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Abergele Sparks.

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Abergele Sparks. The members of the Abergele Girls' Guild, to the number of about ninety, were entertained to a grand tea at the Ship Cafe, on Thursday after- noon,, by the Misses Roberts, Tan'rallt Hall. Needless to say, the young damsels, in whom the Misses Roberts take the keenest interest, en- joyed themselves right heartily. Those who -waited,at the tables were:-Misises Edith Wynne, Mosseley Hill; Jenney Jones, Tan'irallt Farm; M. Williams, Compton House; Blodwen Pritchard, Chapel-street; Minnie Jones, Rose Cottage; Jenny Hughes, Gele. avenue; E. Roberts, Isfryn; Annie Parry, Chapel-street; Nellie and Katie Millward Miss Gabriel, Manchester House; Miss Williams, Bodtegwel; Miss Dora Jones, Rose Cottage; Miss Jones, Bodeivion; Miss Davies, China Warehouse; Miss Hughes, Gele-avenue; Miss Jennie Jones, Miss Crescent; Mrs. Morgan Davies, Gllascoed House; Miss Ellis, Berth- topic, and Miss Jones, Eirianfa. The tea being over, the girls retired to the Guild Room, for the purpose of indulging in a new game, which, for a better name, I will call "Pinning the Donkey," at the conclusion of which Mrs. Morgan Davdeis moved a hearty vote of thanks to the Misses Roberts for their kind- ness in treating the girls to such a splendid re- pest. This was seconded by Miss Ellis, Berth- topic. Miss Roberts, in acknowledging the vote of thanks, said she hoped the gdrls would attend the weekly meetings of the Guild as regularly as possible. Question What is the difference between the Abergele town clock and Amalgamated Society of Railway Servants? Answer The former won't strike when it is wanted, and the latter are not wanted to strike. What has become of the new market scheme, the County Court scheme, the golf club scheme, &c., &c. ? Let's blame the Czar! A DREAM.—Whenever I happen to eat a few slices of pickled beetroot for supper, it's a fore- gone conclusion that I shall have a funny dream when I go upstairs for my night's roost. I did so on Monday night, with the following result. I dreamt that "Catrin" had recently obtained a divorce from "Ned Llwyd,' on the grounds that he had been caught in the act of kissing the Empress of China. After the decree had been made absolute, "Catrin," the sweetest of all women on this terrestrial globe, gave her hand and heart, body and soul to myself, with the re- sult that we immediately, and with malice aforethought, travelled by motor-car up to Lon- don, for the set purpose of being spliced in St. Paul's Cathedral, where thousands of the elite of Great Britain and Ireland, as well as those of the Channel Islands, had come to see the fun. The Archbishop of Canterbury officiated, and sr the business commenced in earnest when his Grace asked "Catrin," who was given away like a present with a pound of tea, by her uncle, Prince Patrick McDuff. of Moehdrepabopie- crust, if she would "take this man to be your lawful wedded husband." "Catrin" replied, with emphasis, "Of course I will. That's what I came here for. Do you think that I came all the way from Welsh Wales to have a look at a live archbishop and living pictures and the Chamber of Horrors?" On hearing such straightforward language, a certain Royal Prin- cess, who shall be nameless. burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. "There's no- thing to laugh at," interrupted the gallant "Catrin," who treated the company to such a characteristic flow of eloquence as to simply bring down the house; so much so that a certain genial Sovereign laughed so heartily that he fell to the ground writhing in a fit of spasms. But fifteen quacks 'soon put his Majesty right again. Whilst this was going on, I passed the time away in thinking, thinking, thinking. I said to myself, "If this woman can carry on like this in the presence of Royalty and other notabilities in St. Paul's Cathedral, what will she do when I take her home?" And it struck me that I had been a bit too hasty in buying that gold ring, which I held in my trembling hand, ready to adorn the hand of the supposed angel who stood by my side with so majestic a mien. Neverthe- less, I had to see the thing through, and my rigmarolic reflections were cut short by the Arch- bishop commanding me to be up and doing, or words to that effect. So I up and did, to the tune and fee of ten guineas and costs. Of course, there was the usual lot of tipping to do, and when "Catrin" offered a threepenny piece to the caretaker, that important function- ary turned up his nose disdainfully, and told his would-be benefactress to. save the preferred piece of silver for a rainy day, or else send it on to the Denbigh Infirmary to endow a bed. "Catrin" instinctively turned round and handed the coin to the Archbishop, who pocketed it in- stanter without a blush on his smiling physiog- nomy. But I must hurry up and get on with the wedding dresses, trusting you will forgive me for any mistakes I may make in describing them. for this is a tricky work of art. The bride looked charming in a sailor-made gown of pea-soup green, trimmed with red satan (or satin) and scallopped with Brussels sprouts (or lace) from the left shoulder to the pink pimple on her right cheek. The bodice was of gravy blue crepe de chingaling, vandyked with steel skin row sets, puffed at the starboard cor- ners with shiffy chiffon, embroidered with helio- tripe piffiifliers-with bonnet to match. She carried a bouquet of weeping willows and nettles, the gift of Sir Tommy