Rhyl Journal

CYCLING NEWS & GOSSIP. x The controversy respecting the speed of motor cars on the highway and the persecution of motorists by the police, is occupying a prominent place in the daily press, and judging by the attitude taken up by many prominent public men, it is more than likely that some alterations will be made in the existing law to the benefit of motorists and the equal safety of the public, at no distant date. Lord Onslow, Under-Secretary for the Colonies, and a magistrate of Surrey, had a lot to say on the behaviour of the police when he was sitting at the Surrey Quarter Sessions at Kingston-on-Thames. He cited a trap laid for motorists by the Surrey police on the occasion of the Automobile Club's test trials. "Between Reigate and Gatton a policeman dressed as a "yokel" was posted on a gate with his back to the road. A few yards further on two other policemen were sitting on the hedge reading news papers, also in plain clothes while a little further on were three in uniform to stop the cars. The driver of the offending car went through Reigate at five miles an hour and when outside drove at fourteen. So he fell into the police trap, and was duly summoned and fined." He referred to the :proceedings as being underhanded and questioned whether there were sufficient police in the county to spare for that kind of work, since it required six to form a trap. Lord Onslow moved the following resolution:- That in the opinion of this court it is in the interests of the public that the police should, in their efforts to secure the due observance of the regulations as to light locomotives on highways, devote their attention to preventing danger to pas- sengers and traffic from fast driving of motor cars in villages and populous places and round sharp corners, rather than to secure any fixed maximum of speed regardless of traffic and other conditions." This was seconded by Major Kingsley Foster of Reigate. The West Surrey coroner spoke in its favour, remarking in spite of the many prosecu- tions which bad been made, only one death had been caused through a motorcar, and that through an accident where speed did not enter into the question. The present state of things, he con- tinued, were becoming intolerable to motorists, and a vast industry was being crippled. Mr. George Cave, the chairman, said he had nothing to say against the first part of the resolution, but he considered that the latter part cast a reflection on the police. On the motion being put, ten justices voted for it, but it was a full court, and the motion was lost by a large majority. Motorists must therefore rely upon the subject being brought np in Parliament, and the existing laws altered. A bus driver in London has brought trouble on his own head and xpense on that of his employer's the London General Omnibus Co. A cyclist had rested his bicycle against a kerb, when the defen- dant came along driving his bus at a rapid pace close up to the kerb, knocking the bicycle down and running over it. The driver maintained that his horses easily cleared the machine, which must have fallen over as the bus was passing. Eye witnesses however, proved that this was not so, and that the owner of the cycle only just had time to save himself. Judge Edge gave the verdict to the wheelman, awarding him £ 13 13s. and costs. The great road race of Australia from Warrnam- bool to Melbourne, has been held, and the efforts of the promoters to make it the chief event of the year, were unquestionably successful. The course measures 165 miles, and is far from that level nature found on the Great North Road. No less than 101 riders started in the event, the limit man having a matter of 70 minutes' start. It was a limit man's race, the first three home being found amongst the slower brigade. M. Chappel, the winner, was granted 55 minutes, as likewise was C. W. Castles the second man home, the third being J. R. McDonald, the limit man. These three riders, as well as H. G. O'Callaghan who made the fastest time in the race-8 hrs., 46 mins., 23 sees.—were mounted on cycles fitted with Dunlop tyres. In Melbourne, the public evinced great interest in the contest, fully 20,000 persons lining up behind the barriers, which had been erected to give the competitors a free course for the last mile of their journey. Upon the retirement of the Ex-deputy Chief Constable of Gloucestershire, the solicitors prac- tising at Gloucester, presented him with a tricycle. When purchasing a machine, observe the grade of tyres fitted. Any rider who knowingly has cheap tyres fitted to his machine is foolish, because he is surely purchasing trouble and disappoint- ment. Insist upon having tyres of the highest grade fitted. A tyre such as the famous Dunlop is exempt from worry, while lasting, wearing qualities and satisfaction is assured. It is a healthy sign of the times that club runs have been remarkably well attended during the present season. Several know-alls declared a few years ago, that the club-run was almost dead, and gave it a year or two to linger out its days. These wise men might have know better had they based their statements on facts instead of their imagination. The club-run is, after all said and done, the most popular feature of the pastime, and, in our opinion, will long continue so. A report from the head surgeon of an institution for the treatment of the mentally afflicted, gives cycling a high place as a valuable assistant in the relief of mental disorders. Some of the inmates of the Asylum have been permitted to cycle and the effect has been a hastening of their con- valescence, and in some cases the patients have completely recovered. The explanation of the value of the treatment is that cycling distracts the mind from morbib trains of thought. The same dissipation of mental worry makes cycling a useful brain-tonic to the worker as well as a restorative to those who are of a weak intellect. According to Le Vclv, the French daily cycling paper, England is still as droll a country as Dickens made it out to be. From an analysis of fines levied on cyclists in six months for furious riding, they find that 11 knocking down a man costs a guinea, if a woman is upset, that only a matter of fifteen shillings,—shades of French gallantry what 89.1 yon to this ?-and a policeman is still cheaper, only 8 A real bargain is a child at 5/ and a postman 2/6."

