Llandudno Advertiser and List of Visitors

,Z-- THE MODERN SCROOGE. AN UP-TO-DATE XMAS STORY. OFALLAXDUDNO MAX. Seated by a well-made fire, in an ordin- ary lodging house sitting room, was the modern Scrooge. Xmastide to him had never appealed since he arrived a.u man's estate. It was, he averred, the most de- pressing period of the year, and coming as it did directly after a "No Change" elec- tion his morning a.nd evening papers had been more than usua ly devoid of in- terest. His landlady (he was a confirmed ba.cheJ.or) had just asked if he minded being 1.3ft alone in the hou&e for a short time, as she wanted to purchase Xmas presents. The "Modern Scrooge" growled out) a "No"; and settled himself down tohisusual avocation when his reading" was over, thinking. As a matt&r of fact, he was never happier than when he had made himself miserable by brooding over his pet aversion, Xmas festivities. He loathed all mention of carol singing, would have no holly hung up in his sitting-room, forbade any mince pies or plum puddings to be brought to his table, and voted the whole thing a, Pagan custom. It was whilst in this mood that his re- flections were disturbed by the entrance into his room, without knocking, of a complete stranger, a man who without introducing himself at once ingratiated himself into the good graces of this modern Scrooge by saying, ''I agree with your sentiments, which perhaps you are un- aware have been uttered aloud. And further, I would say the modern Christ- mas is dullness mixed with overfeeding and drinking." The Modern Scrooge was so delighted to find at last some one who saw eye to eye with him, that he never questioned the why and wherefore of his presence, but at once let himself go, and the stranger lis- tened whilst he iiaunched forth on the subject of "how the public beguiled them- selves into believing that Xmas was the "maddest, merriest time of all the year." They say there is a general jollity in the air, that goodwill prevails, and that peace and plenty are as much in evidence as the platitudes to this effect. They send each other cheerfully-worded Christmas cards, bearing sentiments wholly opposed to their real feelings, pretend to be glad to see each other, load themselves with extra expenses, exhaust their patience and purses in present-hunting, and generally find it is a time of disappointments. They expeat presents which never arrive, a.nd receive those that they don't want, and all at a time of the year when bills and rents become due." "I have tried, added the Modern Scrooge, "to escape by going away, but it is hopeless. By flood, or field, by road or rail, at home or abroad, there is no escape. Everybody regards r you with a hungry and expectant eye the awful r,Ara:n "Christmastime, please" .ere.et you everywhere, the outstretched -< palm rises almost automatically from aU points of the compass, and you are not supposed to find it in your heart to refuse, but I do and have done for years. Why should I overcome my family dislikes and bear with my most onensive relatives, children included, a.nd friends? A pleasantry contemporary with the holly and mistletoe, to say nothing of that monstrosity the Christmas Tree. "Bah!" ''I hate it, Its discomforts and expense are intolerable, and nothing will ever make me think otherwise." The Modern Scrooge on turning round after his tirade wa,s not a little surprised to find his visitor gone, and that in his place was a much a younger man, who on being appealed too, as to how Long he had been there, and where the other visitor had gone, replied, "I have heard all you have said. Your first visitor, Cynic, always departs when I arrive. My name is Referendum, and I have been sent to reply to your oft-expressed opinions." The Modern Scrooge had some hazy idea, from tJhe na,me given, that his visitor was an authority, and although at first he attempted to scowl him down he found himself listening to Referendum's re- marks, and answering the questions he put, without demur. Indeed he went so far as to admit that during the whole year he had not contributed a penny piece towards any charitable object, had not taken an Ebcte.ns.ion Concert ticket, been to no Sunday school tea parties, and his name was not upon the list of subscribers to the "Hot Pot" fund. When Referendum had discovered, 'by cross-questioning the Modern Scrooge, aJl he wanted to know, he said "What dis- tinguished man from the brute Is that men smile. You do it now so seldom that the distinct.ion hardly remains. The world is pining for laughter and joy, and every- one is slaving in the hope of arriving at both, but whilst they are pursuing, in will step your master and carry you off to that state where the only symptom of joy is the grin of a, Death's head. No one wi'll ever reach happiness. One must be possessed of it in the fleeting moments. Can you imagine a more ridiculous spectacle than the man-machine! like you, who thinks of nothing but his own peculiar work, b&ing bundled into a box, everyone glad to be rid of him?" "You must know that at your age you have little time left to make up for the past. The modern idea which has crept, thank God, into Christmas life, is not so much personal feasting and exhubera,nt jollity as a, desire to help someone else to to be joUy too. You read your papers, and must have seen that people are vicing witli each other in looking round for want to succour, distress to relieve, a.nd suffering to alleviate." "In addition to Hot Pots, the cripples and helpless poor children are being looked after. There are breakfasts for outcasts, dinners for the impecunious, suppers even for thieves, and coals and blankets for others. Christmas i.s im- proving so far as the methods of celebrat- ing it are concerned. That greatest of virtues, charity, prevails, and it is con- ducted into wise a,nd sensible channels. You will come. out with me to-night and learn one of the greatest pleasures of 1'fe, g'ene-.rosity. and you are going to do it cheerfully." The Modern Scrooge had quietly li:nc- ed to Referendum, and most of his re- marks had struck home. The g"rin of the death's head had scared him horribly. He felt he wanted to be up and doing', and Referendum nothing Loth encouraged his eagerness, I think, said the Modern Scrooge, I had better first of all send f!.r painters and paper-hangers to put th.'s room in order, it's in my terms of agree- ment, but I have been too mean. to do it. Right you are, said Referendum, I'll I 1 9 ring up by wireless, Hugh Edwards, it's a slack time in this line of business, and his men will be glad of something extra for Christmas, and why not call at Butter- Nvorth's and buy a new carpet and an easy chaiT 1 "Agreed," said the modern Scrooge, and he started on his pilgrimage of Christmas purchases. The display at Butterworth's was so attractive' that' it ended in a very substantial order being given, and paid for. From this estab- lishment, J- Roberts's, Cheltenham House, was the next call, and the Modern Scrooge, who was well-known to the pro- prietor by sight, .gave such an order for his landlady, her sister, cousins and aunts that made eve.n this gentleman used to shipping orders, in the wedding line, stare with astonishment. To Bevan Bros., ironmongers, the next visit was paid, and the Modern Scrooge found that he had full notes in his pocket book of all the articles his landlady had mentioned, from time to time, she was short of. Talik about your spring furnishing orders they weren't ia it, and at least three nvers changed owners. The, next house of call was R. E. Davia's greengrocers, and here the foundation of a real Christmas dinner was purchased. It was strange, but the modern Scrooge found himself walking into H. Higginbottom's, the modern honn of Guy Fa.wkes annoyances, and giving an order for nlled Christmas stockings, that only a few hours ago he was jeering at. Nor was this the end, he, remembered just in time that, no Christmas pudding is really complete without brandy for the flare up, and other purposes—say cases of emergency, so he hied him to G. F. and A. Brown's. A glance at the Clock told him that time was on the wing, and he hurried to R,. Roberts's, the County Councillor of that ilk, and judging by the order he gave here, a specia.l staff of errand boys would be required to carry the goods. He near- ly forgot that whilst he had purchased the sauce navouring he had forgotten the z7' pudding, and a.t the Cambridge he placed his order for this, and a Christmas Cake. with the wishes of the season, to say noth- ing of bon-bons and crfrkers. By tirs time it was reaching tl--gj hei';v;hhing hour when Mine Host declares i'b is closing time. and he had yet to call at Enoch Davis a.nd Sons. His errand was not fruitless, and if the turkey he bought would only go inside his landlady's oven, well. it would surprise him. The landlord of the Snowdon Hot.el had not expected such a, jovial spirit, and quite failed to discern, in his customer, the Modern Scrooge, about whoso meanness he had heard so much. Hie was generosity itself, and in addition to wishing all present "A Merry Christmas," left sumcient of tike needful to be placed to general account fund, and in due course the. Modern Scrooge's health was drunk. The Modern Scrooge never discovered when, and where, it was, that he lost "Referendum." He got back to his lodgings alright, and was just on the point of seeing what the decorators had done, when be wa,s disturbed by the shouting of a newsboy selling the "Lla.ndudno Adver- tiser." The "Modern Scrooge," his real name cannot, be divulged, found, after he had rubbed his eyes a, bit, that it was all a most realistic dream. He also found that he had Ibeen crying, for his cheeks were wet with tears. Tears of happiness. he has since confessed, from the fact that his old cynical feelings had left him en- tirely. He made a vow that night to mend his views. Referendum, he says, was the voice of the people, the Cynic was hi,s other self, and he shuddered when he remembered the "Death's head grin." The Modern Scrooge has been better than his word, not only has he mended his ways, but he is endeavouring to make up for lost time. As he says, "It takes a bit of doing, but I'm not. weary of it yet." If you look .carefully in the list of sub- scribers to the Handudno Hot Pot Fund you will find his name, but it's not Modern Scrooge. He will also recite in his own circle this Christmas the follow- ing verses, which he has leaj'nt of by heart, and says they sum up the whole morality and philosophy of the Christmas season: Amidst the freezing steet and snow, The timid robin comes; In pity drive him not away, But scatter out your crumbs. And leave, your dooc upon the latch For whosoever comes; The poorer they, more welcome give, And scatter out your crumbs. AH have to spare, none are too poor, Where wa.nt. with winter comes The loaf is never all your own, Then scatter out the crumbs. Soon winter faH.s upon your life, The day of reckoning comes; Aa-ainst your sins by high decree, Are weighed those scattered crumbs.

