Llandudno Advertiser and List of Visitors

-=.; waLW WXX33 i -g- Ir A H V T '^ADVERTISER 1"" .A..N:D PILOT OFFICES MARKET ST., LLANDTI DNO,, WILL BE FOUND THE Largest and lost Up-to-date Printing Plant in the District, I ENGLISH AND WELSH PRINTING OF EVERY DESCRIPTION AT MODERATE PRICES. f: p Having the Largest Staff of comuetent Men, we can execute work entrusted to us expeditiously and in a manner guaranteed to give satisfaction. Ask for a quotation for Advertising in the í mill iwmisi;. Published on Saturday morning, or in the PitoT Published on Wednesday. r IT WILL PAY YOU. Advertiser and Pilot Offices, Street, ZiLANDimKra

WILL B LUFF'S LETTER. Dere Pal,'—'Mrs- Vicktor Andrie kon- pluded her vissit to this town on Sater- dai, and durin her stay lots of peepul found things wot had been thort lost sud- denlie returned, wot the skipper calls promiskuss. Othur peepul wot ave lost rellertives for yeres1 ave been told they will see them return this Krismas in time to the fatted karf, rabbit, or chips and fish as the ka-se may be. Everriei- boddiie iis sayin how klever it, is and thait it is a fake. Well, aftur a long diskus- sion of the Pilot krew, it as been desided that it i's a gift of sekkond site, bekaws if it was a fake it wood be much more klever, than it is. This weak is the annuwil triaclesmen's supper, when the leadin lites of learnin after sattisfyin the inner-man, wiU hold fourth on the adva-ntidges of livin at Llandudno, apart from the seenerie, wich is wot they kail u-neek. It is a meetin of rivals in traido who for the time bein fly the wife flag) and wear the black tie, wot is kalled in some sirkles a laundriie eggsherbishun; it is also a time when some peepul say to much and others don't say enuff, and also a meetin were the feemail suffridge is a sekkonderrie kon- siderashun, but thur aihsense maiks the harts grow fondutr, andi it is an eggskuse for anuthur kind smile, and it is generalise one of the okkashuns when a full house is rekkorded by the lanlord and liftul Marie. I must konklude, as we are verrie bizzie fraingin for wireless telegraffic in the koming genral leckshun, the r ssult of wich is by no meens a walk-ovur, in fackt it's the' biggest puzzul of resent konsepshun. Yoors independentlie, WILiLi B LUFF.

THEI BORES) (GET BUSY. Just at present the bores are having the time of their lives. They clutch other men by the button as persistently as the anciient mariner held the unhappy wed ding- gu est. There is a horrible fascination in the scene when two, bores meet and each be- gins to "argue" with the other. If you watcih them you w?ill soon see that, neither really listens to what the other is saying,. Very often they are both talking at the same' time, but even if one keeps silent while the other speaks you can see at a glance that the silent one is not paying the least attention to the other. He is mentally reciting to himself his next sentence, which, when it is uttered, will be found to have no connection, direct or remote, with that which has just been said.—Si, L Hughes in "London Opinion.'

NORTH WALES CANDIDATES. Montgomeryshire, South Carnarvon, and the Carnarvon Boroughs are how the only North Wales seats for which no Unionist candidate ha,s been selected. The Unionist candidates for other con- stituencies are Mr R. O. Roberts, Anglesey; Mr A. E. Hughes, Arfon; East Denbigh, Mr D. Rhys; West Den- bigh, Mr Si. Thompson; Flintshire, Colonel Howard; Merioneth, Mr R. Jones-Morris; Denbigh Boroughs, the Hon. W. Ormsby-Gore; Mint Boroughs, Mr H. A. T'ilby; and Montgomery Boroughs, Colonel Pryce-Jones. With the exception of Mr Williams Idris (Flint Boroughs) and Slir Osmond Williams (Merioneth) the present members will again be the candidates. Sir Osmond Williams's successor will be, Mr Haydn Jones and Mr Idris's Mr J. W. Summers.