The Most Nutritious. EPPS'S Grateful—Comforting. COCOA Breakfast-Supper.

AS HE SAID. A tale that th.e late Dr. Benson used to delight in was told Ilim by a getitleinati wlio, finding that the stablemen were not in the habit of attending church, spoke to his coachman about it. "They ought to go," lie said. "That's just what I say myself, sir, was the rejoinder. "L says to them,'Look at me. i go; and what harm does it do me ?

The man who is anxious on every occasion to tell all he knows is pretty sure not to know all he tells.

CLIPPINGS FROM BOOKS. DECIDED TO SMASH. A twelve-year-old youngster stood on til kerbstone in a street in Kentish Town gazing at, a third-story window on the opposite side Soon several pedestrians halted, and discovered wiiiit had attracted the lad's attention. On a window-sill was a bird-cage with a canary hopping about in alarm. On the next window. sill crouched a cat with eyes fastened on the bird. Woman is out or busy at the back," mused the boy aloud, and the cat is bound to get the bird, and perhaps knock the cage off the sill and give somebody a whack." lie stooped down and picked up a stone from the (iii-tl, iiii(I: I t,iiiiilc I do it,, but it's- likely I shall smash a pane of glass. Let's see, I don't think they cost more than a shilling apiece. Now, shall I save a seven-and-sixpenny canary by smashing a shilling pane of glass? Clear profit, t.o the woman—six shilling and sixpence. I'll smash." Taking a good grip of tjie stone, he sent it whizzing at the animal, then about to spring. It went just over her and through the pane of glass, and she gave a jump, nearly fell into the street, and disappeared through the second window. Almost at once a woman appeared at the window where the bird was, looked out in alarm, and took the cage in. Not one of the group said a word until all was over. Then everybody smiled in a satisfied sort, of way, and a labouring man patted the boy on the back in a fatherly fashion, and said "Ah, my son, if I 'ad the 'ead that you've got I'd be a rich man in less than fi ve years." WHISTLING FOR SEALS. The well-known love of seals for musical sound too often leads to their destruction. When the Esquimaux hunter sees none of his prey about, he begins whistling, and sooner or later is sure to attract, an appreciative seal within reach of his harpoon. Lying at, full length at the edge of the ice lip, continues whistling low, plaintive calling notes, and presently a few of the animals will draw near to the spot, lifting themselves as r high as they can out of the water, and slowly; moving their heads to and fro, as if keeping time to the music. By-and-bye one seal, more daring than its fellows, will come very close to the hunter, who then jumps to his feet and slays the creature, while its mates make off as quickly as possible. DETECTED. A devoted couple, who, apparently, had been long separated, were thrust into each other's company at a largely attended reception. A lady who tells the story was present, in com- pany witli an educated deaf girl. The happy re-united pair fully displayed tll. thoughts that were in their hearts by the beam upon their countenances. Suddenly the ycung man drew near to the one whom he adored and said, in a low tone, inaudible to those about him, a few seemingly affectionate words. The deaf girl watched the proceedings with intense interest, and suddenly broke into a broad grin. On her companion inquiring what it was amused her, she turned about so that the couple could not see her, and replied "That man said, 'If all these people were not here, I'd kiss you. If they don't get out of the way pretty soon, I shall have to before them.' The girl replied, "Then I shall scream. The deaf girl had understood their words by watching the motion of their lips in the course of an acfton against a Chicago matrimonial agency for fraudulent practices, the police called twelve lady clerks employed by the agency as witnesses. They admitted that they had written 100,000 love-letters to men who had applied to the agency for introductions to rich wives. A verdict of "Accidental death" has been returned at an inquest concerning* the death of Mr. A. E. Odling (45), a surgeon practising in Alford. The deceased gentleman attended a dinner in connection with the local Volunteers. On leaving he slipped down the steps « £ the stairs, and fractured his skull. The London Gazette contains an announce- ment that Private William House, 2nd Battalion Royal Berkshire Regiment, is awarded the Vic- toria Cross for conspicuous bravery in South Africa, in rescuing a sergeant under heavy fire at Mosilikatse Nek on August 2nd, 19Q2I' VBtfl which occasion he was severely woundeS A woman at Westminster Police Cou bJ¥ don, wished to know whether she could obtain a separation from her husband on the ground of "neglect."—Mr. Horace Smith: What do you mean by that?—Applicant: For constantly keep- ing out late at night playing cards, and going to public-houses.—The Magistrate: Oh, no; cer- tainly not. There was an earthquake shock the other day at a town in the State of Georgia. So alarmed were the City Councillors, then assembled in debate, that they Red into the street. The in- cident was recorded by the Town Clerk in the minutes with befitting solemnity. On the motion of the City Hall," he wrote, the Council adjourned." Speaking at Crewe, Mr. Geoffrey Drage, after prolonged travels in Australasia and the Far East, amongst other questions dealt with the British policy in the East, expressing the belief that if England were to maintain its commercial supremacy more battleships must be built, for these were the only arguments which Germany and Russia understood. The Vicar of Wisbech is not the man to put up with any nonsense from his parishioners. In the current number of his parish magazine ap- pears the complaint of one of his flock that Sun- day morning is his only chance of getting a rest, and he is then disturbed by the church bell. That," replies the vicar, is precisely why the bell is rung. I am very glad you have been roused." Mr. Horace Plunkett, Vice-President of the Department for Agriculture for Ireland, is writing a book on Ireland, the dedication of which will be:-

To my Enemies, For whom I have done much; But for them it yet remained that I should write A book. MERRYWEATHER ON WATER SUPPLY AND FIRE PROTECTION of COUNTRY MANSIONS. EXPERTS SENT TO ALL PARTS TO Report on EXISTING Arrangements. WRITE FOR PAMPHLETS: MERRYWEATHER & SONS, 63, LOKG ACRE. LONDON, W.C.

