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FACTS AND FANCIES.

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FACTS AND FANCIES. A wounded soldier, asked to describe his experience in The battle of the Aisne, smiled. "There was," he said, "a terrific bang-and then the nurse asked me toO sit up and drink this.' The man who had made his pile in the South American trade advertised for a valet. He looked the first applicant over- Have you valeted long?" lie asked. "Me?" replied the applicant. "Why, I am a regular valetudinarian." He got the J°A father was putting his sons through a natural history examination. "What animal," he asked, "is satisfied with the least amount of nourishment?" "The moth!" replied one of the boys; "it eats nothing but holes." Johnny: "You're the meanest, hate- fullest, spiteful lest thing I know." Tommy; "And you're the crafcbedesfc, ugliest—— Father: "Boys, Boys; you forget that your mother is in the room." "I saw your father taking you to the backyard yesterday morning Willie. What had you been doing?" "Nothing. He just took me out there to meet a soldier friend of his." -"A soldier! Who was he?" "Corporal punishment." "Now tell me what you are?" asked the school inspector. But the little girl only shook her head. Well, let me try and guess," observed the kindly man "are you a little boy?" Another shake of the head. "You must be a little girl, then?" Yet another shake of the head. Then he thought a little more gentleness would succeed. "Please tell me," he wheedled. At last the ice was broken. She whispered "I'm a junior mixed." On Sunday at church, when the collec- tion was being ta.ken up for the missions, the collector approached and held out the collection box. The millionaire shook his .head. "I never give to missions," he whispered. "Then take something out of the box, sir," whispered the collector, "iTie money is for the heathen." A volunteer battalion was selected to take part in manoeuvres at Aldershot and had to face a charge by one of the crack cavalry corps. When the horsemen were a hundred yards away, the volunteers -turned tail and bolted. One man only stood his ground. Next morning the colonel soundly rated his men, and turn- ing to the only brave" man in the battalion, said, "Tell these fellows, Jones why. you stood your ground and did not run away." Jones saluted, and gravely replied. Please, colonel, I got my foot »in A rabbit holo." 'KHILOSOPj&Y OF TOMMY IN THE TRENCHES. Smile awhile, And while you smile Another smiles, And soon there's miles, And miles 'Of smiles, And life's worth while Because you smile. .ACDo you know the parables, my hoy F" áid the Bishop. "Yes, sir," he replied. "Which of the parables do you like best?" I ¡like the one," he answered, after a -moment's thought, where somebody loafs ;and fishes." Private G. Turle-y, of the Royal Jusi- liers, writing home from the front, tells :how a. German spy was cleverly unmasked. The spy very nearly convinced us," said Private Turley, "that he was an English- man born in Surrey." But a young officer asked him suddenly, "Where was the Derby run last year?" "Derby, of course," was the reply. That was how he ran to meet his doom.

[No title]

THE QUESTION OF HEALTH. -

-----IDOLGELLEY.

ARTHOG.

[No title]

PONTERWYD.

CREWS HARSE REPOSITORY.

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I .t.'ÔJ.:fA'-l:'l:i.j:j),à

_.-.-----..-----.-. CORRESPONDENCE.…

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IPWLLHXLI.

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