Evening Express

RETIRING FROM BUSINESS. A business man. accustomed to hard work for many years, usually finds idleness irksome. Men who have been actively in the harness as a rule do not like to retire, although retire- ment in old age is .th'c goal of the average worker. A successful banker who has reached 69 years said the other day: "I am going to give up work. I have worked for 30 years without a week's holiday; now I am going to rest for 31 years. I have earned every penny I possess; now I intend to spend money and stop worry- ing about accumulating it." His friends applauded this determination, and someone inquired how he intended to spend his leisure. "I have bought a little place in Blankshire." he said, "and I shall remove there with my family, and simply revel in idleness and con- tentment." "But how will you pass your spare time?" in- sisted the questioner. "Well, I shall hunt and fish," he said, "Good—but that will not keep you busy the year round." "No; but I shall read; take in all the papers, you know. I shall get together a little library, too." "Wi!l that occupy all your extra time?" "Oh, I shall walk about a good deal, I dare say. Exercise-you know-great thing for an old man." "Is that your entira programme?" "N-no; not exactly," he said. hesitatingly. "The fact is. I'm going to organise a little private bank down there and manage it."

SIX GOOD REASONS for using Horlick's Malted Milk. Because ft is the best food tor Infants en the market. Because it is especially gJod for delicate children with deranged stomachs. Becaase it is the most nourishing and digestible food for children. Because it is the nearest approach to the food provided by nature. Because boys and girls alike thrive marvellously upon it. Because its form is simple and its preparation easy. No cooking or additional milk required. Of ail chemists. Price Is. 6d., 2s. 6d., and 11s. A free sample will be sent, on application, by Horlick and Co., 34, Farringdon-road. London, E,C. Send for "Freddy's Diary," post free. L15225 On Saturday a child named Harris fell over a cliff at Heathfield, Swansea, and sustained a broken arm and leg. "What delicious bread! Where did you get it from?" Oh. we buy it from Stevens, at any of their branches, or they will call." e6700 Low Spirits and Depression often renders Housewives quite unfit for their onerous duties, ] ".t\d to prevent this condition Gwiiym Evans' Qu'uine Bitters, the Vegetable Tonic, is strongly recommended. In bottles 2s. :'d. and 4s. 6d. each. e4S19—1 Low Spirits and Depression often lenders Housewives quite unfit for their onerous duties. and to prevent this condition Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters, the Vegetable Tonic, is strongly recommended. In bottles 23. 9d. and 4s. 6d. each e4919-3

OUR DAILY CARTOON. I Macbeth up to Date. MACBETH (in the witches' cavc): "I'll see no more. Horrible sight! Let this pernicious hour stand, aye accursed, ill the calendar!"

