Weekly Mail

Hee's Prevent Nervous Prostration. Cases of nervous prostration are less frequent since low heels have come into more general use. They allow the whole weight of body to rest on the foot, remove the Jfcnsion to which the muscles are subjected by "^h heels, and keep the oalf of the leg in its tioruaal condition. » • • To Those on Ho'iday Bent. «V«ea a*r an<^ roountein a'r are exceedingly Afferent in their effeots. The person who pearly goes from one to the other is almost early goes from one to the other is almost lr4lnediately conscious of the physical in- J'uence of the change. As a general rule, therefore, those who live in iniand regions Will be likely to receive most benefit from a visit to the seashore, while dwellers in cities and towns along the seaboard will ordinarily be profited most by a sojourn in the country # Think Less of Yours If. The first enemy that ill-health brings in Its train is, perhaps, egotism, and a formidable wui 0ften prove. The man who Bever enjoys good health is forced to keep SQard over himself, to ask whether this or *hat thing will hurt him, to watch whether his or that courseof treatment seemstobethe jfiore hopeful. H is thoughts being thus drawn towards himself, he becomes self-absorbed, Aly heal I h, my interests, my concerns begin to take a larger place in the moving panorama of life than they do with a pb"sically healthy # 5 # What Makes Wrinkles. The general impression about wrinkles is that they are caused by worry, but the truth is that most of them come from laughing. To know how to laugh is just as important as to know when to do it. If you laugh with the sides of your face the skin will work loose In time, and wrinkles will form in exactl 1cordanee with the kind of laugh you have. I e man who always wears a smirlil, "'111 have a series of semi cir Oular wrinkles covering his cheeks. A f^Ubler, who is accustomed to suppressing ?'8 feelings, generally has a deep line running tfom each 8i(ie Qf his nose to the upper corner ° £ jhis mouth, which in time extends to the ckiu, forming the shape of a half-moon. A cadaverous person is usually marked with two wrinkles, one on the jaw and the other undAr the eye, meeting at right angles at the ceek bones. The scholar's wrinkle forms on his brow, while the schemer's wrinkles come found his eves, and look like spokes of a Th9 Need of -al-Ap. Dr. Talmage write There is not one man or woman in 10,000 who afford to do without seven or eight hours' ^eep. y.oae stories written about great men women wiio slept only three or four hours a 11Ieht make verv. interesting reading, bnt I tell my render*, no man or woman ever yet kePt healthy in body and mind for a uumber of years will, lesg than seven hours sleep. Americans Ðeed more sleep than they are getting. This lack tnakøs them so nervous and the insane asylum so populous. If vou can get to bed early, then rise "arty. If you "cannot get to bed till lato, then rise It may be as Christian for one man to rise eight as it is for another to rise at five. I Counsel my renders to get. up when they are Sted. But let the rousing bell be rung at least minutes before your public appearance, FHYSIEIANS say that a sudden jump out of bed gives irregilitir motion to the pulse. It takes hours to get over a too sudden rising. Give us time after You call us to roll over, gl\e at the world full in the face, and lorik before we leap." Digestion and the Brain. The dyspeptic who, of course, eats only a light supper may resort to the use of a towel Wet with tepid water and covered with a dry °loth, the whole then applied to the pit of the stomach. Before the sufferer knows it he will float into shadow land, such is the Empathy between the organs of digestion and the brain. Owing to the position of the stomach flight sleeper ought to sleep on the right aide instead of the left, never on the baok. If there is a tendency to cold feet, a thin Woollen blanket may line the lower third of the bed. The limbs ought not to be greatly flexed, a position which prevents free circu- lation, and they should rest upon one another Ightly. The night light, where used, ought to be a tiny taper, and not gas or kerosene, both of which devitilise the air. A darkened room is best. Nature puts out her light and draws her ourtain of darkness for a purpose. 'With good habits, physical and mental, and a determination not to deal with anodynes, sleep may be won from its shyest lair to 'Watch over the restless pillow.