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OmGI OF PETROLEUM.
OmGI OF PETROLEUM. There are three theories on the origin of petroleum. Berthelot and Mendeleff consider it inorganic, and formed by condensation under a pressure of the gas engendered by the action of steam on metallic carbides. German chemists think it organic, and produced from generation, or from animals. Thus Kramer believes it a result of the decomposition of the wax in cells of diatoms found in Jakes, and Engler from the decomposition of fishes. He states that he has drawn petroleum froir, the bivalve fossils in the lias beds of Rothmasch,
- HINTS FOR THE HOME.
HINTS FOR THE HOME. To cut warm bread or cake use a sharp knife dipped in hot water to make it warm, and warm bread will cut easily. PICKLES should be well salted in strong brine, or they will be tasteless and insipid. Better have too much than too little salt. Add a little alum; it makes the pickles crisp, while horseradish and nasturtium-seeds prevent the vinegar from becoming muddy. A ETC FOR BAI Y. Although a baby should be allowed to lie on the floor and kick about his little limbs as much as he likes, care should be taken that he always lies upon a shawl or a rug, otherwise draughts coming up from the boards may give him a chill. Many a child has catight a severe cold through playing about on the lloor with no extra rug as a protection. An old blanket or a stout rug should always be kept in the nur ery for the purposes alluded to. TRAINING CHILDREN. Great tact should be used when training the character of a child who is subject to violent fits of temper. Wrong treatment very often leads to obstinacy. The tactful mother will frequently succeed in her aim by turning the child's attention away from the subject of dispute, and he will, perhaps, unconsciously be drawn into performing the very thing he has opposed. To openly enforce is often the very worst treatment that can be given. Hardly any two children can be managed alike. TO BE HEALTHY. Sufferers from bad circulation in any form should avoid sitting over the fire. Never leave a warm room and stand talking at an open door; the sudden change of atmosphere is bound to induce a chill. In damp weather a light woollen wrap worn so as to cover the mouth will effectually prevent any danger to the lungs or throat. Never laugh at or tease a nervous temperament; firm yet gentle treatment should always be given to a neurotic patient. Boiling water sipped slowly is a splendid antidote to indigestion. A little lemon-juice may be added to this simple remedy, if desired. All food should be eaten slowly; hasty mastication will cause indigestion quite as quickly as a heavy meal. AN IDEAL HOSTESS. A woman may possess wealth untold, she may have the kindest and brightest of minds, but unless she has absolute control of her feelings there will be some time in her career as hostess that she will display annoyance or flurry, and the contagion spreading to her guests will cause an otherwise ..4t.ssful entertainment to die out in undisguised failure. "model hostess must, to all appearances, be made of stone, so far as disagreeable happenings are concerned. Even though a guest or careless waiter inadvertently breaks a bit of china which can never be replaced, she must smile on as though the loss of the entire set would but emphasise the pleasure of the evening. Her well-bred calm inspires her guests with a feeling of confidence, and though in her heart she may be very dubious about certain important details of her dinner or dance, if she does not shew her anxiety everything will pass off to a happy conclusion. A flurried hostess or nervous host whose coun- tenance but badly conceals the worry felt, can do more towards making the guests uncomfortable than if the soup were served stone cold and the salad dressing were ruined by a too bountiful quantity of vinegar. An imperturbable calm and a ready tact are the two important factors in the making of an ideal hostess. Secure these by hook or crook, and you need never fear for the success of any of your entertainments. EVERY BOY AND GIRL SHOCLD [IE ABLE TO— Write a good, legible hand. Spell all the words in ordinary use. Know how to use these words. Speak and write good English. Write a good social letter. Add a column of figures rapidly. Make out an ordinary account. Receipt it when paid. Write an ordinary promissory note. Reckon the interest or discount on it for days, months and years. Draw an ora" ary bank cheque. Take it to the proper place in a bank to get the cash. Make neat and correct entries in day-book and ledger. Tell the number of yards of carpet required for the parlour. Tell something about the laws of health and what uo