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CARMARTHEN UNDER THE SEARCH-LIGHT. ipome, come, and sit yon down you shall notbudsro Tou shall not go, till I set yos up a glass Where you may see the inmost part of you." —————— SHAKESPEARE. Mr C. M. Williams regards the offer of the Corporation regarding the Asylum drainage as a sort of a joke." Mr Williams will net go so far as to say that the Carmarthen Corporation would be capable of a real bona fide joke. A "sort of a joke is their highest flight. *'»- *«v v'f A lot of peoplo are now patting themselves ZD on the back, and congratulating one another because Carmarthen has had a steam roller. And some of these are just the people who fought tooth and mil against it, and all other improvements. These are tho swt of people who take a brandy and soda to steady thtir nerves before going on the temperance platform. The filthy state of Johnstown is at last to provoke a remonstrance. The latest suggestion is that the Visitors are going to 0 t!1 t) prosecute the Corporation for fostering bad smells prejudicial to the health of the inmates of the Asylum. Of course, there is nobody to stand *p 011 bekalf of the health of the unfortunate people who are not mad. Some people calling themselves Latter-day Saints have been distributing tracts in Carmarthen. They are, so far as I can ascertain, a heretical branch of tho Saints who repudiate the distinctive doctrines of Brigham Young. This is commendable. Any man who would seek to marry two wives in Carmarthen would get into trouble. And it mult be admitted, many a man has got into very great trouble by marrying one. I should like to ask whoever is respon- sible not to send the steam roller down Blue- street so ofteu on the slightest provocation. The houses here are—many of them-oltll they all touch the pavemeut, and the rumbliig of the roller shakes them to their foundations. A terrible disaster will kappeu if this goes on regularly. I am personally possessed of the c charity which thinkreth no evil but if any damage should be done at No. 3, Blue-street it will be difficult for the Corporation to clear itself of premeditation iu the eye3 of the censorious. .f I must realty protest against amother of my contemporaries getting; into hot-water with the clergy. I have been imitated ia many things but to copy me in regard to that is a bit too much of a joke. Imitation is tho sincerest form of flattery, I know but if I am flattered much more in that way I shall have to consider the advisability of consult- ing my solicitor with a view to taking pro- ceedings for plagiarism. -K- An appreciative sketch of the Bishop of t. Asaph-at one time vicar of St. Peter's -appears in the Strand Magiczine for this as a Celebrity." It contains, however, one typical Hnglish error-that his lordship was appointed to the see of St. Asaph because his knowledge of the Welsh dialeot stood him in good stead. Lowland Scotch, Yorkshire, and Somerset are dialects but AVoish is as much a separate language as German or Rassian. It is not the slightest use for anybody to pretend that there is style about a cigarette now. The colliers who are knock c ing about so plentifully at present may be seen puffing away at these erstwhile emblems of masherdom. I am informed that some of the smart set are seriously I thinking of taking to smoking clay-pipes filled with shagg. 0 jr The Rev R. G. Lawrence told a toper on Saturday that he would only be lined Is and costs for drunkenness because (inter alia) the weather was so warm" Would it not be well under these cireamstances for the Bench to keep an official record of tho height of the thermometer on different dates to assist them in assessing tines '? But then the question arises how hot would it need to be before the culprit would be awarded a ,j6 vote of tkanks for his public spirit in getting drunk ? That is the ultimate goal of the reverend gentleman's logic. It is one of tho bye-laws of the market (No. 1:3) that no person shall be allowed to take dogs into it. But on any market-day it is possible to see numbers of filthy curs prowling about the place. But why enforce the law against dogs when so many jaekasses are allowed to contemn all law and order with impunity ? Another of the bye-laws (No. G) is to the effect that "No hawker or pedlar f-HALL CRY any article for sale." And yet every Saturday there are two or three lots of people who bawl at the top of their voices so ap to be heard all over the market. Why, in 'the name of common-sense—if common-sense has any share iu our municipal Government—is this allowed? Supposing the cockle-women, and the women with the butter, and the market- gardeners all started yelling their goods at the tep of their voices, what an infernal pandemenium the market place would be ;;¡c And yet why should these others not aho be permitted to howl ? They have as much right to the market as those who do. I daresay the authorities will either sniff with contempt or pretend not to notice my questions, or else they wfli find VOTY elaborate exuuses for allowing the present abominable state of axiairs