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CARMARTHEN WEEK BY WEEK.

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CARMARTHEN WEEK BY WEEK. The first straw hat of the season appeared in Carmarthen on Friday. A straw shows how the- wind hkws; and the straw hat scon s that the thermometer is going to keep up lor a spoil. It shows in fact that we are in the hey-day of the fine season. -¡(" The Now Woman is all very well in her way but the new boy is worse than the ten plagues of Egypt boiled down into one. Some mothers in Carmarthen are actually compelled by their eight-year-old tyrants to Z7, regularly purchase a modicum of cigarettes when they go shopping. The offering of I zn n n incense to Satan is a form of worship into which the male sex are being initiated ratijor too prematurely. Iu the good old days,boys like these would be taken upstairs; and tiom their bedrooms there would be heard to issue a series of shrieks combined with what Dickens described as a succession of sharp sounds somewhat resembling applause." Our rising genera- tion gets a little too smart; and is made to smart much too seldom. Tins sort of thing suggests an idea as to n ZD who are the real rulers of the country. An aggressive old salt in one of our standard works—Marryat's, I believe—says that the naval officers are ruled by the Admiralty; that the Admiralty are ruled by the Privy Council; that the Privy Council is ruled by Parliament; that Parliament is ruled by the People; that the People are ruled by the Press and that the Press is ruled by the Devil. Without actually endorsing these somewhat extravagant deductions, it would be well to consider how our social system is managed. Men are ruled by women and women are ruled by precocities in knicker- bockers. Who can aver that the Franco- Prussian war was not caused by some infantile colic; the Crusades by nettle-rash and the Reformation by measles ? (hI' local publicans who have had summonses to attend at the Guildhall for offences alleged to have been committed on Sunday week will not "come up" until; Monday next. A fortnight will thus have elapsed between the commission of the alleged offences and the hearing of the cases. Justice is slow and certain—slow, particularly. 1 *■ I have received more than one complaint as to the manner in which some of our would-be mashers "interfere with married women" iu the public street—after the shops are closed and people come out for their evening constitutlona1." I can see no distinction between married and single in a case like tlrs; to molest any woman who is going her way along a public thoroughfare is an offence which, if brought under the attention of the nearest P.C., would result in the delinquent being put on "short commons" for the next fourteen days. But then, perhaps, this would be a new law to Carmarthen It is the greatest wrong which can be intlicfced on some of the young men of this 0 town to allow them to carry on as they do. A number^ of these paper-collared, paste- board-dickied, nickel-chained, and Waterbury- watched nonentities trample down every- thing before them in this town they always make it a point of honour—or dishonour—to make themselves as obnoxious as possible both on the public street aud at public gatherings. They are allowed to do this here because they happen to be somebody's son, or somebody else's nephew, or a cousin to the man over the way. However, when they go to another town and try on any of these little games, people will just deal with them as they would with other rowdies. It was Mark Twain who said something to the effect that no man ever realises what a thorough going donkey I13 is, until he leaves home. rn • ihe trees which have been planted by the Corporation in various parts of the town are Corporation in various parts of the town are flourishing apace—" like a green bay tree," in fact. As a result of one individual being lined for breaking them, I am told that people are afraid to put a finger on them." I am very glad to hear this. A fear of the law is the beginning of improvement in the management of this town—and of every other town. ■x The Press dinner which took place in Carmarthen last week disposes of that old- world fiction—that the representatives of different newspapers are implacable and deadly enemies. Never was there a fiction which rested on less foundation. There is no more reason why two pressmen should be sworn enemies, than there is why two shoe- makers or two tailors should adopt the same course. Besides the Press—like every other trade or profession—has certain common interests which an occasional re-union does much to promote. The day is not far distant when the spongers on the Press will cease to be able to use it as their tool by playing off one newspaper against another. A little unity works wonder. U The people who combine the best to guard common interests are the Railway Companies. They have long ago recognised the advantage of Trade Protection before any alteration is made in fares they must I consult each other so as to have uniform rates. This is the reason why it costs the same to go to London 03^ the L. & N.W.R. as it does to go by the G.W.R. If you do not like the price quoted, you can walk. The railway officials would probably say- if questioned—that they understood their own business best. So when people try to bully the Press into reporting our proceed- ings fully," our answer is that we under- stand our own business best. Depend upon it, the conductors of newspapers in the same way know very well what will please their readers. If these folks—who think that newspapeis should be carried on to minister to their particular glorification, and to give long reports of the Something-or-other Council which interests them—were to try for six months to carry on a periodical on these lines, they would at the end of the time give it up, being then poorer and wiser men. They would find that they cannot compel the public to buy a journal for the sake of reading their lucubrations. There is still a great void in our educa- tional system. It is no uncommon thing at the station to see half-a-dozen people gathered round a time-table, wrangling, debating, and trying to explain to each other at what time the train for somewhere or other starts. In