-Good ffouseJceejring. ? Consumption. It is a curious faot that butchers are almost exempt from consumption. If we remember that their shops are airy and open, that they are abundantly fed on animal food, and that from early meroing they are rapidly driving about in the open air, taking much exercise and living well, we shall be able to understand the influences which prevent the access of ohest affeotions. These conditions of open- air exercise and high feeding are, in fact, antagonistic to consumption. It lnust not be supposed that we are Urging all threatened consumptives to be- come butchers, but their mode of life might be imitated with advantage. Dust is one of the commonest causes of lung misohief. In many cases it is not the only exciting cause, ut often it is the chief and most deadly of those employed in many dusty ocoupations is simply enormous. We are told few men who enter rooms in cotton factories ever live to attain the age of 38. Out of 27 men in a flax factory 23 had some form of chest disease. The noxious influence of var- nishes, turpentine, and drying oils in developing consumption is well known. Chest affections are by no means infrequent among artisans who use solder, such, for instance, as tinmen, coppersmiths, and goldsmiths. Wood- turners and those whose work necessitates the use of sand-paper are usually great sufferers. Many plans have been devised for preventing the entrance of dust into the air-passages, and some are very simple and worthy of adoption. The practice of wearing a respirator or a veil over the mouth and nostrils, with the growth of the beard and moustache, may be cited as examples. The objection usually made to the respirator is the expense, but one made of cork can be obtained from the chemist's for a shilling. The mid-day meal should never be taken in the workshop, and the hands should be washed befere going out to dinner. These may seem little matters, but only those who have workmen for patients know how oon- several deleterious influences to which work- men are exposed. The mortality amongst stantly they are neglected. In dusty occupa- tions the pores of the skin get blocked up by the dirt, and it then ceases to perform its functions. Normally it acts as a direct purifier of the blood, being associated with the kidneys and lungs in this direction.— Fro'" H" Family Physician for September. • A Rocm for Sickn, There are few things (says Good House- keeping) more conducive to the comfort of a family than a room suitably arranged for sickness. Without it, there is much unne- cessary inconvenience, not only to the one who is ill, but to every member of the family. Especially is such a room desirable in contagious diseases. Many have lost loved ones just because the plan and fur- nishing were such that it was impos- sible to separate the sick from the well. And yet it would seem from the general management at such times that many parents think that if one child be taken with scarlet fever, for instance, every child in the family must of necessity have it. There is no greater mistake. Scarlet fever is seldom, if ever, communicated beforetheeroption is developed. This may be doubted by many, but when we know that children frequently escape when exposed in the fever stage it is certainly the part of wisdom to take advantage of this knowledge. Many parents become frightened if there happens to be a case of scarlet fever in the school. The truth is, there is comparatively little danger of taking this disease in the beginning. The danger arises from carelessness in allowing the child to return to school and wear the clothing that has been worn during convalescence, or left where the emanations from the eruption could have lodged in the texture. This suggests the exercise of the greatest possible care. A case of scarlet fever in a room where there are curtains, carpet, papered walls, with other ordinary furnishings, will make it unsafe for occu- pancy indefinitely, unless the germs of the disease be destroyed; and in a room of this kind one never feels sure that the fumigation has been sufficiently thorough. On the other hand, with a room properly located and arranged, no danger in the future need be apprehended. Under these ciroumstances, j the most dreaded of all the diseases of children would, in the majority of cases, be limited to one case in the family, and the danger to that one greatly lessened. The necessity for such a room in every home is almost imperative. We should be surprised if we could estimate how often and how much of the time such a room would be used. When all the members of the household are well, such a room would be quiet and restful, where anyone might go for a nap, from father and mother down to baby. The last is of no small consideration when we take into account the suppression necessary to be exercised when someone, either accidentally or intentionally, falls asleep on the sitting-room couch. The convenience of even a small house would be greatly increased if one room in it were planned with a view to comfort in this direc- tion. -• •• ■■■ ■ V

