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--IN LIGHTER VEIN.1 -0-

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IN LIGHTER VEIN. -0- (CONCOCTED CHIEFLY BY "ATHA." The joke of 1902—Cardiff anthracite. This side, that is. "Bill" is generally the ba.d boy of a family we are told. The Education Bill certainly creates ample noise just. now. Let the "p;]] Mall Gazette" beware. In its rdenncc to Carnegie's offer to Ponwnlubis. it spells tliv iKme as "Pont-ardfefells. A -Swansea father savs that his son and heir st.ow, every indication of becoming a. captain of industry Minie day. He gets the other bi ys to do all bin w^rk for him. On the way to Stradey.-Anxious enthusi- ast. gazing at the sicy Ow was the glass this liiol.jlllll "I "Dunno," replied his absent- minded mate, 'twas a pint I ad Bishop Hedley alludes to this country as a "poor, miserable, heretical'' one. Perhaps he is not awav that there is a Free Church Council at Swansea. Perhaps he is, though. He v as speaking of the lion on ihe Gower Cua.st. "I vi-onder," he sa.id, "where J came f-oin." "Perhaps." fiaid cone of his friends. with a. fenile grin, "it drifted there from the Cult of Lyons." I The surface contact system which is being so extensively ai.* cussed in Swansea tramway circles of late is nothing new. It is a Sunday night institution Mumbles-road way, where it is called osculation Numerous nasty names has the Educa- tion Bill been called, but a speaker at the public "protest" at Gowerton was surely going too far when he spoke of the "in- equishus" nature of the Regret and incnvenience over the American strike is rife in Canada. There cannot be half as much regret ,tS there will be when some of the cargoes of Welsh "anthracite get over there. "\YIi"n I hear of Dr. ———— denouncing stage plays," said the man in the plaid mac- kintosh, "it reminds me of a. spinster lady giv- ing advice to mothers 011 fche rearing of larg-c families." An liiracornbe fisherman has caught a. con- ger which turns the scale at 165 lbs. Some difficulty," says the report, "was experienced in landing the fish." Yes-and the story, probably A race of giants formerly worshipped in Mount Pleasant Chapel.—That's the only con- clusion we can come to after meditating upon an extra row of hat pegs which quite surround the gallery at a, h, ight. of about 10 feet from the floor. Two amateur operatic societies are to be m full swing in Swansea this (season. There are also two new local theatres on the verge of opening. And to think that only one thou- sand years ago all was quiet! Sir George Newnes' declaration oi refusal to pay rates it the Education Bill was made law was received with enthusiastic cheers by his hearei-s. It's so easy to applaud heroic deeds when one has not to do them oneself The Llanellv trams are an abiding joy to the Swansea tripper. One of the latter on Saturday made an offer to a conductor to buy N the lot. He wanted the tram-car, he said, 10 take home for the kiddies to play with. He would give him the horso back. ■Several French aeronauts nave come to an untimely end by attempts to solve the pro- blem of flight. A man in the Hafod who tried A moonlight sonata sort of a fumhi.ie. re- moval the other night, found that he was in gcod company. He failed also. The latest py of life has been unearthed. "Chocolate chumps" are made largely of paraffin wax.' There are many "chumps" we could indicate who are made largely of wax also. They got a. trifle "waxy." too, on Tues- day night- at Swansea.(This from an es- teemed but violent contributor). The suggestion 's off< red tree of chaige and unburdened oi any royal'y stipulations and so forth that a f.w compartments-full of worn and weary tipplers, taken about ntiù- night, past the burning tips, and the furnacos in the background might send up the demand for teetotal pledges. The Cardiff people know a. good thing when they see it! A tradesman, twenty yards from, the Park Hall (where the Musical Festi- val was running) expressed his surprise in the bearing of a Swansea pressman. last Thursday, at the existence of such an event. So rapid., these Cardiffians-. "Everything's busy here," said the pleasant visitor, as he glanced around the office where our literary staff languishes, "and everyone looks cheerful but er—who's that fellow in the corner with that expression of silent agony' ■Him./ Oh, lies in the middle of a humorous poem, that s all; lie's quite an expert at t:ljl- -And III", viHitor passed on. A well-known local total abstinence advo- eat-e complained of being out-oi-sorts, the other dav. and when one of Ins friends asked what ailed him, his reply was:i don-t know, unless it is a. fit "f th8 This I is gentleman is evidently a resident, within the borough, as "blues" are prohibited m the county districts for many months pat. Football maketli the brain quaint and fall of conceits. He was a Llanellyniaii- and he had wandered as far as St" Helens to see a Swansea reserve team instructing the young idea how to break records and things. He was veiy anxious to learn the final score at Stradey. He found out; and a. truthful mall who had seen bnn wearing a. brilliant scarlet tie. saw him in Temple-street later wearing a. construction of hideous blacks. October 13th, 1902! Comment- is need- Jess. Of all the places where it rains. There's none like Swansea Valley The rain is damp and wetter far Than moisture gener-ally. Al, hickless wight on business bent. Y\ ho down tlie street would sally, "ls mackintosh avails him not— H rains iu Swansea. Valley! ^I!? Noah launched his famous- ark, „ YVr ^Yeiy animal, lie t aid Wales ;• pretty compliment-. I he spot MaS Swansea Valley! And when the deluge ceased, I swear, (•'lis not for me to lallv) Kilvey wit" called Moullt Ararat. It RAINS in Swansea Valley! ea V, It ranis, it poms, it. streams, it teems. At. once—not gradu-ally And round one's hat the raindrops dance Like fairies III a ballet. Alas; oh. why are v, e condemned With such a fate to dally? nut. wait!—pcihaps 'twill one day snow, Who knows'? "l is Swansea Valley ATTICVS.

[No title]

COUNTY SESSIONS AT SWANSEA.

---------i COAL WAR ENDS.…

AUTUMN SESSION.

JUDGE BISHOP.

--_---Interesting" Wedding-…

SWANSEA COUNTY COUNCIL.

---ITRAMWAYS COMMITTEE .MEETING.

CHIEF CONSTABLE OF LLANDILO.…

"A MESSAGE FROM MARS." !

HOW IS IT?!

SWANSEA JOTTINGS. : j

[No title]

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---------NEATH NOTES AND NEWS.

Mr. Harry H unkin.

Mr. J. R. Jones.

Mr. Ben. Griffiths.

Mr. Hopkin Jones.

jMr. Jestyn Jeffreys. j

_Hopkin Morgan.

Items of Interest. I

DR. RAWLINGS AND THE MUMBLES…

NEATH ELECTION.

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