The Brecon Reporter and South Wales General Advertiser

5 AGRICULTURE. # tfARVEST operations have proceeded feut slowly in Essex during fcbo past week, owing to continuous showers, which drove the labourers occasionally from the fields. A considerable breadth of wheat has, how- ever, been cut. Harvest operations have become general about Coningsby, Lincolnshire. The eeopa are a average. About Alford the cropa are pretty good, oat they have been sadly knocked about by rain and wind. Near Caistor the harvest will not be general tor another week. The crops are very much laid. On Mie bouthwolda the harvest has been greatly retarded by recent adverse weather. Harvest operations have become general in the neighbourhood of Stamford, a large number of Irish harvestmen having visited the I the crops are generally good. Harvest opera- tions, although not yet general, have commenced in several places in the neighbourhood of Boston. The crops are much laid. About Whittlesey the wheats have ripened rapidly of late, but have suffered much from recent rains; the harvest has become general both on the high and the low lands. APPLICATION OF MACHINERY TO FARM LABOUR. As a recent meeting of the Logie and Lecroft p ariners' Club, Mr. Finlayson read a paper on this subject, from which we extract the following as pub. lished in the Farmer THRESHING MACHINE.—In regard to the threshing machines, whether plain beater, spike or botting drum, revolving or clank shaker, or whatever plan, small pinions and bevel wheels should be avoided as much as possible. Pitch chains are a very easy method of driving the rollers and shakers, but the first and most important thing to be looked at is a good large horseshed. First give the horses a good .lever power, and the rest becomes easy. Make the lior56s strong, ana you gain the additional advantage of & large outer wheel and pinion, large spur wheel and pinion, large second power and drum pinion, and you thus make four horses do the work of six with everything the other way. It may be laid down as a general ruie that small piniona are ill to r an<* ,aJ great drawback to threshing machines; bat the only way to remedy this evil in many cases, and keep up the required speed, is to begin at the beginning and give the horses a good leverage. Not a few of our mill sheds are just as they were when the flail was first hung over the couples as a thing of no use, and was succeeded by the threshing mills, and it is no wonder they should be a little antiquated. Some of them in the district, where thara is a good deal of threshing to do, are not 23 feet within walls, whereas there should be no shed less than 33 feet. I have had a long trial of both, and the large one, in my experience, has all the advantages I e ascribe to it. FAXNSBS^—There is room for improvement, too, I apprehend, in the way and manner of cleaning our grain. The prevailing principle of the old fanners is long blades, about three feet, some of them more. The invention of fanners was, no doubt, a great affair, however light we may think of it now—a great im- provement on the old plan of cleaning the grain be. tween two barn doors, or going up to the top of a hill, to catch the passing breeze, and perhaps catch the passing shower instead. But we could not expect these men, geniuses though they must have been, to jump to the beat construction of fanners just at once, and I find, as anyone else may find by standing behind them, that in these long. bladed fanners every blade has its own blast. There is a lull and a puff as every blade comes round, and they are of necessity heavy to drive. The most modern fanners, again, which we sea taking prizes at shows, are not so long in the blades-somewhere about two feat, and not very heavy to drive; but in their haste to attain perfection, as I suppose, in cleaning the grain, they have filled the whole inside with riddles, so that the wind has next to no chance at all in doing its duty, as it has no way of a:ti:g upon the grain but through and among these ndales, which is far from right. Grain, you are aware, can only be disoriminately cleaned when it is falling, not when it is striking against or resting on anything; and hence the absurdity of blocking up the whole interior of fanners with riddles. Riddles I would have, and riddles I wonder we have not had in all our mills, and hand fanners, long ago. But then they should be so placed as not to interfere on any account with the winnowing of the grain. There should only be a slight part of the blast allowed to play upon them, and afoot or more clear below for the wind to act on the grain as it falls from the