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IMPERIAL PARLIAMENT.

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THE PROROGATION OF PARLIAMENT.

EXECUTION AT HORSEMONGER-LANE…

IALL SIMPLICITY and RUDE PLENTY.I

BARON KRUDENER.

SHEEP-FARMING IN JAPAN.

OPENING THE NEW HOTEL DIEU…

THE NAVAL ENGAGEMENT IN THE…

A RECOLLECTION OF SINOPE.

WISE IN THEIR GENERATION.

ATTAR OF ROSES."

A CURIOUS INCIDENT.

DEATH of a MEMBER of the LIVINGSTONIA…

ARMIES FED ON DATES.

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r11■1■■■-— A QUESTION TO BE…

THE COLORADO BEETLE SCARE.

MR. MECHI ON THE CROPS.

THE TASTE FOR SHOOTING.

SHODDY VINEGAR.

SELECTED ANECDOTES.

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SELECTED ANECDOTES. A ENfIIB OF REBPOXSIBUJTT. A distinguished Southern gentleman, dinirw at a New York hotel, was annoyed at a negro servant continually waiting upon him, and desired him one day at dinner to retire. Excuse me, sir," said Cuffy, drawing him- self up, but I'se 'sponsible for de silver." WOMEN'S PRIVILEGE.—To a lady who had ventured to oppose Dr. Parr with more warmth of temper than cogency of reasoning, but who apologised by saying "It was the privilege of women to talk nonsense, he replied, "No, madam, it is not their privilege, but their infirmity. Ducks would walk if they could; but nature suffers them only to waddle EXTEMPORE PROVERBS.—Swift had an odd humour of making extempore proverbs. Observing that a gentleman in whose garden he walked with some friends seemed to have no intention to request them to eat any of the fruit, Swift observed, It was a saying of his dear grandmother, Always pull a peach When it is within your reach and helping himself accordingly, his example was fol- lowed by the whole company. At another time he framed an old saying and true," for the benefit of a periOD who had fallen from his horse into the mire:— The more dirt The less hurt. The man rose much consoled. SMOKING IS HOLLAND.—" Smoking in Holland," said a traveller, is so common that it is impossible to tell one person from another in a room full of smokers." How is any one who happens to be wanted picked out, then?" asked a listener. "Oh, in that case, a waiter goes round with a pair of bellows and blows the smoke from before each face till he recognizes the person called for." His VIEW OF IT.—An old Marquesan chief, on being told by a missionary that in heaven there was no war, or hunger, or thirft, or sickness, or death, replied "That will be a good place for cowards and lazy folks, who are afraid to fight and too lazy to climb bread-fruit and cocoanut trees." RATHER TALL — A Transatlantic contemporary works up to a climax in a complimentary notice, in the following cautious manner :—" The large blue eyes of the bride seemed brighter than ever; and, with her light hair, formed a suitable contrast to her hus- band's extremely black hair and eyes. This matri- monial alliance has not been entered into unadvisedly; it has been in contemplation for about two years, and meets with the most cardial approval of all the rela- tives and friends of the newly-married couple. The bride's mother regards her new son-in-law as if he were her own son. He will continue, as heretofore, to be employed in the vegetable-ivory button factory." THE RAINT DAT.—A gentleman travelling in one of the Southern States of Asierica, during a storm, took shelter in the cabin of a negro. through the broken roof of which the rain poured down in torrents. 11 I-Xhy don't you mend your roof, Cuff ? said the gentleman. "Oh, um rain o, massa, ('<¡'l't," ¡Iid the negro. "But why don't you meiid it when it doesn't rain?'' asked the gentleman "Yah, massa," s^idthe negro, with a grin den um dohn want mendin' TAKIKG IT LITERALLY.—A countryman in the depths of dyspeptic despair called on a physician. The doctor gave him some plain advice ti1 hisfood, making a thorough change, and ended by waiting a prescription for some tonic, saying, Take that,, and come back in a fortnight." In ten clays Giles returned, blooming and happy, the picture of health- The doctor was delighted, and proud of his skill. He asked to see what he had given him. Giles said he had not got it. Where was it? "—" I took it, sir." —" Took it! what have you done with it I ate it, sir You told me to take it! A RUNNJNG FOOTMA.N.-The Duke of Queens- borough, who died in 1810 is said to have been the last nobleman who kept running footmen: he was in the habit, before engaging them, of trying their paces, by seeing how they could run up and down Piccadilly, he watching and timing them from the balcony. They put on his livery before the trial. On one occa- sion, a candidate presented himself, and ran. At the conclusion of his performance, he stood before the balcony. You'll do very well for me/said the Duke. 