the present condition of the public intellect, it is a much simpler matter to consult Cruden's Concordance or the Mathematical Tables than to attempt the Herculean feat of endeavouring to under- stand a railway time-table. If our Educational Reformers want to do the country a real service, let them make Brallshaw" a class subject in the Board Schools. *r.. This is the weather in which men take to blazers, women to blouses, and irreverent people say that it is as hot as bl 1 menu a green-house. The Amalgamated Association of Corner- polishers met in Guildhall- square on Monday afternoon, and passed the following resolution That in our opinion the time has now arrived when, in the interests of the thirsty community, a Shandigaff Syndicate should be formed, consisting of C) f 30,000 shares of 'the nominal value of 3d each, and that a moiety of the cost of each share should be contributed by the Corpora- tion out of the Water Rate, and that a copy of this resolution bo forwarded to the Editor of the Reporter to obtain the opinion of financial experts as to the prospects of the undertaking." j The G.W.R. Co. has had a pair of little windows fitted to their booking office at the Station over the ancient shutters- which, by the way, never had any connection with the "instantaneous process" shutter of the camera. In the midst of so much i darkness as to the intentions of the G. W.R. l Co. in regard to the station, it is delightful to have even this amount of transparency. You can see through a stone wall with the X rays but if you had the whole alphabet of rays you could not see through the designs of our friends at Paddington. There seemed to be a pretty unanimous consensus of opinion at the meeting of the Chamber of Agiiculture last week, that agriculture should be taught in the ZD ZD elementary schools. Before, however, the School Boards and the managers of Voluntary Schools set about undertaking any extraneous duties they should teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. I don't know how they get along with music or drawing; but they appear unable to turn out pupils fit to write a business letter. .;¡r, Some folks considered it somewhat of a sight on Monday to see a number of trucks Z5 of cattle attached to a passenger train at Carmarthen Station. There is nothing out of the way iu this. Droves of cattle frequently travel in passenger carriages-on ?D Bank Holidays particularly. Tom Strong" was able to explain to the Borough Justices at their last sitting how he managed to get possession of the pair of baskets found in his humble cot. The defendant was strong but the prosecu- tion wasn't. The United Counties Hunters' Show is not going to be removed from Carmarthen after all. Llanellv and Haverfordwest labour under one small disadvantage when competing for events of this kind. Provi- dence placed them in rather outlandish spots —that is, of course, assuming, that Provi- dence ever had anything to do with Llanelly. The Chamber of Agriculture is going to undertake some experiments in farming. Why can't it get hold of some cf the super- fluous children knocking about our streets, and try an experiment in baby-farming ? It could not possibly turn out a greater crop of failures than the half-tamed, unwashed specimens who are continually knocking about the street corners, and making furtive attempts at suicide under the feet of the horses and the wheels of the carts. Steps ought to he taken to prevent the fire-bell being rung for an insufficient cause, as it was last week. Now that they have such a good engine, the Brigade-if they are called out—should insist on having a first-rate fire. If one is not to be had otherwise, the house of the person who gives the alarm ought to be burnt to the ground. A few examples of this kind would make people careful. The farmers are beginning to grumble at the fine weather, and to prophesy that we shall have as dry a summer as in 1893. Some people in town claim to be able to pray down rain in order to put a damper on things of which they do not approve. Well now is the time to put such powers to the test. There looks little chance of rain in the ordinary course of nature; and the bringing down of a good shower would be a positive boon to mankind. But it always appears-in meteorology as in everything else-to be very easy to bring about that which is annoying, and very difficult to bring about something which is of the slightest use to anybody. We have beea assured by Supt. Smith that the" pound" of butter sold at the market generally weighs more than 16 ozs. It would be quite safe, however, to offer a Y, 100 prize for the glass of beer which contains more than half a pint. If you drink too much, therefore, you do it with your eyes open—as well as your mouth. People in different parts of the town are beginning to growl because they do not get their ghare of the watering-cart. Well; the remedy is very simple. Let us have one watering-cart for the Eastern Ward and another for the Western. The old fire- engine would make a very good makeshift. All it would require would be a few more holes knocked in the bottom—although some people go so far as to say that it has quite enough already. The Corporation has been making a great fuss because a few pigs were kept within 50 feet of a dwelling-house. If any of the members of the Corporation had ever had to do some work requiring solitude whilst listening to the yells of a fifty-horse power baby, they would change the bye-laws. These fiends in the caricature of the human form would not be allowed to come within fifty miles of a dwelling-house. Such minor nuisances as pigs might then be overlooked. The Town Council is not going to do much for Johnstown. The road connecting the Alltycnap and the Llanstephan roads is in a bad condition. What has the Town Council decided to do for the good folks of Johns- town ? If the road is put in proper order by private effort, the Council—will take it over This means an expenditure of £ 0 Os Od. What a pity Johnstown is not on the Terrace! By the way, Johnstown is merely the English for "Johannesburg"! This explains the whole matter. Its inhabitants are merely a species of "Outlanders." Like its South African namesake, it pays the rates, and gets nothing for them. This is the