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The Lianwoqno Cuardians.



London College of Music.

Boy Burglars at Caerphilly



.,...-The World of Pastime.…


Our Jokes Competition.


Our Jokes Competition. The prize in this week's competition has been secured by Miss Bessie Jcnes, Sherwood,Llwyn- ypia, for "A MicLRhondda Story." A MID-RHONDDA STORY. These circumstances occurred the other Sim- day evening: He escorted her from Church, and upon arriving at her home their discussion of the sermon á.nu the extreme heat suggested an invitation, readily accepted by Charlie, to partake of A cooling glass of lemonade. She led him to the dining room,and there found naughty brother Ben about to squeeze the last lemon in the house for his own special benefit. Calling him aside, she induced Ben by means of sundry threats and promises, to dissect that lemon and make Charlie and herself a glass. A self- sacrificing thought struck her! "No', Ben," she said, "put the juice of the wholo lemon into Charlie's glass, and bring me a glass of water. He won't notice it—there's no light in the par- lour!" Ben was making one good strong lemon- ade, as directed, when Charlie quietly slipped out and remarked, "I say, Ben, put the juice of your entire lemon in your sister's glass, and bring me gome ice water—there's no light- in the parlour and she won't notice it." Ben's forte is in obeying orders. With a merry twinkle in his eye, he drank the lemonade, then carried them each a glass of water, which they drank with much apparent relish, asking each other between the sips, "If it was sweet enough." And naughty brother Ben, with the taste of that lemonade in his mouth, stood out in the hall and laughed till his sides ached, to hear them assure each other that it was "Just right!" "So palatable, and so refreshing!" A CLEVER RUSE. A young man was lately seen walking up and down the platform of a large railway station, vainly endeavouring to find an empty carriage in a train waiting there. "Excuse me, but this train is not going." A general rush ensued, and the yeung man stepped into the deserted compartment and took possession of tha coveted seat in the corner just as the train began to move off. Frantic screams arose from the enraged party who angrily demanded: "What on earth did you say the train was not going for?" "Well, it wasn't then, was it?" replied the wag, as b# set himself comfortably and lit his cigarette!—J.A., Pontypridd. SHE RECOGNISED IT. Mr W. H. Preece, C.B., the well-known elec- trician, tells an amusing story about the early days of the telephone. He put Osborne, Ports- mouth, and London into oommunication in order that the Queen might test the new invention, and arranged that a band should play while Her Majesty was at the other end of the instrument. The Queen did not arrive until very late, and by that time the band had been sent away. Mr Preece was at first in despair; but a happy thought suddenly struck him. Why not act as the band himself? No sooner thought of than done. He hummed "God save the "Queen" into the instrument, and then asked if Her Ma- jesty recognised it. "Yes, answered the Queen, "it was the National Anthem, but it was badly played."—R.T., Tonypandy. HE HAD HIM THERE. New Editor (to old sohool mate): "It hurts me, old fellow, to wound your feelings, but really we are so overstocked with poetry that it is useless to read yours. We can only accept what shows unmistakable genius." Old Schoolmate: "Well, just read that poem, and tell me what you think of it. It may prove better than you imagine. New Editor, having read the poem: "It is as I feared; the poem shows no promise whatever. Pardon me: but it is simply absurd." Old Schoolmate (with a broad grin): "That's just what I thought. It's a copy of some verses you wrote in my autograph album while we were at school together."—J.A.J., Pontypridd. A SMART REPLY. One day a little boy was returning home from market witha donkey-cart loaded with vege- tables. After every few steps, the donkey took into his head to stop. Soon a crowd gathered round them, and began teasing and chaffing the little boy. For some time he took no notice ef them, when a toff from the crowd called out "How much do you want for your donkey." The little boy quickly answered him by saying, "Before I sell my donkey you had better go home and ask your parents if they can afford to fceep twor.* He quickly (Jisapipeared.—M.E., Tonypandy. WHAT THE CLERGYMAN CANNOT DO. A well-known Glasgow divine related the fol- lowing anecdote, bowing that the ready wit of a eountryman was more than a match for him. He was going to the country for his holidays, and was in a railway train, when a young man entered. In a short time the two commenced a conversation., The clergyman asked the youth what he worked at. "I'm a coupler, sir," was the reply. "A coupler? So am I," replied the clergyman with a laugh. The youth looked at him for a minute or so; then burst into a fit of laughter, and said "Oh, I see, yer a meenister; ye marry folks. But I gang further than yee dae, I baith ooupla and uncouple."—R.P., Ferndale.

Two Pictures and a Letter.

Common Diseases '

.+ Philanthropic Order of…

4 Ta Late Mr David Ivor Williams,…


The Prize Fight at Dinas.


With the Rhondda District…



- Ystrad.



Stealing a Dog.