'Your livery will do very well for me,'replied the man, and gave the Duke a last proof of his ability as a runner by running away with it. AN EXTENSIVE TRADER.—A gentleman observing the name of a clergyman in the Gazette, as a bankrupt, expressed his astonishment, and inquired, "What article oould he deal in ? To which a wag replied, What article ? why in no fewer than thirty-nine "ISB NOWHAP xxam DE Top.It is generally supposed that the "average American" beats the world in hitf love of big titles, and in his use of them but the freed Southern negro beats his white fellow citizen all hollow. We hear from Texas of one who is Head Centre of a Lodge—exactly of what sort we don't know, but we suppose that it must be a lodge in the wilderness or perhaps, in Solomon's phrase, a lodge in a garden of cucumbers. This culled pusson will spend two months' wages to report" at a grand junction "jainberee" of his "lodge." The titles of the officers of these associations are something wonderful. A negro office boy down there asked leave of absence for a day to attend a meeting. Why," said his master, Scip, I didn't know you belonged to a lodge." "Oh, yes boss, "replied Africanus, Ise Supreme Grand King, an' Ise now- har near de top nuther." Who shall say that the abolition of slavery was not worth all that it cost ? WHAT A NOSE Not many years ago, in the village of Eatonton, Georgia, a man made his appear- ance and stopped at the tavern. He had a most -to- markable nose, one which almost monopolised his entire face-red, Roman, enormous. The glances cast at it and the remarks made about it had rendered its owner somewhat sensitive upon the subject. A half- grown negro boy was summoned by the proprietor to, carry his baggage to his room. Cuffee was much taken with the nose. As he came out of the room, unable t@ contain himself longer, he exclaimed, Golly, what a nose Our traveller overheard him, and went to his m&ster with a demand for his punish- ment. Cuffee was called up, and at the suggestion of some bystanders, was let off on condition that he would apologize to the offended gentleman. This he readily agreed to do. Walking to the room where our traveller was, and touching his hat and humbly bow- ing, he said, Massa, you ain't got no nose at all ARE THERE EQUESTRIAN ANGELS ?—An old farmer, a crabbed sort of fellow, used to give his minister a load of hay every summer as his yearly present. Whenever he came with his load, the hay somehow or other used to be very low on the scaffold, and it gave him a good opportunity to scold. "How you do waste your hay, Parson 1) ? You have too muck company; you shouldn't ask everybody that comes along to stay all nieht. Do 2s I do when it comes dark, lock your door and go to bed."—" But," replied the minister, you would not turn a stranger away, would you, Mr. B- ? The Bible commends hospi- tality and you know it says that in entertain- ing strangers, some have entertained angels, un- awares!"—"Ay! ay!" returned the old gentleman, but angels don't ride on horses JAW-BONE AND BRAINS.—John Hunter, the great teacher of anatomy, in demonstrating the jaw-bone, observed that the bone was known to abound in pro- portion to the want of brains. Some students at the time were talking instead of attending to the lecture, when Hunter exclaimed, Gentlemen, let us have more intellect, and less jaw. THE DUTCHMAN'S BARGAIN.—A Dutchman let his lands to an oil company on condition of receiving one- eighth of the oil procured. The well proved to be a pretty good one, and the farmer began to think that the oil men should give him a better chance, and ven- tured to tell them so. They asked him what he wanted. He said they ought to give one twelfth. The agreement was finally made, with the understanding that the Dutchman was not to tell anyone. All went smooth until the next division day came, when our friend was early at hand to see how much better he would be off under the new bargain. Eleven barrels were rolled to one side for the oil men and one for him. This did not suit him. How's dish ? says he. '*1 think I was to get more as before. By jinks, you make mistake The matter was explained to him, that he formerly got one barrel of every eight, but it was his own proposition to only take one of every twelve. This revelation took him aback. He scratched his head, looked cross, and relieved his swelling breast of feelings of self-reproach by indignantly remarking—" Well, by dunder, dat ish de first time as ever I know'd eight was more as dwelve

THE MARKETS,

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DETECTIVES IN AUSTRIA. -

THE DEATH OF AZIZ PASHA.

THE FUTURE OF ENGLAND.

BIRDS' PRESERVATION ACT.