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[PUNCH.]

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[PUNCH.] A FACT FOR NATURALISTS.—Young Housewife: Dear me what very small egg3 for twopence- halfpenny each It seems quite extravagant to take them!" Affable Dalrywoman (who has always a conclusive reply for complaints): Well, yes, ni'wij so it does. But I ve always noticed that new-laid eggs are small "IN VINO VEUITAS."—Bailie Verintosh, mem- ber of School Board (who wished to address the children after luncheon): "Noo, bairns, aw'll jeest tall ye, we're a' like sheps-some's en poarrt!—some's awa'oot i' med ocean!—some's uear the haven Ye're just leaving poarrt! A.sh f'me, aw thenk a'wm aooot hauf sheash over." [Agreed, nem. eon.] Two SIDES TO A QUBSTIO:oq-It's all very well to talk of sticking to your old friends, whether they be prosperous or the reverse! But what if they resemble Billy Scatcherd, for instance ? You aak B. S. to dinner to meet your respected father- in-law (the dean), and General Jenkinson, and the member for Hornsey, and, worst of all, Sir Georgius Midas and Mrs Ponsonby de Tomkyns- not to mention the better halves of these impor- tant people—and dear old Billy, who hates hum- bug and-scorns worldly success, and still pawns his watch to pay his rent, insists on reminding you across the table of the good old days when you used to do the same and, as a piquant set- off against your present splendour, tells that capital story of how you managed to go tick for a whole twelvemonth at a certain tripe and trotter shop in Drury Lane, and then settled the bill with a hat and coat your grandmother lent you to go to your grandfather's funeral—and all this with the servants in the room—confound him !—and that spiteful little Eoheinian minx, Mrs Scatcherd, gobbling away for the week before and the week to come, and revelling on your wife's black looks at you

[JUDY.]

[FUN. ]

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MUSICAL NOTES.I

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HOUSE OF LORDS.—FBIDAY.

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THE PATENT LAWS.

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