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IPat on Tramp. ) -í

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I Pat on Tramp. ) Mishtor Iditor,— As Oi said in mi lasht litter Oi was in Porthcawl whin Oi had a tiligram from Biddy to go home at once, an' whin Oi got home Oi found that the sow had prisinted misilf wid a litter of pigs. Shure, an' what am Oi to do, sor, an' musht Oi wroite to Mishtor Lloyd George for the thirty shillings for each an' iviry one. Oi have bane thinking since, sor, that if Oi did the price of the Marconi shares would go up wid a bang, but Oi could do wid some white- wash for the cot. Well, here Oi am m Swansea, shure, an' it's not much of a place, at least not the town itself, nothing to be compared as a town to Cardiff, an' not so swate as Cork or Dublin. Oi understhand that since the year 1188 there has bane a moighty foine row as to the proper way to spell the name of it, since that tonne it has banfe spelt in eighty different ways, an' it was onlv in 1738 that it once an for all settled to spell it Swansea. Bedad, an' they wire a moighty long toime foinding how to spell it. almost as long as the Mountain Ash Council take to make up thire moinds how to alter the canal bridge. Oi think that will be left until some big accident happens, thin they will stratch their heads an' say, "Who would have thought it." Oi shuppose the reason of the delay is that some are afraid to git on black books wid the ratepayers for spending too much money if a fatal accident should occur thire (an' it's a wonder one has not. the bridge is nothing but a trap), would the money saved re- turn that loife? Oi hardly think so. Take yer courage in both hands an' alter the bridge. We don't want an or- nament to look at, something ser- viceable to do away wid the throttle valve of Caergarw. It's transgresing Oi am, an' its in Swansea Oi am. so here goes once more to whire Oi was before Oi sthopped, an' whire Oi foind misilf at the prisint toime. The viry same daye that Charlottee was born, sor, May 19, 1868, Oliver Cromwell paid a visit to the town, an' gave £ 10 to the poor, shure, an' it was not viry large in that toime. Bedad man, an' he seemed to loike the place viry much, in. for in the viry nixt year he came again. An' do ye know thire is a grate puzzle for a stranger to solve in town. Foind the Castle. It is nearly hidden now by the houses. Thire are many places » worth seeing: The Public Library, Art Gallery, Museum. An' ye musht not forgit the Swimming Baths at the bot- tom end of the town; an' shure ye can have yer collar washed an' ironed nixt door while ye have a swim; its a grate place. An' if anyone wants to visit the big house or University on the cheap, lit me advise what to do. Thire is a friend of mine in the Borough Police (P.C. Muldoon). Walk roight up to him an' hit him down. He only stands six feet three an' a half inches. an' weighs sixteen tons. As Oi said before walk roight up to him. look straight at him an' let drive. Thin the procession for Muldoon's Picnic will athart wid a week's board an' lodging free of all charge. Thin thire are the sands; its a trate on a foine daye. They say, sor, that Swansea harbour is the finest in the world. That is rather a tall order, an' wants salt. Oi don't mane to put the salt in the harbour, sor; thire is enough thire already. An' whin ye are tired of Swansea, go to Mumbles. That is the place for fun whin ye git on the rocks an' slither down, an' rimimber the water is viry wet. Look here, sor, an' do ye rimim- be- much about the year 958, whin the whole of Gowerland was devasted by the Welsh Prince Owain. Its a mosht beautiful place for a holiday. Oi think the capital of Gowerland is Oyster- mouth, an' shure its easy enough to git to from Swansea; it is the headquarters of the Bristol Channel Yacht Club. Thire is a mosht interesting history oonnected wid Gowerland covering near- iy ten centuries. Excuse me a minute, sor. Oi have just had a letter from Biddy, an' she wants to know how Oi am, an' whire Oi am staying, an' how much money Oi have. That's done it. Oi have spent the lot. Oi have wired back a letter on the wires, "Eggs penny each" She knows what Oi mane. Shure man, an' yer cannot do the Mumbles all in one daye. Thire are Caswell, Bracelet an' Langland Bays to he seen; an' faith ye can go hunting anakes on the rocks, thire are any amount thire. Its a foine place for sport in the summer toime. an' Oi ri- mimber one toime coming down to Swansea by the trane. an' thire was a young lady wid two red roses; an' be- gorra Oi asked nice an' swate for one, hut bedad she would not. Niver moind. better luck nixt toime. If all the red roses in Aberdare areJoike those two. shure an' they know a thing or two about roses. An' another toime this summer Oi was in the trane wid a party of Suffragettes. They were quite harm- less. sor, after all the excitement in Aberdare. They wore nice collers, an' Oi injoyed thire company; but Oi hope they are not goin' to hold a meeting at Caerphilly. Well, sor, here Oi am. an' Biddy says she will not send misilf any more money. an' that if Oi want any, Oi musht whistle for it. Its twenty eight miles Qi am from Carmarthen, stony broke, a poor weak orphan in a sthrange land. so now Oi musht sthop, post this to yer konur, an' whistle for enough money to bring misilf back to the town of Moun- tain Ash in toime for the Church Tea; a.) look out, mi bhoys. Oi intend hav- iiag a thry to be there, so Oi think Oi .11sht now conclude an sthart for Car- .arlhen.-Oi am, sor, your obadiant swrattt, PATRICK RAFFEMT.

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i FEARED HER DAUGHTERI WOULD…

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