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Colwyn Bay Musical Season.

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Llanrwst Board of Guardians.

" His Pets Defeated."

...--.-.r--North Wales Travellers.

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-----------------Conway Board…

The Cayley Estate, Colwyn…

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Sad Death of a Retired Welsh…

Abergele Sparks.

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Abergele Sparks. A FUNERAL SERMON." I am much indebted to a Dinas Mawddwy friend for a copy of an extraordinary" fun- eral sermon preached by one David Morgan, Rector of Llanymawddwy, same- time in the eighteenth century, the occasion being the death of the squire of the parish. The original manuscript of this wonderful discourse is carefully preserved in the British Museum. Here it is, without the alteration of a single word or punctuation:- "Good people of Llanymawddwy, my dear beloved brethren we are met here to- day for a great preachment-a preachment for a dead body—the dead body of good Squire Thomas, the squire of our parish. We did all love him, although he had scold- ed us shocking; but he is dead now—as dead as a door nail; yes, indeed, for I did see him with my own two eyes, before they screwed him up." (It is explained here that the Bible having been lost, the text was taken from the four and twentieth chapter of Maccabeus). Then the sermon proceeds Well, indeed I have forgotten the number of the verse, but I do know the words—I do know them in three language. I do know them in the Latin language—it is the langu- age of all learned people. I do know them in the English language—it is the language of all genteel people: I do know Watch and Pray." I do know them in the Welsh language—of course it is the language of all vulgar people. Now I will stick to my text I will indeed. Our rrandfather Adam was a very good old man, and he was a very happy old man until he had a wife. He did live in the garden of Paradise. He did want for nothing there, for everything did grow into his own hand. He did want for neither basin nor spoon. Talk about gardens, there was gardens for you The garden of Squire Thomas was nothing to and you know that has four walls, and it would take 20,000 of Squire Thomases to make such a garden of Paradise. All sorts of trees did grow there,—plum trees, gooseberry trees, straw- berry trees, pear trees ind apple trees. Talk about apple ."umplings! And you men of Llanymawddwy do boast of your apple dumplings as if there was no apples in the world like them, and indeed to goodness they are very good, only they want a little more st.gar; but if you had apples from the garden of Paradise you would want not sugar at all. Well I. did tell that he did marry a wife, our old grandfather and Oh! there was a beautiful woman for you there was a fine figure and there was hair, but it did grow all over her head and down her back she did we.ar it all sort of shapes she wore it like a tower of Babel on her head, a.nd it was all her own hair. Still she was a very peculiar woman. She wanted to know everything—things she ought not to know; and, Oh! women of Llanymawddwy she did go about the garden, and what did happen to her? She did get with the devil, and the devil aid teach her all sorts of things, and persuade her to go and rob the orchard and to eat the apple every bit of it, pppin and all, and then the devil did per- suade her to put one in her pocket, and taRe it home for her husband, and he did obey his wife like a good man. Well, after this, she had two brave boys: but one was a bad boy—an unlawful rogue like his mother. He did concern with the devil, the devil did tempt him to kill his own brother and this was the cause of all the mischief in the world It did bring lawyers into the world— all the constables in the world—all the ex- cisemen—people who go prying about after a drop of good liquor, but there never was a drop of good liquor afterwards. Mind you do not go to the alehouse it is very bad there he did go and drink all day there, and come home at night and abuse his childien, like what you do William Thomas, and the same as you did last Saturday night. Well, I did tell you about judgments com- ing into the world. Remember this,—there will be one great day of judgement, and the parson of Llanjraawddwy will be asked as to the sheep in his possession. I will speak the truth plump and plain. I will say there is no sheep, you are all turned goats with shaggy hair all over, for you have never given the tithe wool from the very day I have been here till now." After seriously pondering over this touch- ing sermon for ten minutes and fifty-nine seconds, I came to the conclusion that I had missed my vocation. SEARCHLIGHT.

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