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♦ BON-MOT OF MR. PISCATORY.- "In Louis Philippe's time," said Mr Piscatory the other day at a, dinner of the Elysee Bour- bon, to his dear friend Brougham, "Gulzotand I used to row in tha same ooat." at Vhich the noble convert to despotism ob- served, Aye, aye but not with the same sculls I" -Globe. THE BEGGING-LETTER WRITER —He has besieged my door, &t all hours of the day and night; he has fought my servant; he has lain in ambush for me, going out and coming in he has followed me out of town into the country; he has appeared at provincial hotels, where I have been staying for only a few hours; he has written .to me from immense distances, when I have been out of England. He has fallen sick; he has died, and been buried: he has come to life again, and again departed from this transitory scene; he has been his own son, his own mother, his own baby, his idiot brother, his uncle, his aunt, his aged grandfather. He has wanted a great coat, to go to India in a pound, to set him up in life for ever a pair of boats to take him to the coast of China a hat, to get him into a perma- nent situation under Government. He has frequently been exactly seven-and-sixpence short of independence. He has had such openings at Liverpool—posts of great trust and con- fidence in merchants' houses, which nothing but seven-and- sixpence was wanting to him to secure-that I wonder he is not mayor of that flourishing town at the present moment. The natural phenomena of which he has been the victim, are -of a most astounding nature. He has had two children, who have never grown up who have never had anything to cover them at night; who have been continually driving him mad, by asking in vain for food who have never come out of fevers and measles (which, I suppose, has accounted for his fuming his letters with tobacco smoke as a disinfectant) who have never changed in the least degree, through fourteen long re- volving years. As to his wife, what that suffering woman has undergone nobody knows. She has always been in an interest- tng situation through the same long period, and has never been confined yet. His devotion to her has been unceasing. He has never cared for himself; he could have perished-he would rather, in short-but was it not his Christian duty as a man, a husband, and a father, to write begging letters when he looked at her? (He has usually remarked that he would call in the evening for an answer to this -question.) -Dickens's "Household Words. SLAVERY AND MISSIONs.-The following astounding adver- tisement appears in the Religious Herald, a Baptist paper, pub- lished in Richmond, Virginia Who wants 35,000 dollars in property ?—I am desirous to spend the balance of my life as a missionary (!!) if the Lord permit, and therefore offer for sale my farm-the Vineyard adjacent to Williamsburg, and containing about 600 acres-well watered, well wooded, and abounding in marl-together with all the crops, and stock, and utensils thereon. Also, my house and lot in town, fitted up as a boarding establishment, with all the furniture belonging to ■ the same. Also, about forty servants, mostly young, and likely, < and rapidly increasing in number and value (!!). To a kind master I would put the whole property at the very reduced price of 35,000 dollars, and arrange the payments entirely to ■ suit the purchaser, provided the interest be annually paid.— SCERVANT JONES." A SUBSTITUTE.—An Irish officer rang his bell so often that no servant the landlady could hire would stop in the house, or could stand the running upstairs. The officer, consequently, received notice to quit, which being unwilling to do, and find- ing the cause of warning, he promised never to ring his bell again upon this understanding he retired to his apartment. In about half an hour the whole house was alarmed by the report of pistols in the captain's room. Up rushed the land- lady, the lodgers, and the servants, and burst open the door, in the full expectation of some dreadful catastrophe. Coffee," coolly eiid the captain. On their expressing surprise, the lodger cried, Why, as you did not like me to ring the bell, of course I must find a substitute." Punch says that the object of Mr. Stuart Wortley's Marriage Bill is to spike an ecclesiastical canon. GENTLLITY.—Gentility is the death and destruction of social happiness amongst the middle classes in England. It destroys naturalness, if I may coin such a word, and kindly sympathies. The object of life, as I take it, is to be friendly with everybody. As a rule, and to a philosophical cosmopolite, every man ought to be welcome, I do not mean as to your intimacy or affections, but to your society; as there is, if we would or could but dis- cover it, something notable, something worthy of observation, of sympathy, of wonder, and amusement in every fellow mor- tal. Consider how many a good fellqw you may shut out and sneer upon what an immense deal of pleasure, frankness, kindness, good fellowship, we forego for the sake of our con- founded gentility and respect for outward show.