THEY TOOK H131 FOB A JOOL.—It is very well known that anything found in the streets should be taken to the nearest police-station. One day Pat found a shilling, so he took it to the station. Tho inspector on duty, not thinking it an amount worth troubling about, proposed that they should spend it. Pat being agreeable, a constable was sent to buy three pots of ale with it. When he returned he toM them that the shilling had been pronounced bud. The officer, turning to Pat, asked him if he knew it was a bad one. 11 Shure and begorra, ye blitherin' idiots," said Pat, and d'ye think Oi should ha' brought it 'ere if it bad been a good 'un ?

MISCELLANEOUS. MASHTQ A CONVIRRT.-The following strange, nnr. withal amusing, story is told of Dr. Goe, the well known Bishop of Melbourne. When he was a cum to here in England a pugilist in the parish, Jim tb" Slogger, who had never darkened a church door, called at his house with a request that he woitl,t come and baptise the infant Slogger. The embryo bishop accordingly repaired to Jim's house, but wtix surprised, on being admitted, to see Jim lock r.h" door and pocket the key. Be you the parson come to sprinkle my kid?" he asked. On the curate assenting, the pugilist continued Yer can't sprinkle that kid till you and me has had a fight, parson." The unfortunate parson protested, but, finding protest useless, "stood up" to Jim. The battle ended in a win for the representative of the "cloth," who had not forgotten his college ex- periences, and Jim, pulling himself from the floor, muttered—" He's the parson for me." Thebaptism was proceeded with, and, the story goes, Jim took to church-going from that day. DONE AT LAST.—A village innkeeper in the Mid- lands tells how he was cleverly tricked by one of his customers. One day he was boasting to a bar full of people that no one had ever been able to get the better of him, when a stranger entered, and hearing the remark, said to a neighbour, "I'll bet you a sovereign I will do him." You won't," said the landlord. I will," said the man If you'll put a sovereign under that mug and place it on that table, I will take the money without touching the mug." I I You won't trick me," said the landlord; and to let you see I am not afraid, I will put two, in fact, I will place the three sovereigns under it. There you are," he added, "all's ready," and he stood by with a smile on his face, while the others looked on, eager to see how the scene would end. Leaning under the table the man extended his hand, and presently withdrew it with three sovereigns in his palm. He showed them all round, to the won- der of everybody. The landlord, getting rather warm in his excitement, caught up tie mug, where- upon the stranger picked up the money from the table and walked out, amidst a shout of laughter as the landlord cried" Done at last." ARE You A GIRL NAMED ANN ?—Shanks is a man of theories he is continually springing them on his friends, who do not appreciate his attentions, and have been trying to upset him for a long time. The other night they succeeded. Shanks' latest was that Christian names are indicative of the general character ofthe persons who bear them. But that can't be right," objected Banks. We don't christen ourselves!" "It is quite true that our names are given us by our parents before our char- acters are developed," said Shanks, but we have all learnt something of the doctrine of heredity, and that explains it. If a man has high-flown notions he will give his offspring some grand name. The child inherits the notions from its parents, and the Chris- tian dame suits the child's character. It's as simply as can be. Can't make out why some of the clever men haven't thought of it before." But suppose a girl's name is Ann,' what then ? asked Banks. I I That's a nice short name; and, according to my theory, it indicates someone who likes things put in order-precise, definite." "That's where you are wrong," exclaimed Banks, seizing the opportunity. I I We have it on the authority of Lindley Murray and many others that an i' is an indefinite article Shanks retired in disgust. THA GREEDY LAD "-An exceptionally parsi- monious tradesman had a trowing lad as living- in apprentice, and the regulation supper of the strapping youth was bread and cheese. However, at one period, times were particularly bad, or the master said they were, which often goes for the same thing! So he averred that he could not afford to supply cheese for his apprentice's supper, but bread only. In fact, the employer was a typical York- shire bite," and said the lads should eat t'bree-ad, and look at t'chee-as In order to safeguard the cheese, he placed a small quantity in a sealed glass bottle and the lad got into the habit of rubbing his hunk of bread on the outside of the bottle, with the idea that it it imparted the staff of life" some- what of the flavour of "chee-as!" The bottle of cheese was kept in a cupboard of which the master held the key, and on one occasion he happened to oe out at supper-time with the key in his pocket. He returned whilst the apprentice was having his frugal repast, and a strange sight he beheld. The youth missing the accustomed bottle, and led away by force of habit, was rubbing his piece of bread on the cup- board door! Eh, tha' greedy lad," exclaimed his master, couldn't tha' do withayat [without] chee-as to thi sapper once in a whahle [while] P' His REVENGE.