in case of emergency. Know how to behave in public and society. Be able to give the great general principles of religion. Have a good knowledge of the Bible. Have sufficient common sense to get along in the world. DANGERS OF KISSING. Children should be carefully instructed and have it early impressed upon their minds to give and receive kisses only to and from those they love and who love them. Even then some restraint is obligatory upon adults who are not perfectly well, and in the case of a man who uses tobacco. Children and adults are alike subject to contagious and infectious diseases lrom kissing, and this possibility should be a caution against the fashion of promiscuous kissing. Several cases of smallpox resulted from this indiscriminate kissing of a lady who was thought to be only slightly ailing. Do not express your sympathy for the sick by kissing. Parents should never allow their children to be kissed by strangers, and children should be pro- hibited from kissing each other. Influenza, or the epidemic form cf catarrhal fever, is undoubtedly transferred frcm one child to another oftentimes by the contact of kissing. Scarlet fever, measles, chicken pox, whooping cough, mumps and diphtheria are often communicated in this way. SOMB USES OTR LEMONS. A glass of hot lemon and water taken before going to bed will cure a cold. A cup of strong coffee, with a teaspoonful of lemon-juice instead of milk, will cure a sick head- ache. The careful cook knows how to prize both the juice and the rind of lemons. The juice can frequenty be used instead of vinegar, and is far better to take with and squeeze over oysters than vinegar. Whenever a sightly sharp flavour is required, use lemon-juice. Fome apples, when etewed, are rather flavcur]f>ss, but if cooked with & shred or two of lemon-rind and some juice squeezed into them they will bo vastly improved. Chapped hands can be softened and whitened by applying lemon-juice. However, it should not be used every day. as it is apt then to dry the skin too much. Applied to the face once or twice a week it prevents wrinkles. The finger-nails can be rubbed with lemon-juice to whiten them. Place a few slices of lemon in the washstand ewer, or in the bath-tub. They will soften and perfume the water delightfully. NICE DISHES. SCOTCH WOODCOCK.—Have ready some slices of buttered toast Spread a layer of good anchovy paste on each. Arrange them on a hot dish, and keep hot while you prepare the following: Put two raw yolks of eggs into a small pan with four table- spoonfuls of cream, loz. of butter, and a dust of cayenne pepper. Stir over the fire with a wooden spoon till the mixture is creamy, add a little chopped parsley, then pour over the toast. Serve verv hot. PARIS PuDr-iNfi.— Mix lib. of raisins, lib. of suet (finely chopped), £ lb. of fine brendcrumbs, four well-chopped figs, ioz. of mixed spice, two table- spoonfuls of sugar, one glass of sherry or brandy, four eggs (weil whisked), and the rind of half a lemon chopped fine. When mixed thoroughly, put into a greared mould or basin. Tie over with a cloth which has been dipped in boiling water, wrung out and flo.ured. Boil for seven hours, and serve with wine feu" sauce. APRICOT SANDWICH'S.—Whip three large eggs, the yolks and whites 'together, with 3cz. of sifted sugar, for ten minutes; then add the mixture to 301.. of well-dried and1 si t'ted self-raising flour, and whip again for five minutes. Grease a flat, shallow tin very thickly, or else line it with buttered paper. Bake in a fairly quick oven for seven or eight minutes, then leave till col,1. When cool cut into fngers split each linger in two, spread liberally with apricot jam, ice the topS and serve. If liked. these sandwiches may also .be decorated with a lattice work of strips of angelica and glace cherries. HAMILTON PUDDING.—Line cJ. pie-dish with a good short crust, and cover the bottom with a layer of apricot jam. Then fill up witli.'the following mixture. Cream 3oz. of butter with same quantity of castor sugar, then add the yolks of two well-beaten eggs and the white of one. Sift in by degrees 3oz. of flour, and flavour with a few tii'ops of vanilla essence. Bake in a moderate oven, and when nearly cooked beat the remainv"Sf white of egg to a stiff froth, and lay it on tIF" top in rough lumps. Return lie pudding to the ov en till it is slightly browned, *i •' •<; l., in: I. from allocking v.ouii^v hya, ferret. The London and Sou. Wr j,U-rn Kaihvay Company havf under cons;ruction a po'.vcrml motor-car, which will shortly be e:< ^X'rinicnted With in order to see whether the road P.1c.tor-car can be profitably utilised in affording i:;cn transit facilities in districts served by the SouJ-h-Wcntem Railway.
