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The Weekly News and Visitors' Chronicle for Colwyn Bay Colwyn Llandrillo Conway Deganwy and Neighbourhood

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"'---,Abergele Sparks.I

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Abergele Sparks. I The Imperial Parliament, House of Lords and all, may go on strike to-morrow, if they feel that way inclined. We can manage our own, and the nation's affairs as well, if need be, without their aid. Henceforward Mr. J. Herbert Roberts, M.P., will have to lie low and say nuffink. Without beating about the bush any longer, let me say that Abergele has invented and patented a House of Commons of its own. Nemesis is on the track of the Urban District Council. Its doom is at hand. They, like the Parish Council, have done their best, but this is an age of progress, which is another way of saying that in future the town will be governed in the true Imperialistic style. The first session of the new ruling power was held in the spacious Lecture Room of the Ship Cafe, on Friday evening, under the Speakership of the Rev. J. H. Davies, who, by the way, would make as fine a politician as he is a pulpit man, which is saying a great deal. And now let me introduce to your notice the rival forces in the newly constituted local Parliament. Government—Prime Minister and Leader of the House, Mr W. J. Evans Chancellor of the Exehequer, Mr T. Samuel; Foreign Secre- tary, Mr H. Dyer; Colonial Secretary, Mr R. Isaac Jones Home Secretary, Mr Robert Roberts Pre- sident of the Board of Trade, Mr W. Vaughan Secretary for War, Mr Moss Jones Secretary for Ireland, Mr Peter Jones Postmaster General, Mr David Davies Minister of Education, Mr R. P. Chambers. Opposition-Leader and Ex-Prime- minister, Mr W. P. Morris, who had the following gentlemen as his supporters, viz., Messrs Tom Owen, A. P. Leigh, H. E. Pritchard, Isaac Morris, David Thomas, John Davies, Edward Williams, R. O. Roberts, J. H. Lewis, H. E. Thomas, and W. E. Jones. Mr Richard Roberts was appointed Ser- geant-at-Arms (unsalaried). In the unavoidable absence of the Prime Minister, the hon. member for Berthtopic (Mr. J. R. Ellis), took the rein of Leadership in his hands with much dignity, tact and courtesy. I doubt very much whether Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman could give him many points in the art of handling men and matters of State. Mr. Ellis is a born strategist and statesman. I shall have to bring his superlative qualities as a politician to the notice of Mr. Lloyd George. After the speaker had taken the Chair and read the Rules of the House, hon. members were directed to ask any questions they liked from the Ministers. And then the fun began in earnest. Questions relevant and irrelevant were asked with a rapidity that would have done credit to a Maxim gun in action. But the Cabinet Ministers were in fine form in attack and defence. Question time being over, Mr. J. R. Ellis proceeded to introduce the great Bill of the Session to the House. The Act was cited as the Municipal Reform Act (Abergele and Pensarn Urban District Council), 1907." The purport of this Act is to secure (a) reform of the present Acts which pertain to local govern- ment at Abergele and Pensarn and Eb) to give the necessary power to raise the necessary loans for the carrying out of the reforms cited in the Bill. In propounding the pros and cons of the Bill, Mr. Ellis was lucidity personified, although the Speaker had to call him to order when resorting to poetry as an auxiliary to his speech. The main clauses in the Bill are those which have for their object the purchasing of the Gas and Water Works by the Council, as well as the construction of an Electric Railway Line between Abergele and Pensarn. The mover of the Bill found an able supporter in Mr. T. Samuel. Mr. W. P. Morris, as Leader of the Opposition, opposed the Bill tooth and nail, and in this he was ably supported by the hon. member for Cynlas- cum-Water-Street (Mr. David Long Thomas). The hon. member for the Gele Dam-Cum-Bridge- Street (Mr. J. H. Lewis), moved that a further discussion on the Bill be adjourned for a thousand years. But as nobody in the House wanted to live so long in such a wicked world as this, the amendment was rejected with well-merited scorn and derisive laughter. Ultimately the House stood adjourned for a fortnight. And now let me say that this mock Parliament sitting was one of the most enjoyable and interest- ing meetings of its kind I have ever attended in Abergele. Especially was this the case during question time, when the interrogations were as side-splittingly mirthful and ludicrous as they were spontaneous. Yes, a genuine mock Parlia- ment business knocks your usual dreary debating society proceedings into a shapeless cocked hat. The room was literally crammed, and no one, I should say, enjoyed the fun better than did Mr Crabbe, who knows a good thing when he sees it Well, he saw and heard it on this occasion. A male correspondent writes to ask me on what grounds the Suffragettes are clamouring so per- sistently for votes. Such glaring ignorance only goes to show how very little we men know about this great question of the day. For one thing, my correspondent ought to know that the women of England lose fifty millions of hairpins and wear three millions of birds' wings in their hats in the course of a year. These two qualifications alone ought to be sufficient to give every woman in the land two Parliamentary votes with a bonus and a gold medal every time she asks for them. Right is right, but wrong is no woman's rights. The ladies-bless 'em I wish I were single again. When my time comes to shuffle off this mortal mortal coil, I hope Providence will decree that I shall breathe my last at home or in gaol, rather than in the St. Asaph or any other workhouse. Oh, the inhumanity of some of these Guardians! Quite recently an old Abergele resident, aged 81, was obliged, owing to infirmity, to seek parish relief. His case came before the St. Asaph Guard- ians in due course. Some of these kind-hearted souls gave it as their opinion that eighteen-pence a week was ample relief for the luckless old man. Others thought that he ought to be able to jog along on 2s. Eventually, after a searching inves- tigation and great deliberation, it was decided to grant him the magnificent dole of 2s. 6d. per week. Now, is it humanly possible for a man or woman to keep body and soul together on a pittance of half-a-crown a week ? Certainly not; and the heartless man who suggested the possibility of it wonld have mighty little of my sympathy if he died in a hovel, for want of bread. It is, I think, an indisputed and recognised fact that farmers on the whole are notoriously close fisted, and for that reason I would advise every voter not to return them as representatives of the poor at future elections of Guardians. Of course, there are thousands of kind-hearted farmers throughout Wales, but, take my word for it, there are not very many of them on our Boards of Guardians. There are in the Bible 86 books, 1,189 chapters 31,173 verses, 773,697 words, and 3,566,480 letters, Add all these figures together and multiply them by 10, and you will be able to arrive at the exact number of words used by Miss Pankhurst in an hour whilst denouncing Mr. Asquith as an enemy of her sex in general and the Suffragettes in parti- cular. Not a bad exercise for the lungs, is it ? The Abergele Council met in Committee on Monday evening, to further discuss the ques- tion of purchasing the Abergele Gasworks. The result of the deliberations was that the Gas Company be asked if they are prepared to sell the works, and if so, at what price. Let us hope that something more than "gas" will come out of the negotiations. Commenting upon the great fire at Rhyl on Sun- day, a gentleman from that town gave unstinted praise to the Abergele Fire Brigade, who, he said, were the smartest on the scene of destruction. Although the Rhuddlan Brigade had been given the alarm 20 minutes before our men, the latter were on the spot five minutes after the former, in

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"'---,Abergele Sparks.I