NARROW ESCAPE FROM A r I ATE RSPOUT. The Indiaman Sybil, homeward bound, was ploughing her way through the Indian Ocean when the look out aloft sang out the warning cry: "Waterspout on weather bow, bearing right down upon us The captaiii immediately began prepara- tions to save the ship from the threatened disaster. The sailors jumped to obey his orders, though somewhat palsied by the rapid approach of the gyrating and murky mass of water which seemed to be formed of two solid cones, the base of one resting on the sea and that of the other to be lost in the inky clouds above, while their apexes were united in the shape of a huge screw, which bent and twisted as the spout rushed onward with the velocity and din of a cyclone. Inspired by their oommander's example, the sailors tore adrift a large spar lashed in the Gangway, and in an almost incredibly shoi, time had it suspended ten feet above the deck, arranged to be dropped in a flash but not an instant too soon, for the water- spout was within fifty yards of the vessel. With blanched face the Captain cut loose the suspended spar and sprang among the men under the fo'c'sle." # The heavy timber fell with a mighty orash to the deck, the spout was seen to stagger for an instant and then oollapse with the roar of a Niagara, throwing tons of water upon the deck of the imperilled vessel. The Sybil was saved, and though badly battered, concluded her voyage in safety. ETAK.—In Evening World. Strange Craze of a Young Man, A young man living in Hancock, county Me., refused to give his name to the census enumerator, and it was found on inquiry that he is a cranky individual, who never speaks to anyone but his parents. He is 25, pood-looking and perfectly intelligent, but no one but his father and mother I ever hear his voice.

A Vacant Town-Clerkship. Some two years ago the Scarborough Town Council required the town-cietk, Mr. George Dippie, to send in his resignation. This was done, but the acceptance of it was deferred. On Thurs- day, at a specinl meeting of the council, it was moved that the resignation be now accepted, ana the motion was adopted unanimously. The salary is X400 per annum.

COLEMAN'S LIFBIO'S EXTRACT OF MKAT AN"» ^ALT WINK.—A 2s. 9d. bit tie of this celebrated wi ne sent ttee by parcels post fo:- 33 stamps. Over ti.000 le^1.1" n received fnm medical men. Coleman and Co.(ijiJn >• Sold every wliere. TOSTHACHIS WOL, bl3, Instant cure; destroys the nerve, 01 Chemists. Postfre-iseven tinqpl. Pronri" T. (:. Richards (late Jiwviil), Ctitixua.. 'i <>< B'iv iitton. #ri»l*l.

THE LADIES. Seventy Miles of Htirl ladies consider that they carry some 40 or 50 miles of hair on their head; the fe-ir-haired may even have to dress 70 miles of I threads of gold every morning. # U. A Woman's Definition of Love. What is love?'' asked an editor. He has I since been deluged with answers mostlv from the fair sex. Ono lady says: Love is an itching of the heart that we cannot get at to scratch." it- Happiness. The foundation of domestio happiness is faith in the virtue of woman. The founda- tion of political happiness—a confidence in the integrity of man. rJ he foundation of all bappm%&8, temporal and eternal—reliance on the goodness of God. • A Woman's D. finition of Women. Mdme. Neoker once compared the conver- sation and influence of certain women to "light layers of cotton wool in a box packed with porcelain we do not pay much atten- tion to them, but if they are taken away every- thing would be broken." The Modern Novel Reader. An average reader gets through about 400 words a minute. This is without reckoning the young lady reader who skips through the mtroductory chapters of her novel, searches diligently for the love scene, and then turns to the end to see if the book finishes in the way she desires. • 0 \< S yings by the Queen of Roumania. "Women who meddle with politics are fowls who make themselves vultures." "In correcting the faults of ohildren, women keep above all in view those of their husbands and family." Man is rather a poor creature, thinks It Carmen Sylva." He studies a woman, she assures him, as he studies the barometer- He does not understand till the day after." • # Woman's Work Is Never Done. Married ladies would do well to paste in their scrap books the following statistics, compiled by an exchange, relative to a woman's work:—In one year a woman