ETHER FOR ENGINES.
ETHER FOR ENGINES. Ether is more volatile than water, and its use in engines has often been tried, but without practical success. The difficulty ha been to inven a goorl generator, but it is now said to be overcome by M. Desvignes de Malapert, who has applied it not only to power engines but- motor-cars. A generator of the kind, weighing only one hundred and twenty kilogrammes, can supply an engine of one hundred horse-power, so that we are, perhaps, at the begin- ning of a revolution in engineering.
LL{¡XOITr CF URANIUM.
LL{¡XOITr CF URANIUM. The radio-activity of uranium salts is found by H. Becquerel to bo substantially the same at the cold of liquid air as at ordinary temperatures up to lOOdcg. When uranium nitrate or platinocyamde is plunged into liquid air or liquid hydrogen it becomes luminous, as it does again on being restored to the ordinary temperature, the luminosity being seen only during the heating or cooling. The immersed crystal :1.:S0 emits a luminescence as it impinges on the giass of the vessel. The pheno- mena are supposed to Ie electrical effects, and due to compressions and cleavages in the crystal.
CARBURETTED ACKTVLCNK.
CARBURETTED ACKTVLCNK. Important advantages are claimed for the process of diluting acetylene by passing it through a volatile hydrocarbon. like petroleum, ether, or gasolene,with exclusion of air. The gas thus carburetted seems to overcome the difficult ies of acetylene incandes- cent lighting, as it heats the mantle without, depositing soot, and does not shew the tendency of pure acetylene to recoil into the burner, while it gives much cheaper illumination than any other acetylene light. The explosiveness of the acetylene is materially lessened, while it is made more avail- able for use in gas engines.
SOLDER FOR ALUMINIUM STILL…
SOLDER FOR ALUMINIUM STILL WANTED. Much as it has been sought, a satisfactory solder for aluminium is reported to be still wanting. The difficulties are due to the rapid cooling of the joint through the high heat conductivity of aluminium, and to corrosion by galvanic action between the aluminium and the metals of the solder. Mixtures of zinc and tin that appear to adhere firmly are loosened after a few months by this corrosion. Heating the joint during soldering may overcome one difficulty, but solder containing sufficient, aluminium to prevent galvanic action cannot be melted with the soldering iron.
PUREST IIWS ORE IN THE WOULD.
PUREST IIWS ORE IN THE WOULD. For centuries the Dannemora iron ore mines in Sweden have been to the iron-maker what Mecca is to the Mohammedan, it is there that the purest iron ore commercially known to man exists. The operating company, says Cassier's Magazine, is a close corporation, and the ore is sold to no one out- side of it; that is, the owners all possess iron or steel producing plants, and obtain from tiue.se mines part of their supplies. They limit the production to 50,000 tons per annum. The ore is magnetite, with an average of 50 per cent, of metal lie iron, and the mino has been operated for at least four hundred years.
THE NATURE OF PLAGUE.
THE NATURE OF PLAGUE. The germ of the plague, says Dr. Andrew Wilson. was discovered by Kitasato in 18S4. and indepen- dently in the same year by Yersin. whose protective serum is used as a preventive. The genu is a some- what shortened and rounded bacillus, that flourishes at a temperature approaching that, of the blood. Apparently the germ docs not multiply by giving olf "spore3" or seed-like bodies, but by simple division of the parent-germs into others. It is easily killed. A temperature of 212deg. F. destroys it quickly, and acids also act efficiently in this direction. Yersin found the plague-germ living in the soil in affected places. In the earth it appears to Ue non-virulent, but placed in another environ- ment, say the animal body, it speedily develops its disease-producing powers. Cows, sheep, pigs. cats, and, of course, rats are affected by it. but the dog is said to enjoy an immunity frolll the attentions of this bacillus. Gaining- access to the body, through the skin for the most part, and probably through some abrasion or wound, the bacilli make for the glands, and as these swell and enlarge, constituting what doctors call "buboes," the disease has beeome known as the "bubonic plague." The fleas which infest the rat are also credited with a share in the diffusion of the ailment, for, charged with the microbes, these parasites will infect other rats, or may possibly inoculate man. It may be added that in one form of the plague the lungs are liable to be specially invoived. and the coughed-up matter in that case is highly infectious.
