Welsh Newspapers

Search 15 million Welsh newspaper articles

Hide Articles List

7 articles on this Page

------------Jtacts aub andes.…

News
Cite
Share

Jtacts aub andes. Inspiration never rains—it simply pores. .^lost men in jail are there on account of their con- actions. Those tired of truly rural as a cure for siammc-r- might pronounce rapidly, "She sells sea shells; '"all she sell sea shells ?" A Sunday school teacher told his infants to ask any Questions they had in their minds, and a lilue one asked, "When is the circus coming?" Is anybody waiting on you a polite sales- ?*an to a girl from the country. "Yes, sir," said the "Ashing damsel, "that's my feller outside. He Wouldn't come in." It is all well enough to say that thirteen is an un- number, but America started in business with •hirteen States, and seemed to be holding her own to "e time of goiDg to press. ^liss Clara—" You s.ly, Ethel, that you paid ten Ce&ts for having your gloves cleaned? Why, I was ^sked fifteen." Miss Ethel (with a slight hut not ,angerous cough)—" Yes I suppose the size is con- sidered." An American stateman got off at Falls View L.o look at Niagara. After examining it critically for a Olnent, he turned to a bystander and remarked. Huge affair, ain't it and I suppose it runs all nsgnt too j He Got Even. — "I was married four years ago to- ^y." "Is that so? In Leap Year, eh ?" "Yes; by the way my wife proposed marriage to me." » Had the advantage of you ?" Yes, but, I got even; the first to apply for a divorce.' ..Husband (with carving knife and fork)—"Aren't ?le children ready for dinner?" Wife—"Yes, dear, ut as we have ducks for dinner, and the children have returned from Sunday school, 1 thought it bett-r they should remain upstairs until you gos through V'Ith the carving." Itispector (to school girl during exa -miiiatioii) ^Vhat is meant when it says He was amply re- *r(!d ?" Girl: "Paid for it." Inspector:" No don't know that. Suppose you were to go to the Taker's shop and buy a half-quarter loaf, and lay ^Ovvn fourpence would you say you had 'am^lv re- down fourpence would you say you had 'amply re- ^arded' the baker?" Girl:" Yes, sir." Inspector: .^rhy?" Girl: Because it's only 2:^1 Collapse Of iuspector. TOKKISH MARRIAGES.—In Turkey everybody marries and one might perhaps be permitted to add, "Qse who can afford it, marry often Such a thing as ji? old maid is absolutely unknown among the Turks. ey are a marrying race, and as a general thing the K'rla are married off by the time they reach their teen?, fjd often a year or two before. A Turk may possibly in love with his wife after marriage, but it would'nt very easy for his affections to ante-date this (erernony, for the first time he ever sets eyes on her is in the nuptial chamber, after the wedding guests ave retired. A MANLY APOLOGY.—" We wish," says a Colorado A MANLY APOLOGY.—" We wish," says a Colorado dltor, to retract our statement made last week that OUr esteemed fellow citizen, Hon Mr Plumley never I a8 known to keep his promise. After reading the ltlatli in question, Mr Plumley happened to remember tbat during the heat of the recent political contest he prOtnlsed to kick us out to the fair grounds, and he I ^ttiediately came up to the office and executed his Protnise. In fact. he not only kicked us all the way there, but he kept it up most of the way back, and jfjhe had not run out of breath we think he would have kicking us yet. Mr Plumley is a gentleman of word, cultured and polished, and can kick like an Viatic elephant. GARBLED HYMNS.—An ignorant man who was fond the violin, and who is said to have suggested that the eU-known lines Oh, mav mv heart in tune be found, Like David's harp of solemn sound, "ould have been better thus Oh, may my heart he tuned within Like David's sacred violin. ut the crushing reply was that a still greater improve- l1:Int would be Oh, may my heart go diddle-diddle Like David's sacred fiddle-fiddle. the original rendering was retained. DOT'S WISH. She never gets a scolding, She's never sent to bed, She hasn't got a napkin Put on her when she's fed She plays with me, yet no one Tells her Don't make a noise' I sometimes wish my dolly Was me, and I was toys." GOLD IN WHALES. BY SCBMARIXE CABLE. U Hum, oysters, hum No more be dumb, With rapture wag your tails Be not afeared, trim every beard, For gold is found in Whales. The blessed word we clearly heard, Flashed underneath the billows, And every mother, and son, and brother Of pearl rose on their pillows. While divers creep along the deep, The boldest bivalve quails Now calm may rest each jewell'd bfteast, For gold is found in Whales. "They took our pearls to give their girls, And made great sums at salee But young aud old think more of gold And gold is found in Whalea. The spouting lubber may keep his blubber, But still the monster pales I They'll tickle his ribs with dynamite squibs, Now gold is found in Whales. "Rest shelly head, on rocky bed, And grow unchecked each gem And anguished whales may wring their tales, For gold is found in them." But a finny creature, of sea-blurred- feature, Quells hope's too flattering tales you shut your shell, and learn te spell; There ain't no 'h in Wales." SANOHO PASZA

Advertising

JlríJm the Paptrz. ""'"

LONDON GOSSIP.

THE ODDFELLOWS' A.M.C. AT…

PROTEST BY WELSH NONCON FORMISTS…

Advertising