DAilY. RACING COMPETITION. Entrance Fee One Penny. In response to numerous requests, we have decided to make the following alterations in our racing competition:- (1) We have reduced the entrance fee from Twopence to One Penny per Coupon. (2) We shall have a daily competition when- ever the racing permits. (5 Each day we -had publish a Coupon con- taining Three Races (instead of five, as heretofore), to be run on the following day. (4) Coupons, accompanied by a fee of One Penny for each Coupon, must rea?h this Offico by Twelve o'clock of the day on which ths raccs are run. I (5) The whole of the entrance fees, subject to a small deduction for expenses will be awarded to the competitor whose predic- tions are adjmlged by the Editor to be nearest to the correct result, or, in the event of a tie, the money will be divided. (6) We shall publish each day the result of the previous day's competition, together with the Coupon for the iucceeding day's competition. CONDITIONS. Opposite '\he name of each Race in the Coupon write the naffle of the horse you select. Place the Coupon in an envelope, bearing the words. "Racing .Competition," and addressed to the "Evening Express" Office. Cardiff. Send as many Cuupons as you like, but every Coupon must be accompanied by an Entrance Fee of ONE PENNY' in stamps. Sums of One Shilling and upwards may be in postal orders. i Write your name and address clearly in the space provided for that purpose on each Cou- pon. The decision of the Editor must be accepted as absolutely final. No member of the "Evening Express" or "Western Mtui" staff is allowed to compete. RACING COUPON. TO BE SENT IN BY 12.30 ON TUESDAY. RACK. ¡ WINNING HORSE. I Wells s'ooumeNursery Handicap Plate. _d_¡ The StoueleigU Plate. Warwick Handicap Plats. Plats. Name Address i TO BE SENT IN BY 12.30 ON TUESDAY. TO BE RUX TO-MORROW (TUESDAY). The WELLESBOURNE HANDICAP PLATE. Five furlongs. etib Mr C A Mills's Mazepp t — 9 0 Mr G Edwardes's Fairy Field 8 13 Mr Richard Croker's Tomtit 8 11 Lord Wolverton's Kosenville 7 13 Mr T Stacey's Pink Rose colt 7 13 Mr G F Faw cett's Blase 7 9 Mr Vale's Broken Link 7 6 Captain Orr-Ewing's Montbars 7 4 Mr T R Dewar's Miss Wing 7 3 Mr A P Cunliffe's Capricieuse 7 3 Mr G Edwardes's Pr.itie filly 7 3 The remaining entries are continued in the 1 next. *n. I -v. Mr A J Schwabe's Tortoui 7 0 Mr George Lanibton's Jargoon 6 12 Mr T ShertVcod's Marta. Santa 6 12 Mr J Collins's Delivery 6 11 Mr G Parrott's Sweet Annette 6 10 Mr T V Sanders's Last Gift 6 9 Mr W G Stevens's Mango 6 8 Mr J S Walley's Makerfield 6 8 Mr F Bishop' Scotch Hawk 6 7 Mr W Maiden's Swsiana colt 6 7 The STONELEIGH PLATE. One mile. Age Mr J H Betts's Bull Fight 3 Mr T G Oartwright'srBob Elton 3 Mr Saunders Davies's Bogie Maid 3 Lord Derby's Alt Mark 3 Mr It A Harper's Einnoc 3 Mr Heath's Torres Vcdra.s 3 Mr E C Irish's Stormfiend 1 4 Mr W A .Tarvis's Loreto 3 Mr J Joicey's Queen of the Brine 3 Mr W I,ow's Herinistou 3 Mr Malcolm's Pythia filly 3 Mr L Neumann's Merely 3 Mr W Nicholas .Spanish Beauty 4 Mr Charles Reinach's Boundary Stone filiy. 3 Mr H Sahdg&te's Huggi'as 3 Mr T Sherwood's Stream of Gold 3 Mr H Stubbs's Kitty Watson 3 Mr Towniey-l'arker's Highwayman 3 Duke of Westminster's Oalveley 3 Lord Wolverton's Sallins 3 The WARWICK HANDICAP PLATE. One mile. a, st lb Duke of Westminster's Ameer 3 9 0 Mr C. A. Brown's Roughside 5 9 0 Mr A. Knowles's The Tinman a 8 12 Lord Gr.anvi.lc Gordon's Sheeroe 4 8 9 Sir J. Thursby's Trevor 4 8 7 ¡ Mr E Melly's Miss Tailor 3 8 '6 Mr. D. Seymour's Angsana a. 8 4 Mr J H Betts'.« Bicornigsr 3 8 2 Mr B Gottschalk's Lexicon 4 8 2 Mr G. Maclachlan's Martha III 5 8 1 Mr R. A. Harper's Superb 3 7 11 Mr B. S. Cooper's Cloon 5 7 11 Mr. F. Alexander's Mandorla 3 7 11 Mr D. Seymour's Orange L:ly 6 7 11 Mr Murray Griffiths's Sambre .5 710 Sir J. Thursby's Grace Skelton 5 7 7 Mr H. Sandgate's King Tartar .5 7 7 Mr E. Kirwan's Gobry.is li 7 7 Mr Heath's Torres Vedras 3 7 2 Mr Rsid Walker's Warfield ,'i 6 12 Mr W. G. Stevens's Brenda 5 6 12 Mr J. Dover's Xata, ;t 6 12