riddles. I find that wire riddles are apt to get clogged up with corn coats banging about them, and that pierced iron or zinc is preferable. But to approach perfection in the winnowing of our grain, I would recommend that our fanners be short in the blades and double-blasted— that is, that they should have two pairs of blades or fans, the one going sut when the other is coming in, or working half-stroke to' eaeb other, to prevent that lulling and puffing that is in all fanners, and to make a regular and constant blow. These riddles, when properly applied, may be said to add nothing to the weight of driving, and such a form of fanners would give plenty of room below for the wind to act on the grain: when it is resting on anything, as is too often dona, is like striking a man when he is down; it gives him no chance of his life. The strong man is weak then, and so is the strong grain. It is aa expensive affair riddling grain by hand, and not everyone of our men can do it. But there is no use for it when it cat. be done otherwise. For I hold that we are much more able to riddle our grain by machinery than the miller is to sift his meal-and how perfectly he does ib. though the one is a much nicer operation than the other! PLOUGHS AND GRUBBERs.-We ought to leave nothing to manual labour that can be done by ma- ohinery. I am only speaking in reference to our own district, for many may be, and many are, I know, far in advance of us in this point. Whatever icon can be introduced into our farm implements, it should take tha piace of wood; iron can be used with advantage in harrows on the great proportion of land. On some light soils, perhaps, and hilly farms, they ca.n scarcely be made light enoaga to stand the obstacles they have to meet with. The old Scotch wooden plough is still in use in some parts of the district, but wooden ploughs, iu whatever form, are never thrifty. The Sootch Rational" can be made in its native" form, and as light and strong in iron as in wood. It would then neither cling with summer's drought nor swell and rot with winter's wet-would last generations in place of a few seasons. But two sets of ploughs are expensive and unnecessary, as one improved iron plough, with a plain broad level sock and a straight coulter, will do winter ploughing equally as well, if not better, than the other, and be as easily drawn. Very short, onvex, sharp-turned, hollow-breasted mould-boards are better for scooping loose land than ploughing it; while a medium length and twist will do fair work on all soils, and prove more generally useful. Wheels, when rightly attached, make a plough very easy to guide. And though a good man at a ploughing match may make better work without them, a very inferior ploughman will, with a day or two's practice, make superior work with them; and it would be a great saving of our ploughmen's bones were wheels more used than they are. What we call grub harrows, when well made, have been found exceedingly useful in tearing up and loosening land that has to be often rolled on the breaking down; and when land is foul, for taking weeds to the surface. The grubber was thought at one time to take the place of the plough, but now it will have enough to do to keep its own place. A turn of the grubber may sometimes be better than a ploughing; betterforkeepinginthemoist, or the sake of a braird in dry weather. But there is danger in going too far, as nothing but the plough can turn the soil over thoroughly to the influences of the atmosphere, which influences, although we have them for nothing, are often more enriching to the soil than tha best aud most costly manures we can apply.

Mr. Snider, the inventer of the system of con- verting Enfields adopted by the Government, is suffer- ing from paralysis of the brain, said to have been greatly accelerated by the worries and anxieties caused by his uncertain and harassing relations with Government. Mr. Wm. Day's Sheep Sale at Woodgates.- On Thursday last Messrs. Ewer and Winstanley, auctioneers, of Salisbury, sold by auction, at Wood- gates, Dorset, the flock of about 1,100 stock ewes and Milver and ram lambs, the property of Mr. William Day, the well-known trainer. The sale was admitted to be the best ever known in this part of England. The rams and ram lambs averaged .£8 5s. per head. The Milver lambs averaged about £ 2 8s. Gd.; the two- teeth ewes about C3 17a. 6d.; the four-tooth nearly 80a.; and the six-teeth about £ 3 2s. 6d. per head, Thetotalproceadsoi' the sale amounted to £ 3 97518s. 6d. j