orders dinner 3G5 times, gets the children ready for school twice a day for 180 days, gets the baby to sleep 1,460 times, makes about 300 oalls, and, as she wishes for something she hasn't every minute, she wishes 60 things an hour. Who says that a woman has nothing to do P Armed with such an array of facts any wife may calmly await the next time when her husband tells her that her activity is limited m duration and degree, and then simply paralyse him by quoting figures. • The Fidgets. fidgeting is the worst habit you can give way to. It will come back at times when you can't satisfy yourself. It's a way you get into, and it'll follow you up. Don't get out of bed to see if you have locked the door, when you know there isn't one chance in a hundred that you haven't. Don't pull your letter open to see if the money is safe and right, when you know you had it in your hand to put in, and it can't be anywhere else. Don't keep making crazy dives into your pockets and bag to see if your purse and your keys are there, after you've started on your journey, and you can't help it if they are not. i- Making Beds, Do you know I think all girls ought to be taught how to make beds, Very few ser- vants ]-now anything about it, and we all know how little one sleeps on a badly-made bed. At a convent, where the nuns are French, this is made a great point of, and even the daughters of proud patricians have to take their turn at learning the art, and have to do it over and over again antil they are perfeot. Maids will have their own pet theories as to how much sheet to turn over at the top, and how much (and how little!) to tuck in at the foot, and until a mistress is able to go and show her the right way she will periat in arranging matters so that one's feet oome in contact with cold iron whilst blankets encircle our sacred chin. • Mothers. Charles Lamb, in one of his letters to Coleridge, says:- I think, sometimes, could I recall the days that are passed, which among them should I choose ? The days, Coleridge, of a mothers fondness for her sohool boy. What would I give to call her baok to earth for one day, on my knees to ask her pardon for all those little asperi- ties of temper which, from time to time, have given her gentle spirit pain; and the day, my friend, I trust will come. There will be time enough for kind offices of love if Heaven's eternal year be ours. Oh, my friend, cul- tivate the filial feelings, and let no man think himself released from the kind charities of relationship; these shall give him peace at the last, these are the best foundation for every species of benevolence." That Hideous Divided Skirt. A lady who has bought herself a divided skirt declares that polite language fails to do justice to what she has endured since she donned it. Here are the lady's exact words as they appeared in a London paper quite recently:- "Talk about a divided skirt being ensy to walk in and not impeding one's movements! Why, it's the clumsiest, floppiest, most draggy article that a woman can put on. Each section gets wrapped round and round, liko a loose sail winding about a boat's mast. When you go up and down stairs, it sags down until you tread on the hem, and trip up, if you're not careful. The fulness is set on to a circular yoke, which is for ever hunching up about your waist. And then the ugliness of the garment! Venus herself would scarecrows clad in its ungainly volume of silk or cotton that hangs without form, and might as well be void, since it obliterates all distinction of beauty—a woman with the most exquisitely moulded limbs and an old girl with props like kite-sticks being and an old girl with props like kita-sticks being alike hideous when enveloped in it." Choosing a Sweetheart. Choose your sweetheart carefully, wisely, and tenderly, my dear girls, liemember he is to be more than even this to you some day- he is to be your husband, for surely you are not one of the girls who have a sweetheart here and one there, and gives a little love to this one and a littlo to that one, until when the real one appears the perfect bloom is gone from the peach and she cannot give him what he offers her. You girls know very quiokly when a man means more than ordinary friend- ship for you. You have an instinct that teJis you that this big, good-looking fellow has come aweethearting, and that that is the time for you to study him a little bit. Think out if his tempep and yours are certain to agree well together; think out if his tastes and yours are alike, or if they can grow to be so, for you know, little women, if you want to be happy in your married life, you must learn the great