Weekly Mail

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0 Pendragon" redivivus! Ladies and gentlemen b,78 ind girls: kind readers all of my wayward lucubrations in the past,May I be, of you to accord your patronage to me in the future as you have done hitherto? I am still the Grumbler-in- General; I am still trying my best, as the Arthurian knights did centuries ago, to "rido abroad redressing random wrongs," and I am still —as I hope I shall be until the time comes when the pen has to be hid aside—bent on the duty of speaking tha truth, even if I shame, not only the personality with the horns, but all who are averse to facing matters and things as they really exist. I shall adhere to the rule which has guided mo since I commenced to write jottings," never to "set down aught in malice," and while revealing my thoughts, at all seasons and on all topics, I P, shall, believe me, never hit below the belt; On tha other hand, I am not going to be namby-pamby, and seek to sholtei incompetency, hypocrisy, and wrong-doing generally because it may be alleged afterwards that somebody's particular suscepti- bilities have been touched. In bringing public grievances to light in by- gone days I have made enemies-two of them particularly are in my mind's eye as I write-but the hundreds of letters which have come to me every week are quite a sufficient indication that I have made—in printer's ink anyhow—troops of friends. I hope, and believe, too, I have made others in warm flesh and biood. May they endure unto the end. May I be permitted to indicate, as giving myself A good character, one or two works of charity which have been furthered by what I have had the privilege and the pleasure of setting down in black and white ? I will not recapitulate them We, but I think I may point to the Rifleman Fund and the fund-large beyond my expectations- which has just been raised for the dear little deaf tnd dumb scholars in the Romilly-crescent School it Cardiff to prove that I have not been altogether aseless when there is good to be done. By the kind assistance of many friends- I am deeply grateful to them to this day- I was the means of carrying succour to a sick woman named Fry during the month or six weeks' imprisonment of her hus- band, a man of previous good life, who was con- victed of stealing wood to keep the cold out of his bare and bitter room. Why, when I went and saw the poor consumptive wife, I could see death written as legibly in her face as if the bill-poster had stuck it there in all the glowing colours of the printer's art. She had nothing but a sack for her bed, and the only article of furniture in 'the apart- ment was a tliree-lagged stool. Through those kind friends of whom I have spoken Iwaenabiod to furnish the place roughly, but comfortably, and, above all, to give her a bedstead and bed upon which to rest her weary, worn-out limbs; a bed from which, ala.9 I the undertaker's men had to remove her before the expiration of the incarcera- tion of the one who had "sailed with her twenty fears, sirs, through the troublous waves of life." She did not have a pauper's burial either, for although the fund did not Hdmit of it, she was buried decently, and the cost fell upon my indi- vidual pocket. I take very little credit for these things. I should have been perfectly incapable of doing what has been done if I had not had a powerful newspaper at my back, which my worthy chiefs willingly and cordially allowed me to use as a lever for benevolence; and if I had not been backed up by a generous and sympathetic public. Thanks all round to you, with tears of gratitude in my eyes. I am afraid the authorities will not admit it, but I have some sort of opinion that I have been able —also by means of the space placed at my dis- posal-to correct some grievances, to abate a few nuisances, and to keep the official mind generally active. Those who have urged me to the task can be called as witnesses to bear me out on this point. I do not mean to relinquish this duty, which has from force of circumstances been imposed upon me. Pardon, pardon I have not yet ceased blow- ing my own trumpet. I have been entrusted with the task of editing the Weekly Mail, and it will bo my earnest desire to make it one of the most readable papers in the kingdom. The proprietors have reduced the price from twopence to a penny, and I intend -I Use the assertion without hesitation or reserva- tion-to eive the cheapest penny worth of Mteraturo to be had for love or money. I shall have the pleasure to submit to my readers, not the copied stuff, the" penny dreadful," and altogether depressing rubbish which has been presented else- where as "literature and fiction," but some whole- some and well-written stories, and a number of articles, contributed by local writers of repute, dealing with matters of purely local interest. I shall use a few illustrations, done on our own premises, which I hope will come out better than the smeared, rnfry blotches, borrowed from other sources, and quite incapable of being properly pro- duced by the borrowers, whose machinery and appliances don't fit in. I ask my jury of readers to look at the contents of this week's Weekly Jfail, and to tell me plump and plain whether they believe that I am gassing or whether I am only speaking the words of truth and soberness. Your verdict, gentlemen, if you please. The compilers of the other weekly paper, which tame out with such a splash—and, by golly, there is plenty of mud and dirt about it—and in such a violent hurry, thought they were going to surprise us. Well, they did a bit. It has, to my knowledge,, long been in contemplation by the proprietors of the Weekly Mail to reduce the price and improve the quality of their property. This news was imparted to the opposition shop, I suspect, by a discarded employe, and hence the eagerness and haste to forestall us. Didn't they keep matters dark, that's all. Everything was carried on with the utmost secreev. Not having a staff of their own on whom they could place reliance, they actually sent right away to the Midlands in order to get their bills, posters, kc., printed. Unfortu- nately, an unkind providence revealed the whole bag of tricks. En route to Cardiff one of the bundles gave way, and a portion of the contents were blown about by the indiscriminate wind. This was only a day or so before the publication, but it wits hours before they wanted us to know what their little game was. "The best laid schemes of men and mice aft gang a-gley." That's what Bobby Burns says, however. I noticed on one of these vagabond bills that this altogether wonderful production from up the street" was to bit one of the brightest papers in the wide universe, and I had the con- founded impudence to wonder who was to do the polishing up. None of the 'members of the firm are particularly well burnished that I know of—I must make the reservation if brass (mental, not metal) is to enter into the calculation-and as to the staff-well I won't utter a word against a If brother chip." The proprietors of the journal indicated are making it a boast, in large type, that they issued last week eighty-one thousand copies. We might have issued oue hundred and eighty thousand if we had adopted their tactics of giving them away. On Sunday I was out in one or two of the country districts in the neighbourhood of Cardiff, and I found that three papers, duly stamped and posted had been sent to every public-house, and I draw the not unreasonable conclusion that a similar gift was made to mine hosts elsewhere. I must add, for truth's sake, that the wrappers I saw were unbroken, and, therefore. I expect the papers will become "spills," and that the "sweetness" of their contents will never be discovered. I have received information from Cardiff, from Swansea, from Newport, from Merthyr, and other places that this journal of brightness was given away on the streets. Why, therefore, did not its fond progenitors make their issue greater than eighty thousand ? If I might be so impertinent as to answer my own inquiry, I should reply Because their machinery and appliances were unequal to a further strain. It will be seen by a reference to page 4 that we intend to offer a number of prizes, and I hope those who compete will be careful to observe the conditions, as by so doing they will save me r. good deal of trouble. The figure puzzle requires no study, and a child has just as good a chance of winning as the greatest mathematician. The word competition vall be found an interesting study. There are many, I am painfully aware, who have corns, upon which Mun- day's Viridine" is sudden death, and I need scarcely tell the competitors that the prize will not be restricted to the sufferers. This, as is the case in all the other competitions, will be open to all who cut out the coupon and send it along to me. The questions in the encyclopaedic competition this week are simple, and in the range,l should imagine, of fifth and sixth standard scholars. If the schoolmasters of the district will do me the honour, I should be glad if they would set the questions each week, for I am confident it would help them jn their arduous labours to teach the young idea bow to shoot." Those of my scholastic friends who are willing to aid me in this work would oblige by forwarding their series of, say, ten questions with the answers attached; and, if they do not object, I should like to use their names on the top of the competi- tion column. Since it has become generally known that I am to edit the Weekly Mail, I have received nearly five