SPORTS AND PASTIMES. THE Earl of Eglington has offered a silver cup, value 140, to be competed for by the various cricket clubs in Ayrshire. THE ancient pleasure and "goose fair" at Croydon has seen its last day. The old fair field in Park-lame was purchased by arbitration on Wednesday last by the Brighton Railway Company, for the enormous sum of XIS,600, or P,2,000 per acre, and is being boarded in, and the ground dug out for gravel. IN the match Surrey v. England, last week, Mr. Grace, who made 224 runs, is calculated to have travelled five miles between the wiokets. Poor man (says a contemporary)! how many postmen, how- ever old, travel ten miles, and with profit to the country and themselves (16a. a week) in the same time! SOME hawking parties are at present taking place at t +^apa81Qe' falcoDry waa week established at the Camp at Chalons, where were collected speci- mens of all kinds of birds used for this sport. Several parties took place, at whioh Prince Joachim Murat, Marshal Regnauld de-Saint-Je&n-d'Angely, Count do Montebello, Count Davilliers, &c., were present. THOMAS POWELL, Esq., the lessee of Old Mar Lodge, Braemar, was out stalking last Wednesday, and killed five fine stags, one of them having a fine royal head. On Friday he killed two stags near the Lodge. The same day the Hon. George S. Duff was out in Alton- ower-forest, and killed two splendid stags. Last Mon- day Colonel Farquharson, after a highly exciting stalk, killed a couple of fine stags in the forest to the east of Invercauld-house. Sporting prospects continue excel- lent. Mr. Powell was out duck shooting on Thurs- day, and bagged seventy head on the Craggon Loch and contiguous ground near Auanquoioh. THE International Marine Exhibition is to open at Boulogne on the 16th instant. Norway, Holland, Denmark, Prussia, England, Ireland, and Scotland have already forwarded contributions of the various fishing, tackle made use of in these countries, as well as of valuable works, drawings, prints, Sio., bearing on marine subjects. The last International Marine Exhi- bition took place last year at Bergen, in Norway, and was a decided success. A monster aquarium is like- wise to afford amusement to the visitors to Boulogue, and the 15th inat. is to be commemorated in that sea- port by a gorgeous religious ceremony, at which several archbishops and bishops are to be present, in order to consecrate the magnificent altar presented by the Roman Prince Tortonia to the cathedral. This altar, composed of the rarest marbles, is incrusted with pre- cious stones and cameos of exquisite beauty. As a work of artistio merit it is said to be the finest which has been produced at Rome during the present cen- tury. Its value amounts to l,000,000f. ONE of the pests of the English turf, named Harry Jones, alias Davis, made his appearance at the Deauville race-course, France, last Saturday and Sunday, accom- panied by some more of the fraternity. They took up their quarters at a first-class hotel, where they left the bill unpaid. Jones superintended the betting list, n9atly arranged, in a Carriage, under the name' of Morria and Co., 12S, Regent.street. Sunday, it ap- pears, was fixed upon by these soamps for their grand eoup, and.a woon us the racea commenced, Mr. Jones explained to the public in French that the best raca to bet upon was the steeple chase, the last race, and, consequently, Morria and Co. received a goad deal of money, about G.OGOfr. wo are told. Whilst the dead heat waa being run off, and just prior to the steeple chase, Mr. Jones informed an old Jew who was selling sticks on the eourae that his friends and himself were going to take some refreshment, and that, if he would take care of the conveyance, representing the estab- lishment of Morris and Co., he would reward him with five francs. Our readers can imagine where Mr. Harry Jones with his friends went to, and they can likewise imagine the position of poor Shy lock when the backers of Yalentino came howling for their money at the impromptu bank of Morris and Co. The police were sent after the fellows, but they evaded them until they reached Dieppe, where Jones was arrested at the moment he was embarking for Newhaven, en route for Brighton races. He was remanded for a week, and it is to be hoped will be sentenced to a lengthened term of im. prisonment. SEVERAL anglers have had good sport in the Galway river this season. They have killed 1,982 salmon in 19 weeks. Professor Townshend killed 82lbs. weight in one day, and his brother killed 152 salmon in the month of June. Major de Montmorency killed between March 14th and June salmon weighing 2,1001bs. On the 18th June he caught 20 salmon, 16 by fly, and four by the shrimp bait. The net-fishing has, been very bad.