Professor Mr Fussem, what tense is 'T loveF Mr Fussem (looking at the girl with the knowing eyes): Intense CJ

CHRISTMAS DONT'S. If your hostess gives you two mince- pies and asks you which you like better, don't give a definite answer. You don't know which one she made herself. If you are in bed, and you are disturb- ed after midnight by a cracked voice singing "Christians, Awake" under your window, don't hastily empty the water- jug over the warbler. Instead of "the waits," it might he a fellow lodger coming home from a Yule- tide festival. Despite the superstition that you will have a month's good luck for every mince- pie you eat, don't consume twelve at one sitting. Don't embrace another man's girl under the mistletoe. Even though such harmless fun is lieense,d at the, festive season, some men are apt to get absurdly annoyed about it. Even if the weather is frosty, you might find it too warm for you. Printed' a.nd Published by the PToprit<J!tll, 'Fra.nk Edge and Alec G. Moy, a, .e "Advertiser" Priintmg Works, Market Street, LlaiLdudno.

.¡ Who Needs CARRAC.OL ? Thousands and thousands need the help that Carragol can give. All those who are too prone to catch cold," who have severe coughs frequently, and to whom winter is a depressing succession of petty illnesses, need it. So also do those who have weakness of the chest: bronchitis and the like-and those we are predisposed to lung troubles. TAKE IT FOR COUGHS. Sold in Bottles at 1/ 2/- and 3/9, by Post, 1/3, 2/4. and 4(2 By the Sole Manufacturer JOSEPH W)!<TER & CO., Chemists, Llandudqo. .¡;iI' __L.