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WAR IN SOUTH AFRICA.

THE TRADE OF THE PORT AND…

"F. C. G."

GENERAL TROTTER'S ADVICE TO…

SLEEP.

i IRONYT

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She—"And to think you have forgotten that this the anniversary of our wedding day." He—"Why, you must be mistaken. We were married on the :2th." She—"Oh I I beg pardon. I was thinking of my first marriage." "I should hate to have to preach Uui Hunks's funeral sermon. What ccuid any- body say in his praise 2" "Well, it can be said of him that when he told a funny story he never repeated the point five or six times to be sure he got it." "Did your wife scold you when you came home late last night ?" "You don't know what it is to have a wife who was once a school teacher. She simply made me right a hundred lines on a slate—must be home by ten o'clock.' "It's always a relief to me when it becomes time to pay Bridget her wages," said Mrs. Howeskeep. "Why is it a relief to you ?" inquired her husband. Bccause that is the only time when I feel positive that she doesn't employ me." Mrs. Neighbors I advertised for a plain cook last week, but didn't receive a single reply." Mrs. Nextdoor Take my advice and advertise for a good-looking kitchen lady, and you'll be overrun with applica- tions for the position." Manufacturer: "Have you succeeded m perfectly imitating Best end Company's goods ?" Manager All of them, sir. Manufacturer Very well. Get up a cir- cular warning the public against vile imita- tions, and put 'em on the market," Father Why did you let him kiss you?" Daughter t, W ell, he was so nico he asked me-" Father But haven't I told you you must learn to say No' ?" Daughter TTiat's what I did say. He asked me if I'd be very angry if he kissed me." The near-sighted conductor has just re- marked to the lady that if the child beside her occupies a seat it must pay full fare. 'Hie Ladv What do you mean, you loafer ? That's my husband

NOTES BY WATCHMAN.

ITHE LATE "FREE CHURCHMAN,"

THE TAFF VALE RAILWAY. j

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