THE QUEEN'S SPEECH. In France and other continental countries, and like- wise in America, the speeches from the throne, or from the President, far exceed in interest the speeches framed by the ativisera of the Sovereign for delivery in the British Parliament. With us these Royal speeches generally convey as little real information as possible, and it would not puzzle an ordinary man to write beforehand a speeek which would anticipate almost all that the real speech from the throne would embrace. The Queen's Speech, as read by the Lord Chancellor, forms no exception to the general rule. Lord Derby had really nothidg to tell beyond what all the world knew. It was a series of truisms which meant nothing, and were not intended to couvey more. All the world was well aware that this country was at peace with all the world, and that both the late and present Government had stedfastly carried out the principle of strict neutrality with respect to the late war on the Continent. Every one can easily believe that it must have been a trying time for her Majesty while the war raged between the several continental Powers, with whom she was connected, not only by ties of friendship, but of blood. The Queen had therefore, DO option but to remain a quiet but anxious spectator of the events which, within a few weeks, have in a great measure altered the whole aspect of Central Europe. All that either the late or the present Government could do was to offer advice, and to aid the Emperor of the French in his efforts to bring about an armistice; but all this was known before. Then the second paragraph of the speech naturally refers to the miserable Fenian conspiracy, which has compelled the legislature to suspend the Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland until Parliament meets again. The Government could not but refer to this in the speech from tha throne; but it ia satisfactory to find that due honour is paid to the United States Gover p- ment for the bond fide manner in which it has acted in preventing a continuance of the raids of the Fenian invaders in Canada. To the President of the United States this country is mach indebted for the firm and determined course which he took. Without he had acted with decision and firmness, it is impossible to say what misery these misguided men might :ínot have inflicted on our Canadian color, ies. This paragraph of the speech cannot fail to be most acceptable to our brethren on the other side of the Atlantic. The late monetary crisis in this country could scarcely have been passed over in silence. Too many of her Majesty's subjects have bepn such severe sufferers by the panic and by the continued high rate of discount not to look to the Speech to see if they cannot gather a crumb of comfort from it, and a little hope for the future; but the Speech conveys nothing but what was known before. The monetary pres- sure still continues, and although thero is less alarm new than there was some weeks ago, yet the fact re- mains patent that so long as it continues necessary to retain the rate of discount at 10 per cent. it is vain to expect a revival of trade. Her Majesty is made to say that trade is sound, and the condition of the people generally prosperous. It may ba so, but we think we could point to a large class of mer- chants who can scarcely hope to be able to hold out longer unless money becomes very much easier. How, for instance, can manufacturers hold on at the present high rate of discount? Com- petition is so great that to do business they must consent to accept a very small profit. They are paid for their goods by bills, but if they have to pay 10 to 12 per cent, discount it is impossible for them to carry on business. It is to be hoped that the favourable anticipation contained in the speech from the Throne may be realised, but we confess we are not very san- guine at present. There can be no doubt but that the energetic measures brought in and passed by the late Government with respect to the cattle plague have done much good, and the public generally will agree with the Government that the worst is parsed, and that in a few months the rinderpest will become one of the things of the past. Not so, however, with respect to the cholera, which is now raging amongst us. We fear that there is a vast deal yet to be gone through ere we have seen the worst of it; at the same time the Government are justified in taking credit to themselves for the manner in which they have hurried through Parliament during the I-, -it few days of the sesbion the Sanitary Act, which confers almcst absolute powers on the Privy Council and local authorities for the suppression of nuisances, and for inaugurating mea- sures of prevention; and it now only remains for the authorities to carry out the wish expressed in the speech, "that her Majesty hopes that those in whose hands so large and beneficial an authority is left will not be slow to execute the powers entrusted to them, and that they will be seconded in their endeavours by all who have at heart the safety and well-being of her people." The speech also refers, in connection with this subject, to the Act which has passed for improv- ing the navigation of the river Thames. This Act has not a very high-sounding title, but we have reason to believe that it will be the commencement of a series of Acts which will be endeavoured to be passed to prevent the future pollution of rivers, by making it an offence to allow sewage matter to be drained into running water. It is, indeed, a subject for congratulation for any Government to be enabled to announce the successful laying of the Atlantic Cable. Lord Derby's administration have naturally not much to congratulate the country upon, and therefore it is not surprising that they should make the most of the successful laying of the new cable, although it does not appear quite clear that they have had anything to do with it. On the whole, a more barren speech can scarcely be conceived, although the session has been a peculiarly exciting one. On the great question of Reform, and the cir- cumstances under which the Conservatives came into power, the speech is necessarily silent, and, therefore, it is not surprising that the speech which the Govern- ment plaoed in the hands of her Majesty should be more than usually dull and uninteresting.- Obse,ver. —♦

A gentleman in Chicago had occasion to call at the house of a friend. He rang the bell; but, before he could speak, the buxom Dutch girl threw her fat arms about his neck, and fastened her red lips to his in a long, long kiss," ejaculating, "A eh, mein bruder —mien bruder!" But the cool Chicagonian merely ejaculated, What the d 1! And Katrine, on discovering her error, retired, much redder in the face, to her quarters in the kitchen. She dink he vas mine aoldier bruder, come home from de wars." Araong the peculiarities, if not eccentricities, of literature, it may be mentioned that George Sala is so near-sighted, that, when engaged in writing, he place3 the paper on a chair, and kneels down, as if about to perform an act of devotion. Miss Braddon, when similarly engaged, seats herself on a low chair, puts a quire of paper on a music-book, holds her ink-bottle in her left hand, and writes away by the hour. Her debut originally was in the poetical line. Poets have left off writing. Prop e pays, and verse does not. The poets who write valentines, and the poet kept by Mr. MOl!e, with the exception of the Poet Laureate and Tupper, are the only poets who can make an honest penny by their trade.

