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-o- anb Utilities. ,u barrister wanteo, to know what anyone ^ridiculous in his wig. Only the head, they I 0 J J T,PHARMACEUTICAL FINANCE.—Small boy to CLAN's. Want to get some brimstone. How do you ,ll <,• Druggist: Five ceuts an ounce." Small boy:; I want a pound. How much is that ?" D«-ugai-t cedts." 'Can you give me two si.vpet.cce for a tfhiiiu.y ?' j red a little boy of a grocer's bhopitiati. '• Certainly, «jd. the man, handing over the two sixpenny pir-e«-f- in eU, saId thü boy, taking the sixpences and ions- to go out, "mother says she will a*-iid you the ^ing to-morrow." THE WISDOM OK BARKS.—A clergyman w AS prepay-! 8 a discourse for Sunday, stopping occasionally to what lie had written, and to cr-ou; that which Was disposed to disapprove, when he was -ceosiec1 «y his little son, who had numbered but. five summer* father, does God tell you what to preach?" "Or- "dy, my chiid." "Then what makes you sciateh it °U;V asked the litt le fellow. .TJIK LATEST LIKEL ON BIRMINGHAM. —Says A-«. ^erican exchange—"The Hindoos are again com- joining about the~poor quality of idols furnished them ..J the Birmingham imuiufaoturers. It seem* that ll»ese manufacturers have been producing *.u<k ugly 4tJ'les of idols that even the most religious Hindoo j t worship them with any fervour. Moreover, "ey arc made out of cros.s-graiucd, knotty wood, au painted with cheap mineral pai t, which in hot father comes off when the devotees kiss them. Hindoo is very patient, but it does rt'.e 'air. ), en tiie paint of a high-priced god sticks to i "ps. JI'HS: KING OF HEAVEN.—Long ages ago, in times so te,ftote that history does not fix the ep eh, a dreadful Was waged between the King of Cornwall and the of Scotland. Scottish valour prevailed, aoO the t'g of Cornwall was defeated. The Scottish m<>n- elated by success, sent for Prime Minister, Lord ^exander. Wee!, Sandy, said he, is there ne'er a ting we canua conquer th' 1100?" "An' it pleads Majesty, I ken but o' ae King th it your Majesty vanquish." "An' where is He. Sandy?" Lord ^'exander, reverently looking up. said, The King <>' ,ec'ven." The king o' w liaur, Sandy ?" "The King 0 Heeven." The Scottish King did not understand, but uii-,villing to exhibIt any ignorance. "Just gang ways, Sandy, an' tell the King o' Heeven to gie up dominions or I'll come mysel' and ding him oot o' eln and mind, Sandy, ye do not come back till us tutil ye hae done oor hidden." Lord Alexander re- ared, much perplexed, but net a priest, and reassure: reUirned and presented himself. Weel, Sandy, the King, Hae ye seen the King of Heaven, and says ye to oor bidden ?" An' it plea-e your Majesty, 1 hae no seen the King himsel', but I have 4eet, ane o' His accredited miuisters," Weel, and %-hat says he ?" He says yer Majesty may e'en hae 1I1!3 kingdom for the asking o' it." Was he ,H Weevil?" says the King, warmed to magnanimity. list gang yer ways back, Sandy, and tell the King 0 Heeven that for hia ceevility the de'il a Scotchman shall ever set foot in His kingdom."

LONDON GOSSiPT

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