THE LATEI MR. HARRY CLEGG. At Bangor, on Tuesday, Mr H. C. Vin- cent, magistrates' clerk, at the requesct of the Chairman, read a leitter from Mr Rowland Clegg, eldest son, of the late Mr Harry Clegg, acknowledging the vote of condolence passed by the magistrates at their last meeting. Mr Clegg added that the sad and terrible blow which had so suddenly -come upon them had been con- siderabUy lightened by the sincere sym- pathy they had received from all quarters. They also derived great consolaition from the knowledge that Mr Harry Clegg suffered no pain, and never conceiived that he was really ill. Mrs Clegg! was giralduaOy regaining strength, and was downstairs the other day for the first 1ime in the last few weeks.

A MAID SERVANT'S THEFT. A respectable lookting woman, 21 years of age, was charged on Monday at Con- way with si tea-ling a gold ring, the pro- perty of Mr T. '0. Morgan, managing clerk at the County Court Office. The evidence was to the effect that the de- fendant was employed as a domestic ser- vant by Mr Morgan at his house, Pant- graianog. She left suddenly, and the ring, valued ait P,3, was missed. A police constable went to her father's house, at Tad Newydd, Tynygroes, where he saw her with the ring on her finger. Mr Mor- gan said he had a reference with the girl when he engaged her. Her aged father agreed to become surety for her future good conduct, and she was bound over in the, sum of JB20.

A SCENE ON THE GRAND CANAD; VENICE!, painted by a famous artist, has been realisti- cally reproduced in colours, and published as an Almanac by W H. and F. J. Horniman and Co., Ltd., the well- knownt,ea firm, and is being given away by over 30,000 retailers throughout the kingdom. What could be more accept- ablie as a gift than a tin of Horniman's Pure Tea and an artistic Almanack? Sold in Llandudno by—T. and R. D. Jo-nesi Grocers, Oxford Road; H. and J. Owen, The Steam Bakery; Piarry and Son, Corner of Pleasant and Victoria Streets; Roberts, 37, Mostyn Street; W. G. Williams, Upper Mostyn Street; Llandudno Junc- tion—by T. Jones, Grocer, Post-office,