hundred letters from different correspondents. Thanks, friends, with my hand upon my heart, Might I trespass on the kindness of those who do me the honour to address me, and request that what they may have to tell me may be put as concisely as possible? If not I shall have to engage a secretary at a fabulous salary. I shall at all times be open to suggestions, and hope to profit by them. I am not thin-skinned- and am I not justified in this assertion by pomting to a good-natured caricature which has been made of me in the fourth page? The designer deserves a gold medal for the faithful piece of portraiture, and especially for the diminutive stature, the infantile rotundity, and the life-like eye-glass. I have received the following letter, containing six threepenny-pieces, which I have handed ovig to the parson of the poorest parish in Cardiff, St. Mary's, of which the Rev. G. A. Jones is the vicar:—"Sir,—Seeing an appeal in your local Jottings" for a Christmas dinner for the poor, will you please accept of the enclosed. It is one day's wages from a pnor labouring man." Bravo! my good friend. Your heart is in the right place #* Now I am getting into the old rut. Once more I grumble. Did anyone-even the longest-lived and most experienced scavenger—ever encounter any- thing like the beautifully consistent and six-inch deep slush which Is now to be found in the streets of Cardiff? It is true the weather has been awfully bad, but I should use this as an argument against the mannet in which our roads are constructed. A drenching rain and a strong wind if our streets were only in a proper condition would effectually dispose of the superfluous mud, but our pastors and masters believe in pulverising the stonss which are laid down into a powder as fine as flour, and I am not at all surprised at the consequence. I wind up my first complaint in my new capacity by making the following observation to all whom it may concern :—" Not too much steam-roller, but steam-roller enough." The following comes from Blackweir:—" Dear Pendragon,'—May I call your attention to a letter of mine which appeared in last Friday's Western Mail re 'Bogus Clubs'? As no one appears to have answered it, would it be troubling you too much to do so ? It seems very queer law that a man in Cardiff can be fined tbO and costs or one month's hard labour, and at Merthyr the young fellow referred to was fined the mitigated penalty of 125 or two months' hard labour, this club having been opened only three davs,and it being the first offence. Perhaps, if you took the matter up, the sentence might be reduced to one month, which would expire on Saturday week. This young man was the sole support of a widowed mother in indigent circumstances; and you can imagine what a mise- rable Christmas it will be for her if hoe son remains in gaol. Have the magistrates power by law to give anyone more than one month for a first offence of this kind ? Your early attention through the Weekly Mail (of which I am pleased to see you have been appointed manager), or any other source, will veryamuch oblige." In answer to my correspondent, I am bound to express the opinion that the magistrates have acted within their powers. I am very sorry for the young man, and more so for his mother Perhaps if some of those who think the punishment excessive would get up a petition to the Home Secretary and beg of the justices who imposed it to help them in the matter the prisoner might yet be able to take his roast beef and plum pudding with his distressed family. The proposal to add a children's wing to the Newport Infirmary in commemoration of the Queen's Jubilee is one which has my cordial sym- pathy. Libraries and Art Galleries are well enough in their way, but they arc pretty well dotted up and down the country now, and there is no parti- cular urgency for increasing them. A children's Infirmary in an ever-expanding town likts Newport would, I am convinced, be an inesti- mable boon to the community, and, alas t I fear there is plenty of necessity for it. I have had the pleasure akin to pain of going through the Shand children's ward at the Cardiff Infirmary, and my heart went out in thanks to God, who had put it into the heart of the generous lady who provided it for the sick and sorry little ones. Everything is so cheerful and nice, and the nurses bestow such care and attention upon their afflicted charges, that one imagines that they are their own fond mothers. I go in for a children's infir- mary for Newport most thoroughly. Talking of infirmaries and institutions of a kindred character reminds me that I had the privilege of being at the Cardiff Infirmary one day last week, when a number of ladies and gentle- men—among them your obedient servant-did their best to entertain those patients who weresufficienlly convalescent to bo pressnt on the occasion. All seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves, although now and then spasms of pain were indicated in the faces of some of the poor creatures, but they quickly changed, like dissolving views, into happy smiles. At the Cardiff Workhouse this week I was also one of the privileged visitors at an entertainment given for the amusement of the inmates. The large dining-hall was crowded with men, women, and children, all comfortably clothod, and not a few bearing in their faces the signs of robust health The programme was a varied one; the singing of the Glee Union, of Mr. Richard JMliott (the inevi- table Father O'Flynn"), and the ventriloquial en tertaiouient of Mr. Stephens, were particularly acceptable, and we werequite a merry party in the poor-house that night. I award, on my own account, a hearty vote of thanks to the master of the workhouse, Mr. Greenhalgh for his thought- fulness in breaking, in this pleasant fashion, even for a couple of hours, the monotony of workhouse life. The public meeting convened in the Cardiff Town-hail on Wednesday night for the purpose of forming a Ratepayers' Association was not, it must be admitted, an unqualified success. I dare- say this result is attributable to the shocking weather, for the night was one of the most pitiless we have experienced for years; but I may be per- mitted, perhaps, to add a second reason for the paucity in the attendance-I am afraid the meeting had not been adequately whipped up. However, I am sure of this, that, whatever happens, a Ratepayers' Protection Association is one of the things to be looked for in the immediate future. Mr. Tylke pointed out in the course of bin speech a number of abuses, the enumeration of half of which ought to have .-purred tii\j towQSi)H>OL)i« into animation if not inJigtutioa. Oiiicialdom can take this tip from I me, that a Ratepayer's Association is as sure to come as I am sure to keep the public attention directed to its necessity. There has been much excitement in Newport in reference to the strained relations between the chairman of the School Board and one of the schoolmistresses, who, it is positively alleged, told her scholars that the Protestant Bible used in the schools was only a corrupt version of the Catholic one. If this remark was made I do not think it was at all judicious, and care should be taken that there should be no recurrence of such a statement. I am quite aware teachers sometimes have to put up with a deal of interference, and even persecu- tion, at the hands of some of those who are placed over them, which is not only very unpleasant, but lias a tendency to undermine their authority with the children. I don't allege that this is the case at Newport, but I think before the board tina!ly disposes of this matter they should dili- gently inquire whether there is a suspicion of this sort of thing being carried on in their midst. Let us have justice on the square and all round. A missionary at Cwmtillery, Newport, Mon., writes, December 6 :_h Dear' PendragoD,One day last week I received a circular with the Western Mail to say that the Wtekly JIail in future would be reduced to one penny. This morning the news girl handed me the Western Mail and another copy folded in the same way. 'Hallo,' I thought to myself, th", Western fail people are determined not to allow the grass to grow under their feet.' And after glancing over the Western Mail. and looking for the names of the English bishops who atten- ded the Council of Aries, was disappointed in my search. I laid the paper aside as I was anxious to si-e how the Weekly Ifail looked under the new arrangement, but what think you was my surprise when I found that I was not reading the Wtekly Mail at all but tho South Wales Weekly News-a dish more distasteful than Scotch porridge." I have received a very complimentary letter from a gentleman at Risca, who flatters me by saying that a jotting which I wrote about the town whan I was occupying another sphere had worked wonders" in raising the- slumbering en- thusiasm of the Conservatives. My correspondent thinks that a jotting now and then, as a sort of a re- minder, would do good. Agreed. The cause is a good one,and I am sure those who direct the Conservative Club-a cosy and. at the same time, a commodious and well-appointed institution—only have to keep their shoulders to the wheel to open the eyes of those who have been following a blind lead. The great meeting of Unionists this week, at which all the best men of the Liberal party declared for Conservatism rather than a disintegrated Empire, and especially the fervent and plain-spoken words of Mr. John Bright, should, and will, give a great impetus to Constitutionalism, and we should not fail to take