BLUE ELECTRIC LIGHT.
BLUE ELECTRIC LIGHT. Very extensive therapeutic effects are to be derived from the blue electric light, and if the favourable experiences recorded by Dr. Minine,says the Medical I'ret.i, are confirmed by subsequent investigations, a great advance in the art of heal- ing has been made. Dr. Minme has found that while blue light produces an antenna in the parts exposed to it, whi'e light causes the tissues to be filled with blood. The chief advantage claimed ior blue electric light lies in its action on the vaso- motor uerves. A further benefit to be secured by the use of this blue light is that it has a very marked anaesthetic effect, and Dr.Mininehas employed it in the suturing of wounds instead of cocaine. Hums and scalds heal rapidly and painlessly without any local application being necssary under the influence of this new method of treatment. It appears that the removal of stitches can be carried out without causing any pain by utilising the action of this light. In purpuric patients it is claimed that the general condition of the patient, the appetite, and the sleep are greatly improved. If a contusion be exposed to this light the occurrence of ecchymosis or of a hrematoma is thereby pre- vented. In the history of medicine it is not unknown that the advocates of particular methods have in perfect good faith claimed more for their therapeutic measures than lias afterwards been found to be the case. But if only a portion of the favourable results recorded as ensuing from the use of the blue elctric light are capable of being utilised by the ordinary practitioner, the treatment of many puzzling condi- tions will be greatly simplified.
DEMONSTRATING THE EARTH'S…
DEMONSTRATING THE EARTH'S CURVATURE. The demonstration of the earth's curvature by levelling has been repeated by Mr. H. Yule Oldham with a view of obtaining a photographic record. On a straight stretch of the English river Bedford are two bridges, six miles apart, with no inter- vening obstacles, and the height above water level of the parapet of one bridge was marked upon the other bridge, and aiso upon a pole set up half-way between. A telescope on the parapet. of the first bridge then shewed the mark 011 the pole to be about 6ft. above the line of sight htwppn the outer points. This arrees with the calculated effect, proof for the iecli.re 10. n1 0f the earth's spherical shape. In a libt of new magistrates appointed for Norwich labour claims have been recognised by the appointment of Mr. George Cleverlev. one of the most intelligent working men in the city. Harry Sleeman, a clerk of works, employed by Messrs. Jay's, Regent-street, has been charged at Marlborough-street Police-court, London, with defrauding his employers of £148 Os. 3id. by incurs of falsifying accounts. He was remanded*
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THE TROUBLES OF PROTECTIONISTS
TROUBLES OF PROTECTIONISTS MR. CHAMBERLAIN is only just beginning to find out how superficial is the impression his speeches have created. While his followers assure us, after each platform appearance, that he undoubtedly has the country behind him, there are not lacking more solid proofs that they have completely misread the symptoms of public opinion. While the effervescent elements of society, the class which has no desire to think great questions out, the politicians who find their intellectual stimulus in the doggerel of the music-hall patriotic ballads, are in line behind Mr. Chamberlain, there is no evidence that the new propaganda has captured the sober and reflecting elements of the community. Indeed, there are gratifying signs that with the growing realisation of the dangers contained in tha polling which has been so suddenly sprung upon the country by a single statesman the forces of resistance) are steadily growing. In the Conservative ranks many who from party loyalty were at first disposed to regard the new departure sympathetically are now recognising that tlio policy has been ill-conceived, and has been put together