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SONNHT.

TAKE BACK YOUR DIRTY MONEY!

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/irrsik Clint.

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/irrsik Clint. Now, papa, tell me what is humbug r" "It is," replied papa, when mamma pretends to be very fond of me, and puts no buttons on my shirt!" JENNY MAUIUAGE.— F.M. the Duke of Wellington presents his compliments to Mr. Harris, and will feel it the proudest moment of his life to give away the lovely bride."— Punch. A YOUNG DANDY, who sported. an enormous moustachio, asked a lady what she thought of his looks. Why," said she, you look as if you had swdlowed a squirrel, and left the tail sticking out of your mouth." THE POPE.—A lady, noted for her kind feeling, on hearing that the Pope was a fugitive from Rome, exclaimed, Poor old man has he got any family r" On the matter being explained to her, she added, Well, I hope he'll marry now."—Gates- head Observer. To-ii, where did you got (hat cloak.?" Oil! I annexed it, and I'm going to acquire a dress coat somehow, if I can establish a territorial government orar a dozen silver spoons I picked up. It's destiny—its Anglo-S uxonisni. — Pittsburgh Visitor, U.S. "KITTY, where's the fryiiig "Johnny's got it, carting mud and oyster shells up the alley, with the cat for a horse." The dear little fellow what a genius he'll yet mike but go an 1 get it. We're going to have company, a, I-I must fry some fish for dinner." TOBACCO AND KISSES.—Ned Buntliae savs that the women ought to make a pledge not to kiss a man that uses tobacco, and it would soon break up the practice; and a friend of ours says they ought also to pledge themselves to kiss everv man that don't use it, and we go for that too.— Palladium of Prec- (Am ;rican.) [Possibly the gallant editor is a bachelor and not a smoker.] 1 IN a village in the west of England," the Arbroath Guide relates, the following is seen to flourish over the door of an ancient couple:- I curs a boose, and my \vi4fc cars the crinders." The meaning intended to be conveyed is: I cures allies, and inv wife cures the jaundice." A man at an ordinary had eaten so enormously, that the company were astonished awl disgusted at his gluttony. The gjntleman at the head of the table ironically pressed him to tike another plateful, observing that he had actually eaten nothing". The gourmand declined taking any more, saying that his stomach was quite gone; upon which an Irish gentleman opposite exclaimed, If its your stomach that's gone, my honey must mean the bottom part of it!" TO urs MISTT.IGSS.—-The following is an exquisite Etb mwcevLv. It is the impassioned address of the lover to his mistress:- A, if, 0 1 -it Hung- o'er thy beatius* heart, ,\Yhilsc tity warm Lp, like rOBe-leav2s st1rr'd, Wo-lil breathe my name apart. "Would breathe my name apart, my lova, In fairy tones so small; True rose-leaves on the gross, 1ny love, Mi*lit not more gently 1',1.1.1. And I would listen, like a child, That hears in eetasy The unbOULdlt music of a shell, Lost from the rolls sea. JSXRY/RSTTEXSFCS AND GENTILITY.—-In a recent lecture at Ex- et-n- Ir. O. Dawson said ever I am tempted to set up for myself some potty exdaslvenr;ss -if ever I wish to become ynteel, from which may God deliver me !-thcn I read out O'lce more those awful words of old, naked came we into the world,' and in like plight shall we go out; and then all that nonsense fills nipped in the bud." STEAM TO CIIACK Nu-rs.Tlie, county of Westmoreland lately paid f32 for prosecuting a man for stealing a fishing-rod. Surely the county will not go on for ever using steam-engines to crack nuts.— Gateshead Observer. SOMETHING BINDING ON THE NOISILITY.—None but Lords are allowed to receive the Order of the Garter. We do not envy them. for Garter is generally considered a fitting ornament for calves.—Punch. t

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