—Two spirited travellers called on one particular merchant, one of them on horseback, a plain, jovial kind of man, the other a masher,driv- ing. The one driving reaches the hotel first,aud told the ostler to resuscitate his horse, to which the ostler replied, All reet, sir." The commercial then went into the hotel. Shortly after,the other traveller came up, and the ostler,not understanding what was meant by resuscitatiug, and, forgetting the word, told the traveller bv horseback that "the flash bloke had come and told him to rosticate his horse. Would he be good enough to tell him what he meant him to do at it?" So the second traveller, thinking to have a joke, said it was to cut the horse's tail short, and paint the stump green. Oh," says the ostler, "I can just manage that very nicely; for our mestur was doing a bit o' green painting yes'day, an' 'ere's a little bit left l' ti stable;" so, of course, he did as he had been told. When the masher came out he noticed the horse's hind-quarters, and asked the ostler who had done it. The ostler replied, "Aw I "e done it." "Who told you to doit? "You told me to rosti- cate it, and I didn't know what you meant, so I axed that other traveller, andhe telled me." The masher then walked down into the stable, took his pen-knife, and nicked the other traveller's horse on both cheeks, from ear to mouth, and then drove off. The second traveller ordered his horse to be brought out, and noticing that blood was trickling down its face, and for the moment forgetting what he had told the ostler, said, Whatever's up with my horse ?" The ostler, who was considered to be a button short, re- plied, I dunno. sir, wi'out hi has brussen his face wi' laughing at that tuther beggar having his tail cut and painted green;" at which the traveller mounted and bolted out of the yard amidst the roars of laughter of the merchant and others. NOT so DIFFICULT AS IT SEEMED.—"It is strange how you can spot them if you watch for a little," said Robson. "Now, I am absolutely certain that this girl in the sailor hat—see her coming along ? I'm sure that she is going into the pawnbroker's! They were standing at the corner of a street," the shop in question was a few yards down on the other side. "Now watch. See how she stops near the door and hesitates ? She's looking round to see if anyone is taking stock of her movements. She thinks it's all right, and she darts in. There! Didn't I tell you so?" How do you manage ite asked Slocum. "I can tell them every time," con- tinued Robson, never failed once yet. Herecomps another, this young fellow bustling along. He doesn't need to look at the numbers lie knows the shop well. Yes, in he goes What did I tell you?" It seems marvellous at first," said Slocum, who had caught sight of a carriage coming down the street; "but it is very easy, after all. I could do it myself." "I don't think you can," returned Robson, rather huffy at the depreciation of his ability. I'll bet you that I can," said Slocum. See this carriage ? Well, I'll bet you 10s. that the occupant will go into the pawnbroker's. That beats your perform- ance to fits." "Done!" The two men watched the carriage, which to Robson's surprise stopped at the establishment with the three brass balls. The occupant alighted and entered. Well, you've won that fair enough, exclaimed Robson, and I'll pay up like a man. Let's go in here aud have a drink." I should like to know how you could tell that the man in the carriage would go in." he said five minutes later, when lie had paid up, and they were discussing some liquid refreshment. "I'm pretty good at it, you'll admit, but I could not do that." It's easy enough," remarked Slocum indifferently, as he finished his glass, and made towards the door. You see, I knew that the occupant of the carriage was the proprietor of the shop."

A Caution.—A Japanese proverb says The mu takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, and, finally, the drink tak" the man." APT REPLY.—"Do you really believe, Doctor Johnson," said a Lichfield lady, in the dead walk- ing after death?" "Madam," said Johnson, "I have no doubt on the subject. I have heard the Dead March in Saul." DOCTORs-A WORD WITH You.—In these ener- getic, go-ahead days, we are continually hearing of some new and curious way of making money but the following method is, perhaps, as ingenious as any previously devised A little boy entered a surgery the other day, when the village doctor was in attendance, and, marching up to him, whispered cautiously "Mease, sir, mother sent me to say as how our Lizzie's got scarlatina awful bad; and please mother wants to know how much you'll give her to spread it all over the village? Too MUCH AND Too LITTLE.—An extra fine brand of port wine was being handed round nt dinner, when the Major asked the servant: "Johann, how many bottles of this wine have we left in the cellar?" "Three, Herr Major," was the reply. When the company had dispersed, Johann was callrd over the coals, and directed in future always in answer to a similar question to state a larger figure in the presence of visitors. Some time afterwards the Major gave another dinner party, aud in answer to the question How many bottles of this sort have we in the cellar ? Johann promptly made answer "Ten thousand bottles, Herr Major." CHEEKING THE DUKE.—It is said of a certain Royal Duke that he is not in the habit of spending two- pence where a penny will do. On one wet afternoon he hailed a cab and requested to be driven to Vic- toria Station. Arrived there, he handed the cabman a shilling. Then, of course, came the inevitable. 'Ere, wot's this ? Can't you make it another tan- ner? "Certainly not," said the noble fare. "And what is more, you came the wrong way. What made you go right round Hyde Park Corner and Grosvenor Place ? Thecabby saw that he had no chance, and chaffingly replied, Wot for ? 'Cos St. James's Park is closed, that's wot for." "Closed! St. James's Park closed Why, how's that? "Oh, they say as 'ow the Dook dropped a three-penny bit a-comin' across the park last night, and the park's closed till they find it! A GENTLE REMINDBB.