--|1866-08-25|The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser - Welsh Newspapers" /> -----"-'-'-"r. ¡ j EXTRACTS FROM " FUMOK" & " i,"r:fN. ¡ ¡-----<>--|1866-08-25|The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser - Welsh Newspapers
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-----------"-IThe Fatal Mseclle.



-----"-'-'-"r. ¡ j EXTRACTS…


-r. ¡ j EXTRACTS FROM FUMOK" & i,"r:fN. ¡ ¡ -<> I OX THE PTVE, 11. I sat in 'a punt at Twickenham, I've sat at Hamptoa-wiek in'era. I hate sea boats, I'm siek in 'em— The man, I, Tom, and DLk ia 'em. Oh, gentles I've been piokia 'em For bait, the man's been stickin 'em. (Cruel!) on hooks with kick ia 'am. The small fisb have been licken 'em. And when the hook was quick in 'em, I with my rod was nickin,em, UD in the air was flinkiu 'em. My feet so cold, kept kio'ilin 'em. We'd hampers with aspic in 'em., Sandwiches made of chicken, 'em We ate, we'd stone jars thick, in 'em Good liquor; pic-nie-ing 'era Sat: till our necks a rick in 'em We turned again t'wards Twickenham. And paid our punts, for tickin 'em They don t quite see at Twickenham. SONG IN PENAL SERVITUDE. I'm a rough, I'm a rough as practised the garotte. Has for me and Reform I've ad that or. and ot. The effects on the back ow I still feels 'em smart; But I hope that the lesson has gone to my art. I've been whipped, I've been whipped! Eighteen lashes I took, And didn't I find it a treat with a ook Eighteen cuts with a cat wus than never a knife: Never spent a ten minutes so bad in my life! Some the chaplain's dewout exhortations don't toleht: But the blest cat-o'-nine-tails I feels werry much And, with all due respect to the reverend gent, My conwersion I owes to that there instrument. Wen my five years is up-now I knows wot is pain- Whosoever I robs I'll from wilence abstain! I've been whipped, I've been whipped; I've beett chastened, yer see, Hand the oat to repentance is all wot brought me. EPIGRAMS. By a Metropolitan Martial. 1.—ON A POLICE MAGISTRATE. Amazed and startled Quidam reads Of brutal force, and violent deeds, Of fierce attacks on men of peaoe Indulged in freely by police- And what still stranger is appearing— Approved of by the Bench on hearing. The cause is clear as is the light! They have the beak's support received, Because he'd have it be believed That Knocks must aye be in the right 1 -O.N L A RECENT CHANGE OF NAME." Some manufacturers of pickles, Who know the public somewhat stickles For unadulterated goods, think proper To note their wares as free from copper." Bat pickles in the Times, alas, The analyst would never pass; For the ingredients should he test, The fact would swiftly stand oonfest- One large component part was brass I 3.—ON ADVERTISING. Some folks, of wisdom who are boasters, Say now-a-days one goes with "posters," Swiftest along the road to ruin; My friend, don't let their words take you in! For every day some proof's affording That if you wish to store up gold, Just as the misers did of old, You'll find the easiest plan a hoarding! I'm not of his opinion quite. THE EPITAPH OF THE SESSION. r August 10, 1866. Here lies the Session that has ended, "Whereof the least said soonest mended." It talked a deal about Reform, And lashed itself into a storm, That nigh wrecked Gladstone's reputation, Lifted Lowe high, and bored the nation: Baales and his roughs brought 'bout our ears, And moved a Walpole's pious tears. Turned out the measures and the men That now we are calling for again And gave ns men, who can't paas measures, "f Nor serve our profits or our pleasures. Six hundred M.P.'s six months' skill It used and hardly nassed a Bill. Sic transit, to the Banks of Styx, Session no-Session, Sixty-six! THERE HE GOES WITH HIS "I" OUT. ,d A contemporary gravely informs us that— "Letters from Athens state that a large extent of the best vinevarda in Greece are attacked by odium, and that repeated treatment by sulphur has not remedied the evil." Poor vines, their sulphurings from odium, so unjustly incurred, must be terrible We cannot see how it is to be expected that such attacks on their character can be remedied by aspersions of brimstone—except homceopathically. N.B. A scientific friend suggests that the state- ment must not be taken literally. He says that, hav- ing an eye to the disease intended, he thinks that o'idium is meant. To which we reply, "I. 1. sir ICHTHYOLOGICAL. "The Lord Chancellor has conferred the vacant living oE St. Margaret Pattens on our excellent sub-editor, the Eev. J. L. Fish, Xvl.A., of Exeter College."—John Bit 11. A wise appointment. Long, in sacred togs, May this good priest read vespers and read matins Bat though we've often seen a &ie in Clogs, We never saw before a Fish in Pattens. ANOTHER CHOP AT THE CHURCff. The Irish Church is certainly done for now. On the episcopal throne of Meath, Lord Derby has seated a Butcher. Is the cathedral dedicated to St. Mary Axe ? ABORTIVE ATTEMPT TO BLOW UP THE ROUSES OF PARLIAMENT.—As if the nine pounds of gun- powder, with a slow match attached, found by the police at three o'clock in the morning of last Monday se'nnight in the neighbourhood of the House of Commons, could effect this The feeble incendiaries who made this childish attempt are hereby warned that the only person licensed to blow up the Houses of Parliament, and all in them, whether Lords or Commons, is JJIT, Punch, and that this well-deserved duty is religiously performed every week during tha Session. AN UNPLEASANT REMINDER.—If tho tiresome street-children beg any of the members of the lata Government to Remember the grotto," how pain- fully their words must force them to remember the cava. COMMUNI-CABLE. — The difference bat ween the cables of 1865 and 1866 is but slight. The latter haa been suocessfally laid by per-severaaee- the former was per-severanoe lost. ONE FROJlI WIMBLEDON.—Why are the winners of the Ashburton Shield like young vines ? Because they have ten-drills and begin to shoot in the spring. TELL US in a word, when the Park rascals come- what they ought to get—and who ought to deal with them ? Nox-kllocks-Knox. EVIDENT.—With what material ought the Needle Rifles to be loaded ? Gun cotton, of course. RIDDLE (by a distinguished Haytian). — What Shakespearian character ought to keep a Hotel Hotello. II' WHEN is a crop likely to be deceptive P When it ia all your rye. THE UNITED STATES.—England and America. 1 0



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