f^UN, FACTS, AND ANCIES. £ INTERESTING FACTS. Milan Cathedral can seat 3,700 people. Rats in the Bermudas often build their nests in trees. It takes 3,000 silkworms to spin sufficient silk to make a lady's dress. Horseshoes made from sheep's horn are said to be much safer than iron ones. It is estimated that the thinnest part of a soap-bubble is only 1-156,000th of an inch in thickness. There is a lighthouse to every 14 miles of coast in England, to every 34 miles in Ireland, and to every 39 miles in Scotland. A curious Chinese custom consists in throwing thousands of small pieces of paper, each in- scribed with a prayer, into the ocean, when a friend is about to sail. The cold of Siberia, is so great in winter that many kinds of provisions are kept by simple freezing. In the markets are to be seen frozen chicken, partridge, and other game thrown to- gether in heaps. Butchers' meat defies the knife, and some of the salesmen place their animals in fantastic positions before freezing them. East Frisia can certainly boast of the smallest railway in the world. Its entire, length is only railway in the world. Its entirelength is only five miles, and the breadth only two and a half feet. It employs the huge staff of one guard, one engine driver, one fireman, and only one platelayer. The vast amount of J34 10s. is paid in wages every week. It has two engines, three carriages, four trucks, and a couple of vans. The engine and tender together only weigh seven tons. The fares are in proportion to the size of the company, and average threepence-half. penny all the way." ♦ DONE FOR A PENNY. U Do you know where Johnny Locke lives, my little boy ?" asked a gentle-voiced old lady. U He ain't home, but if you give me a penny I'll find him for you right off," replied the lad. a All right: you're a nice little boy. Now, where is he?" Thanks—I'm him." ♦ BILL INSIDE. William Kean, who keeps a shop in a certain town in the south of Ireland, is always known as Bill to his immediate friends. Last sum- mer he went to Dublin to order a stock of goods. The goods were sent on immediately, and reached home before he did. When the boxes were de- livered at his shop by the carter his wife hap- pened to look at the largest. She uttered a loud cry, and called for a hammer. A neighbour, hearing the screams, rushed to her assistance, and asked what was the matter. The wife, pale and faint, pointed to an in- scription on the box, which read as follows:— Bill inside." THE DOG IN MANCHURIA. Everywhere is the dog the friend of man, but in Manchuria he is more strictly the friend of woman. There the dowry of a young woman does not consist of hard cash, as in Europe, but in a certain number f sleek dogs with thick fur or silken hair. The girl's status may almost be guessed by her wedding portion of dogs. If she receives six she is poor; if a dozen her parents are in easy circumstances; and if 12 dozen it may be take i that she comes from a rich family. They are carefully fattened for their savoury flesh, and their skins after death become coverlets, pelisses, vests for hunters, or bedside carpets, which scarcely ever wear out. Even to its fur the devotion of the dog is warm and lasting. *■ A VALUABLE CARPET. A small carpet in the San Francisco Mint is worth more than its weight in gold. nsd is to be burned in order that the precious metal filings that have been sprinkling it for several years may be recovered. The carpet is in the adjusting room, where files are used to trim sur- plus gold from coins after they are stamped. It frequell f' happens that a piece of overweight falls to the floor and becomes embedded in the grain of the carpet, and it is nothing unusual for the Government to get five thousand dollars' worth of gold dust out of the ashes resulting from the burning of one of the floor coverings. The floor sweepings are treasured with the utmost care, as they furnish enough money to pay the salary of the janitor several times over. 0 PEACE ON EARTH. The shivering carol singers had just selected a pitch beneath a lamp in a back street, when a small boy emerged from a house opposite and beckoned mysteriously to their leader. Mother says you're to sing something loud, he whispered. "That bit about r Peace on earth will do fine! She don't want no others. Ju=t you go on hollering 'Peace on earth. For ten minutes the willing minstrels yelled their loudest. Then a little woman, armed with a copper saucepan, appeared upon the scene. Thanks!" she said, handing the collector sixpence. Thit Peace on earth 'as done it beautiful! My ol' man went to fetch the turkey 'e won in a raffle to-night, an' comin' 'ome made one or two calls an' lorst it; so I've jest been a-teachin' 'im to be more careful, and didn't want none o' the neighbours to interfere when 'e 'ollered f Murder!' • -♦ EQUAL TO THE OCCASION. Private Podger was new to sentry duty, and felt out of his element in such an unfamiliar role. Soon he became both hungry and tired, and a sympathetic comrade handed him a sand- wich, which Podger at once began to eat. The major came upon the sentry while he was regaling himself, but, as the officer was in mufti, Podger did not recognise him. What's that?" demanded the officer. a A sandwich," replied Podger. "Won't you have a bit?" The major at once saw the humorous possi- bilities of the situation. "Do you know whom I am?" he proceeded good-naturedly. Don't know you from Adam. Perhaps you're the major's 'coachey'?" No, I'm not." His groom, perhaps?" Try again." "Perhaps the old chap himself?" Right this time." Oh, goodness!" exclaimed the sentry. "Hold this sandwich while I present arms ♦ STAGE SOUNDS. Of all sounds behind the stage, wind is the easiest to produce. The wind-machine is the most reliable of all the complicated theatre machinery." In small theatres there are generally no wind-machines at all. The stage- manager simply goes behind and works on the back of the curtain with a big bamboo cane. The result is a sound which fairly well repre-- sents wind. Closely allied to wind, and as com- monly in demand, is the sound of rain. In many theatres the rain-machine takes the form of a long, narrow box, within which little ledges are nailed. Peas are placed inside the box. If this apparatus be lifted slant wise the peas roll slowly over the ledge, and a rattling sound not unlike falling rain, is produced. The roar of the sea is usually a combination of the wind and rain machines. For the thunderclap which follows a flash of lightning, an arrangement called a U thunder-plate" is used. This consists of a long, slender plate which hangs loose on a string, and is set working at the lower end. For rolling, distant thunder, there is a gigantic, kettledrum covered with an ass's skin, and worked with two beaters. WILLING TO OBLIGE. It was the occasion of the annual smoker, and one of the company was repeatedly requested to ting. In vain he protested, but the ywouldn't take no. So he got on his feet at last and ;aid: Well, I will sing yer a song, but I dinna knaw the beginning, I dinna knaw the end, and I've forgot the tune, but I'll talk the words."