-Punch. THE BEGGING-LETTER WRITER'S FAREWELL.—Sometimes, when he is sure that I have found him out, and that there is no chance of money, he writes to inform me that I have got rid of him at last. He has enlisted into the Company's service, and is off directly-but he wants a cheese. He is informed by the ser- geant that it is essential to his prospects in the regiment that he should take out a single-Gloucester cheese, weighing from twelve to fifteen pounds. Eight or nine shillings would buy it. He does not ask for money, after what has passed but if he calls at nine to-morrow morning, may he hope to find a cheese P And is there anything he can do to show his gratitude in Bengal ? Once, he wrote me rather a special letter proposing relief in kind. He had got into a little trouble by leaving parcels of mud done up in brown paper, at people's houses, on pretence of being a rail- way porter, in which character he received carriage-money. This sportive fancy he expiated in the House of Correction. Not long after his release, and on a Sunday morning, he called with a letter [having first dusted himself all over], in which he gave me to understand that, being resolved to earn an honest livelihood, he had been travelling about the country with a cart of crockery. That he had been doing pretty well, until the day before, when hia horse had dropped down dead near Chatham, in Kent. That this had reduced him to the unpleasant necessity of getting into the shafts himself, and drawing the cart of crockery to London— a somewhat exhausting pull of thirty miles. That he did not venture to ask again fornnoney; but that if I would have the goodness to leave him out a donkey, he would call for the animal before breakfast. -DicA-,etts's Household Words." THE COUNTY COURTS. The clerks received Z87,283 nearly much as the judges. As there are 491 clerks, the average would be 180 a year to each. But as the -clerks' fees accumu- late in each court according to the business transacted, of course I the division is very unequal. In one court in Wales the clerk only got £ 8 10s. in fees; in another court, in Yorkshire, his receipts only amounted to £ 9 4s. 3d. But some of my colleagues made a good thing of it. The clerks'fees in some of the princi- pal courts are very' comfortable: The clerk of Westminster netted, in 1848, E2,731 Clerkenwell, £ 2,227; Southwark, £ 1,710 Bristol, Sheffield, Bloomsbury, Birmingham, Shore- tcb, Leeds, Marylehoae, received f,1,000 a year and upwards. ?' But, continued our friend, 11 three-fourths of the clerks get less than LIOO a year." Now," said Mr. Ficker, tell us what you do for all this money ?'' Altogether," said the clerk, the courts sat, in 1848, 8,386 days, or an average for each judge of 140 days. The greatest number of sittings was in Westmin- ster, where the judge sat 246 days. At Liverpool, there were sittings on 225 days. The number of trials, as I have before maetiooed, was 259,118, or an average of about 4,320 to each judge, and 528 to each court. In some of the courts, however, as many as 20,000 cases are tried in a year." "Why," said Mr. Picker, they can't give five minutes to each case, Is this ad- ministration of justice?' When, said the clerk, If a case is undefended, a plaintiff appears, swears to his debt, and obtains an order for its payment, which takes scarcely two minutes." "How Ipng does a defended case take ?" On the average, I should nay, a quarter of an hour; that is, provided counsel are not em- ployed. "Jury cases occupy much longer. "Undoubtedly." Are.the jury cases frequent ?" I inquired, some feeling of re- sped for our time-honoured institution' coming across me as I spoke. Nothing," said our friend, is more remarkable in the history of the County Courts than the very limited resort which suitors have to juries. It is within the power ot either party to cause a jury to be summoned in any case where the plaint is upwards of jEg. The total number of cases tried in 1848 was 259,118. Of these, upwards of 50,000 were cases in which juiios might have been summoned. But there were only 884 jury cases in all the courts, or one jury for about every 270 trials. The party requiring the jury obtained a verdict ia 446 out of the 884 cases, or about one half."—Ibid, 'V •*■■■■■ ■;

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