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[ORIGINAL POETRY FOR THE Guardian.]

LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MARTIN…

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LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT. Those, and they are not a few, who predicted the failure of Boz in his future works of fiction, will be agreeably surprised at the rich, the inimitable humour of the present number. Gibbon became lacrymose, and whimpered when he had finished his "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," because he had no more history to write. Our droll friend Boz has no idea of such softness. He laughs throughout Ms work, makes his reader laugh with him, too, exhausts old worlds of fiction, and then imagines new, with all the buoyancy and hilarity of the first sprightly runnings of his teeming muse and at the end we find him the same caustic, humorous, good-natured soul that first won upon the world, and set it laughing. If the following delicious morsel will not go. down with our readers, we shall have each and every one of them brained with my lady's fan THE SCHOOL-MASTER AT HO.NIE-li MRS. TODGERS'S BOARDING-HOUSE. Mr. Pecksniff had followed his younger friends up-stairs, and taken a chair at the side of Mrs. Todgers. He had also spilt a cup of coffee over his legs without appearing to be aware of the circumstance nor did he seem to know that there was muffin on his knee. And how have they used you down-stairs, sir V asked the hostess. 44 Their conduct has been such, my dear madam," said Mr. Pecksniff, as I can never think of without emotion, or remember without a tear. Oh, Mrs. Todgers!" 4tMy goodness!" exclaimed that lady. "How low you are in your spirits, sir!" "I am a man, my dear madam," said Mr. Pecksniff, shedding tears, and speaking with an imperfect articulation, "but I am also a father. I am also a widower. My feelings, MrSi Todgers, will not consent to be entirely smothered, like the young children in the Tower. They are grown up, and. .the raore-Ipress the bolster on them, the more they look round the corner of it." ,1re suddenly became conscious of the bit of muffin, and stared at it intently, shaking his head the while, in a forlorn and imbecile manner, as if he regarded it as his evil genius, 'â:úcl mildly reproached it. She was beautiful, Mrs. Todgers," he said, turning his glased eye again upon her, without the least preliminary -iI "She had a small property." 44 So- r have heard," cried Mrs. Todgers, with great u Those are her daughters," said Mr. Pecksniff, pointing Out the young ladies with increased emotion. *2Hrs. Todgers had no doubt of it. ,*f-Me»ey and Charity," said Mr. Pecksniff, Charity and Mercy. No unholy names, I hopel" 'Pecksuit! cried Mrs. Todgers, "what a ghastly mettle. Are you ill, sir 1" Ile. pressed his hand upon her arm, and answered in a Solemn manner, and a faint voice, Chronic." „ "Cholic?"- Cried the frightened Mrs. Todgers. Cbron-ic," he repeated, with some difficulty. "Chronic. A chronic disorder. I have been its victim from childhood. js carrying, me to my grave." 44 Heaven forbid cried Mrs. Todgers. 44 Yes it is," said Mr. Pecksniff, reckless with despair. 44 I a^n rather glad of it, upon the whole. You are like her, Mrs. Todgers." 44 Don't squeeze me so tight, pray, Mr. Pecksniff. If any ■ W the gentlemen^should notice us." .#t-lumlOeU. a day of enjoyment, Mrs. Todgers; but still it has been a day of torture. It has reminded me of my toneiine". What am I in the world 1" An excellent gentleman, Mr. Pecksniff," said Mrs. Todgers-. Thweja a consolation in that, too," cried Mr. Pecksniff. "AmU" s$_Thn-e:,wno better man living," said Mrs. Todgers, 44 I sm sure." Mr.'Tedftniff smiled through his tears, and slightly shook -head 1 You are very good," he said, thank you. It t« a great happiness to me, Mrs. Todgers, to make young people happy. The happiness of my pupils is my chief ect. I dote upon 'em. They dote upon me, too- ^BtetimesJ^ 44 Always," said Mr. Todgers. When theysay they havn't improved, ma'am," whis- pered Mr. Pecksniff, looking at her with profound mystery, attd motioning her to advance her ear a little closer to his month. When they say they havn't improved, ma'am, AtaA the premium was too high, they lie! I should't wish it ? bementionad.; you will understand me; but I say to you, eld friend, i*. Base wretches they must be said Mr. Todgers. "Madam," said Mr. Pecksniff, you are right. I respect you for that observation. A word in your ear. To Parents and Guardians. This is in confidence, Mrs. Todgers." The strictest, of course cried that lady. To Parents and Guardians," repeated Mr. Pecksniff. An eligible opportunity now offers, which unites the advantages of the best practical architectural education with the comforts of a home, and the constant association with some, who, however humble their sphere and limited their capacjty-obsenc !