WHERE IS THE DOG? At, Conway on Monday, Arthur Potts, of Rhos-on-Sea, was charged with being illegally at the North-Western Hotel, Llandudno Junction, on Sunday, Novem- ber 7th, at 9 15 p.m. Police Constable Williams said he found the defendant in the room behind the bar. Having seen him there almost every Sunday, the witness asked him what business it was that brought him in Z-1 that direction almost every Sunday. At first Potts said he had brought a pony to try to sell it. Then he said he had come to meet a veterinary surgeon, whose name he gave. Afterwards he stated that he had broken a pony for a Deganwy gentleman. Asked where the pony was, he replied that the gentleman had taken it away, and later on he said he did not know who the gentleman was. The officer then told him that if he could not; give a reasonahle explanation of his business there every Sunday he would be reported as not a bona-fide traveller. Eventually Potts returned to Colwvn Bay by the mail train at half-past nine. The defendant I was drinking a glass of beer when the officer came in. I had walked from Colwyn Bay, and wanted re- freshment. I had: walked to Talyca-fn to look for a. dog which I had lost, and I walked from Talyca-fn to Llandudno Junc- tion, thinking I would probably see some- one at the Junction H-o ted who would tell me something about it. There were seven or eight others there from Colwyn Bay, and had I to tell my business before them all? I do not consider that I had. As a matter of fact, early in the morning I had a pony that was very lame, and I wanted it unnerved, and I thought I would come to Llandudno Junction to look for the dog, and see the veterinary surgeon if he called there. or go on to Conway.. Why does the policeman tackle me. and not the other Colwyn Bay men ? Deputy Chief Constable Rees Do you come to look for a dog every Sunday? (Laughter.) The Defendant: No. The Deputy Chief Constable You have been going there every Sunday. The defendant: Excuse me; I don't. I was not there yesterday.-(Laughtr.) I was a, bona-fide traveller, on business. The Deputy Chief Constable (address- ing the Bench) If it an occasional Sunday, I would take no notice of it; but this man makes a practice of com- ing every Sunday. The defendant was fined 2s. 6d. and costs.

PROSPECTIVE. Dec. 11.—Y.M.C.A. Jumbl?- Sale in the Cocoa House, Mostyn Street. Dec. 14.—St. Paul's Literary Society Sociafi Evening. Dec. 15.—Smoking Concert in connection with the Craigydon Mutual Improve- ment Society at, the Craigydon Board- ing Establishment. Dec. IS-Annual Tea and Concert in con- nection with Shiloh Chapel. Dec. 18.—Hockey Match: East v. West, on the Llandudno Cricket Ground. Dec. 17.—Craigydon Mutual Improve- ment, Society, paper by "Abraham Lincoln" by Mr R. Drury. Dec. 22.Dloid Street Boys' School Concert and Prize Meeting. Jan. I.-Cala-ii Concert in the Town Hall Jan 6.—Supper in the Deganwy Street Schoolroom. Jan. 12.—Parochial Tea in the Town Hall. Jan. 15 to 23,-Convention in the Town Hall. Jan. 26.-Annual Tea and Entertain- ment in connection with the Catholic Church, at the Town Hall. Jan. 26.—Lecture by the Rev. Gwyn- fryn Jones in the Tabernacl Welsh Baptist Chapel. March 1.—Eisteddfod Dydd Gwyl Dewi. Forthcoming Ervents inserted in this column free of charge, in order to avoid the clashing of dates.