and wonderful virtue of adaptability. You must ohoose your sweetheart as you do a new gown, so that he will wear well but you want him for longer than a winter he must last through the longsnmmer days and through the winter ones, and before you put your hand in his and tell him that you are willing to fight out the battie of life together, think it all over well and remember that you are choosing your sweetheart not for a day or a year, but for all through life and, please God, if you love each other enough, for after death. » ¡I TI1 3 Secret of a Long Life. You sometimes see a woman whose old age I is as exquisite as was the perfeot bloom of her youth. She seems condensed sweetness and grace. You wonder how this has come about; you wonder how it is her life has been a long and happy one, Here are some of the reasons:— She knew how to forget disagreeable things. She understood the art of enjoyment. She kept her nerves well in hand, and in- flicted them on no one. She believed in the goodness of her own daughters and in that of her neighbours. She cultivated a good digestion. She mastered the art of aayiog pleasant words. She did not expect too much from her friends. She made whatever work came to her con- genial. She retained her illusions and did not believe that all the world was wioked and unkind. She relieved the miserable and sympathised with the sorrowful. She retained an even disposition, and made the best of everything. She did whatever came to her cheerfully and well. She never forgot that kind words and a smile cost nothing, but are priceless treasures to the discouraged. She did unto others as she would be done by; and, now that old age has come to her and there is a halo of white hair about her head, she is loved and considered. Th's is the secret of a long life and a happy one. Nugge", When a woman begins to get as sweet as sugar look out for sand. Marriage is a lottery in which all draw something—usually a baby carriage. Beauties often die old maids. They set such a value on themselves that they don't find a purchaser till the market is closed. When a man starts out to lecture he dons a dress suit. Lovely woman does most of her lecturing in her night-gown. Your heart," said the lectarer, "beats seventy times a minute." This computation does not bold good for ladies running away from a mad bull. A book on etiquette thinks it "bad form for a man to smack his lips in the presence of ladies." Of course it is. What's the matter with smacking the ladies' lips ? It. happened one time that a Mr. Fell in love with a ma:den and kr. And he said Ba try wife. And bring joy to my life She said No, but I will be your sr."

Pettitt Resigns the Tennis Championship, Pettitt,the CourtTennis Champion of the World, has written a letter to the London Field in which he say# To prevent any possibility ot n>»- understanding In future, I wish to say it is not tuv intention to defend my tennis championship. I cannot afford to give the time which preparation for a match requires. I hereby formally resign the title, and cannot answer any challenges which maj be sent me." I l

A CAitD.-A Clergyman will send, free of ch;trg. a preecriptíon for taa cure of all who suffer trora the errors and indiscretions of youth, nerve a*, debility, physical exhaustion, and early decay. This great romcdy was discovered by a Missionary in Old Mexico; it saved him from a miserable exis. tenco and an early grave. Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Kev. JOSEPH HOLMES, Bloom?-' bury Mansions, 15ioomsbui;v-i$r.uare, London, Mention this paper :.{'r.f.\f\

A FOOTBALL SKETCH. 0. M FIRST AND LAST MATCH. There are some people who seem made to cover themselves with glory and mud in field- sports and out-door games. To my mind, there is nothing more distasteful than one of these creatures, Good all-round men !"— Muscular Christains -call them what you will. They are so huge and so healthy- have such enormous capacities for running, walking, shooting, eating, drinking and sleep- ing-that their very existence is an embodied sneer at their less fortunate fellow-men. Nothing comes amiss to them they will spend the whole day in some violent exeroise, dance all night (and with the prettiest (;'4'('11', too), and be up the next six. And, what is more, they it My friend Bunter is one of these animals. He is always worrying you to feel his muscle or measure his calf, while he takes more pride in his stupendous ohest measurement than any woman does in a small waist, He has only one redeeming point—and that is his sister Beatrice. It was to please Beatrice Bunter that I played my first and last game of