—The other day a little girl accompanied ber mother on a shopping expedition. At one of the shops they were about to visit the pro- prietor was in the habit of presenting the youngster with a doll as an Easter gift. As they approached the shop the little one appeared to be very uneasy. Mamma," aaid she, suppose Mr. Brown forgets my doll." Oh, he won't forget," said the lady reassuringly. But if he does," persisted the child. Well, then," said mamma, "we must jog his memory." They entered the shop, and the lady was soon deeply engrossed in her bargain-hunting busi- ness. After this was completed to her satisfaction she turned to go, whereupon the little one clambered on to a chair and tapped the proprietor rather smartly on the head with her tiny parasol. Whatever are you doing,you naughty girl?" exclaimed the mother. "I'm jogging his 'remember, said the child. No NEED TO READ BOOKS. — The agent for a handsomely illustrated book to be sold on the credit system—a feast to the intellect, and an ornament to any library—leant against the side of the house, caught his breath, clenched his fist, and looked sky- wards. "What's the matter?" asked the police- man. "I've met the meanest man," he answered. I've heard of him, and I've read about him in the papers, but I never expected to meet him face to face." How do you know he is the meanest man?" "By the way he acted. I showed him this work of art, lectured on it for half an hour, showed tbe engravings, and when I hinted that it would be a good thing to order, what do you think he said?" I don't know." He said he never bought books. He didn't have to. He just waited for some idiot oi an agent to come along and tell him all that was in 'em, and turn over the leaves while he looked at the pictures." LET WELL ALONE.—We have all met people whose pride in their own possessions is so great that they can see no charms in those of others. A youllg botanist was showing a party of ladies and gentlemeu through a conservatory, and explaining to them the properties of some of the choicest plants. Among the visitors was a would-be-young-looking middle- aged lady who, at every description, volunteered the statement that the plants and flowers she had at home were quite equal to anything exhibited here, or, indeed, anywhere. Just as they were passing a giant cactus she was heard to exclaim Well, this is nothing extraordinary. I have a cactus at home that is still larger. I planted and roared it myself." Reared it yourself," the botauist gently observed. "How remarkable! This specimen is sixty-three years old, and if yours is stilllarger-" The lady did not stay to hear anymore, butexecuted a stragotic movement to the rear. SMABT.—"Nicholas Baggott," said his wife with the accent on each syllable for good measure, you were intoxicated last night. You came up the front steps on your hauds aud knees, then stood on your head and knocked the door with your feet, and in- quired whether the Baggotts lived there." "Bosh And you stumbled on a dark flower on the carpet and nearly fell down. Tried to hang your top hat on a fly on the wall, and then asked where the nad went to. And when the baby cried you started rock- ing the cradle, singing as loud as you could By, oh, why, baby.' Recollect that?" "Recollect no- thing." I expect not. And you got on your knees and patted and rubbed the tiger skin, saying, 'Good doggy, good doggy! "I tell you I don't believe it." And you gave me a five-pound "tote and said I could get a new bonnet with it, and jiere that note is." "I tell you I don't believe it. Something strange. That note looks kind of natural and familiar. But I wasn't drunk." "Of course it looks familiar. And you said to my poor dear ma, Mother, you've got to stay with us till the spring is over. "Yes, you did," said the old lady. "Ah, yes—yes—I see—I was very drunk." How TO OBTAIN STATISTICS.—The other day a reporter put an innocent and inconspicuous little advertisement announcing that he had found a pocketbook containing a considerable sum of money, which he would be pleased to return to the owner if the latter would call at a certain place. During the next four days the reporter was visited by 318 per- sons, of whom 317, on being asked if they had lost a red Morocco pocket book containing some visiting cards, postage stamps, a newspaper clipping, and £37 in cash, replied that they could not tell a lie, they had." The three hundred and eighteenth person, an elderly woman with a thin nMO and a mole on her chin, thought that there was nearer J640 than JE37 in the pocket book, because she had J646 when she got to town, and the purchases which she made (a complete list of which she recited with great earnestness) came to very little over £5. The reporter was compelled in the interest of strict veracity to state that he hadn't found any such pocket book. The experience which he gained dur- ing those four days convinced the journalist that appearance are very deceptive, and that many people who seem poor, or even pennyless, are in the habit, when'er they take their walks abroad, of canying considerable sums of money with them. NOT* THE SORT OF BBEAK ONE WOULD LIKE.—A good and true story is told of the mayor of a pro- vincial city, who was a stout man with such broad shoulders and ample girth, that an ordinary floor shook when he walked across it. One day, while descending the staircase of his houRe, ho slipped and plunged down to the landing, falling heavily. As soon as he could regain his footing, ho walked back to his wife's room 3wllighted a candle. "I heard something break on the stairs when I fell," he ex- claimed, and I want to find out how much damage was done." Half-an-hour afterwards he returned to his wife's room with the candle. I have looked up and down the he said, "from top to bottom, and I do not find anything out of gear yet I am certain that I heard something break." The next morning he lighted the candle again and made a prolonged investigation oftheatairs,and even went into the cellar to ascertain if the iron post under- neath hadgivenway. His search was without result. The house seems to be all right," he said to his wife, "yet 1 am certain that I heard something break." In the course of a week he suffered from pain in his chest, and asked his wife to rub him with embrocation. She complied with the request, but he fairly howled with pain at the first stroke, and begged her to stop. His wife sent a messenger at once for the family physician, who soon entered the house. He examined the patient, and exclaimed sharply, "My dear man, what has happened to you? Two of your ribs are broken, and a third is injured." With a look of intense relief, the injured man pain- fully raised himself in bed. "I told you a week ago," he said to his wife, 10 a triumphant tone, that I heard something break. J was absolutely certain of it." and he sank back with a sigh, and a mind evidently relieved by the discovery. Two broken ribs would have given most men something else to think about.