advantage of it. I am almost ashamed to put this extract from my correspondent in print, but I do so for the purpose of making a reply:—"The ladies have been very much put about since the banquet, for they wanted to find out and have a look at Pen- dragon' so much, and they say he is a very naughty man, for he promised to bring his papers and tell all about the Primrose League. Of course, I tell them that the long speeches that you very rightly spoke about took the wind clean out of your sail. I hope you will pardon me for taking up your valuable time, but it is my duty to thank you, and I do so with all my heart." Well, all I can urge in my defence is that I am very sorry for the disappointment of the Risca ladies, but if they would like to see a representation of me, although it is rather rough on my personality, they can do so for one penny invested in the Weekly Mail this week. As to the Primrose League papers, I left them with my friend, Captain Wilkinson-may his shadow never grow less-and if there has been any default he is re- sponsible. A cruel, practical joke has been perpetrated on a well-known Cardiffian, and for the love I bear the brute creation I will give half a guinea reward to anyone who will disclose the name of the per- petrator. The gentleman indicated is the owner of a favourite terrier. During his (the man's not the dog's) absence from home a letter was re- ceived by a veterinary surgeon bearing the signa- ture of the owner, requesting that tho animal's tail should be docked by an inch. The operation was duly performed, and when Mr. returned home he did not notice the mutilation at first. Accidentally knocking up against the wounded part, the suffering creature seized first one foot and then the other of his master, who made a bolt in the belief that the dog had gone mad. There is no fun in this; it is pure cruelty, and ought to be punished. Moore and Burgess's Minstrel's! What a host of pleasant associations! the very mention of the names of these caterers for the public amusement for almost a quarter of a century. During the renovation of their fixed abode in London, they will take a tour through some of the larger towns in the provinces, and Cardiff is to be gratified by a visit for the first three days in the coming week. .The entertainment provided is so well known, its capabilities so thoroughly appreciated, that it would be superfluous in me to attempt a puff. To those unacquainted with the facts I have only to say: "Go." Those who are responsible for the shocking cases of cruelty disclosed in the Newport Police- court on Wednesday ought to be ashamed of themselves. The Newport and Maindee Omnibus Company and all connected with it deserve to be publicly censured, and I am going to do the office. In their stables they had a number of horses which had ugly sores about them, and they were all in a dreadfully emaciated condition. They had no litter, and what food they bad the luxury of con- suming was unwholesome. One of the animals fell down in the stable from sheer exhaustion, and it was stated in evidence that blood was all about the stalls. It is shocking! One of the ostlers, who had been summoned in conjunction with the manager, admitted that he knew all the horses were bad, but he was told by the manager that he must do the best he could with them. A pretty sort of company this Newport and Maindee Com- pany, and a pretty sort of a manager they have, to be sure! I hope and trust that the public will do what Mr. Kessick, the magistrate's clerk, an- nounced his intention of doing: "Never to ride in their conveyances again." Such a brutal lot deserve Boycotting. It seems to me to be the height of absurdity to inflict insignificant mone- tary penalties, as was the case at Newport, for such diabolical offences as this. 'j People who enjoy rollicking fun should not fail to pay Cardiff theatre a visit during the course of next week, when Mr. A. W, Pinero's side-splitting Schoolmistress" is to be performed. The School- mistress" is similar in its character to the Magis- trate," and though the plot may be a trifle weaker. the dialogue is far more sparkling, and the ludicrous situations which arise considerably on. hance the jollity. e Mae'n hvfryd iawn ymaflyd yn fy ysgrifsll Gymreig—" oty'n wir," fel y dywed yr Hwntws Welsoch chwi sut beth erioed, man yr ysgrifsll hon 13l pe wedi tyfu yn un o esgyll y dduwies Cerid- wen, ac yn earn y Gvmraeg. Pobl (I gartref ydym ni, y Cymry, pin gyda ieithoedd eraill. Ond me swn parabliadau yr Omaraeg fel swn cerddorineth oruchel i galon y gwir Gymro. Dyg ar gof i ni yr hen dy to-gwellt, yn cael ei amgylchu gan good afalau a pher, a'r ardd yn nghanol y wlad." Ond O! mwy anwyl fyth dyg i gof y Cymro yr hen bobl "-ei rieni. Gwel ctto y ford gron a'r cyssegr bychan ger y tin, a gwel a chlyw hcfyd foreuol aberth ei dad ar rhan y teilu oil: Dyna rhai o'r pethau a ddaw y Gymraeg i gof plant Gomer pa le bynag y byddont. Yr wyf fi yn credu bod Rhagluniaeth yn gwilio dros y (lym- raeg. Mae hi wedi byw gymaint o filoedd o flynyddoedd ar y ddaear, ac yn yr "ooser hwnw wedi dringo dros gymaint o rwystrau yn fuddugoliaethus, fel yr wyf yn golygu bod ei rhinweddau yn ddidroi yn ol, a'i dylanwad yn ddiderfyn. Mae rhai bobl yn gwneyd gwawd am fod rhai o honom yn golygu y siaredir y Gymraeg yn y Nefoedd. Wei, mae'n ddigon tebyg fod llawer 0 Gymry yno, ac nis gallaf gredu mae Saesoneg yw'r iaith a siaradant yno, pan oil yn gyttun yn yr un lie yn y Pentecost tragwyddol. A ydwyt ti, ddarllenydd, yn golygu mai yn yr iaith fain y gwna Rowlands, Llangeitho, a Williams, Panty- celvn, ymgomio am yr hen droion gynt yn Xghyooru" yn ngwlad y Goleuni? Na, na; y Gymraeg am dani! Yr wyf fi yn taer obeithio, or mewu llawer o laid heddyw, y caf glywed eto, yn Mharadwys, fy hen gyfaill, "Hiraethog," Henry Rees, Christmas Evans, John Elias, a Williams o'r Wern yn bloeddio Cymraeg y pryd hwnw oddiar esgynlawr angelion I Mae perchenogion y WEEKLT MAIL wedi ym- ddiried i mi y gorchwyl pwysig 0 gofnodi yr hyn a welaf ac a glywaf ar hyd a lied 11 Gwlad y Brynian." yn nghyda gwneud nodiadau ar faterioa yn dwyn pertliynas a Chymru, Cymro, a Chym- raeg. Yr hyn a glywafyn Ngwm y Rhondda y dyddiau hyn yw llawer o gydymdeimlad a gweithwyr Penygraig yn eu trailed blin. Teimlir, hefyd, yn ddwys dros berchenogion y gwaith. Dywedir eu bod wedi colli pob dimau goch yn eu hym- drechion i gario y gwaith yn y blaen, ac na roddasant i fyny nes eu bod ar y llawr yn llwvr. Mae sefyllfa pethau yma yn arddangos i bawb nad mel i gvd yw cario gwaith glo vn y blaen y dyddiau hyn. Hefyd, ei fod yn ofynol i bawb i ymddwyn tuag at berchenogion glofeydd gyda thynerweli mawr. Mawr yw'r stwr sydd tua godreu y Cwm yn nghylch y meddwon a ddeuant ar y Suliau, fel beidiau o locustiaid ar draws y lie, gan ddifa a throchi pobpeth. Maent hefyd yn difa 8U hunain yn y fargen. wrth anafu eu hiechyd. Yr oeddwn i ar y cyntaf o blaid cau y tafarndai ar y Sabbath. Nid wyf eto yn talu rhyw lawer o sylw i ddwndwr y tafarnwyr am newid y gyfraith, canys yr arian a'r aur y maent hwy yn eu ceisio. Ond erbyn hyn, feddyliwn i ei fod yn amlwg iawn mai cam- wri o'r niwyaf ydyw cau yr unig leoedd ag y gall bechginoa digartref, ond yn uuig eu lodgings, fyned i eistedd IiC, i ymgomio a'u gilydd. Nis gallant, fyth a hefyd, fod yn yr eglwys n.u'r capel. Ac Suliau oer a gwlawog, pa le sydd yn agored iddynt ? Bai mawr dirwestwyr yw areithio heb ddarpar gyferbyn ar Cyfnewidiad Cymdeithasol ag mae eu areithiau yn dadleu am danynt. Yr wyf fi yn ollol gredu mae mwy crefyddol fyddai darpar tipin 0 gysur i'r gweithwyr yn ei orieu hamddonol, nac adeiladu yr holl dai cyrddau, a thrwy hyny ormesu ar yraelodau trwy ddyledion trymion. I'r byd hwn y gwelodd Duw yn dda ein hanfon gyntaf iddo, a'r ffordd i'w barchu yw gwneyd y goreu ag y gallom o fewn y fangre ein hanfonodd iddi gyntaf. Gyda dyledus barch y dywedaf fy mod yn methu dirnad pa fodd mae pobl y capeli yn meddwl cyttuno a'u gilydd yn y Net am dra. gwyddoldeb os na allant gyd-addoli yma yn ngwlad y ddaear. Yr wyf yn ofni yn fy nghalon y bydd hi yn smash ofnadwy efo'r capeli yn Nghwm y Rhondda mhen tipin bach o amser. Gwelir yn y papyrau dyddiol bod crisis y capeli wedi dechreu mewn rhai ardaloedd yn Neheudir Cymru, Beth am gapel y Bedyddwyr yn y Gilfachgoch, Mr. Aneurin Cule? Mae y gwr parcbedig-nid yw yn bregethwr; ond, er hyny, y mae yn wr gwir barchedig—wedi cael llawer o golled a tbrafferth trwy iddo, mewn awr haelionus, fyned yn drustee dros ei frodyr. Gobeithio na wna y Bedyddwyr Cymreig, wrth fy mod yn son am golled Aneurin, trwy ymddiried yn ormodol yn ei frodyr, ateb, Ai ceidwad ein brawd vdym ni ?" Mae yn lied amIwg mai bechgyn lied oleuedig sydd yn lly wodraethu gwaith y Great Western, ger Pontypridd. Yr wyf yn cael ar ddeall fod ganddynt ddarllenfa i'r gweithwyr, am yr hon y tal y gweithwyr gyda llawenydd. Ac, yn awr, maent ar estyn adranau o'r ddarllenfa i'r pentrefi atngylchynol, lie y mae llawer o'r gweithwyr yn cartrefi. Da iawn, yn wir. # Pe byddai ardalwyr Pontypridd yn dangos y fath ysbryd goleuedig a gweithwyr y Great Wes- tern, byddai yr Act of Parliament ag sydd yn galluogi trethdalwyr i gael darllenfa trwy dalu tua ffyrling yn y bunt, wedi cael ei rhoddi mewn grym, a darllenfa ardderchog yn y Bont, ac adranau o honi trwy'r holl bentrefi cyfagos ac amgylchynol. Derbyniais yr hyn a ganlyno ardal Ystrad:— Doco hen Podryngallt fawr, Doco Gind v barcidtiiod Yn ymgyniil oco'n awr; Gan ddiftl ffrwyth yr hen ffigysbren A blanwyd er ys oesoedd maith, Llwyddiant, idd vii 1. medd Twm Llewelyn, Nes del terfyn ar eu taith.