STATE-AIDED THEATHES. "To tax and to please is not glvan to men," said Burke. But the French nation irtposes upon itself a peculiar tax of 1,280,000 francs, and is pleased! To be sure, 1,280,000 francs, invested in pleasure ought to please. Thi3 sum is paid annually by the State in the way of theatrical subvention-; to the Opera, 800,000; to the Theatre Francais. 240,000; to the Opera- Comiqus, 140,000; to the Odeon, 100,000 francs. The other nineteen theatres of Paris stand on their own legs. The Opera, technically bap- tised "Aeadamie Nationale de Musique," has 2,156 seats, which sell for from two to seven- teen francs a night. As for the boxes, with their minature salons attached, they represent not only money, but heart-sickening deferred hopes, because many an aspirant for the per- manent tenure of a box has waited twenty weary years, and more. and then got nothing for his patience. A box-holder may transmit his leaie by will. But if his heirs raise no claim, tha directors of the theatre appoint a. successor from among the candidates en queue, to those who have survived after standing in Lne for a auarter-c-antiwy —The Parisian."

"What delicious bread! Where did you get! it from?" Oh, we buy it from Stevsns. at any of their branches, or they will call." e67oo A branch of tm Independent Labour Party has been opened at Splott, Cardiff. A Pure Vegetable Tonic, Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters. It not only gives you freedom from pain, but strength and zest for your work that makes it a. pleasure. In bottles ..a. Sd. and 4s. 6d. each. e49l9—5 A seaman named Thomas W.enk, a native of Ireland, belonging to the steamer Torr Head, lying at Barry Dock, fell down the hold on Saturday evening, and sustained a fatal fracture of the base of the skull. 1IVER COMPLAINTS.—Dr. King's Dandelion rnd Quinine,Liver Pills, without Mercury, art a patent remedy; removes all Livor and Stomach Complaints, Biliousness. Headaches. Sickness. Shoulder Pains. Heartburn. Indige. tion. Constipation.. &1 Wonderfnl Medidno.—Kernicka Vegetable Pills; cure headache, indigestion, nervous debility. Ac-; 7jd.. Is. lid-, ailJ 2s. 9d. per tox.- Sold everywbts-

OUR FREE GIFT OF BOOKS TO EVERY READER OF THE "EVENING EXPRESS." We are presenting gratis to every regular reader of the "Evening Express" one of the following high-class, cloth-bound, and gold- lettered standard works of English literaturs;- Shaks}X'are's Complete Plays and Sonnets; "Vanity Fair," by Thackeray; "The Caxtons," by Lord Lytton; "Ernest Maltravers," by Lord Lytton; "Alice, or tho Mysteries," by Lord) Lytton; "Ivanhoe," by Sir Walter Scott; "The Scarlet Letter," by Hawthorne; "Mary Bar- ton," by Mrs. Gaskell; "Lays of the Scottish Cavaliers," by Aytoun; "Jane Eyre," by Char- J lotte Bronte. The books will be given away at the rate of 24 every day until every reader! j has received one. Upon the top of the Second i Page of the "Evening Express" each day will be found a number, printed in violet ink, f which number will be different in every paper that is printed. Keep this number till that following day, and see if it is given in the list! printed below. If your number is given, take! it to either of our offices at Swansea, Newport, | Merthyr, or Cardiff, and you will receive' either of the above bocks. If you cannot con-1 veilieitly call, tear off the purple number and; sen:l it to the "Evening Express" Office, Cardiff, I with your name and address and twopence' towards the cost of postage, and the book chosen by ycu will be forwarded to your I address. No parson is entitled to a second book, even though he be the holder of a I selected number, until every reader has received a book. Purchasers of SATURDAY'S Evening Express" Bearing tne Following Numbers! Printed in Violet Ink on the Top Left-hand ¡. Corner of Page 2 are Entitled to a E 12.3628 125766 128444 128597 132080 132376 132548 132888 137098 137276 137500 137701 138111 142370 142601 142827 142^1) 143300 146490 146900 147533 147963 148888 154763 155333 156000 157548 161544 162763 163488 164444

