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i,.". CHAPTER XII. \

CHARACTER READING.

'------WONDERFUL SAFETY LAMP.

---------SUICIDE BY CHARCOAL

MARCH-OUT FATALITY.

CARDIFF ELECTRIC CAR ACCIDENT;'

Complete Story.

-------------COLLIERIES TRANSFER…

SUSPICIOUS OASE DISMISSED.

ISWANSEA STREET RE0ULATJONS.…

[No title]

[No title]

---------_.,.---_-AT EIN GOHEBWYR.

BARDDONIAETH.

Family Notices

* GWYRDDLESNL

OYWYDD Y GWYNT.

GWYBODAETH.

'- -Y FALWODEN. ':v'

BUGAIL Y MYNYDD.

' ^Y WASG - - ^ : '

[No title]

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Scathing.—He I've a cold, or something, in my head."—She It must be a cold. Differently Put.—Mr Jarrow Are yon in- terested in woman's rights, Miss Cau3tique?"~ Miss Caustique No; woman's wrongs. The secret of popularity is to make every. one satisfied with himself or herself first, an afterwards satisfied with you. Borne Out.—Jack Many a happy marrie has been spoiled by money.—Tom: Yes: spoiled mine. She refused me becsrase I didn't have enough. Ambiguous.—Mr Marryat: I see old RoxleY has left an estate worth £300,000 at leàBt. Wouldn't you like to be his Marryat: No, dear I'd rather be yours. His Maxim.—" It's always well to be on the safe side," mused the burglar with. gIow-o satisfaction, as he crawled into the bank throogb the opening in the wall, Answered,—" Mr Rich,wonld you mind telling me how you ?" Not at all; I made it by attending strictly to business—my own business, you know." In Explanation.—Friend: Look here, George! what does this bill of five pounds mean Amatetir Photographer You told me that if I'd take half a dozen pictures of your house, you'd gladly stand the expense. That's what it cost me." Improving.—Briggs That Stephens considers himself the greatest actor on earth.—Benson Is that so ? He's getting strangely modest. He used to consider himself the greatest actor that ever lived. As a Start.—She Now that we are to be married, we must begin to save. Promise me-yon will do nothing you cannot afford. He But in* that case I should have to break off the engagement. Superfluous,—He An astrologer described yon exactly, and said that I should marry you. She Don't you think it was a waste of money to consnlt him ? He Why ? Sha: I could have told you the same thing myself if you had asked me. I'm sure I don't know," cried oldSeverepop —" I'Tealiy don't know what to do with yon, Henry. Is there anything good in yon?" "I jthink so. dad," replied Henry; rve just eaten^a mince pie." Jones: I think you ought to go about saying that Robinson is the biggest coward alive.—Brown Why, he shows in everyway he's afraid of me.—Jones: So ? Well, t think you're justified." First Dear Girl: Congratulate mer dear, Mr Simpkins proposed last night, and I accepted him. —Second Dear Girl: Congratulate me, < dear. Mr Simpkins proposed to me night be- fore last, and I refused him.: Ambiguous.—Dorothy: Edith, I've come to announce my engagement to Mr Jack Brown. What do you think of aim ? Edith t My dear, I think he's a hero. Inferred.—The Confidante I knew he would propose. The Fiancee Did you ? Tho Confidante Certainly. When a man«con- siders-a girl matchless he doesn't want herto remainso. Undeniable,—She was a teacher »of one of the lower classes, and she was trying toremind the young scholar of the letter r." Now, Tommy, what comes at the end of dinner ?" Oh—ping- pong," shouted Tommy joyfully. Making Sure.—" When it comesio marriage I wouldn't give a thought as to how much the man I love was making," remarked Ariminta senti- ment ally. Neither would I," answered practi' cal Katharine. What would primarily interest me would be how much he had already made." A Great Cure.—The Doctor.—Yes, I under. stand what ails you you can't sleep, Take this prescription to the druggist.—(Next day.)— Good morning; you look better to-day. Have you slept well ?—Petersen Like a top. I feel like a. new man.—Doctor How many sleeping powders did take ? — Petersen (surprised) 1 didn't take any. I gave a couple of them to the baby. ChOlly gMasher (to the photographer) stire and ehoiV the collar and eye-glass, and don" forget to give the cane the correct pose.—Photo- grapher Certainly not. Now, hold steady- all right. It's done, sir,—Cholly Done, is if Are you quite sure you have taken the best side of my head ?