The best thing about a rainbow is that it does not stay out after dark. It has not the absurd habits of a comet. Tramp: "Look here, these yere potatoes ain't peeled ?" Good Woman: Well, goodness, can't you do that much?" Tramp (with injured air): "I didn't ax fur any work. When I get that low I will run for Aldeiman." Is. he a good actor, one who can draw an audience ?" asked a critic of another member of the troupe. "fle's utterly useless," replied the rival; the only thing I know of that he can draw is Well!" A cork." An elderly gentleman, being greatly smitten by a young lady in church, passed her an open Prayer Book, with the passage marked at the marriage service Wilt thou take this man to be thy wedded husband ?" The girl quickly returned the book with this sentence strongly underlined- No woman may marry her grandfather." » ,There was an amateur theatrical performance a few nights ago in a fashionable mansion avenue. Gus de Smith was engaged to play the OMst in the manager," all in the world you have to do is to come in and say. I am my father's ghost,' and you must do it in a deep sonorous voice." Gus said he wanted some hard part where he might have a chance to spread him- self, but finally agreed to do as he was told. When the ghost's turn came he somewhat spoiled the tragic effect of the whole performance by saying, I am thy father's ghost, and you must do it in deep, sonorous voice." PARIS, DECEMBER 8. M. Gr6vy denounced np aifc. Anarchist, M. de Freycinet gone down "like ships at sea when heaven was ali tranquillity." M. Floquet and his plucky souvenir. Vivt la Pologne likely to suc- ceed as a stop-gap I But clinos and confusion will as surely come again in due course as death and the tax-gatherer. France seethes and surges be- cause, as Guizot observed, she is at once very new and full of the past. M. de freycinet was simply played out. When he arrivfcu at power, a short twelvemonth ago, he promised mountains and marvels. But all he did wan to elude his promises by juggling the commonpiazes-patriotism, pru- dencr, and the Republic's risks. Tfiat bag of tricks could not go far; the see-saw policy, like the pitcher going to the well, was smashed. The tight rope was worn to the last strand, and the performer came to the ground. And, unlike the Due de Guise when stretched a corpse on the floor, M. de Freycinet does not appear bigger by demise. Yesterday he was believed to be a necessity; to- day, the toy, on being examined, contains no in- ternal wonders, and it is sent to swell the lumber in the vast political limbo. The Premiership for M; de .Freycinet. was only his matriculation for tbeGrevy succession. He could never be the pilot for the present position of France or the guide through the situation into which she is drifting. M. Grevy got no uncertain hint from public opinion not to keep the crisis open by leaving Parliament to stew in itQ gravy," so as to necessitate the tinkering of the defunct Cabinet. Let the future be what it may for France, the moment is come for men of action to rule. Poultices and old women's cures are out of season. Serious diseases require heroic reme- dies. To-day France has to face a stationary, if not retrograding revenue; protectorates that may by complications be unable to be protccted-lik9 the occupation of Rome; a floating debt of five or six milliards of francs; a crushing taxation and bleak prospects for its augmentation a foreign policy where she is not so much isolated, as plunged deeper into that isolation, and a grouping of Germany, Austria, England and Italy for better for worse. The cause of de Freycinet's resignation is the reflection and the outcome of this anything but smiling picture. M. Floquet would not make a bad Prime Min- ister. The only objection urged is his having when a young barrister—and boys will be boys- shouted, under the nose of Alexander ll. of Russia, on his visiting the Courts," Vive la Pologne, Ifoitsieur!" And when the czar turned on his Kaulbars-heeled boot to reach his carriage, Vive la Pologne!" cried another barrister, raising his professional sugar-bag hat as Alexander was entering his carriage. The second voice from the tombs was Gambetta's. That was a good score of years ago; it was the moment when Prince Napoleon was president of the Polish Aid Society, and Frenchmen remembered more of Kasciusko and freedom's shriek than at present. when so manYfÏ them send congratulatory letters to General Katubars for his bird o' freedom flight through Bulgaria. Oh, flesh, flesh I How art thou fishified A very respectable section of opinion com- mences to think parliamentary institutions are not in their-place with the working of universal suffrage. The friction is too frequent, and the de- rangements too many. Hence, the demand to convoke a congress, and revive the constitution, in the sense of establishing a Constituent Assembly, as in 1793 and 1848. This is not to be confounded with the Convention, which does not make con- stitutions properly said-though it did a little at that business; Royer-Collard said there were in this world but two constituent powers—conquest and revolution, and the old royalist, Chateaubriand, bore witness to the constitunet assembly as the most illustrious, popular gathering that ever appeared among nations-despite what can be laid to its charge by the greatness of its pro- ceedings, and the immensity of its results. When the States General met in 1789, the three orders-the nobility, the clergy, and the people' orCrlmmunes-were to sit and extricate the country from its perilous position. But the first, two desir- ing to maintain their privileges," the Communes, alone chosen by a suffrage vote, declined to act with the other bodies, unless on an equal footing. Such being declined, Boissy-d'Angbs proposed and carried a motion to call the Communes' gather- ing a constituent or national assemby. Tha Abbe Sieyes at once put the idea in ship-shape.declaring, at the same time, the members inviolable, and when the Marquis de Breze, the Royal Chamber- lain, came in the name of the king to request them to dissolve, Mirabeau uttered his celebrated apos- trophe we are here, elected by the nation, and nothing but the force of bayonets shall make us leave." From that moment the nation was Sovereign. This was in June 1789. The next month commenced the duel between the king and his people. In advocatfhg the restoration of the Constituent Assembly,an idea dear to the unadulterated republi- cans, there would be no ministerial ins and outs; no cabinet pudding, hashes, or re-plasterings, for ministers would be only the executive, or big clerks of the assembly. Then there would be no president of the republic—which is only trotting to the front again the idea chaperoned by M. Grévy-whom fate has destined to belie his hobby. A word about the sub-Prefets, the last straw on the back of M. de Freycinet's burden of daily defeats, which neutralised all influence he could exercise on foreign relations, Russia, and even the silent Turk included. Prefets and sub-prethts have nothing in common with their Roman prototypes, save the name. A prefet rules a departement; it is his satrapey, bis pro-consulship. Odd, while no qualifications are exacted for the office of prefet-any dried up or Smell-fungus politician will do—the sub-prefet must be a man of parts. The prefet is the orgar of the Government, and the gendarme is its decree-executioner. Only in the provinces can the dignity and omnipotence of this functionary be measured. The prefet is a branch of the Home Office. Among other encyclopaedic functions it is lie who regulates the conditions for ringing the church bells; he decrees the opening and closing of the sporting season, the commencement period for the vintage the carting of a barrel of salt water from the ocean—a monopoly hitherto reserved for Mrs. Partington. The prefet is a politic.il agent, more or less active, according as he receives the straight tip from the powers that be. There is one prefet for each department; they are divided into three classes, with salaries varying from 8,000f. to 24,000f. a year, and a palace with all its furnished etceteras—to live in. The prefecture of Versailles was the abode of Kaiser William during the German invasion he was succeeded by Kaiser Thiers when the Communists ran him out- side the city fortifications which hfe was himself so instrumental in erecting. The sub-prefets are what their name implies; they are divided into three classcs, with salaries varying from 4,530f. to 8,000f.; they number nearly 300, and cost some 3,000,000f. per annum. It was this grant to the minnows being refused that led to the de Freycinet resignation. He might have tided over the Christmas Boulevard