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EXTRACTS FROM. FUJTCH » & S'UII ♦ To a Friend in Town. By a Country Catullus. You, my friend, in city pent, Write, in tones of discontent, That you do-ar you'll be sllot- Envy me my rural lot," And minutely then jot down All that worries you in town. Friend, of envious thoughts beware, Life is never free from care; Though who treads the crowded streets Troubtaa at each turning meets,— Care, with obstinate effcont'ry, Follows one into the country. Not alone in postal district Life by disappointment is trick'd. Your tormentors, Bnwn and Jones, Wear the flesh from off your bones Which interpreted, but means, Snails and slugs devour my baans, 'Tis not every night one can turn Out to hunt them with a lantern.; Smith your smartest things will bone, And repeals them as his own"— Well, to thievish birds I cry, "Sparrow, be a passer-by! In my cherries I delight- Blackbirds will draw bills at sight I Stokes your poems his reviewed In a way unfair and rude "— Well, a jackass, t'other day, Happening to pass my way, O'er my paling thrust his nose— For a thiatle took my rose But you'll say-for you've some Lvense- That I have a recompense, That my joys outweigh by f ar The vexations that there are. ? Ah, my friend, remember this- Ne'er unmixed is human bliss If you have far days together Nice dry sunny summer weather Grassplots craok, and flow'r-beda harden. You must water all the garden !— Breezes from the balmy south Oft blow chafera in your mouth Waiting! Oh, come! oh, coma! the mother prayed. And hushed her babe, "Let me behold Once more thy stately form, arrayed Like autumn woods in green and gold I see thy brethren come and ga; Thy peers in stature, and in hue Thy rivals. Some, like monarcha, glow With richest purple; some-are blue As skies that tempt the swallow back, Or red as seen o'er wintry seas, The star of storm, or barred with black And yellow, like the April bees. They come and go. I heed not, 1. Yet others hail their coming; cling All trustful to their side, and fly Safe in their gentle piloting, To happy homes on heath or hill, By park or river. Still I wait And peer into the darkness; still Thou com'st not-I am desolate. Hush hark I see a towering form From the dim distance slowly rolled, It reeks like lilies in a storm, And, oh! its hues are green and gold "It comes! it comes! Ah rest is sweet, And there is rest, my babe, for us." She ceased, as at her very feet Stopped the St. John'E-wood omnibus. The Coal Question By an Economical Housewife. Coals will be soon exhausted," say Some folks: -and I don't doubt 'em; Bat let them slowly burn away,— Don't make a stir about 'em. Give a Dog a Bad Name. The truth of the old saw," Give a dog a bad name, and hang him "-as high as Haman, as recently been illus- bra,ted by a namesake of the eminent Orientat A letter has been addressed to several of the papers, da.ted from the Turkish Bath, Jermyn-street, and signed, "Haman Smith, Superintendent." This person, was appears bo have been happily selected for the post, as peculiarly mited to adapt the Eastern luxuries of Haman, the Oriental, to the tastes of Smith, the Briton, knows very little about hydrophobia, for he alleges as areasoc for getting a gratuitous puff of the baths the fact that "the time of the year is approaching when oases of hydrophobia are most prevalent "-evidently alluding to the Dog Days, which ignorance always associates with caninel ureey instead of the canine star, Sirius. It so hapPBDs-and Haman Smith Elfaadi, .Etacjoire, ought ta be glad to learn it, as he will get two men- tions of his bath this year instead of cne-that hydro- phobia is rather less than more prevalent during hot weather. A Bee that has Flown Away. There was R. funny typographical slip in a capital leader in a daily contemporary of ours the either day, In speaking of the necessity of altering onr lailway carriages for the benefit of unprotected travellers, male and female, it said- "On some of our lines there are alresviy Sinoking-car- riages, which might be taken as models if, indeed, we are too proud to borrow from the Americans, h )sj system is one of thorough pulicity." If thorough "pulicity" be the Amerioau system, surely it is a model we should avoid—not to sa-v flee. The omission of a little "b" turns the allusion to another insect quite as busy, but not so favourably re- garded. An Imaginary Despatch. The Qaeen is much displeased with the darkness in which the Ministers have kept their Sovereign in reference to public affairs. flld the, Queen been made aware that a Miniaterkt,! crisis was in the letst likely to arise during the period which had bet'n set apart for her visit to the Scotch, that visit would, of coarse, have been postponed until another season. The Qaeen was too well itware of the vast inconvenience, not to say danger, that might occur from the country being without a Govern- ment, for a whole weeir, at a time when Europe is in convulsions,, to have thought of beiog absent from the metropolis during a political change. If the Queen preferred to spend the anniversary of her accession among the Highlanders, that. preference should not have dominated the exigencies of the hour, Bor should an aged Presbyterian Minister have been com- pelled to contemplate a. journey of 1,400 miles to resign office.. The Queen is t.oo well acquainted with the senti- ments of her subjects in reference to all her actions to suppose that they can ever be misinterpreted, but the Ministers who neglected to apprise her that they in. tended to take an early vote of confidence ought, to have seen that such neglect migbtjilBtify the idea. that the Queen, for the first time in her life, bad allowed her own pleasure to interfere with the functions of Royalty." Balmoral, June 20,1886. Marvellous. We do not believe in spiritualism or magic (except sleight of hand and so forth), but what are we to say to a fact such as this ?— 11 The other day a veracious witness actually saw a young man turn into a public house." Transformation extraordinary! Farther evident will shortly be forthcoming.

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