football. Now, I have not the slightest wish to cry down our winter national game. Do we not all.know what it has done for British physique? Waterloo, it has been said by somebody somewhere, was won in some playing-fields or other but still, in the face of this statement, and at the risk of being called a coward and a white-livered sneak, I'm sure-for anything I know about it my liver may be as white as wool-that football is really a most un- pleasant game. However, when Beatrice exclaimed one day, Ob, Mr. Foozleton, how nice you'd look in a pink jersey I determined to do or die. For aught 1 then knew I might possess some extraordinary and preternatural innate power, hitherto undeveloped, of collaring, touching down, throwing forward, or doing any of those seemingly easy actions which evoke rounds of applause on the football field. I must confess, judging from my signal failure at all other manly sports, that I bad not very great hopes of success. At golf I never could hit the ball; at cricket the ball always hit me at tennis I always hit too hard. Still, in my mind's eye, I pictured myself kicking goal after goal, as collaring all who should dare cross my path and, finally, as carried off the field by my excited companions, while Beatrice was clapping her small gloves together till they split. The eventful day came! And so did my jersey A pink one not being attainable, this consisted of alternate stripes of all the colours hitherto discovered, and a few others as well. Beatrice subsequently decried it as being loud, but, as I told her, its brilliancy was the very reason why I chose it for how else would she distinguish me from the mere common herd ? I can now quite understand the mistakes which missionaries tell us I savages make over the first herald of civilisa- tion—a pair of breeches. I had a hand-to- hand struggle with that jersey I took at least half an hour in getting into it, though I muet admit when I did succeed in getting it on it fitted like a glove, and like an uncom- monly uncomfortable glove too. When I arrived at the acene of action I found that I was a quarter of an hour late, and that they had begun without me. This, fact, combined with the shouts to hurry up," flurried me considerably. I took ff my coat and entered the lists, feeling very like an early Christian about to face an arena-full of uncommonly ferocious lions. Bunter seemed ulle to be greatly struck with my jersey but as there was no time to express admiration, bade me play it three-quarter," and kick as much possible. I gladly accepted this post; for, from the little I knew of the game, I had con- cluded that it was a remarkably conspicuous position, and one in which it would be easier l to win applause than as a mere menial for- ward. T had barely hud time to collect my. self when I saw the ball rolling rapidlv to. wards me, pursued by some twenty breathless youths, evidently thirsting for my blood. I naturally concluded that my kiok would have more effect if I accomodated myself to the motion of the ball, and hastened it on its way, then I faced it and its pursuers. Con- sequently, as it approached me, I turned and dealt it a kick which I flattered myself would materially assist my side. I was preparing to bow to the applause which, as I supposed, would naturally follow this spirited aotion on my part, when what was my surprise to find it greeted with roars of laughter from the T spectators and yells of rage from my com- panions, among whom Bunter was the first to me for a duffer. To my horror I found that I had kicked it the wrong way and I was hastening to apologise when once more I saw it rolling towards me. I determined this time to refrain from kicking it, but to pick it up, and, if possible, to blot out my reoent disgrace by a splendid rue, worthy of receiving special notice in the next day's newspaper. No sooner had I picked it up, and whilst I was yet meditating in which direction to urge on my wild career, than a great, coarse, hulking brute (who might really have shown better manners) rushed at me, and without so much as by your leave," seized me round the waist and hurled me to the ground, where he continued to hold me tightly and to shout Held." This remark—if intended for me—was un- necessary, as I informed him with pardonable sarcasm. By the time I had recovered from thia shock to my system, I descried the ball and players at the other side of the ground, I whither I hastened to join them, when Bunter proceeded to inform me, in forcible rather than polite language, to go forward." I thought of Beatrice, and swallowing his abuse, went forward, waving my hand and orying en avant" to