—Photographer Quite eure, sir; I took the outside. They had looked soulfully into each other's eyes for Some time, but somehow he didn't seem to come to the point. Then suddenly he made a discovery. You have your mother's beauti- ful oyes, dear," he said. She felt that the time had come to play her trnmp card. I have 80180," she said, "my father's lovely cheque-book." Within thirty minutes the engagement was announced. I am afraid, Bobby." said his mother, that when I tell your father what a naughty boy you've been he will punish you severely." "Havo you got to tell him?" asked Bobby earnestly. Oli. yes, I shall tell him imme- diately after dinner." The look of concern on Bobby's face deepened. Well, mother," said he, give him a better dinner than usual. Yon might do that much for me." Plenty on Hand.—A London shopkeeper of an excitable temperament one day beard his assistant say to a customer, No, we have not hard any for a long time." He fixed his eye on the assistant. We have plenty in reserve, ma'am,he said to the customer—" plenty ap- stairs." The customer looked dazed for a moment, and the shopkeeper did not seem happy when the assistant informed him that the ens* tomer was speaking about the weather, and had remarked, We haven't had any rain lately." Time No Object.-Ashrewd old farmer was approached by a bright young man who waS selling incubators. The salesman advanced the tiaual eloquent arguments. There was not another such incubator to be found, the price was remarkably low, and so on. T -e farmer did not lespend. The young man talked on and on, but made no impression. "You don't seem to appreciate these inonbators, he said finally. "No," said the farmer. But just think of the time they will save- The farmer looked him with cold distain. What do you Buppose 1 acre for a hen's time ?" ha asked. Preliminary Notice.—A landlord's wife, noticing that her husband looked very gloomy after receiving a visit from one of his tenants, ventured to suppose the tenant had came to say that he was unable to pay his rent. No, no, my dear," was the husband's reply. On the coUtrsiry, he paid it." Then why," Baid the wife, do yoa look 80 downcast ?" Well, fot the fifst time sinco ho has been my tenant be paid without asking me to spend a big sum on repairs," the husband answered. I should have thought you would have been pleased at that," was the wife's comment. Not at all," said the husband, "yoo know how long it toOi the last time to get that property let. and I ..111 sure it is going to be empty again." A good story is told of a farmer who wore onl suit till his wife was thoroughly ashamed of ii, One day he had been to market in thie same stkit* and, being flush of cash, he was strnekby* happy thought—he would buy some new clothes- This he did, bundling them into the wagon- The night was dark. As he approached his hotnjj he passed over a bridge across a river, and another happy thought:atruck him. He would don the new suit, and so surprise his wife. Be stood up in the wagon, took off the despised pt" ments, and tossed theminto the water. Then be stretched out his hand for the new clothes- Horror of horrors I They had disappeared, jolted out on the rough road. He managed to reach home without mishap under the friendly cloak of darkness, and he was not disappointed in tb&-81It. prisehe was able to give his better half. Mr Michael McDonagh, in his Character," gives some instances of Irish siØ1. plidty in dealing with the physician. On OBc occasion Mrs Murphy's husband was extaretneiy ill, and she consulted the doctor. I'm madam," he said gravely, but your husband J dying by inches." Well," she said, witb^ air of hopeful resignation, wan good line pere man is six-foot-free io | stockm' feet, so lasht some yet I" An Irishman who sent for doctor forthe first time in his life watched astonishment while thephysician took his thermometer from its ease, slipped it under* patient's arm, andj(told him to keep it ther^* second or two. Mike lay still, almost afra'd breathe, but when the doctor removed the tb: mometer he drew a long breath. Ah," claimed, I do feel a dale betteralready, sor. '0 Though more than half a cenmry naideDt Ii" London, the late Meyer Lntz never lest d strong German accent, and bis innunaeff^0 storied of actors and dramatists gained io tilling on that account. His H. J. Byron lection was especially rich. One related little cockney comedian who was late for^0 hearsal one morning at the Plymouth during a Byron tour. "Sorry to a-kop' watin', Mr Byron, but I've been takin' roundthe JOe." Nerver mind, never crial Byibn but I recommend yon n6** to take a Walk round the 'H' Lutz one, day complained that a member of orchestra—also a German—kept on p?rsi9to^j6 playing a wrong note on his bassoon. no," grnnted the conductor, You btey »; It ia not B Nat)" "It is B flat I" ntQU tt bassoonist, in answer, pointing to a big < But tbe note took wing and flew leisurely Ach," exclaimed Lutz, with a contefflp* »hrug,^yonhave la1eÇt.gtX.