with less forethought and reflec- tion than any policy that has seen the light for a century. THE most CONCLUSIVE proof that the country is unwilling to follow the ex-Colonial Secretary in his dangerous movement is afforded by the history of tbo by-aluelkjns since the Fiscal question became the burning topic. He bus no difficulty in securing the allegiance of the. party organisation: is' that immediately the organisation has selcc'ed a candidate who professes the utmost admira- tion for Mr. Chamberlain a certain ccoling process sets in. Before the contest is well under weigh the candidate finds it dosirablo to explain that his support of Mr. Chamberlain is purely conditional. He is not prepared to support the food duties solely on the security of Mr. Chamberlain's famous pledge. Followed up by a judicious process of fic-si a pertinacious elector, the candidate is very soon in full retreat. Almost without except' this has been'the story of the development of Protectionist candidatures during the hut few months. A politician may pledge btmsalf '„, tax foreign cement, as at Rochester, or talk heroically about retaliating on the fore'g:;?", but of the taxing of food ho professes a I which reflects the general sentiments of the electors. And so long as candidates continue to honour Mr. Chamberlain with lip service only the cause of untaxed food will bo hi uc very imminent danger. WHAT is taking place at Lowisham during the present contest "illustrates with remark able clearness the uncertainty which paralyser the Protectionist movement generally. Major Coates was chosen as a Chamber]ainite, and as such he received the benediction of that section of the Press which represents the Glasgow policy as distinct from the Sheffield deliverance. The constituency was not long, however, in finding but that Major Coates was anxious to dilute his opinions, at any rate upon the pV.tform. He had apparently made the discovery that Protectionism was not the safest of cards to play under the circumstances. Needless to say, these modifications of opinion, while probably not conciliating opponents, have exasperated those who are for Mr. Chamberlain or nothing. "Wobbler is the contemptuous £ brase which the Daily Mail applies to the. politician who only a few days ago was acclaimed as the courageous loader of the Tariff Reformers in Lewisliam. His attitude, we are told, "grows more and more difficult to understand as his canvass proceeds, and probably at the present moment not one elector in ten could say upon what platform the chosen candidate of the Conservative party is standing. The truth seems to ho that Major Coates is a Protectionist who does not possess the pluck to confess his belief or to stand upon the platform which he knows to be the right one." For once the Daily Mail appears to have diagnosed the political com- plaint of Major Coates with absolute accuracy. It is want ot pluck which prevents him from appearing in his true colours in other words, he knows the electors will have nothing to say to the Chamberlain scheme. BUT if the country is unmistakably stiffen- ing its back against the proposal to tax our feed supplies in the interests of Colonists who hare not asked r.s to do so, and who are to any equivalent emulsion; the fate of Mr. Hal four's programme is still more unhappy. -No one to-day spares a passing thought for at SPieflieid, was to preserve the unitv of the Conservative party 00 the basis of retaliation. The electors are either for Chamberlain or against lwn tlio nebulous policy of Mr. Bairour attracts no attention. As the Standard points out, those Unionists with Free Trade instincts who hoped to prevent fattl j,) ilw party by rallying around Mr. Balfour in.d that, the Protectionists have determined to eairy on tho light with the ono aim of ilv.ally committing tho party solidly to the Chamberlain programme. "All the "language of sectarian abuse is showered upon those who '.efu.se to admit offhand that the unity of th- realm can only l.e preserved by taxes on foe.I and Protective duties on manufaetares. The official Concordat is contemptuously dis- regarded." Unlimited funds, boundless energy, and, it must he added, tho active selfishness of particular interests, have been enlisted < u the in order to mahe the jnle clGnr between Protection and Free Trade. '6a "Wonder" Guinea Parcel