NORTH WALES HOCKEY ASSOCIATION. TEAMS FOR EAST v. WEST. MATCH AT LLANDUDNO. The Selection Committee of the North Wales Hockey Association at Rhyl on Friday selected the following players for the East. v. West hockey match, which will be played; at Llandudno on Saturday, December 18th: North-east Wafl.es: Goal, J. Vincent (Buckley) left back, W. Marsden (Buckley); right back, El. H. Capper (Wrexham); left half, A. M. Powell (Newtown); centre half, G. Parry-Jones (Ruthin); right half, F. J. Whitehouse (Wrexham) centre forward, Dr. M. Davies (Old Colwyn); left inside, W. Price Jones Old Colwyn); flight- inside, H A. Grey (Wrexham); left outside, H. A. Charles (Wrexahm); right outside, J. Owen (Ruabon). Captain F. J. White- house; vice captain, G. Parry-Jones; umpire, W. Gunner (Rhyl); liaesman, E. B. Jones (Rhyi). North-west Wales Goal, M. H. Parry (Bangor Normal); left back, W. D. Hen- derson (Llandudno) right back, Charles Jones (Llandudno); right- half back, Ernest Parry (Llandudno); centre half, Alyn R. Owen (Carnarvon); left half, F. LL Davies (Bangor University); centre forward, T. Phillips (Holyhead); left in- side, W. Roberts (Portmadoc) right, in- side, W. Bai'ley (Llandudno); left out- side, Edglar Bone (Llandudno); right outside, W. H. Owen (Holyhead). Cap- tain, Charles Jones (Llandudno); vice captain, Edgar Bone (Llandudno); umpire, H. V. Doughty Davies; lines- man, H. 0E2. Robeflts. Seedy Gentleman (to butcher) "You say you have cuts to suit all purses. What sort of a cut have you for an empty purse 1" Bucher (running him out) "The eold shoulder, to be sure."

DEATH OF A COACH PROPRIETOR. The death took place on Sunday night at Colwyn Bay of Mr Edwin Jones, formerly the proprietor of an extensive stage-coach business. In the early days of Colwyn Bay Mr Edwin Jones was well known to' thousands of visitors, and his coach tours were so popular that he realised a fortune and was able to retire. He was a native of Llanfair, Vale of Chvyd, and the funeral took place in the churchyard there on Wednesday after- noon. The funeral cortege proceeded to the Vale of Clwyd, by road from Colwyn Bay, over the route that Mr Jones knew so well.

Beautiful Gowns.—For elder ladies black velvet and yelveieen is a good deal allied to jet, which is at present very much in vogue. Where it "-Is introduced the colour scheme is beet kept entirely black, and only a little lace (if any) used. I Rich brocades are having a. revival in Paris, and are becoming to a handsome, statuesque type; but to the average woman they decidedly add years as well as dignity. As far as material goes some of them are extremely beautiful, however, notably those in rich, creamy white, with a design of gold or silver flowers powder- ed over them. As a, bootblack was passing a principal street in a Midland town. he picked up a stump of a cigar from t he gutter and went into the bar of a public-house and aske6. for a match. He was met with the reply "We don't keep matches to give away." The bootblack started out, but stopped at the door, turned back, and asked the barman, "Do you sell 'em1" He purchased a box, paid his penny, and lighed his stump; after which he closed the box and asked the barman to put it on the shelf, and said "Next time a gem'an asks yer for a match, give 'im one out o' my box." "I say, Jack," said William, "whilst in a restaurant the other day I noticed two fathers and two sons at lunch. The charge being 9d. per head, what do you think the bill totalled? Now, think the matter over carefully." "'Well, there is no difficulty in that bill; why, of course, alIsNi-ered Jack promptly. "You are wrong, Jac-k. The bill amounted to only 2s. 3d." "How do you account for that 1" "Why. there were only three persons- father, son, and grandfather. Three at 9d. per head is 2s. 3d." There will be two guessing competi- tions at the Bier Varieties Theatre this week.