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< UP AND DOWN THE COAST. j A SLIGHT MISTAKE. t } In one of the main thorou^hrr.rcs ol a i~.su town there is a dining room next door to a photographer s shop. One Monday twelve strapping Welshmen walked into the fjrmer place of basiness, and aked for dinner, which was promptly and plentifully supplied. The Sons of the Mountains ate like glints, and seemed to be brimming over with fan. At last they were satisfied, and one of them placed five shillings in the hands of the proprietor, who calmly asked which of the eleven he bad paid for in aidi- tion to himself. I was pay for the lot," exclaimed the man, there is the five silling (pointing to the money), and there is the charge for him (pointing to the photographer's sign outside, which was placed between the two shops, and announced on one side, Twelve for Five Shillings.')" "01:1 paid th" man at th dining "that meana photographs, and you thought it meant dinners: I see f Dinners, gentlemen, are 23 6J each, and I imi3t trouble you for a sovereign, gentlemen With difficulty the money was got and the twelve diners-out went sorrowfully away, feeling that they had been shamefully entreated. SOME BELLMEN. It would be more correct to call them Town Criera, for one of them has no btll, and cannot, there-fore, he called a beiiman without a slight deviation from accuracy. At the beginning I have sciid some Bellmen; but really I only iatend to write about one, though I may mention three of [he brotherhood b-fos e I have done. f Mira says I ought to tell what she always calls toe bell- man's story. Every profession has its romance, and the held of the nairative she is anxious I should relate. Whether the present bellman or his predecessor was the crier at the time is of little importance. I shall not tell the story this week, lest I should worry my fiends. Well a3 I h3ve said, one of tbe bellmen has no bell. Perhaps Tregaron is too poor to purchase a bell; or, as is m -e hkely, it is nobody'* business to buy him one. >\ e will suppose you are sitting in the Lion Hotel after dinner. Y ii re Jot peace with all the world, and wondering how soon the train would arrive as you blink between your fin- gers at the Are. It is fair day, and the streets are full of cattle and stalls and d-alers. The bridge is crowded with women knitting and selling stockings, and the only vacant LUce is the new Market Hall, which the people have not vet leamt to appreciate. I say yon are sitting over the fire quibtly and comfortably digesting a good dinner, wh«n suddenly you are startled sy a ho;riblesound between a. yea and a scream like this, as far as type will do it: Ah-aha- a-aha-oo-ohoo-yah! with terrible emphasis on the final yah You start in your chair, and as the sound continues you rush out. The disturbance is evidently somewhere near the bridge, and you dodge madly along the legs and tails of the cattle, in order to find out what has caused the agonized noise. Just at the entrance to the churchyard you see a haggard-looking man—not over particular, one would think, as to his ablutions. There is a small knot of people stand- ing round him, and you are just enquiring what has hap- pened when you are startled by the higgard-loobing man, who, with eyes fixed upon you as if in mortal agony, repeats the awful cry of Ah-aha-a-a-aha-oo-ah-oo y^h but this time throwing the emphasis on the .,o-:ih-oc)." This is the Tregaron crier, and the nr,.i7,- that startled you is only the preliminary announcement which stands in the place of a bell. The beiiman of whom it was my intention to write does not reside at Tregaron but at, let us say, Newcastle Em- lyn. This gentleman is more than a mere common-place bellman, and having rung his bell makes an oration, not perhaps word for word like the following, but near enough for those who have not had the pleasure of hearing him to judge of bis style :—" Come here, all of you, I am going to cry, and if you ask me what about 1 shall tell you at once that it is Thomas Thomas's sale. He is as good a man as can be found in this parish, you may take my word for tht. John Jones, the auctioneer—and a rare good auc- tioneer he is, too-will sell all the household furniture-as good as new, most of it, and the remainder's a good deal better. Making furniture is one of the lost arts. What are you laughing at (to a young girl) ? I don't mean sweet- hearts. However, there it is, and you can com and see it, and mind you bring your wives with you. There are two pigs to be sold which will make rare bacon, and no doubt the purchaser will invite me to breakfast if he does not send me several good rashers. Now, you men, if you do come to the sale come sober, and don't let us have a row in the streets. I have a lot more things to cry, but I shall tell you more next time I ciy opposite Bill Morgan's shop door; but now I must have a glass of beer, and the one who is going to pay for it can come into the Sailors'Arms." Opposite Bill Morgan's shop this original crier proceeds with his announcement which is lighted up with a good deal of humour and considerable wit of the unpolished sort. THE TREGARON GHOST. I am sorry to hear that this ghost has disappeared altogether, and the magistrates will, therefore, not have an opportunity of sending it to Cardigan. What a joke it would be to give the ghost's name and age. Perhaps my friends did not ktiov ghosts had names. We need not, however, say anything about names at present. GOOD NEWS. I never take Christmas boxes mvself, and never give any except to people who are shamefully underpaid by a poverty-stricken nation. Everybody ought to tip the post- man at Christmas even if he does not bring a letter on Christmas Day. I hav3 a recipe to give away which will enable those who practice it on a hundred a year to keep three servants, ride a horse, go out shooting, and always have a bottle of good wine in the house, to say nothing of being able to keep your wife's mouth shut with silk dresses and your own trousers from having knees." The recipe is to liquidate by arrangement as often as necessary. You will tind that your creditors will be willing to take five shillings in the pound and be glad to get so much. If your creditors get very awkwerd you can say, Well, gentlemen, sell me Up. and you will only get three- half pence in the pound. I have never wasted a penny, but I think nobody but a cad can always be thinking about paying his way, and you don't surely expect a fellow to live without a horse and a gun Of course not It would be cruel. The Coast. PERRY WINKLE.

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THE PRINCE OF WALES IN INDIA.

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