THE CHOLERA AND TEE CATTLE PLAOUF,- Order for new Form of Prayer. i At the Court at Osborne House, Isle of lvight, the 9th day of August, 1866, Present, the Queen's Most Excellent Majesty in Council. It is this day ordered by her Majesty in council that ¡ his Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury do prepare a form of prayer to Almighty God for relief from the plague now existing amongst cattle and for protection against the cholera, and that such form of prayer be used in all churches and chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of Berwick-upon-Tweed on Sunday, the 12th day of August instant, and whenever Divine service is celebrated during the prevalence of the cholera and of cattle plague in thia country, instead of the prayer now used for relief from the plague existing amongst cattle and for protection against cholera. And it is hereby further ordered, that her Majesty's printer do forthwith print a competent number of copies of the said form of prayer, in order that the same may be forthwith sent round, and used in the several churches and chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of Berwick-upon-Tweed. EDMUNB HAKBISON. It is this day ordered by her Majesty in Council that all ministers and preachers, as well of the Established Church in that past of Great Britain called Scotland, as of the Episcopal Communion, protected and allowed by an Act, passed in the tenth year of the reign of her Majesty Queen Anne, chapter seven, do, at some time, during the exercise of Divine service in their churches, congregations, or assemblies, on Sunday, the 12fch day of August instant, aad sub- sequently during the exercise of Divine service, while cholera and cattle plague continue prevalent in this country, pat up a prayer to Almighty God for relief from the plague now existing amongst cattle, and for protection against the cholera. EDMUND- HARRISOT, The Form of Prayer. The following is the form of prayer prepared by the most rev. prelate in accordance with the above order. It is to be read immediately after the third collect in the morning and evening services in all churches and chapels in England and Wales, and in the town of Berwick-upon-Tweed, on Sunday, the 12th day of August, 1866, and whenever Divine service is cele- brated during the prevalence of the cholera and of cattle plague in this country, instead of the prayer now used for relief of the plague existing amongst cattle, and for protection against the cholera :— "0, Almighty God and Merciful Father, our only refuge in the time of need, we approach Thea under a deep sense of our sinfulness, and in awe of Thy judg- ments which areabroad in the pestilenee that has now reached our shores. We desire to humble ourselves under Thy mighty hand, confessing our iniquities which have justly provoked Thy wrath against us. We acknowledge with shame and sorrow that we have shown ourselves unthankful far Thy mercies; we have followed our own will rather than Thy holy law, and have not, in our prosperity, honoured Thee as the author and giver of it all. Take from us, we beseech Thee, all hardness of heart and unbelief, all neglect of Thy ordinances, and contempt of Thy word. Correct us, 0 Lord, but not in Thiae ange; and with- draw from nOlt in thine own good time, the scourge with which thou hast visited us. Give ua an heart to comfort and succour all who are stricken by it; in- cline ua to aid in ministering tc,, their wants, and assuaging their sufferings. "And in the presence of this great mortality may we all be reminded that in the midst of life we are in death. Give us grace to turn from our evil ways, and seek the Lord our Saviour, while lIe may be found, with hearty repentance and true faith ? so shall we in quiet and confidence await Tlty holy will, and be ready, shouldest Thou call us, to yield up our souls to Thee, 0 gracious Father, in the blessed hope of ever- lasting life, through the mediation, and for the merits of Thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. A-men. "0 Lord God Almighty, whose are the cattle on a thousand hills, and in whose hand is the breath of every living thing, look down, we beseech Thee, in compassion upon Thy servants, whom Thou hast visited wHh a grievous murrain among our herds and nooka. We acknowledge our transgressions, which worthily deserve Thy chastisement, and our sin is ever before us and. in humble penitence we come to seek thy aid. Stay, we pray Thee, thia- plague, by Thy word of power, and save that provision which Thou hadst, in Thy goodness, granted for our sustenance; so shall we offer unto thee the sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving for these thy acts of providence over us, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."—Lmdon Gazette.