t" continue If our rulers only exerted half tho energy in doing their duty that they waste now in devising excuses for not duirlO' ic Car- marthen would be the wodol town of the cnjilised world. I It transpires from evidence given on Saturday that a Llaustephan Mshertnan's wife left him in indignation when he filled up the cup of hi* iniquity by spurning a chop which had been prepared fer him. IT a man refuses a thop, he may, therefore, fiud that he will have the cut-direct. Now that thanks to the energies of • several of our citizens-we have doue something to attract visitors during tho summer, can't we do something to eniiyen the town during the winter ? A splendid drum and fife band from one of the neighbourkag1 colliery districts visited Carmarthen on Saturday. Many of us gazed in open-mouthed wonder at it. But what is to prevent Carmarthen people doing likewise ? Nothiug except lack of energy—otherwise called laziness. Some of the ladies think (hat they have been ill-used by the Sports Committee. "Look at that placard now," said one. I "See all the prizes^hat aro offered to lllen, for bicycle races! Why can't we have a Some of the ladies think (hat they have been ill-used by the Sports Committee. "Look at that placard now," said one. "See all the prizes^hat are offered to men for bicyclo races Why can't we have a race to ourselves You don't think any would come, don t von. A w i indeed, about it. You might irive us a chance at any rate." I am relluested by a large and influential body of ratepayers to tonder sincere thanks to the authority responsible for sending the watering-cart through the market ou Saturday morning. The effect was most pleasing according to the unanimous testimony of all concerned. x Itfis amusing to watch the gravity of some of the visitors who come here on Saturdays and get top-heavy. Several finding themselves overcome early in the ZD day, have been seen to betake themselves to th»ir brakes to sleep-in the sweet consciousness that whatever betides they will arrive at their destination in time. There is much to be said on behalf of such a system of philosophic drunkenness. There is indignation in the breasts of ) o some of those who have been working hard to attract people to the town on Bank Holidays. They aver that some of those who have called loudly for sucii attractions took advantage of Bank Holiday to clear out of the Ancient Borough. Can such things be ? mi The crowd roared hugely at the court on Monday, when a lad, living in Mill-street, told the Bench how one young woman hit the other a "smack in the chops." The crowd seemed to think that there was somo reference to mutton in tho remark. As a matter of fact, the chaps" is an old English name for the lower part of the mouth and—speaking without the book—1 believe the soldier in the first act of Macbeth tolls of somebody or other being cleft to the chaps." It is rather peculiar to meet with Shakespearian English in Mill-ctreet. What evil spirits—apart from those of an alcoholic character-,aro abroad in Carmar- then on a Sunday night ? Last Sabbath, for an hour after church-time, the shouts in some of our (streets were like those which might be expected from a fair ground—if tho cattle had all been inoculated with hydrophobia. The rowdy part of the populace seem to have full fling in this religious sanctimonious town on that day, which by a fine touch of sarcasm-we call the Lord's Day. The licensing sessions for the extremely C3 y Ancient Borough of Carmarthen will be held on Monday, the 29th August. I daresay we shall hear then tributes as to the excellent way in which the public-houses have been carried on for the year. But we all know better than that-with tho possible exception of those whose busiuess it is to know. A splendid advertisement has been found for Carmarthen. I am in receipt of a suggestion to the effect that placards Lo issued all over the Kingdom calling attention to Carmarthen as a splendid resort for topers-as a place where intoxication may be pursued without the harassing restraints of Sunday Closing or of any other Acts. Let this fact only be known all over the kingdom, and we shall have huge armies of immigrants flocking from all parts to this Utopia of Alcoholism. X am informed that some people are very much vexed at it being stated that the Sunday Closing Act is persistently evaded in Carmarthen. Well, I can only refer them to the recent dictum of the Mayor— that there is a good deal of illicit Sunday drinking going on in Carmarthen somehow or other." Let the fault-finders not waste their emergy quarrelling with such an insignificant person as mv humble self. Let them quarrel with the Mayor! The other day a young lady lost control of her machine in Guildhall-squaro and came into collision with a bye-stander. An elderly member of the force undertook to give her some fatherly advice. "You was better take more care of yourself," he said, "when you go on your machine, or p raps you get killed and break your leg." r_1 The young lady departed, deeply impressed. 1 ALETUEIA.

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