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WE POST LARGELY FOR ALL THE LEADING ADVERTISERS. WE POST LARGELY FOR ALL THE RAILWAYS IN NORTH WALES. WITHOUT OUR STATIONS A THOROUGH REPRESENTATION CANNOT BE OBTAINED. All Work systematically inspected by exper- ienced Advertising Experts. ORDERS should be sent to MR. W. G. DAV- IES, Billposter, 12, St. Helens' Place, High Street, Rhyl. n WE GIVE FOR AGUINEA J Pa'f Whita Witney Blankets, 7lbs. weight, n\ long by 1} wide. 1 White Under Blanket, whippedbotli ends, aj long by 1} wide. 1 pair Heavy Twill SheeU, 2jyd3. by 2yds. 1 handsome Mosaic Quilt, fast colors, jyjJs-.long by 2tYds. wide, and a Cotton Pillow Cases, iuu size buttoned ends, superior quality and finish. All sent carriage paid on receipt of P.O.O. 5 BROOKFIELDS, Market Sq., Stafford. ISO (Enclose coupon). HIGH-CLASS CONFECTIONERY, 15, QUEEN STREET, RHYL. I J ROBINS FOR YOUR PURE HOME-MADE BREAD. VIENNA MILK ROLLS. ALL KINDS OF CAKES & PASTRY. I FRUIT PIES IN DISHES. VEAL AND IIAM PIES. CATLLER'S, PETERS', MAZZAWATTEE. CADBURY'S, AND ALL THE BEST 1 CHOCOLATES. MMS. E. BEncn ,T7T. A T r & REXAIL GLASS and CHINA DEALER 19, WEiL LINGTON ROAD, RHYL SPECIALTY FOR THE WINTER SEASON. THE CELEBRATE 0 D'NBY STONEWARE, HOT-WATER BOTTLES Strong and durable, all sizes from 7Ui. China, Ghss, Earthenware. Art Pottery &c» In great variety. BEECH'S '9 WeHxmglGsa Road, RteyS. Boneing and Larding a Speciality. THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED FISH SHOP &c., IN THE TOWN. WakerCIaiMSon Fruiterers, Fishmongers, Poulterers, and Licensed Dealers in Game-. 2 and 3, WATER STREET, And 2 and 3, MARKET HALL. AGENTS FOR HORNER'S CREAMS. Telephone, 21. THE OLDEST BOOT STORES IN RHYL. AM0S~& CO. 8a, SUSSEX STREET, RHYL (the only Address). Repairs and Bespoke Ordsre Promptly Attended to. r Established 1879. DAVID GRIFFITHS 4 SON FURNISHING UNDERTAKERS, Coffias supplied and Funerals conducted in Town and Country. Perfect efficiency can be relied upon. Care would be taken that only moderate charges aro made, consistent with first-class work and guarantee. REPAIRS TO PROPERTY EFFECTED. A Steady and Competent Staff of Men employed in all branches of the Building Trade. WINDSOR JOINERY WORKS, WINDSOR STREET, RHYL. A. CRAMPTON, PAINTER PAPERHANGER, AND GENERAL HOUSE DECORATOR. ESTIMATES SUBMITTED. All Work done under PERSONAL SUP v- VISION. VRONDEG, 49, "WELLINGTON ROAD, RHYL. MWPE XMAS CARDS Ape now ready At AMOS BROS, A I. JUNO cKOLesSESI' -v • /.Sv CASH cs ] J /V-i !■ 'M Jyft. wV I £ ? 15s. M;2N %*y'i \J £ 8s..5-li k ,• '-Qrf > v — t f i-f 7°,os'17 'x: /<• < K OS. 20 S u J I \iu os. 2i s) W r»ws. and :i;(:Wrilr:8\;i;;{!f:Qg .S'freet Withort, London. AW,) WtrOA)M».r,Y CT!1(!CS. r"o'T" VV. ERNEST L. WILLIAMS, BUILDER, CONTRACTOR., UNDERTAKER, &c. Estimates given for Alterations and Repairs Ail orders receive prompt personal attention. Residence— WELLINGTON ROAD, RHYL. The oldest-established butcher's shop in H'jI- T. E. JONES WHOLESALE AND FAMILY BUTCHER, BRTNGWYN, RHYL. PORK SHOP. 151, WELLINGTON 110AD. ALWAYS A GRAND SELECTION OF PRIIIB MEAT TN STOCK.
A MODERN FABLE.
An "atmospheric" or Newcomen engine near Glasgow has been lifting coal since 1809. It has t cylinder 32iin. in diameter and 66in. stroke. and is run at 27 revolutions per minute, with a pressure of 7lb., developing 27 horse-power.
SEVERE TREATMENT.
STEAMBOAT. In the method of steamboat propulsion of Mr. Robert Carr, steam is generated in a special boiler, and is made to drive air through tubes opening at the stern, the pressure of the air against the water driving the boat. Reversing is effected by turning the air into a tube running to the bow, and stewr- ing by closing the jet ou one side.
PAX-AMERICAN ROMANCE.