WILLS AND BEQUESTS. The will of the Right Hon. Mary Juliana, Dowager Countess of Banfarly, late of Dungannon-park, Tyrone, Ireland, and of 10, Gloucester-place, Hyde- park, was proved in London, on the 3Let ult., under • £ 7,000 personalty, by the executors, Lieutenant- Colonel William Stuart, M.P., of Kimpton Lodge, Beds, and Hensy Alexander, Esq., of Forkhill, Armagh. Lady Ranfurlv, the testatrix, was the daughter of the late Archbishop Stuart, of Armagh, and was married, in 1815, to Thomas, second Earl of Ranfarly, and had issue nine children, three sons and six daughters. Her ladyship died July 11, 1866, at the age of 69, having executed her will in .15, and a codicil the same year, and a second codicil in 1853. Her ladyship has bequeathed to her son, Major the Hon. William Stuart Knox, all her funded property, and has apportioned to him a sum of £ 2,000 under the will of the late Juliana Rawlins; and bequeaths to her unmarried daughters the claim arising from a policy of insurance on her own life, and also leaves to them the residue of her property. The will of Admiral the Hon. Augustus Warren Baldwin, late of Russell-hill, township of York, pro- vince of Canada, was proved in London, on the 18th ulfc., by his nephew William Augustus Baldwin, Esq., the surviving executor and trustee. The gallant admiral died January 5,1866, at his residence, Russell- hill, having executed his will August 14, 1850, which was first proved in Canada, in the United Court of York and Peel. He has therein bequeathed to his wife for her life his mansion, Russell-hill, with his furniture, farming stock, together with the principal part of his property, including his stock in the Bank of Upper Canada; and after her decease he directs his estate to be divided chiefly amongst his nephews and nieces, appointing them also residuary legatees; leaving to his grand-nephew, Robert Bald- win, his naval medal; and to Lawrence Heyden he bequeaths his stock in the Desjardins Canal Com- pany. The will of Lieutenant-General George Rule Pom- berton, of her Majesty's Indian Army, was provea m the London court by his relict, Anno Martha Josepnine Pemberton, to whom ha haa bequeathed the whole of his property for her own absolute use Mid benefit. The will of the late Henry Revell Reynolds, Esq., solicitor to her Majesty's Treasury, was proved, on the 28th ult., by the executors—namely, his widow and Mr. Henry Ray Freshfield.. The testator was twice married. After making various bequests to his children, he has bequeathed to his widow, in addition to the provision made for' y Carriage settle- ment, an annuity of 0> He also makes to her allowances for his niiiior children. Subject to this, each child's portion is directed to be made up with moneys advanced to some 5,OOO; and the residue is divided among all the ehudren equally. The per- sonalty was sworn under A70,000.—Illustrated London Ne,tt s.