Everybody's Mine.—" Mine own."

STOP A COUGH IN ONE NIGHT A DOCTOR S TESTIMONY. VENO'S LIGHTNING COUGa CURE is a scien- tific remedy, remarkable for its brilliant cures of coughs bronchitis, asthma, catarrh, influenza and children's coughs, far superior to ordinary cough mixtures, or any of the emulsions. George Knox, M.D., 256 Second Avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa., writes Veno's Lightning Cough Cure excels in chronic coughs and bronchitis, and is especially safe for children." Price Is lid and 2s 9d. Sold everywhere by chemists and medicine vendors Rebecca Florence Elton, an Islington llurse, like most women, was in the habit of holding pinsin her mouth. She died of peritonitis, and at the inquest it was stated that a pin w»* found lodged in her stomach. Richard Crumpton (35) chemical furnaceman, lat Bank, Oldbury, struck his wife on the head with a hammer during a quarrel, and the blow proved fatal

NOW OPEN. VictoriaLendingLibrary AND Fancy Goods Depot. W. JONES736 QUEEN ST. RHYL Has a choice selection of NEW BOOKS at discount prices, suitable for holiday reading, &c., also a great variety of PLAIN and FANCY STATIONERY Leather and Fancy Goods, Local Views, Albums, &c. Lending Library Terms :—Single volume, 2d Weekly subscription, 6d; One month, Is 9d; Three months, 38 6d One year, 10s 6d. All the latest publications. London and Provincial Newspapers, Magazines, &c. supplied to order. Orders for PRINTING and BOOKBINDING promptly attended to. uni)a gtrbtceg, c. ENGLISH WESLEYAN CHAPEL BRIGHTON ROAD, RHY L. FREE SEATS. Collection at each Service* Morning at 11. Evening at 6-30. Preachers Next Sunday: At 11-REV JOHN WESTLAKE. At 6-30—REV. C. J. STUART (Pastor). Evening Service WEDNKSDAY. ENGLISH PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH WELLINGTON ROAD, RHYL. REV. J. VERRIER JONES (Pastor). Will preach on Sunday. Services, Morning at 11; Evening at 6-30. Collection after each Service. 614 CHRIST CHURCH, ENGLISH CONGREGATIONAL, WATER STREET. Preacher for Next Sunday— REV. E. E. INGHAM, Pastor, Services—11 a.m. and 6-30 p.m. (609 | COLUMBIA DISC | f USE Indestructible Fla.t Record.. ORAND PRIZE, PARIS, 1900, S Improved Concert Sound Box. ? Fibre Gears. S c Noiseless Motors. ► f Accessible Working Parts. < £6 6s. and £4 4s. ? S RftTH the £ 8,6s. and 4s. machines use ROTH 1 Of I n 7-lnch and 10-inch Disc Records. LARGE ASSORTMENT OF > C COLUMBIA DISC RECORDS. > 7-inch size 2/- each. 10-inch size 4/- each. < FULL LINE OF CYLINDER QRAPHOPHONES. < Write /or Catalogue 20." ( > COLUMBIA PHONOGRAPH CO., Gen'l., } ? 122, Oxford Street, London, W. 1 w.M Worth a Guinea a Box y JO FOR ALL Biliousand Nervous Disorders Sick Headache, Constipation Wind and Pains in Stomach Impaired Digestion, Disordered Liver, AND Female Ailments ANNUAL SALESIX MILLION BOXES In Boxes, Is. 1 d, and 2s. 9d. each, with full directions. The Is box contains 56 pills. Prepared only by the Proprietor— THOMAS BEECHAM, ST. HELENS LANCARSHIRE Recommended and Used by all good Nurses. HOLLOWS « OINTlVIENT IS A HOUSEHOLD NECESSITY, For there is hardly an Ailment or Disease (requiring external treatment) which it will not cure or relieve. ARE YOU TROUBLED With Bronchitis, Asthma, Hoarseness, Influenza, Sore Throat, Quinsy, Cramp, Stiff Joints, Glandular Swellings, Piles, Fistulas, &c.? HOLLOWAY'S OINTMENT WILL CURE YOU. Its soothing and healing properties are truly wonderful, and it has proved efficient after all other treatment has failed. FOR CHILBLAINS, CHAPPED HANDS, BURNS, SCALDS, CUTS, BRUISES, BOILS, ABSCESSES, GATHERINGS, SCURVY, RINGWORM, ECZEMA— IN SHORT, ALL SKIN DISEASES- IT CANNOT SF EQUALLED. May be used with perfect safety by The Young, the Old and the Invalid. HOLLOWAY'S PILLS AND OINTMENT Are Manufactured only at 78, New Oxford St., Loader Sold 3 all Chemists and Medicine VeDCIgn. Fred Wallis, Auctioneer and Valuer, Accountant, House, Estate, and Insurance Agent. Collector of Income Tax for the Parishes of Rhuddlan (Rhyl) and St. Asaph. Furnished and Unfurnished Houses to Let on application. Rents collected. Town Hall Buildings,Wellington-road Rhyl, And at High-street, St. A ia,3h. 9P3 