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)1 0 FROM "THE KEYSTONE STATE.This inter- 1 change of opinion took place recently at a public Jj *&eeting in one of the oleaginous towns of i "euasylvania. The Chairman: "The chair v,I dispute the point with Mr "Watson." Mr atson "The chair had better not, unless he takes his coat off." The chair did not. A gentleman dining at a fashionable hoteL where 8eivants were few and far between," despatched lad among them for a cut of beef. After a long ji^ae the lad returned, and placing it before the *aiut and'hungry gentleman, was asked, Are £ °u the lad who took away my plate for this beef ?" os, sir." "Bless me," resumed the hungry '< how you have grown An old lady who was wont to sit near the door a certain church recently went, says a con tempo- rary, to the vicar, and asked leave to take a more Prorament sitting. "Why?" he asked. "The fact of the matter is," she replied, "your curates Preach such rubbish that by the time it gets down tome it's worth nothing at all." Women should understand that no beauty has aily charms but the inward one of the mind, and a gracefulness in the manners is much more enRaging than that of their persons that meek- nes" aud modesty are the true and lasting orna- ^eiits. These only are charms that render wives aQiiable. and give them the best title to our respect. THE SINGING QXADIULLE.—Victim Sing—aw— ll\lrsewy wymes ? Good gwacious! What is a ^fsewy wyme ? Can't you suggest something tPli^opwiate ?" First Partner (with emphasis): Y es—' Goosey, goosey.' Second Partner (more ^hphatically) Gander." (The victim has a notion that somehow there is something per- sonal somewhere). Yankees are universally allowed to be enex- celled in aeking questions but unite Irish loqua- City with Yankee inquisitiveness, and the cup is tuli. A girl of Irish decent, but reared in Ver- mont, was rebuked by the lady with whom she was living for her interminable propensity to ask Questions. Closing the rebuke, the lady remarked, 1: ou beat the Jews at asking questions." True to her nature, the girl rejoined, "Do the Jews ask many questions?" An incident mentioned by Dean Ramsay exhi- bits the familiar bearing of the older class of the ministers in the pulpit. A young man, sitting opposite to the clergyman, in the front of the gallery, had been up late an the previous night, and had studied the pack of cards with which he had been occupied into his coat pocket. Forget- ting the circumstance, he pulled out his handker- chief, and the cards flew about the church. The minister looked at him,,and remarked, Eh, man, Your psalm buik has been ill bund." A CHEERFUL WOMAN.—What a blessing to the household is a merry, cheerful woman—one whose spirits are not affected by wet days and little dis- appointments, and whose milk of human kindness does not sour in the sunshine of human prosperity. An old Scotchman, on marrying a very young Wife, was rallied by his friends on the inequality of their ages. "She will be near me," he replied, "toelose my een." "Weel," remarked another of the party, "I've had twa wives, and they opened my cen & Professor (describing ancient Greek theatre): And it had no roof." Junior (sure that he has caught the professor in a mistake): What did they do, sir, when it rained?" Professor (taking off his glasses and pausing for a moment): They got wet, sir." At dinner the host introduces to the favourable notice of the company a splendid truffied pheasant, amid murmurs of admiration. "Isn't it a beauty?" he says. "Dr So-and-So gave it me-killed it himself." "Aw, what was he treating it for?" asked one of the guests. Before beginning the second psalm for the day, a Glasgow minister reached down into his pocket and took a pinch «f snuff. Even yet he cannot understand what there was in the first verse of the psalm to make the congregation laugh when he read My soul cleaveth to the dust." Baby has begun to learn sacred history, and begs her papa to ask her questions, j ust to see how wise she is. "Well," said papa, "can you tell me who Adam was?" "The father of all men." Good. And who was Eve?" After a moment's reflection: The mother of all women." -6

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WHO GAVE US PEACE?

I MAP OF CYPRUS <

AN IMPEACHMENT OF THE PREMIER.

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ISERIOUS STABBING AFFRAY AT…

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FLINTSHIRE ASSIZES.

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HOUSE (,,! L.OR!)-. , D

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ILENBIGHSHIEE ASSIZES.

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A FRENCH TRAGEDY.

CATTLE,