toy fair, and the boubon f6tes of New Year's Day, but he would not the the less certainly have collapsed after the Parlia- mentary holidays. That auto-phagist, Merlatti, has arrived at his psychological moment; he is to throw up the sponge. He has done the starvation exhibition loyally and well. As extremes meet, he is now to go in for the fat kira staffe. He receives as manv I presents of provisions—it is the basket-of-good things season—is would enable him to set up as a comestible dealer, say an Italian grocer. They are ladies who keep forwarding him the necessaries of life, to induce him to renounce the playing of self-destruction. It is the old role rehearsed, w the woman beguiled me, and I did eat." Merlatti is more obstinate than Adam, but he is a mountaineer and so headstrong, while our common ancestor inhabited, alas! the plain. There has just been interred one of the brafvest and best sons France ever possessed—General Pittie, General Military Secretary to M. Grevy. He had not an enemy, and the Madeleine seemed too small to accommodate, not the mourners, but the weepers. The deceased-was an accomplished and true gentleman in every sense of the word; no carpet knight since he returned from the battles of the Crimea and Italy, riddled with balls, and larded by bayonets and swords, Ho ranked next to Galliffett as "a thing of shreds and patches." Mars left him nothing whole but his heart. General Pittie was no mean literateur it WrlS not "f his •'OUiello" exploits helmed to converse, but of books, and, above all, of poetry. Of thu latter he wrote some excellent. Ho was a great admirer of Burn", and he lamented the bard could not be put into a French dress. The Opera-Comique has brought out the long- expected lyrical drama, Egmont, in four acts. The music, by M. Salvayre, is nothing, and yet success was staked on the score. The libretto by Messrs. Wolff and Milland, the charity sermon and the funny man contributors to the Figaro— was everything; and, aided by the excellent acting, became all." It is said the piece is an improved copy of Sardou's "Patrie." The librettists have just drawn on the history of the Netherlands time, the reign of Alba-Kaulbars, so full of tragic episodes, and fearful as well as faithful loves. Place—a "Romeo" and "Juliet" caught by Montagues and Capulets, on the balcony. The piece ends with a wedding, which, with harlequin rapidity, is trans- formed into a scaffold—that's Egmont."

THE LADIES' COLUMN. Edited by One of Them. VAGARIES OF THE WEATHE*. The weather is playing its old vagaries. Last week we were just rejoicing at getting clear of the fog when Jack Frost came down upon us with a suddenness that was universally admitted to be trying. Then, just as we were bracing ourselves u and putting on our furs, the fickle Clerk of the Weather changed his humour, and down came the rat*. Now it is surprisingly mild for December, but perhaps before I have finish^A this article it will be frost and snow again. A PEET INTO THE PICTURE EXHIBITIONS. I spent a very pleasant afternoon laat week at some of the new picture exhibitions. Very ill- viting the warm, cheerful rooms looked with their brilliantly decorated walls as one turned out or the misty and mud-covered streets. There were not many visitors, for the early days of the winter exhibitions do not call forth such crowds as assemble in tha spring and summer. But there can hardly be a more agreeable place for an after- noon outing in dull weather than a good picture gallery. You may survey the beauties of Neapo- litan skies, and draw unfavourable comparisons with our own foggy climate, or you may linger over the charms of an English summer meadow or shady lane, and please yourself by remembering that such things are possible even in "the land of mist and snow." I saw some delightful land- scapes and sea pieces which well maintain the standard of English art. I was especially pleased with tho Institute of Painte"S in Oil Colours, which a friond of mine, who is an habitue of picture exhibitions, told me he preferred to the Academy. Perhaps the reason for thi3 preference may he found in the compactness of tha exhibition. In the Academy there is such a large display that, necessarily, the works are unequal, and one grows tired before one has gone through the long suite of rooms. At the Institute, on the other hand, there are hut three rooms, so that th" eye does not got wearied before the end is reached. There are, of course, many ambitious works, but I was particularly struck by the children and animals, which are really delightfuL The little boy showing his picture book to his dog, D, for Dog," is capital; so, too, is the little girl nursing her kitten and warning off the dog with the inti- mation that Two's company, three's nothing." Then there are tha mischievous couple twitching off grandfather's spectacles as he sits asleep, and the dog vainly trying to catch two fighting cats. There is a very powerful painting, called The End of the Chase." A man and his horso are fall- ing back from th9 very edge of a precipice while you see in the background the pursuer whose lifted pistol has brought the life-and-death chase to an end. In the Water Colour Gallery there is another dramatic picture of a horse attacked by lions, which is very vivid. I should have mentioned in speaking of the oil paintings a scene from Peveril of the Peak," in which Peveril bending over Alice Bri(genorth, is surprised by the advent of the stern Puritan father. The Burling- ton Fine Art Club i3 scarcely to be ranked among the public exhibitions, as it is more of a private display. The most interesting feature is the collection of mezzotint engravings by M'Ardell, who about a century ago transferred into mezzo- tint the masterpieces of Hogarth and Reynolds. The picture which attracts most gazers in the Suffolk-street Gallery is, of course, the president s unfinished portrait of Lady Colin Campbell. She is represented in evening dress, with her train over her arm. It is an effective picture of a handsoma woman, but of tho circumstances which lend it so exceptional an interest I prefer not to speak. AFTERNOON TEA. What a universal institution has afternoon tea become 1 Here at tha principal exhibitions the tea- room opens its inviting doors for visitors to step in and have a pleasant chat and refreshing cup after their tour of the rooms. It is an agreeable change from the old days, in which it was so diffi- cult and costly for ladies to obtain any refresh- ment when out for the afternoon. A TERY FRW WORDS O THE CATTLE SHOW. This week the Cattle Show is attracting our country friends to the Metropolis, and everybody, of course, must go up to Islington to look at the prize boasts, though I apprehend that few of my lady readers know very much about the matter. I shall not, therefore, enlarge upon their merits or demerits, but merely say that Londoners are glad to see their country cousins coming up, and the shops are putting on their most attractive features for their reception. BIRD TRIMMINGS. I am sorry to by the faccounts from Paris that the rage for bird trimmings has by no means diminished. The beautiful little humming bird will soon become extinct if it continues to be slaughtered with such reckless prodigality to satisfy the caprica of the modiste. I have beea told of a ball dress adorned with a cluster of humming thirds on the shoulder and on the bosom, and humming birds were worn in the head dress. This is reckless destruction, and I heartily wish that the tide of fashion may set in another direction in time to save the humming birds. There is tha lass excuse for destroying the little creatures now that chenilU birds are made so prettily in such varieties of colour. Ont can employ them for trimmings without any qualms of conscience and without, sacrificing good effect. FURS AND FEATHER TRIMMING. A new kind of feather trimming is just coming in, but as yet has not become general. Furs are much worn. In Paris they are patronising fur bonnets, hats, and capotes, but I think those must be too warm to be good for the head, and certainly would not. do to wear in change with a lighter headgear, unless one wanted to invite rheumatism neuralgia, or ear-ache. I have seen a pattern of a fur collarette. It is made like a fur cape, with very long ends in front. The long fur boa, which had so completely gone out" of late yoars, is now very general. It is a graceful addition to the toilette, especially if the wearer be talL PLUSH FOR TRIMMING DRESSES. Plush is still extensively worn for dresses and trimmings. It is not always successful as panels, 1 but as waialcoats or. better still, as collar and 1 cuffs or for the V trimming of a bodice it is very effective; so