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Mr. Justice Maule was once utterly per- plexed by the confused way in which a bar- rister opened a case before him. Getting weary at his inability to understand what tne case was about, the witty judge, losing patience, at last exclaimed, I wish you would put your facts in some kind of order. Chronological order is one way, and perhaps the best; but I am not particular-any order you like-alphabetical order, if you prefer it! Sir William Fraser records a olever retort made by Lord Adolphus FitzUlarence when in France in attendance on the Queen. He met the Prince de Joinville, who, as a French admiral, professed to be patriotically bellicose towards England in particular. He said to Lord Adolphus, in a friendly manner, You, my lord, and I are seamen I have had but one dream in life—to command a smart French frigate, and to lay my own alongside of an English ship of the same strength for twenty minutes." Lord Adolphus replied, in a perfeot spirit of oourtesy, I think, sir, that ten would be enough," Matthew Arnold, next to Whistler, was, perhaps, the most colossal egotist of his tima. After his return to London from his first lec- turing tour in America he visited old Mrs. Proctor, widow of the poet, "Barry Corn- wall and mother of Adelaide Proctor. Mrs. Proctor, who was then 80 years old, in giving Mr. Arnold a cup of tea, asked him," And what did they say about you in America?" u Well," laid the literary autocrat," they said I was oonoeited and they said my clothes did not fit- me." Well, now," said the old lady, "I think they were mistaken as to the clothes." A puddler went to get his child christened. What name," asked the parson, shall I call the child P" « Thoo can caal the kid owt thoo likes," said the father, Well," said the parson, "I think 'Benjamin' is a very nice name." Varry weel," said the father, St cuI him 'Benjamin.' The puddler oame Out of the churoh with his wife and child, highly delighted with the name, when a thought struck him, Ruuhing back into the church, and overtaking the parson walking down the aisle, he exclaimed, "Hey, mister, the young squaker'a a lass!" The parson was at a loss was to do in the circumstance. However, he put in an a at the end of the name, and so they call the child H Benja- mina," I In a publio school a teacher gave out a list of words to be defined and put in sentenoes among them was the word "chasm," A little girl looked in the dictionary, and, not being quite satisfied, inquired if chasm meant fi gap." The teaher absently replied "Yes," but was astonished when the girl presented her paper with this sentence-" When I am sleepy I always • chasm. But this is hardly equal to another teacher's expertence. She gave out words for analysis. 4c Bank-note was one of them; and the teacher's astonish- ment may be imagined when one young lady brought the following unique D.alysll:- III Bank-note' is a compound primitive word, composed of bank' and' note.' Bank is a simple word, meaning the side of a stream; I note/to set down. Bank-note,' to set down by the side of a stream,"

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CHILDREN OF DARKNESS.

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AN OCTAVE OF SHORT STORIES]…