Burning of Compton-house, Liverpool.—A- the Liverpool assizes on Saturday, Thomas Henry S weeting was charged with having set fire to Compton- house. It will be remembered that on the 1st of De- comber last Messrs. Jeffrej's place of business at Liver- pool was burnt down, a vast amount of valuable property destroyed, and the lives of about one hundred people placed in great jeopardy. For some time after the fire it was not possible to assign any causa tor it. By chance the prisoner said something1 which directed suspicion to himself. A search at his house led to the discovery of a diary, a pen-and-ink v af°j part of the premises in which the fire started, and a paper containing what seemed a draught of an entry from the diary. This was written to account minutely for his time on the night of the fire. He had also made a statement which appeared to amount almost to a confession. He was found guilty, and his counsel asked that a point which he had raised might be reserved for the superior courts. ) This was at first refused, but the judge (Mr. Baron Martin) afterwards said he would consult Mr. Justice Lush. Sentence waa deferred,

FACTS' AND F ACETI..Æ. If a man ruapeth what,soever he soweth, what # harvest of coats and bkeeehea our tailors will have o»e of these days. What is that which must betaken from you before you can give it away ?—Your photograph! Oil,, you old buffer! as the old woman exclaimed when an engine knocked her down. Nearly all the post-offices ia Texaa are in charge of females. It w^rks so well that the males now arrive and depart every hour in the day. "What is a Flirt ?—Longfellow replies: A youo*? lady of more beauty than sense; more accompli8"* ments than learning; more eharms of person thau grace of mind; more admirers than friends; JIlore fools than wise men for attendants. 14 Mr. Porson, I beg leave to tell you, sir, ibilt my opinion of you is perfectly contemptible." PorsoB replied, "I never knew any opinion of youra, Sir, which was not contemptible." Smoking Him.—" You look," said an to a pale, haggard smoker, "aa if you had got oat your grave to light your cigar and coaldn't find; yoKit your grave to light your cigar and coaldn't and! yoKit way back again." A gentleman who had been spending the eveni°^ with a few friends, looking at his watch just aftet midnight, said, It ia to-morrow morning! I en13' bid you good-night, gentlemen." What is the difference between a goose and a ê\f4 feated adversary? One gives down and the othet gives up. j When must a mariner suffer most from tmroquit,03 affection ? When he is attached to a vessel that is at- f tached to a'wk"G The London Conundrum Society have awarded' tbf annual gold medal to the author of the following spÐ(Jl> men of harmless insanity:—Why is a man cutting grass like Othello ?—Because he ia a mower. What is the reason that your wife and YOO ■ always disagree ? asked one Irishman of anothet. Because we are both of one mind. She wants ta be master and so do I." "So you are going to keep house?" asked' all i inquisitive maiden of a bride. "Yes;' said "Going to have a girl, I suppose." "I really do»" know, was the blushing reply, whether it will be girl or a boy," "I wish I could prevail on neighbour Rinder- tD' keep the Sabbath," said good old Mr. Jonea. 1. tell you how to do it," exclaimed iacisiva young Smi^ get somebody to lend it to him, and I'll be booi^ that he'll keep it. He was never yet known to ratuo anything that he borrowed." 3Lsfc Me Go.— I clasped her tiny hand is mine I I clasped her beauteous form; I vowed to shiaM her from the wind And from the world's cold storm. She set her beauteous eyes on me, The tears did wildly flow, And with her little lips she said, Confound you, let me go." American writer says. that the vice of ftlshicil" > able dialling is now more prevalent among the ladies than among the gentlemen of America. Oar fashion- able ftimale drinkera do not care so much for wineSr and claret-panches, and sherry-cobblers. They caJ1 j obtain such beverages at dinner: or at evening pl.Iorties, and weeii left to themselves they prefer stronger j spirits. Whisky and brandy are the favourite driDks with these ladies. Some of the saloona which tbe, frequent do not have the stronger liquors upon the bili of fare, but a neat little sign, which reads, 'If J do not see what you want, ask for it, gives the hi*1" to the initiated." We do not IMiave a word of this! and consider that the American who wrote, vilely slandered the fair fame of his country woman. If the hours get weary in America there is a falld of amusement in studying the odd characters thO passeiifcjsrs are made up of, from .the. old lady who 18 travelling alone, and who is "sure the engineers drink, and that the boilers are going to burst," to the emigrant who has left his fatherland for a home in the New World. We made lota of .acquaintance, but 011.6 old gentleman rather got the "dead wood" on US" Wishing +;0 open ib conversation with him, in an artle^ and unaffected manner we asked him, Who he thought wrote Junius ? He looked at ua a moment. Young man, said he, I do not think it waa you, but it was probably some other fool." We did not make his acquaintance. Like a G,.antleman.