is velveteen, which is much liked for tea gowns and dresses for demi-toiiette. Plush is in great request for fancy articles. HOW TO MAZE A MAN-DSOM3 RETICULE. Plush purses and plush-reticules adorn the shop windows, but ingenious fingers can very well make the latter at home. The bag should be made in two pieces, finiebed off with a good cord. It is much better macl, in this way than in the old fashion of one single piece. Eyelet holes of a good size must be made at the top, large enough to admit a handsome cord, which is finished off with a pair of tassels. You can put a bow of ribbou on the side if you like, for bows are now almost universal. REVIVAL OF AN OLD FASHION. Bows have been worn on the shoes for a long time past. They are now finding their way to the head, and our grandmammas may look with interest on the revival cf a fashion which was popular in their time. You may see in the old portraits of l-idies a generation or two back ribbon bows fas'enel ou to the hair. Osprey or ostrich leathers are sometimes combined wilb them, as now worn. CHRISTMAS RECIPES. As Christmas is now so near at hand, my readers will probably like to have one or two Christmas recipes. Tha careful housewife has already begun stocking her larder, and is on hospitable thoughts intent. In the first place, as the roast btef of old England is certain to fill a prominent place in the iwriu, let me su^^ist a tasteful addition in tha shape of HORSERADISH SAUCE.—Four tablespoonfuls of grated horseradish, one teaspoonful each of pounded sugar and salt, half a teasnoonful of pepper, two teaspoonfuls of made mustard and vinegar mix the horseradish with the sugar, salt, pepper, and mustard, and moisten with sufficient vinegar to give it the consistency of cream. To heat it place it in a jar. which put in a saucepan of boiling water. Do not allow it to boil. CHISWICK PIDDINr.rti-e six ounces of crushed white sugar and dissolve it in one pint of milk; put this into a well-tinned saucepan,and place it over & slow, bright fire or stove. Then add a quarter of a pound of fresh butter. Keep it tlr the fire, with constant stirring, until it shows n,) signs of clinging to the saucepan. Now remove it from the fire, and well work in four cgjs and two teaspoonfuls of esttneeof vanilla. Butter a mould and put into it tha above inllredients. Set the monld in a. sauce- pan of boiling water over the stove for one hour. Now dip the mould into cold water for one miucte, and turn out tLe pidding. Then cover is all or or wiu. blanched almonds.

THE WEEK'S ATHLETICS." By Touchstone. South Wales and athletic circles generally have not yet ceased to discuss the victory of the Swansea Club over the Cardiff formation. The result came as a staggerer all round, both at home and abroad, and its effects will not be forgotten for some time. Yet, amidst alt the rant that is going about, one fact is very apparent, that the better team won. This fact is admitted by Cardiff's most ardent supporters, and the wearers of the all white are well justified in complimenting them- selves. Their tour now, which commences this day (Saturday), will b9 watched with much greater keenness. Swinton is their first opponent, a doughty one indeed, and it will require a similar exertion Jas that which proved disastrous to the Principality "club to pull off a win. The lion's tail" has wagged very success- fully this year, and the confidence of their sup- porters is such that one of them, I heard, who lately visited Cardiff, offered odds against the all but" team when that encounter came off. Such confidence, ready to be substantially backed, is a feather which should not be lightly gazed at, and the Swansea men will need their best taleat and energies to overcome the Swinton team, s* In the face, however, of such a show as that made by them against Cardiff last Saturday, and in view of the other exhibitions against Llanelly, Newport, Gloucester, &c., it is hard to imagine a defeat, and I, for one, shall support the Swansea men, leaving their other matches on tour against the Broughton Rangers, Dewsbury, and Manningham till after the result of that is known. The fact that tha three latter encounters are contested day after day will have much to do with the result, and the pity is that the boys could not have taken a leaf out of the Cardiff book and arranged a day's interval between. From the Dewsbury representatives I apprehend the most danger, but if that club is victoriously encountered Manningham should meet with a similar fate. The matches which will ltake place in 'South Wales on Saturday are the following ABERDARS.—Aberdaro Crusaders v. Penygraig. CARDIFF.—Cardiff v. Llanelly. „ Cardiff A" Team v. Cardiff United (Sf^-ond). „ Penarth (Se-ond) v. St. Andrew's. Cardiff Crusaders v. Pontypridd, » Cardiff Crusaders (Second) v. Albion 1 Nevrport>, Second. Cardiff Harlequius v. University College. Charles-street Hangers v. Hearts of Oak. Roatti Rangers (Second) v. Whitchurch (second). „ Roatli v. Ely Rovers. „ Canton Crusaders (Second) r. Graugetown (fleeond). '• Longcros. r. Grangetown. LLANELLY.—L:aneily (Second) v. Cardiff (Second). NBATH. —Neath v. Newport. NKWPORT.—Newport (Second) v. Cardiff United. Newport Junr. C. G. v. OakJields, „ Canton Crusaders v. Hearts of Oak. PEXARTH.—Penarth r. Llandaff. PoirrYPRiPD.—Pontypridd (Second) v. Cardiff Harlequins (Second). SWIWT05.—Swansea v. Swinton. TAFFS IVELL.-St. Mary's v. TafTs Well. WHITCHURCH.—Whitchurch t1 Koath Rangers. «- With the Swansea team away the only matches of any general importance will be those between Cardiff and Llanelly and Newport against Neath. Of these it is not difficult to forecast the result, though the uncertainty of the winter pastime is equalling that of its summer rival. The Swansea reverse will doubtless act a3 a stimulant to the Cardiff team, and, though a well-contested game will be played, they should not have much diffi- culty in overcoming the tin-piate organisation. Newport will perform a similar operation on the Neath Club. The Cardiff First Team met in solemn conclave on Monday, and deep and profound were the remarks made on that occasion. It is said (though I cannot v^uch for its authenticity) that a certain prominent member of the committee, who was recently reckoned amongst the fossils, and is known as The Veteran in football circles, was asked to again don the war-paint and take his place, as of old, in the midst of those whom he has led to victory. Another rumour asserts thit the com- mittee freely sanctioned, and in some cases authorised, members to decorate each other's physog's by free exercise of the "noble art. It is mentioned with bated breath that the exercise was forthwith commenced on the body of that forward" gentleman who so freely expressed his views on the game indnlod in by the Cardiff pack. This rumour, however, is not sunported by those present, but it is stated that condol ition was not the order of the day, and that lectures and admonitions of a straightforward character were given, the sad gathering ultimately dispersing to drown their sorrows in tbe flowing bowl. In a note dealing with the Cardiff District Chal- lenge Cup last Monday I stated that the Cardiff Harlequins were victoriously contested by Maindee, Mon. I find that I was misinformed. The Harlequins have not yet met Maindee, the ground of that club when the Harlequins went to fulfil their engagement being totally unfit for a contest. The youth who came from Swansea without a redundancy of raiment has not been seen in his popular haunts this week. The "smoker" of the Cardiff Harlequins on Wednesday proved, as could not otherwise have been the case, an unqualified success. Amidst the dense atmosphere of smoke which "quickly tilled the club-room joviality and its kindred spirits soon made tbatr presence known, and quickly ruled the roost. The singers, if they did not quite pipe a la Sims Reeves or d la Charles Godfrey were? not the less appreciated by the convivial gathering present. On Tuesday week, December 21, the first dance this season of the Harlequins will also be hold. As the proceeds of this popular undertaking are to be devoted to the funds of the new club ground, I trust that the affair will be a thorough success, but, judging from the hearty oupport accorded to their last season's dances, the hope is perhaps un- necessary. On dit that the club ground is submerged. This cannot be so, as tbe H;t;l(-quins say that the ground is so naturally well drained that water runs off it like it does from a duck's back. Cnarlie Howells, of the Bridgend Football Club, who was recently injured in the football field, I hear is progressing as well as can be expected; likewise the subscription list on his behalf.

