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ftjustard and Cress. 0

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ftjustard and Cress. 0 On Sunday evening next the Rev J. R. Jones -will preach a "Thanksgiving Sermon" at the Tabernacle Chapel, Pontypridd. At a local Police Court last week one of the wnesses on being asked the nature of hia occu- pation, replied that he was "A tobacconist and bairdressing saloon. Other magistrates seem te be desirous of emu- lating those of Caerphilly in the matter of Irish- isms. Mr Batchelor is reported to have perpe- trated the following at the Barry Police Court last week: "Leok here, prisoner, last time you were here was at Penarth." During the coming winter Mr Herbert Spicer, Mr Samuel Moss, and Mr Brynmor Jones will address meetings on behalf of Alderman Walter Morgan's candidature in South Glamorgan. Our old friend Ap Tafonwy Mills is keeping well to the front, as will be seen in a report we give in another column of a concert held at Capetown last month, in which he took a pro- juideat pari. The date of the Porth Cottage Hospital Eis- teddfod, which was postponed in consequence of the coal struggle, is now definitely fixed for the 26th and 27th of December, and will be held in a spacious marquee in the Tynycymmer Grenada, Cymmer. The total rainfall recorded at Maesderwen, Pontypridd, for the month of September was 3.5' inches, as compared with 6.84 inches during the corresponding month of last year. The aver- age temperature was 58.8. Great wails are heard from the lower part of Tre,alaw, because there is much water there. Water! water! he found on every side, but not a drop to drink. It is a fact that one inebriant mistook a glass of This water for beer, but the immediate result of taking it cannot be pub- lished here. Let us draw a veil over this pic- ture and hope for better water in a short while. Good manners in public axe a necessity, the oil of the machinery of life, causing it to move without friction and violence. Children cannot be governed by any unvary- ing rule; they must be treated according to the differences in their characters. This much is to be said in favour of the tat- tooed man-While a great many men h-ave designs upon others, his are all upon himself. The New Governess: "What are the flom- parative and superlative of bad, Berty?" Berty (the doctor's son): "Bad—worse—dead!" Look upon the bright side of your condition; then your discontents will disperse. Pore not upon your losses, but recount your meraies. A man is always proud of his children who are large for their age, except when he is try- ing to pass them on half-fare tickets on the case. Boy: "I say, faflier, my bed- is getting too short for me." Father: Humph! It didn't seem so when I called you at six o'clock this morning." Irate German (to stranger who has stepped on his toe): "Mine frient, I know mine feet was meant to be walked oiL but dot privilege belong? to me." A shopkeeper having had a stormy discussioa with his better half, put the shutters up and affixed the following notice: "Closed during altercations." An old gardener said of a preacher whose discourses were greatly wanting in point, "Ah, yes; he's a good man, but he will rake with the teeth upward!" Traveller (inquiring at a fiamous castle): "Can I see the antiquities to-day?" Servant: "I am afraid not, sir. My lady and her daughter have gone to tewn." Counsel: "I understand, Colonel, that you are acquainted with warfare in all its branches?' Colonel: "No, sir, no; not in all its branches. I am a bachelor." Mamma: "Now, you cannot say, John, that baby does not love you. What do you think she has pleaded with me to ask you for?" Papa: "What, dear?" Mamma: "She wants a lock of your hair." Baby: "Yes, papa, do let me have it, my rocking-horse has lost its tail, and" (Tableau). Jack (rapturously): "Now, darling, will you please name the happy day?" Minnie (blush- ingly): "Three weeks from Thursday, Jack." NoEak, the kitchenmaid (through the keyhole: 4Av you please, miss, that's me regular day out. Ye'll have to get married in the early part of the wake." Agent: "What was the matter with your last place?" Domestic. "The couple had only been married a month, and I couldn't stand the lova making." Agent: "Well, here's a chance in a house where the couple have been married ten years." Domestic: "That's too long; I like quiet and peace." First Beauty: "Charlie Levette behaved abominably to poor Effie." Second Ditto. "How was that?" First Beauty: "Why, she liappened to be temporarily disengaged, and, of course, she accepted him for the time, and he actually hurried the wetTclmg over before she -could find someone really eligible. Shameful, I call it." A Scotch elder was asked how the kirk was getting along. He answered: "Aweel, we had 400 members, then we had a division, and there was only 200 left; then a disruption, and only ten of us were left; then we had a heresy trial, and now only mp and Brother Duncan are left, and I have great doubts of Duncan's orthodoxy." "You can see with half an eye" that FRANK THOMAS ("My Hatter,") sells the best 3/9 Hat. The chief characteristics of G. F. HACKER'S Photo- graphs are Fidelity and Artistic Finish. Samples .may be seen at his Studio—12 and 13, The Arcade, Pontypridd. 4219 ANY Photograph enlarged and finished in Black and White. Crayon, or OIIF; by THOS. ■FOBRBST & SONS, Cambrian Studio, Pontypridd.

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