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¡;-Jarts ani) J.vncics !

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¡;- Jarts ani) J.vncics A Tight Fit.—D. T's. Adam and Eve had many adjutages, but the princi- pal ODe was that they escaped ..eething. Donor • You have HQ excess of adipose ti.^ue, madam." Patient Good gracious, doctor, do you sup- Dose that's what makes me so fat Before the Court.—Judge Are you guilty or not guilty f Prisoner That's what I'm here to hnd out, yeToonUGLY.-Sally—"Why dont you get married ? Suitt'kins (fishing). I am sü ugly that no one will have me." Sally.—"Why, wouldn't, somebody as ugly as you R°! n f orce n i e n t s Wanted.—Little Girl Oh^mama! Come nuick Mercy! What s the matter.' Little Girl: There's a mouse in the kitchen, and the poor eat's there all alone. ,< • • t Mother," sobbed the young bride, he is just as mean as he can be." No, he isn't dear, said the mother, -,oothingly. A man can't really develop all his meanness till he has been married four or five years. The quick and the Dead-Bob's Widow: "Do you dare to sit and tell me you consider yourself a better man than poor, dear Bob V Her Brother Of course I do, for fee's dead.' „ You are charged with having voted five times in one (hy," said the judge, sternly. I am charged, am I repeated the prisoner. "That's mighty odd. I expected to be paid for it." ,T Louise • "You are surely not going to mr»rry ~.ir Üraball ? Maud I am." Louise Why, tie s a, regular miser." Maud That s just the reason. I don'r want a man who spends all the money himself- 1 will attend to that part of the business." Papa, are generals brave men ?" asked Johnny of his father Yes, my son, as a rule," was the mswer. Then whv do artists always make pictures of em stand- ing on a hill three miles away, looking at the battle through an opera-glass ?" There is this troable about special providences, namely, there is often a doubt as to which party was intended to be beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satis- faction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children. This is how the driver of the prison van, known as the Black Maria," distinguished himself. A would-be wit on the causewav hailed him. Got any room inside, Robert ?" "There's room for one," replied the driver. We kep" it for vou." Not entirely disconcerted, the wit made another shot. "Whats your fare/he asked. The answer entirely extinguished him, Bread and water--same as you had before." There ain't no use in sighin' Over things that's done and gone When one cool breeze is dyin' Another one comes on. An"' all the world is beautiful, An' all the world is bright. There's a sun to shine in daytime An' a lot of stars at night.

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