-A- gosd mot is recorded of Mrs. Howard Paul, who, attired as Mr. Sims Reeves. and standing on the stage of tha Princess's Theatre, preparatory to singing, was rudely jostled and almost knocked down by a Bcene-shifter, who, of course, did! II not recognise her in the disguise. In the confusion of his work, and igaorant of the extent of the oollisioflj the man simply hurried away without the least apology* at which Mrs. Paul was naturally indignant. A frien^ standing near immediately came to her assistance, attempted to console her. You may depend on ifc(" said the friend, in palliation of the servant's rude' carelessness, "he did not know you in that dress,- your make-up is so perfect that' he took you fOf p, man." That's possible," was the quit rejoinder of Mrs. Howard Paul; but even if he did, he might have treated r.'e like a gentleman." We cull the following "Advertisement" from pen of "Josh Billinga," the Robins °~ America:—"I kan sell for eighteen hundred an<» thirty-nine dollars, a pallas, a sweet and pensivs retirement, lokated on the virgin banks ov the Hudson, kontaining 85 acres. The land ia luxuriously retirement, lokated on the virgin banks ov the Hudson, kontaining 85 acres. The land is luxuriously divded by the hand of natur and art, into pastor and' tillage, into plain and deklivity, into stern abruptness and the dallia-rse ov moss-tufted medder; streams sparkling gladness (thick with trout) danse through this wilderness of buty, tew the low musik ov tb9 kricket and grasshopper. The evergreen sighs az the evening zehir flits through its-shadowy buzzum, aiid the aspen trembles like the love-smitten harte ov a. damsell. Fruits of the tropicks, in golden buty, melt on the bows, and the bees go heavy and sweet from the fields to their garnering hives. The stables Me worthy of the steeds ov Nimrod or the Btuda of Akilles, and ita henery was hilt expressly for the birds ov paradice; while somber in the distance, like the cave ov a hermit, glimpses are caught ov the eorg- house. Here poets have come and warbled their laze,. here sculptors have cut, here painters have robbed tbf, scene ov dreamy landskapes, and here the philosopher discovered the stun, which made him the alkimist air Ba^r' the y°uug moon hangs like cutting ov silver from blu breast of the ski, angel may be seen each night dansing with golden tip' toes on the green. (N.B.—Thia angel goes with the Place.) Mrs. S. C. I-Iall, in heir new work, tella the follow.* ing hamorous story concerning Tom Lavery and his wife's quarrel about a chest of drawers that they did not have: Oh, tell us that, granny darlint," ex- claimed little Tim Davereux, still holding his grand- father's hand; "I want a story go bad." Well, Tim, here it is," said the old woman, The chest of drawers will stand beautiful under the window,' said Tom Lavery. Under the window!' repeated his wife -as pretty a little woman as you'd see in a day's walk, bvjt with a cruel torigue that would give nineteen to the dozen any day, and not think it a trouble- $ under the window,' she said again, with a scornful curl on her lip, it shall never go under the window while I have breath in my body no, it shall stand forenent the window, where it will be seen and ad- mired under the window, indeed! I wonder you don't say up the chimney!' It shall go under the window, Moyna Lavery: it's teo asy going I have been with you, intirely. You are never satisfied, full or fasting, and think all the world must curtsey to you; it shall go under the window, and you'd better not dare hinder it!' 'It never shall,' said Moyna; I'll pitch the window into the street first,' C AlI.d I'd pitch you after it for company,' said Tom. On thia Moyna raised a wirristhrue' that you'd hear from this to Bantry, and Tom's loud veice had more noiae than sense it-and Tom took the stick to his wife, and she screamed murder, and at the lucky minute the door opened, and there, sure enough, stood Father Barry, and, as became a holy and good man, he asked them what they were at and what they were after, and as Moyna had the nimblest tongue, she said her hus- band was that omathawn that he would have the chest of drawers under the window, which she would never give into, never! she'd lay her bones in the green ohurchyard first!' But where's the chest of drawers p., said Father Ba.rry-and may be the fool's look didn't come over both their faces. The chest of drawers,* said one; Is it the chest of drawers,' said the other; oh, sorra a chest of drawers we have at all—yet.' So I was just thinking it's a good way to get our tights before we take on about them."