YANKEE I U N. Someone says that a man who has been struck by lightning cannot swim. H? doesn't want to swim. What he needs, in n:ne cases out of te, after bLing- struck by lightning, is a cheap and unostentatious funeral. Jlind-reading is now the nroDer caper. "Thke hold of my left hand and tell me what I'm thinking of," said the head of the family to his confiding spouse. "Oh, yes," said she, grasping his hand convulsively, you are thinking about taking we to bear Patti." She had to guess again. Ma," said Polly Caution, the Liberty Statue is that of a woman, itnt, it" "Ye", de*r. "Won't she be awful lonely out on tint island without a man to look after ? It is said that the human race is destined to be bald and toothless. This need not alarm the people seriously. A great many hav;, been born that way, and the race is none the worse for iL. Judge-Are you aware of anv mitigating circum- stances in your case? Crirr.inai—Yes, your Honour, this is the fiftieth time I have been arrested for vagrancy, and I thought that perhaps we might get up a little jubilee. Have you licence in Pennsylvania ?" asked a Buffalo young lady, deeply interested in tem- perance work, of a Pittsburg visitor. Licence replied the latter, I should think we had. Why, you can't even get married without one." In Bavaria the mayor of a little village was ordered by the higher authorities to make out a list of the dogs kept by the/ inhabitants. Ho did so, and the list read as f,)"cw, The sehool-teactier—a dog. The pastor—a dog. The doctor—a dog. Mys(lf-a dog. All of us together-four dogs. FISHING. A hook, a book, a j lad" n 00k: A wish, a fish, a sudden swish— A sigh; but why ? Next day a lie. "I wonder what tDakes these buttons burst off so ?" Dora petulantly exclaimed. David looked at her tight dress. Force of habit, I think," he said, softly. The cat on the fence was airing its lungs, When I sent the bootjack flyin' high; I threw it hard, it went where I aimed, And it sent that noisy feline high. "Who are the benefactors of the human race?" thundered the lecturer, as he brought his hand down upon the desk with a thump that made a waterspnut rise out of the pitcher who are the benefactors of the human race, I ask ?" I guess I'm one of 'em," said a little squint- eyed man, rising in a back seat. The lecturer was rather taken aback, but after a pause he managed to inquire: "And what have you d,)ne-built a railroad? No, sir, I've invented a bea-bug poison." The lecturer smiled a sickly smile, and the audience roared with laughter. A TWILIGHT FANTASY. A woman stood .t a garLlrn gate (Siiig My lor the distant spreading Mil!) Sing hey for the dog tua hurried by Wh,h a kettle tied to his tail. My good mau skurried adown the road. (Sing hey for the joyous drinJnng bout!) And after the ochre cur he sped With many a gruesome shout. Now, why this haste, good neighbour ?" she cried; II Why afier the do ot th" umber tint?" But. waking the echoes with a yell, he sped Through t.he twilight's gleam and glint. A smug-faced lad looked over the fence (8ing hey, where the birdhngs sing and chirp !) Why laughest, good mother ?** I taugh," sa.id ebe, To see yon ecru purp." A smile then an. iled the smug-faced lad, I (Sing tadc-a-day for lhe sunset red !) It Then laugh no more, good gossip, because The kettle is yourn," he said. [The poetry after Browning; the man after the dog; the woman after the boy.] WHAT SHE HAD TOWARDS an OUTFIT. He: "Tuen, if you are willing, we will be married at once, and as I have a little money saved up, we will, no doubt, get along very well. But we will not live in the close, crowded city. I will pur- chase a little farm, and wo will live on it, and be as happy as turtle doves." She: Live on a farm! And I willi be a I farmer's wife ?" He: Yes, darling." farmer's wife ?" He: Yes, darling." She: "How delightful! And what do you think, John you won't have to buy a milking stool for me, for I've got one alrrady." He (in surprise; "You have?" She (ali animation): Oh, veA, thp prettiest you ever saw, decorated with handsome plush and cherry ribbons." IXSOCENCE IMPOSED UPON. A traveller in Western Iowa, noticing on the wall of the parlour of the hotel the legend Ici on padt Francaise, said to the proprietor: Do you speak French ?" Frt-ncb ? No. United States is good 'nou,-h for me." Then why do you keep that legend on the wall ? That means French is spoken here. Is that so?" "Certainty." Well, I'm a half-breed from up the Missoury if a feller with a wart on his nose didn't sell me that for a Latin motto, I Goil bless our home. "ALLUS A, MOVIN' A femnle-suffrage canvasser came with a peti- tion one day to an old farmer, and, politely asked him if he would sign it. He eyed the document suspiciously for a while, and then asked: What is it? A petition in favour of the woman's move- ment," she responded in her most insinuating tone of voice. Then I'm agin it! said the agriculturist with the emphasis of a man who had some domestic infelicity. A woman who's alius a-movin' is alius a-gettin' into trouble. If you've got any- thing to keep her still, HI sign it." AS GOOD AS ANT WAY. People in Mitchell County, Ind.. don't fool away any time in useless courtships. The other day an Indianapolis man went down to a small town in that county to see about some laud. As he was waiting at the hotel for a bug^'V to be brought round, a buxom-looking woman rode up on horse- back with a grist of wheat behind her. She looked the stranger all over, slid out of the saddle, and brushed the creases out ot her calico dress and then walked up to him and asked: Widower or married ? Widower, ma'am." Onlv forty-five Y" "Only forty." Worth anything to speak of?" About fifteen thousand dollars." Good What d'ye think of me ?" You'll pass." I'm thirty-eight, healthy as a bear. worth twelve thousand dollars, and want a husband.: My man pegged out tie years ago. Refer you to the postmaster as to my character. What d'ye say ?" It's purty sudden, ma'am." Well, yes. Can you give me an answer in two hours ?" i win." Very well. Don't miss a good thing because you're bashful. He was back in two hours, and she soon rode up from the mill, and queried Well ?" I'll marry you," he replied. Good Preacher right across the way." They walked over and were married, and are now doing the country on a bridal-tour. THOUGHT HE WANTED A DRINX. A good story is told of a venerable American judge. The other day, while folding the circuit court, he grew weary of the endless tongues of j attorneys, and, calling a bailiff, said huskily, "Go over to the Hole in the Wall" and bring me a drink of whisky." The bainff disappeared, and returned shortly with an inch and a half of corn-juice in a glass, enough for any Christian man, but not sufficient for an Alabama judiciary system. "Go back," growled the judge, and tell Hagerty to send me a drink-a drink of whisky." The bailiff dis- appeared again, and returned a second time with a tumbler brimming full. "Ah." said the wearer of ermine. That is a drink But whitt "-wiping his lips—" did he say ?" Oh, he didn't say any- thing, your hononr replied the bailiff, blushing. Oh, yes, he must have made some remark! Now what did he say ?" Well, I don't like to tell you, your honour." "(ioon-tell me exactly what, he said!" commanded the judge. "Well, your I honour," drawled out the bailiff, "he said, I I sent him a drink of whisky at first. I didn't know the old fool wanted a bath!'