-are not unmindful of their moral re- sponsibilities." Mrs. Todgers looked a little puzzled to know what this might mean, as well she might; for it was, as the reader may perchance remember, Mr. Pecksniff's usual form of advertising when lie wanted a pupil; and seemed to have no particular reference, at present, to anything. But Pecksniff held up his finger as a caution to her not to interrupt him. Do you know any parent or guardian, Mrs. Todgers," said Mr. Pecksniff, who desires to avail himself of such an opportunity for a young gentleman 1 An orphan would be preferred. Do you know of any orphan with three or four hundred pounds ]" Mrs. Todgers reflected, and shookxher head. When you hear of an orphan with three or four hundred pounds," said Mr. Pecksniff, let that dear orphan's friends apply, by letter, post-paid, to S.P., post-office, Salisbury. I don't know who he is exactly. Don't be alarmed, Mrs. Todgers," said Mr. Pecksniff, falling heavily against her. Chronic—chronic Let's have a drop of something to drink." Bless my soul, Miss Pecksniffs," cried Mrs. Todgers, aloud, your dear pa's took very poorly Mr. Pecksniff straightened himself by a surprising effort as every one turned hastily towards him and standing on his feet, regarded the assembly with a look of ineffable wisdom. Gradually it gave place to a smile, a feeble, help- less, melancholy smile bland, almost to sickness. Do not repine, my friends," said Mr. Pecksniff, tenderly. Do not weep for me. It is chronic." And with these words, after making a futile attempt to pull of his shoes, he fell into the fire-place. The youngest gentleman in company had him out in a second-yes, before a hair upon his head was singed, he had him on the hearth-rug—Her father Jinkins and Gander took the rest upon themselves, and made him as comfortable as they could on the outside of his bed and when he seemed disposed to sleep, they left him. But before they had all gained the bottom of the staircase, a vision of Mr. Pecksniff, strangely attired, was seen to flutter on the top landing. He desired to collect their sen- timents, it seemed, upon the nature of human life. My friends," cried Mr. Pecksniff, looking over the banisters, let us improve our minds by mutual inquiry and discussion. Let us be moral. Let us contemplate existence. Where is Jinkins 1" Here," cried that gentleman. Go to bed again To bed!" said Mr. Pecksniff, Bed! 'Tis the voice of the sluggard, I hear him complain you have woke me too soon, I must slumber again. If any young orphan will repeat the remainder of that simple piece from Doctor Watts's collection, an eligible opportunity now offers." Nobody volunteered. This is very soothing." said Mr. Pecksniff, after a pause, Extremely so. Cool and refreshing particularly to the legs! The legs of the human subject, my friends, are a beautiful production. Compare them with wooden legs, and observe the difference between the anatomy of nature and the anatomy of art, Do you know," said Mr. Peck- sniff, leaning over the banisters, with an odd recollection of his familiar manner among new pupils at home, that I should very much like to see Mrs. Todgers's notion of a wooden leg, if perfectly agreeable to herself!" As it appeared impossible to entertain any reasonable hopes of him after this speech, Mr. Jinkins and Mr. Gander went up-stairs again, and once more got him into bed but they had not descended to the second floor before he was out again nor, when they had repeated the process, had they descended the first flight before he was out again. In a word, as often as he was shut up in his own room, he darted out afresh, charged with some new moral sentiment, which he continually repeated over the banisters, with ex- traordinary relish, and an irrepressible desire for the im- provement of his fellow-creatures that nothing could subdue.

THE HORRORS OF TRANSPORTATION

EXTRAORDINARY CHARGE OF BIGAMY…

HOUSE OF. LORDS. THURSDAY.

HOUSE OF COMMONS.

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