YANKEE HUMOUR. f "BLUE DUCK'S EGGS." An old friend of Artemus Ward's tells thit tnecdote in the Century Down on Canal-street, one day, he encountered a Mulligan" over her wash-tub, with her dress I pinned up about her waist, barefooted, and rubbing away upon her wash-board.with some dirty children playing about. He accosted her with a "Good morning," and inquired if she would like to do his washing, and what was her price. She straightened up, put her fists upon her hips, and, with a withering stare, said: "I'm not one of those that does washing out of my own family. You're a fine gossoon. I don't even know you by eyesight." Turning to the two boys, she said: "Here, Joseph Ander, take Thomas Ander by the hand and lade him eff til skule," Said Joseph Ander: "I've not had me breakfast." "Yes, and ye have. Ye had the blue duck's eggs jmd pancakes sopped in gravy. Now be off wid yees." And Artemus said he thought it was time for Urn to go, lest she might take a fancy to wash his shirt without his taking it off. The menu pleased him so much that he repeated it again and again, laughing heartily at each repetition: "The .blue duck's eggs and pancakes sopped in gravy." NEITHER ONE NOR THE OTHER. "Sir:" he said to a policeman on Fulton-street the other night, "you behold an unfortunate man." "I should say, rather, that I behold a half-drunken man." replied the officer, sizing his man up. "That's just it, officer—that's where I'm unfor- tunate," continued the stranger, as his feelings rose to the surface ? "How do you mean ? Why, I started out to get crunk and have a I whooping old time, but my money's given out, and I find myself neither slewed enough to whoop nor sober enough to go home and argue it out with my wife. Officer, iend me a quarter to finish the drunk on." It. is needless to say that the unfortunate had to move on, and take his condition with him. ONE ON THE MOON. The vagaries of the moon have been so often described in verse and love story that it seems a shame to make that poor, overworked "bright regent of the heavens" stand for an ordinary prosaic tale. But the Detroiter who went hunting in the north woods thought it a pretty fair joke, even though it was at the expense of the long-suffering moon. The party was in the hands of one of those rare old guides who make a living finding and losing people, and steering hunters out of the way of game. They had got mixed up in the tall timber one night, and were vainly fryir g to find their way out to the clearing. The guidg was as much at sea as anybody. "Where is the moon? aid one of the party, "Where does it rise in this locality ?" I "Well, ye can't tell any thin' 'bout it," drawled the guide; "half the time it doesn't come up at Jill."—Lel.-oit 1'ree Press. COULD TAKE HER CHOICE. "I'm leavin', mum," said the maid-of-all-work to her mistress, at present an invalid. "I'm goin' dressmakin', and I couldn't stay here nohows, anyhow." "Oh, it's too bad, but I would have given you due notice and a week's wrges." "I'll give you warning till I pack me trunk, mum. 1 m no lèLYt" and not used to bein*" com- plained of, either. I kin cook with the best of 'em, and I wouldn't go down on me knees to lord or lady—not me. Didn't you tell your husband to look after the house while you was sick, mum?" "I did." "It was the mistake of your life, mum. He makes a god of his stomach. That he do, mum, and a serf oi his servants." "He's one cf the best-hearted men alive." "I'm speakin' of his stomach, mum. I made him hash, as he likes fur breakfast. He says there was too much meat in it. I makes him another plate fur the next inornin', and he says it was all potatoes. "'I guess I can't suit you,' says I. "'Don't guess again,' says he, and I tole him that he didn't know no more about stylish hash than a cow does about runnin' a dar.cin' school. He said he would make me a gift of a cook-book so I could learn how to make hash. Me I could make hash before he had teeth to eat it with. Me and him can't live under the same roof, mum, and you kin make your choice." THE BLUE-EYED GIRL'S SCHEME. "I'll never bo even civil to a man again," muttered the brown-eyed girl. The blue-eyed girl shrugged her shoulders incredulously. "Have your unsophisticated affec- tions been trifled with ? "It is worse than that. A man I don't even like thinks I am in love with him." "Did you give him cause?" "Indeed I did not. Only a conceited prig could have mistaken my manner. You know, I have just returned from Cousin Nan's summer cottage. There was a bachelor next door. I don't know how long he has been a bachelor, but long enough to be utterly selfish and uninteresting. He ran in every day, and I told Nan's husband that it was better to be lonely than to be bored. Then in some unexplainable way I got it ino my head that he had been in love with Cousin Nan, and was still true to her memory." "You—a Chicago girl, and thinking that? You are queer," commented the blue-eyed girl "I know it. but it made him interesting. His