G. Perkins, Auctioneer and Valuer House, Estate & Insurance Agent, BRYNFFYNNON HOUSE,ABERGELE Auction and Private Sales of Property and Furniture, Cash advances if required. Immediate Settlements. Valuation for Probate or Mortgage skiltully prepared. Hotel and Stock-in-Trade Valuer. General Arbitrator. Estates carefully managed. Rents collected, House and Apartment Agency. Agent to the chief Fire, Life and Accident Insurance Companies. (267 Frank Jewell, AUCTIONEER, House and Estate Agent, Valuer, Life, Fire, Accident, and Plate Glass Insurance Agent. Offices: Grey Mount, Prestatyn. MESSRS. Roberts and Co., AUCTIONEERS & VALUERS, Surveyors, House, Land and Estate Agents, Mortgage Brokers, Probate Mortgage and Agricultural Valuers Fire and Life Agents, OFFICES— WELLINGTON CHAMBERS, RHYL, (984 Mr Jos. Williams, AUCTIONEER, & VALUER. Accountant, Property and Insurance Agent. GENERAL CERTIFICATE HOLDER Appointed by His Honour Judge Horatio Lloy d,K SALES BY PUBLIC AUCTION personally con. ducted on reasonable Terms, with immediate Cash Settlements. VALUATIONS AND INVENTORIES prepared for Mortgage, Probate, Partnership, Transfer oi Tenancy and other purposes. Representative of the leading Life, Fire, Acci- dent, Fidelity, Plate-glass, Employers' Liability, Burglary, Licences, and Live Stock Companies. Estate Agent in all its branches. Mortgages procured. Registrar of Marriages Private Address Peterboro' House, The Grove. Offices County Chambers, 51 Kinmel Street, Rhyl. Wallis and Scott, (Late SARSON & SCOTT Auctioneers and Valuers. Mortgageis Procured. Insurances Effected, Rents Collected. Valuations Executed. Sales by Public Auction of Land and Houso Properties, Farming Stocks, Household Furniture, &c., conducted, with Immediate Cash Settlements. Trustees under the Deeds of Arrangements Act 1888. General Certificate Holders, appointed bj Sir Horatio Lloyd, Kt. Offices High Street, Prestatyn, (7804 Greenhalgh & Geary, FRANCIS GEARY, A.A.I., Auctioneers, House and Estate Agents, ValuerSj Accountants, & Insurance Agents, Mortgages negotiated and Adramees arranged upoi Approved Securities. Balancing, Auditing, and Posting of Tradesmen's Booki Authorised to levy Distraints for Rent. PROMPT CASH SETTLEMENTS OFFICES & SALE ROOMS- QUEEN-S ARCADE & AUCTION MABl MARKET STREET, RHYL. Sales by Auction, and Private Contract if Preferred Furniture, Stock in Trade, &c Registry toi Letting Farms, Business Premises, tiousei (Varnished and Unfurnished), and Apartments and Collection of Rents. sposal of Businesses and Stocks without publiciti Valuations for Probate and Administration. Insurance of Life Property, and Plate Glass. The Oldest Established Auction and Estate Agency Business in Rhyl. Hubert R. Holbeche, Successor to Messrs Wm. Hall, and the Late T. C. Amos. AUCTIONEER, House, Land, and Estate Agent, Surveyor, Valuer, & Architect. Sales by Auction and Valuations of Property, Furniture, Farming Stock, &c. Valuations for Probate, Mortgage, Transfer, &c., Properties and Businesses Sold by Private Treaty, Letting and Collection of Rents of Residences, Houses, Shops, Farms, &c., Furnished and Unfurnished. Mortgages negotiated. Inventories taken and checked. Properties and Estates carefully managed. Building Estates laid out. Surveys, Maps, &c., for any purpose. Insurances effected through all principal offices. The Auction, Estate, and Survey Offices MARKET STREET, RHYL. And ST. ASAPH. (626 BEN. WILLIAMS, Kinmel Chambers, Kinmel Street RHYL Is prepared to arrange for The Sale of Furniture and other Effects Either by PRIVATE TREATY or by PUBLIC AUCTION. Moderate Charges and Prompt SGUIOMgn to 0 all transaction*. I Scholastic jflotíc t EL WY HALL, HOARDING AND DAY SCHOOL FOR GIRLS Principals— MISS BEST, B.A., London (Holloway College); MISS LEY, Mathematical Tripos, Cambridge (Successors to MRS GRIFFITH JONES) assisted by Competent Resident and Visiting Teachers. Prospectus and references on application. Conversational German and French (Parisian) from Resident Mistresses. ARCVILLE LADIES' COLLEGE EAST PARADE, RHYL. Principal—MISS MERCIER. Assisted by her niece, Miss Robinson (Certifi- ca ted:Senior Cambridge andLondonMatriculation) and