latest production of our Parnassian reporter We've a smart lot of men on the Council, Men of brains men of mind some conceit Who, now that they've got us the engine, Think the town well-equipped and complete. But gents Cease not yet your exertions, Just have those bad pipes now put right; Were a lire to break out on the morrow, The Brigade you'd find in a sad plight! Picton-terrace and Lammas-street complaining, The denizens of Priory-street irate, Agree—one and all-in the matter that The pipes are in the deuce of a state. Comparisons are odious but in view of the good feeling existing between the Sister c' Boroughs, the following is not amiss :— An individual insinuated to me recently that the yourfg men of Llanel ly were a niggardly lot. Well, if the following be taken as a criterion, I should not say so. In the middle of Swansea-road lives a belle of twenty-three summers, with a beautiful head of jet-black hair, and in a well-known establishment in the town is a very lean young man who, in he course of his daily duties, familiarizes himself with type and copy." Last summer this zealous and ardent lover took his Liz down to Llanstephan for a fortnight, and paid all her expenses. On a fine afternoon he could be seen sitting under the shady foliage of the trees in the wood with Liz in his lap—gazing out upon the blue expanse of water. On a Saturday he would trot Liz up to town, and, with the swagger of the Llaneilyite, parade her round the streets for hours. That expression, "the swagger of a Llanellyite," is good. I have been advised to advise that gent" who was blowing up his wife on Satur- day night not to do it ir, the kitchen next time he gets into that furore," because t gratings have not been made to prevent noises from reaching the ears of those who pass over them. ■ft The two following queries have been sent Z5 me:- Has that charming ma'm'selle who resides in Lammer "-street ever discovered who sent her that bottle of Frangipanni r" We should be very please 1 if the young lady who told her darling on Saturday night that she liked "jubjubes" would call at our office on Monday about half-past one and fourpence. One of the spectators at the fire last week avers that he saw something that would have made an extra exhibition at the Zoo and he sends me the following jinglers :— 0 0 There's a house on fire were the words that fell Upon the ears of the men like a Carfew knell; fie a fact," said a blue-coat, there's the smoke what a smell I Clang-clang" on the nonep, rang the Town fire bell. We saw—into Catherine-street—a crowd quickly go Where they gazed thro' black smoke at the flames all oglow With a rush to the tramp-housa they the engine did tow And with great streams of water, the flames did bring low. What a rough serried crowd Zounds see how they Bque^ze Some yelled and swore madly, and others would sneeze; "Oh lor!" said a bobby to his Bosp, "if you please "— Do let me get home—I'm covered with fl- I "What flirty coquettes some of our Car- marthen belles are, indeed How amusing it is to see one of these coquettes every Sunday evening being escorted to the door of the chapel by an aristocratic young wain, who gently twirls his incipient moustache and puffs away at a cigarette. With a sweet, affectionate squeeze of her paw, he takes off his hat and says Tra-la-la! The service is over—out trips the coquette. At the gate stands ladykiller No. 2 with a topper on and in his mouth an immense cigar. He grasps her dainty paw and with a bewitching smile suffusing his bland countenance, they march along-but not with laugh and song. The Ferryside cheap Sunday tickets have commenced to be issued. Last Sunday a large number took advantage of them to visit the delightful little watering place. In the evening a party of young men from Carmarthen delighted a concourse of "Ferrvites" with their fine rendering of Myfanwy," Lead, Kiadly Light," The Old Hundredth," and other favourite hymns, near the Lifeboat Shed on the Sands. But when Mr J., the conductor, introduced his artistes to give the solos, he stated that they were in a state of animosity," to the evident amusement of his hearers. I am afraid his phraseology got slightly mixed, either through the exuberance of his verbosity or his love of music—which, I know not. I did not see any animosity between the soloists. They appeal cd to be on the most friendly terms. Something ought really to be done to compel the tradesmen of the town to hang their awnings at a reasonable height from the ground. We have not many sons of Anak in Carmarthen but all the same the law assumes the existence of people above 4ft lOin in height. The troubles of the capitalist are never over. One man in town has been belabour- ing his wife with a rolling-pin: and has pleaded in justification that she spent 11 the half-year's interest on his money The money amounts to Y,15 The interest at I the bank rate is therefore—3 s vfc- The latest development consequent on the heat-wave is that swarms of boys are bath- ing in the Tinworks Pond, and that a group of girls may occasionally be seen having a dip in the Towy. The fault lies at the doors of those who do not provide proper bathing accommodation for the town. The Amateur Cycling Club are having splendid runs this season. The captain, Mr Jack Jenkins, is to be congratulated on their success. Llanstephan, however, is the favourite resort at the present time, and the captain would do well to continue his runs to this uleasant spot. The policemen are still on the look out for offenders riding home at night on their bicycles without lighting their lamps. The stories of the local escapes from being caught by the limbs of the law have had the desired effect upon many cyclists in the town, some of whom have speculated in new lamps. The idea is also prevalent that one lamp lighted is enough for two cyclists; but they will soon find this eironeous idea dispelled, and that to their own cost, if they fall into the hands of a man in blue." It is no use, however, to have lamps without oil; and our rough and tumble cyclists had better be careful that they are not found like the foolish virgins-if the comparison be not too far fetched. TOBIAS TWISTER.

MYDRIM.

Carmarthenshire Chamber of…

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