stupid expression seemed soulful, and when he shook hands with Cousin Nan I fancied that I could see a wistful expression, and when he kissed her children I felt sure that only a strong will was keeping hack his tears. I thought him so noble, so uncomplaining, and I tried to enter into all his moods. It wasn't very thrilling, but as there was no other man around I thought it wouldn't hurt me to be good to him and cheer him up as much as I could. Wo rode and walked together in sympathetic silence, and I folt sure that he understood, for he told Tom that I was such a restful girl. One evening we stood on the porch, and I thought of the years of loneliness before him and my heart ached. Picking up his hand, I held it for a second against my cheek, said 'Good-night' very abruptly, and went into the house "No wonder he thought: that you were in love," interrupted the blue-eyed girl. "Nonsense! If a man picked up a girl's hand she nldn't think that ho was in Inve-she \VOIJ!lt know I hat he wag simply affected by the mOOI1 01" something he had eaten for dinner." "Of course he proposed ? "Hardly. This story in any story hook. He was frightened to death and never culled again. I found out afterwards that he had never been ill love with am. one except himself—conceited prig!" The blue-eyed girl looked thoughtful. "If you want to be awfully popular I'll tell you how if you will promise never to breathe it." I promise anything." "Well. 1 will teil yon my own experience. Last summer there was only one eligible man at the summer resort, and I knew that my chances for a. good time were ¡ im, for the other girls were younger and very attractive. Then some ono who didn't know toid that man that the man I was engaged to died, and since that time I had been indifferent to men. It was better to have him think that than to know the real unromr.nt.ic truth, so I dropped several remarks which would confirm his opinion. lift had not even looked at me before, but after that, he began studying my face, and he thought it so wonderful the way I hid my true feelings, for though my heart was broken onlv a very close observer would have guessed it. To make a long story short, lIe decided that I was very safe for a. summer girl, arid lie showered his attentions on me, and I accepted them with an I-unders!and-vou air. It worked so beautifully that I now have six men trying to make me forget some deep, unknown sorrow, for they all feel sure that I can't fail in love." "But do you think any of them will propose?" "I hope not. I don't want to have a good thing spoiled." Then the blue-eyed girl began looking over her engagement book for the week. Wife: "Henry, can't you let me have some money to-day?" Husband: "What did you do, with that dollar T let you have last week?" Wife (good- naturedly) "Well, I had to have a new bonnet and a heavier wrap, and Willie and Katie needed new shoes, and John had to have a new suit, and Frank a new hat. and Caroline needed a new gown, and Mary a pair of eloves. and David an overcoat—and —and—and really, Henry. I don't remember what I did with the change."—"Detroit Journal. I really don't know what to do," said the l vivacious woman. "It is very difficult to please the world." What is the difficult}-?" asked her husband. "People are so unreasonable in their comments. If you tell all you hear they say you are a gossip, and if you don't they say you are stupid and commonplace."—Washington Star. "Yes," said Farmer Corntossel, "our boy Josiah is devotin' a good deal of time to games an' lig.tt literature jes' at present." "Isn't that a rather unprofitable pursuit?" "Yes. But you see, all the cabinet offices an' big diplomatic places is filled, so I reckon Josiah feels that there ain't much elM fur him to do at present."—Washington Star. A man, who is charged with disconnecting the cables supplying the electric power to the Cardiff tramways and stopping the service, lies in the infirmary suffering from severe electric shock. A gentleman was found wandering about the Birmingham streets on Christmas Day, having lost his memory. He was taken to the General Hospital, and subsequently recovered. It turned out that he was formerly a doctor living in Coventry.
A LESSON IN JOURNALISM.
APPIIANCE FOR THE DKAF. A Russian apparatus for restoring hearing consists of a light rubber shell, furnished with a miniature microphone, which is connected to a small galvanic battery. It is claimed that the microphone causes even the softest speech to react on the audi tory nerve of the deaf when the apparatus is placed to the ear. » --0&
] THE FARMER DIDN'T BITE.
BALLOONS A3 AIDS IN TRAVELLING. A suggestion made by the aeronaut Wise as long ago as 1850 is worthy of the twentieth century. He proposed that explorers tie to themselves balloür:3 almost lifting Mieir weight, and pointed out that they could then easily travel with the wind by bounds of one hundred yards or more. thus crossing swamps and streams and extricating themselves from difficult positions.