Lipton. The bridesmaid (Duchess of Penmachno) wore a similar dress, but without the pifflifliers. The best man (Duke of Llanfiha:ngel-yn- Mochinant) was dressed in a fashionable tight- fitting suit of yellow Chinese silk, trimmed with orange blossoms and scrubbing brushes. When the brilidal party was leaving the Cathe- dral, the organist struck up the "Dead March." That's all. I then woke. Is it beyond the powers of human intelligence to devise a big scheme on a small scale by which a mutually satisfactory settlement can be arrived at between the Council and Mr. H. E. Prichard with regard to that gentleman's plans for erecting new buildings on the site of the old butcher's shop in Water-street? The old build- in a' which is now a complete .structural wreck, is a positive eyesore, standing as it does prac- tically in the centre of the town and on the main road. I hold no brief for either party, but I will give it as my opinion that the present deadlock should not pervail when the question at issue is only a matter of a few pounds. Brieflly the facts are these. Mr. Prichard, I .gather, is anxious to erect two new shops and houses on the site alluded to, and is willing to forego the right he possesses of building a bed- room above" the archway leading .to Mount Pleasant, on condition, of course, that the Coun- cil compensate him with a sum of money com- mensurate with the loss he would entail by sacrificing such a room. Two or three months ago the "Council offered Mr. Prichard £20. as compensation, but this was refused, and, as far as I am aware, from that day to this nothing at all has been attempted by either side with a view of effecting a compromise. Now, to make matters worse, one of the oldest and most Te- spected tradesmen in the town, being under notice to leave his present place of business, which, apparently, is to be converted into a new Post Office, is waiting for one of the contem- plated new shops to be built, in order that he .may carry on his business and secure a home. Gentlemen, is it too much to ask of you to do something, and to do it quickly? You are men of business, and by settling this matter you would not only enhance your reputations, but you would also be indirectly assisting the brick- 11 layers and joiners in building up something which would add dignity to Water-street, and be an acquisition to Abergele. I understand that preparations are being made to form a debating society in connection with the Ship Cafe, and that, during the winter months, some of our own and other public men will deliver lectures on the most interesting questions of the day. Hear, hear! Let our young men have something besides billiards and football on the brain. < Mr. Edward Parry, Peel-street, has been hon- oured with an invitation from the Countesis of Dundonald to visit Gwrych Castle with his choir in order to sing selections of Welsh music on the occasion of Lord Cochrane's coming of age celebrations; The inhabitants of Towyn, Abergele, have de- cided to present Lord Cochrane with a magni- ficent field glass to commemorate his coming of age. One of the Colwyn Bay quill-drivers told me on Saturday that most of the Rhyl young men were built 001 exceedingly inconsistent lines. And here's the way his explained the matter. "In summer, when business is pretty brisk, the Rhyl toffs smoke cigarettes and speak English; in winter, when money is scarce, they smoke threepenny shag and speak Welsh." Personally, I think the same remark applies to a great many of ithe Bay mashers as well, but with this difference, that they also. drink sixpenny ale in stead of whiskey and soda. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. "Marie Quarrellie.Your short story is a very good one. But you make the hero kiss the heroine a bit too often. Fancy ten thousand kisses in three days! No wonder the poor fel- low went clean off his head. The wonder is that he lived to tell the tale. "Me Ho ley."—I read your essay on earth- quakes in the hearing of our cat, with the result that she was seized with such a "side-splitter" that the poor thing died on the spot. "Greasy Grocer."—The sample of "pure" but- ter you sent me was a veritable giant killer. If you have any more of the same stuff on hand, please submit it to the notice of the Conway Board of Guardians, who wasted a lot of time at their last meeting in trying to solve the prob- lem of how to abate the flies nuisance at the Workhouse. A pound of that speciality of yours hung on a string in the Union would kill every fly within a radius of half-a-mile. "Conger Eel."—I think that with a little luck it is possible to get fish inside of a tin of sal- mon sometimes. I cannot tell you what Chicago ham and chicken is made out of. I've never been there. Eat Welsh mountain mutton, my boy. That's made out of sheep. "Papa."—It wouldn't cost you much to bring your boy up as a joiner and wood carver. Send him to "Ned Llwyd" as a lead pencil sharpener for a start. A POSTCARD TO MR. LLOYD-GEORGE. Dear Sir,—You will remember that Admiral Togo's signal to his fleet before the battle of the Sea of Japan ran thus: -"The destiny of our Empire depends upon this action. You. are all expected to do your utmost." Now, sir, in view of a probable railway strike, the destiny of in- dustrial England for a long time to come de- pends upon your umrivalle.d genius as a media- tor. If you can avert this threatened calamity, you will have earned the never-dying gratitude of the nation. Heaven help you SEARCHLIGHT.

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