fully qualified resident Foreign Governesse and visiting Professors Pupils may be prepared for London Matriculation, Universities, Locals, South Kensington (Science and Art), Royal College and Academy of Music, and Trinity College, Music. French and German taught (Conversationally and Grammatically), and all styles of Drawing and Painting. Special Class-room for Preparatory Pupils. Reference kindly permitted to the Bishop of Bangor and parents of pupils. Autumn term—September 23. FAIRHOLME, FAIRFIELD AVENUE RHYL. Principals THE MISSES ROBERTS. Assisted by qualified Resident Governesses and Visiting Masters. Pupils prepared for all Examinations. Prospectuses and Refe ences on Application ST. OSWALD'S, RUSSELL ROAD RHYL. Principals THE MISSES REES Cambridge Hon. and S. Kensington Schoo of Arts Certs. French — Paris. Assisted by highly-certificated English and Foreiga Resident Governesses and Visiting Professors. Preparation for all Exams. Special care to delicate children Highes references to Clergy and Parents of Children. Prospectus on Application. CHURTON VILLA Boarding and Day School for Young Ladles. Principal: MRS JOHN LUCAS, A.C.P. (Honors) Special Drawing Prize Holder. Pupils successfully prepared for any public exami- nations in English, &c.<pnr M usic. Drawing, Painting, and other Arts taught. Juvenile and Adult Dancing Classes. Reference is permitted to Venerable Archdeacon Perowne, D.D., and others. Half Term Commences Nov 4 MISS CHARLOTTE JONES, Licentiate of the Royal Academy of Music, RHYL AND DENBIGH, PIANOFOKTE-PLAYING, HARMONY &c. Pupil most successful at the Examinations of R.A.M. Incorporated Society of Musicians, and Trinity College, London. Address MISS CHARLOTTE JONES,L.R.A.M DENBIGH KENMARE, SOUTH AVENUE, E OFF BUTTERTON ROAD. DAY AND BOARDING SCHOOL FOR CIRLS. Principals MRS. & MISS BRATTAN. Assisted by qualified Governesses. 8 Fees from date of entrance. Governess-Student required, daily or resident. 59 Winter term commences Sept 17th, 1902. ORIEL HOUSE SCHOOL. PREPARATORY DAY AND BOARDING SCHOOL FOR BOYS FROM SiX TO TWELVE YEARS OF AGE. KINDERGARTEN GLASS. For Prospectus apply to Lady Principal. MIDDLE-CLASS EDUCATION. F. WELSH, B.A Course of Inøtrnction: ENGLIS SUBJECTS CLASSICS, MATHEMATICS, FRENCH, BOOK- KEEPING, AND SHORTHAND. BOARDERS RECEIVED PRIVATE TUITION 1 Fall particulars on application. Address—31 WATER STREET, RHYL Winter Term—September 17. RHYL COUNTY SCHOOL. Chairman of Governors R. LLEWELYN JONES, ESQ., C.C. Vice-Chairman S. PERKS, ESQ., C.C. Headmaster: I W. A. LEWIS, M.A. (Oxford), B.A., London I The New Buildings, which are large and com- modious, are situated in Grange Road. For aU particulars apply to the Headmaster, or the Clerk to the Governors, i J. ROBERTS JONES, Solicitor Rhyl- HANDEL HOUSE SCHOOL, k HIGH STREET, RHYL. r Speolal Subjeots Music and Danolng- Senior Classes or Private Lessons. Piano, Violin, Mandoline, Banjo, &c. Dressmaking, Cooking. Shorthand, Typewriting. Drawing, Painting. Languages French, German. Prospectuses and further particulars may be obtained from MRS. ROBERTS, Principal. 48 MRS AND MISS GANDON TEACHERS OF DANCING & CALISTHENICS. Schools and Families attended The latest fashionable dances taught Private lessons by arrangement "AVONDALE," CRESCENT ROAD. (195 ST. ASAPH COUNTY SCHOOL. (Under the 52 and 53 Viet., c. 40). Chairman of the Governors — SIR W. GRENVILL WILLIA.MS, BART, Bodelwyddan. Head Master—WILLIAM EASTERBY, LL., B.A. Second Master—J. H. ARNOLD, B.A., University Durham. Drawing Master—J. MULLIGAN. Science Master-W. B. WOODALL, University London Drill Sergeant-SERGEANT-INSTRUCTOR EVANS Royal Welsh Fusiliers; and other Masters, &c. Pupils are prepared for all Professional and University iiixaminations, and there is also a modern side for a thorough Commercial Education, French and German being special. There are 8 Free Scholarships and 16Bursaries the Scholarships being tenable for two years. The buildings are large, healthy and commodiotI. erected in 1881, and surrounded by six acres of playin fields. Terms for Day Scholars, £6 per annum, payable iff advance terminally 1 For Boarders on application to the Head Master.