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(itoitigs, —<$.— PARLIAMENTARY DEFINITIO .-Comprehensive measure. A measure that will take everybody in.—Pwwh, SOME one advertises in the New Orleans Picayune for a lady's miniature, which was lost between the 25th and 30th of No- vember, while on a spree." A WIFE full of truth, innocence, and love, is the prettiest flower a man can wear next his heart. THE SIKHS are so called, as the disciples of N anick Shah, the founder of their sect, in the 15th century; from sikhna-discere, to learn. "PHONOGRAPHY," pronounces the Philadelphia Republic, has fairly reached the ultima thule of the loosest jaw and limberest tongue." How TO MAKE LOVR.-If you cannot inspire a woman with love of you, fill her above the brim with love of herself, All that runs over will be yours. WAR.—The natural state of beasts devoid of sense. PEACE, —The God-designed condition of man when he shall have at- tained reason.- Cori-eslviiclett t. A BACHELOR'S LIFE.—Miss Bremer tells us that the life of a rich old bachelor is a splendid breakfast, a tolerably flat dinner, and a most miserable supper. IF a man does not make new acquaintances aa he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man should keep his friendships in constant repair.—JOHNSON. "OLIVER CROJIWELL and his troopers," says the Liverpool Albion, stabled their horses in our cathedrals. Our Whig and Tory governing families' do worse. They stall their asses in them." PANTS, OTHERWISE PANTALOONS.—" Oh, I pant for glory, I pant for renown," said a ragged man. of genius to his friend, Well, if you've a pair of pants, you'd better put them on," was the cool and relentless reply.—Boston Chronotype. KISSING.—A story has reached our ears, of a singular scheme for raising funds, which was hit upon and put in practice at a donation party held not more than a thousand miles off. It ap pears that some of the kissable ladies present actually allowed their sweet lips to be tasted at the rate of fifty cents a kiss- this being considered a suitable price for the privilege If we are not misinformed, one gentleman of the party took five dollars' worth.—Sandwich Observer, U.S. GIVING THE SACK."—A gentleman who has a warm side for a young lady, was making fun of a sack which she wore. You had better keep quiet, or I'll give you the sackreplied the lady archly. "I should be most happy," was the gallant's response, if you would give it to me as it is, with yourself inside of it IRISH IDEA OF CALIFORNIA.—We have been shown a letter from New York, in which the writer mentions that a poor Irish emigrant having heard that California was in the extreme west, accounted at once for the gold-as the sun went down close upon that part, it baked the earth into the precious metal. -Jerrold's News. QUACKS IN AMERICA.—Dr. Edwards, of Ohio, one of the re- gular doctors we take it, has got himself chairman of a commit- tee on adulterated drugs and quack medicines. He will bring out a report telling, from the Patent Office, what all the patent medicines are made of, which will be considerable to take. Good go it.-Boston Chronotype. A M\N with an enormously large mouth, called on a dentist to get a tooth drawn. After the dentist had prepared his in- struments, and was about to commence operations, the man of mouth began to strain and stretch his mouth till he got it to a most frightful extent. Stay, sir," said the dentist, don't trouble yourself to stretch your mouth any wider, for I intend to stand on the outside of it to draw your tooth.-American paper. VERY FAIR.—We heard a story yesterday of a man who re- turned home from Califorhia with gold to the amount of 64,000 dollars, which he deposited in one of the mints. He took off his old tattered unmentionables, and was about to throw them away, but his wife, good prudent woman, took them, and with a trifling effort she shook 23,030 dollars worth of gold dust o-at of th,zii.-Boyton

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