« WEEKLY MATL" OFFICE. THURSDAY. DEC. 9, 1886. SOUTH WALES CHESS CLUBS V, BRISTOL AND CLIFTON CHESS ASSOCIATION This long-taoked-for contest camt; off last Satur- day afternocan a: the Imperial Hotei, Clifton, and we regret we cannot congratulate our South Wales friends elt/ier on a glorious victory or on a glorious fight. Fcom the beginning of the piay to the very em:' it was evident to all that the visitors were completely over-matched and when we say that OLlt of the 49 games played on!y f,)ur were won e.nd nine drawn by them, to 36 won and nine draw/n by their opponents, it Is obvious that, altlvough chess of a kind is fiouricning in this part of the Principality, it will be some considerable time before a tean2 can be selected to do credii to South Wales and justice to a strong array oi talent like that produceu last, Saturday by the Bristol and Caftou Cuess Association. We append the full score, together with a game piayed in the match :—

BRISTOL A-N-D CU_FTUX Catss ASSOCIATION. ■ 'Z P Board. Plarer. c £ s- x c -No. 1-MrX.FeddenICr.nta;n). 1 I No. 2-Mr L. J. Williams, Cilam- jjion Cup h'liddi- 1 — 1 ij No. 3—Hev G. R. !>Tones 2 — — 2 No. 4-M:- W, H, Harsa¡." L No. 5—Mr J, Ban 1 — 1 :So, 6—M"r J. Templar 11 -> -No. 7—Air W. U. Frank & — — Z Xü. 8—Mr O \iu:it — — 2 1 j No. 9—Mr h T. Perry 1 — 1 1 1 1 — i No. 12—Mr C. P.o >rne 2 — — 2 No. 13—ii: K. G. Leonard. 2 — — 2 No. T, Merrick 2: — — 2 No. 15—itr J'Kickm.in 1 1 — 1 No. 16-Mr U. Har.iing 1—1 1| No. 17—Mr T. G. Wrignt- 2 — — 2 No. 18—Mr K. J. Taylor 1 — 1 It ,No. 1 — 1 14 No. 2C—Dr J Pi n ciiftid 2 — — F. Bui 2 — — 2 aux 2 — — 2 No. -3—Mr A. L. Stephenson 2 — — 2 >24—Mr TV. T'ranklin 2 — — C Ko. 25-Mr \V. lribö 2 — — 2 36 4 9 4Cf SOUTH WJLII. :0. 1—Mr G. W. Lennox. Oardli: 1 0 Xo. 2—Mr J. Bush, Caraiff J.ipt.) — No. 3—llev C. 1. Salisbury, Newpt. — 2 — Ú yo. «—Sir A. Hobbs, Newport — 2 — 0 No. 5—Mr J. C. Woods, Swansea — 1 1 f o, 6— Mr W. F. iucL<iras, au 1 1 1;- Xu, V- Mr J. Price, Swansea 2: 0 Xc, Dr)i L. — 2 1 J, fci —N31 G. Cciborne, Newport — 1 1 t I No. 10—Mr \V. Pet-hybriage, Cardiff 1 1 — 1 'o, li CarLtift 1 1 — 1 2 — 0 SJ. 13-ML C. Kirby. Newport, — 2 — 0 No. 14—Mr F. Gardiner, ]S^wnort. — 2 — 0 No. 15-Mr W. Josr., Newport 1 1 — 1 No. 16—Mr J. Gail, Newport I I JNo. 17— Mr E. Poi.Si.rr, C-.rdiff — 2 Ú No. io—Mr W. H. L-wis, Kewport. — 1 1 f -N,). It Vt'eigilis, 1 1. 5 No, 2.>-Mr E G, VfUliarus, Cardiff. — 2 — 0 No. 21—Mr W, WooUcock, Newport. 2 — 0 No. Ti—Mr G H. Green, Aoeriare 2 0 No. 23—L>r Parry, Ferndaie 2 — 0 No. 24—iii W. i>. Wight, AUeid.-re. — 2 — 0 No. 2d—Ml H. Evans, Cardiff — 2 — 0 4 36 9 8t The scores of the representative towns were af under Won. L'st. Drawn. Totl Newport 11 players 1 15 6 4 CardiR 8 2 12 1 2^ Swansea 3 „ 1 3 2 2 Aberdare 2 11 4 CI Ferndaie 1 „ — 2 0 At the conclusion of the match the visitors were hospitably entertained to a high tea" by the members of the Bristol attd Clifton Ctiess Associa- tion, after which complimentary votes of thanks were given on behalf of the South Wales team bj the Kev. R. Gibbings, Mr. C. Cedervali, and Mr. J. Bush.

SICILIAN DEFENCE. White. Black. GEO. W. LENNOX N. FSDDEN (Cardiff). (Clifton). 1 P to K 4 P to Q B 4 2 Kt to K B 3 V to K 3 3 Kv to B 3 Ki to Q B 3 4 P to Q 4 P takes P 5 Kt takes P P to Q R 3 6 Kt to B 3 B to Kt 5 7 B to Q 2 Kt to B 3 8 B to Q 3 P to Q 4 9 P takes P Kt takes P 10 Kt to K 4 («) Kt to R 5 11 1? takes B Kt takes Q B 12 Kt to K 5 P to B 3 (b) 13 P to K Kt 3 P take,, Kt 14 r takes Kt P takes P (c) 15 Q to R 5 ch P to Kt 3 16 Q to K 5 (d)

BLACK,

WHITE. 16 Kt takes B ch 17 P takes Kt Castles (e) 18 QR TO sq R to 15 4 19 U to B 3 P to Kt 3 20 to B 6 B to Q 2 f) 21 to B 7 B to Kt 4 22 Kt to Q 6 (g) Q t-lkf., 23 R takes Q R to Q 4 24 Kt to B 4 th) K takes P 25 Kt takes P W R to Q sq 26 Castles >i) K R to Q 3 (j) 27 Kt to B 4 R K. Q 5 28 K to Q H sq P t o B 6 29 Kt to K 3 (k) R to Q 7 30 « R to B 2 P t" Kt 4 31 P to K R 3 Kt., K:2 :,2 K to R 2 P to K R 4 33 R take, R R takes R 31 R to B 2 R takns R 35 Kt takt: R P to K 4 36 K to Kt 3 P to K 5 37 P to K R 5 K to B 3 38 P takes P ch K takes p 39 Kt to K 3 P R Ch 40 K to R 3 B to Q c cii 41 K to R 2 t,, K 42 1' to R 3 K to li 5 43 Kt to B 2 K to K 4 +4 Kt. to Kt 4 K in (i 5 45 Kr to B 2 (I) K to Q 6 46 Kt to K 3 K to K 7 47 K to K t q P E 6 48 Kt to B sq K to X 8 49 Ki to K 3 F to R 7 ch 50 K takes P K takes P 51 Kt to B 2 P to K 6, and wins.

NOTES. (a) A miscalculation, which loses a P. White overlooked the fact that the Black Kt could, in repiv, be played to H 5 with safety. 12 Q tc Q 4 seems much stronger. (c) We think that Black should now have Castled. (dl Whv not 16-Q to Q ^See diagram.) The continuation would probably then have been IS- ^Kt takes B ,11 17-P takes Kt. Q to K 2 (best 1; 18—R to Q B sq. Q t:ike.= Q; 19—R takes Q. Castles, und White is still the P behind, but his pieces have more freedom than Bilrtckls. (t) This move relieve* Black s gamo con- siderably. (f) II 20 Q takes P 21-Q to K 8 ch, and Black would have a raug-h time of it. (!I' A good n. 've. iI,) 24-Kt takes 1: would have been unwise, because of Black re-taking with the P. (1) We believe Black thought there was no reply to his Inst move, but, of course, White relied upon Cast hna (1) Much stronger would have been 26 K R to Q 5 or Q 7. tk) Better than 29-P to K R 3. (I If 45—Kt takes P, Black wins with 45 to K 6. _——————

fit iHrmgrtam: DEAD ON THE WESTERN MAIL, BUT BORN AGAIN INTO A NEW AND LONG LIFE OX TH: WEEKLY MAIL Farewell to thee, Pendragon Thy loss all heart? bt waif; AU mis; thy 4 ripy, ilv "Joitirgs" In the good old Western Mail. Like the sparkic of a diamond TtJat set in purest gold, The glim,tlel. ot thY" Jottings Cheered the hearts of young and old, co Bett-ng down naught in malice," Impartial, without fear A ehumpion t-v r ready Our troubled way to clear. Then An revoir," Pendragon We wish t.;ee all success. As step by step UnWrt mounting The Ladder of the Press. ROBKKTA »8 KT. CUm. t. SwUtrtMt,