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ECONOMY.—" YVharC ? butter and jam! Why, Ethel, my child, we'd 80018 be in tlke. workhouse at that rate 1" "The worlAouse! Why, mother, Uncle Bob says butter and jam's "econemy." "Economy! How?" Oh, the same piece of bread does for both." MABEL'S Mabel (to her grandpa): "And can you really remember George the Fourth?" Grandpa: Yes, little one you see, I am a good deal oldec than you are." Mabel: How much elder must I grow before I can re member him ? WHAT A QUBSTION !—OPE Saturday a visitor to Bolton Woods, walking by the side ef the Wharfe, came unexpectedly upon an acquaint- ance sitting on the bank fishing. Na', lad," said he, what's ta' doin' ? Oh, oaly fishing a bit," reclied his friend. Well, an' 'as ta' copped ony ? queried his questioner. Copped ony ? scornfully replied the angler. Why, I only eommed a' Wednesday UNFORTUNATE.—A stump orator wishing to describe his opponent as a soulless man, did it in this wise: "I have heard," said he, "some persons hold to the opinion that just at the precise instant after one human being dies another is born; and that the soul of the de- ceased enters and animates the new-born babe. Now, I have made particular and extensive iÐ- quiries concerning my opponent there, and I find that for some hours previous to his nativity nobody died." CONDENSED NOVEL.—He 'was immured in the darkest dungeon beneath the castle moat. "If I had only a saw, a file, he moaned, as he looked at the solid bars across the solitary window. Then an idea struck him. His face brightened up like a warehouse con- flagration. Iiapidly running over his supply of collars, which had just come from the laundry, he selected one fitted for his purpose. Five minutes later, the great middle bar of the wmdow, dexterously severed by the saw-like edge of the laundered collar, fell apart. He was free I'M NOT A LIAR."—A boy onee applied for a situation. "We don't like lazy boys here," said the manager. Are you fond of work ? No, sir,p responded the boy, looking the other straight in the face. Oh, you're not ? Well, we want a boy that is." "There ain't any." said the boy doggedly. Oh, yes there are. We have had over half a dozen of that kind here this morning to take the place we have." How do you know they are ?" asked the boy. They told me so." So could I. But I'm not a liar." And the lad said it with such an air of convincing energy that he was engaged at once. A POOR SUBSTITUTE.—A sportsman went out fishing on a Highland loch, his companion being the estate-keeper, Sandy McKay. The gentle- man proved rather unsuccessful with his rod, and, after persevering for a couple of hours, he said: "I think we may as well go home now. Sandy; the trout won't bite to-day." When they went ashore, the sportsman offered the keeper some sherry, which that functionary declined. I've got no whisky," said the gentleman. What is your objection to a drop of sherry ? Weel," replied Sandy, "if ye maun ken, it's the same objection as ye hae tae the troot the day—it winna bite." THE END OF THE CONCERT.—It is a little- known fact that fish are excessively susceptible to music. The writer once put this to a prac- tical test by constructing a musical-box in a water-tight case, and sinking it below the sur- face of a pond swarming with perch. As the musical-box played the first tune, The Lost Chord," the fish closed around in regular ranks, evidently listening in rapt attention. The second tune, D'ye ken John Peel ? aroused livelier sensations in them, as shown by quick movements of their bodies. Then the third tune commenced. It was God Save the Queen." Before the four first notes were played, the fish, with one accord, like an ill-mannered concert audience, commenced to make hasty prepara- tions for departure, and by the end of the second bar they were all well on their way to respective homes.

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----------A DCEL IX IRELAND.…

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Family Notices

IROYAL VICTORIA HOTEL, ; PRESTATYN.…

I NOTES FROM PRESTATYN.

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|RHYL. I

FLINTSHIRE POLICE COMMITTEE.

POETRY. .

HITS TO HOUSEWIVES.4 .

NOTES AND SUMMARY.