a knot of friends who had assembled purposely to see me play. To tell the truth, I was only too glad to have an opportunity of hiding my diminished head ia the midst of the scrum." But this was the difficulty. I could not hide my bead. I put it down and shoved in the orthodox manner, and after a short interval I found myself upright in the centre of the seething mass, buttressed op, as it were. by some fourteen heads, all apparently shoving in opposite directions. I never realised till then how many and how hard are the bumps concealed by the human hair. My sensations were diametrically opposed to those that must have been experienced by the classical personage who was torn to pieces by wild horses. I am firmly convinced that, while I was thus the centre of attraction, one abandoned youth-in order to ensure keeping his place-took between his teeth a consider- able portion of the fleshy part of my leg, thus causing me the most acute anguish. This was, however, to a certain extent allopathically alleviated by some one else treading firmly and heavily upon my tOC9. By dint of thumping the baoks (the ouly part visible) of those surrounding me, I managed to escape from my unpleasant condition, and was much relieved shortly afterwards by a cessation of hostilities half-time being called. After a few minutes' interval spent in taking lemon juice and the sarcastio advioe of my friends (l cannot say which of the two was the more acid), and the game was resumed; and one of my side gained a try, to which 1 materially contributed by collaring and putting hors de combat the referee, whom I had hitherto taken for some commanding officer on the other side, ex- horting them by the strains of his whistle. Bunter-bearing in mind my stupendous though erring kick in the earlier part of the fray —intrusted the attempt at goal to me: and having brought forth the leather (I believe this is the correct term) prostrated himself before me and asked me how I liked it. I answered gibly enough, Straight up and down though I had not the slightest idea what I meant. I was preparing to send it flying gracefully over the cross-bar, when Bunter, like an impetuous idiot, put it down without giving me any warning, upon which incident the other side rushed at me like ona man. I did not, however, lose my presence of mind but, retiring a few paces, advanced at a run, and letting fly a tremendous kick, suddenly experienced the sensation of having f broken my leg off short just above my boot. When I recovered, I found I had embedded my foot several inches in the ground, while the ball was lying peacefully where it had been placed—" Straight up and down This was too much I had really hurt my foot; and in spite of the vials of wrath poured forth on my head, I spent the next quarter of an hour as a spectator, sitting on the ground. When my foot bad recovered, I joined once more in the game, and I was relegated to back, that being (in this case at all events) an unenviable post, in which I had nothing to do except shiver. It was about this time that the rain came on, and that I onoe mora in- curred the abuse of my side—and the jeers of the populace—by putting up an umbrella. This was, in my opinion, the wisest thing that I did in the whole afternoon. But as I had no wish to make Bunter really angry I furled it, after having practically demon- strated to him that the crooked handle would be of the greatest service in upsetting foes. This feat, he insisted, was unsportsmanlike and further said, unkindly, that I had bettor stop playing altogether, or else join the other side. The rest of the match was a painful dream, or rather nightmare. I went forward again, and when I was really scrumming hard on the outskirts of the heaving mass, I was told not to screw." When I seized the ball and carried it in triumph for 50 yards, much sur- prized at finding no one to pursue me, I was called ignominiously baok; and I found to my disgust and the amusement of the spectators, that I had been off-side or bad committed some such heinous offence. Finally, when I bad determined to collar a man who was run- ning rapidly towards me with the ball, the great coward deliberately aimed at my head, and kicking the ball,dealt me a blow(I could not have imagined a piece of inflated leather was so hard) that I went through the rest of the game half-stunned and I deoided that the safest policy was to keep ten yards or sc behind the ball. But the unkindest cut of all was to come, On the way home I overtook Beatrice, and she cut me—cut me dead That game of Huby resulted in my being sent to Coventry. -From Baily's Magazine of Sports and Pastimes.