I LAVENDER PERFUME. Old-fashioned lavender perfume has come back to favour among the many other revivals of nearly a century ago. It appears in the list of French extracts and sachets, and its delicate fragrance exhales from the petals of choice Parisian-made artificial flowers. The odour of lavender is agreeable to many people who do not like other perfumes. In imagi- nation it is always associated with freshness, sveetness, and housewifely daintiness. Poet3 have sung the praises of lavender, and in gei.eral estimation the odorous grey-blue-tinted spike ranks next only to the regal rose and the modest violet. Lavender produces a sense of refreshment, and the modest colour of the ) flower seems in perfect unison with its scent. The lavender plant was formerly considered an emblem of affection, and. sweet and fresh as it always is, has become, from association, th3 i-ynonyin of anything carefully laid by for future use.

Have you tried Phillips's Is. 6d. Tea? It is a Triumph of the '1 ea Blending Art.and is distinctly superior to the so-called "finest teas." e1636-3 On Sunday the Aberdare branch of the Amalgamated Society of Railway Servants had their annual church parade. Don't Delay if you feel out of sorts, but take Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters, the Best Remedy of the Age for Indigestion, Nervous- ness, Weakness, and Sleeplessness. Sold in bottles 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. each. e4919—4 I TO DARKEN OREY !fAIR.-Lockyer'! Sul- phur Hair Restorer is the quickest, best, safest, 4 costs less. effects more than any other. Thb coicnr produced is the most natural. Lockyer's Sulphur is the only English Hair Restorer. Universally Relied on. 2 i A Triumph of the Tea Blending Art— 1 PHILLIPS'S ls. 6d. TEA. Have you tried it? It ] is distinctly superior to the ■»<called finest 1 teas." e!636—1

r FOR BOYS AND GIRLS ONLY; The "Evenin? Express" Boys' and Girls' Club (established March 21, 1893) is formed for the purpose of promoting principles of kindness amongst younr people, and tor the mutual interest and instruction of its members. Boys and Girls, wherever resident, aro eligible for membership, provided their age be not less than six or more than sixteen years. The Club has now 2,831 members. Intending Members must fill up the sub- joined Coupon, and forward it to Uncle Joe, "Evening Express," Cardiff. Their names and addresses will be published, and each new Member ie entitled to a beautifully designed Certificate. Cardiff Members must call for their Certificates at the "Express" Offices, St. Mary-street. Other members must forward one penny stamp for pc stage. Only Club Members are eligible to compete for the Prizes given in this column Uncle Joe is always pleased to hear from his Club Members on any matter of interest, whether relating to school or recreation, and he invites questions and answers. I Children writing to Uncle Joe must always add to their names their official numbar as Members of the Club. Uiirlt jnt'g Club Coupon SEPTEMBER 5 TO SEPTEMBER 10. I desire to be enrolled a member of the "Evening Express" Boys' and Girls' Club, and I hereby promise That I will always be obedient to my parents, and kind to the aged and infirm. inat I will try and help less fortu- nate children. That I will be kind to animals, v-at I will try and do something every day to make things happy for those round me. Full name. Age —. Address Proposed by [Write very plainly in ink.] NOTICE. Special attention is called to the above rules, which have been slightly altered. Coupons for the current week must be used-old ones are no good. Uncle Joe wants only members who will interest themselves in the Club and keep the rules. It has come to Uncle Joe's know- ledge that one or two children have called at these offices for certificates which they have not handed to the rightful owners. If any of these offend-ars are caught they will be sorry for it.

KILLING ROMANCE. CRUSOE'S ISLAND TO BE PEOPLED WITH COD FISHERS. The romance with which Crusoe's Island has hitherto been invested will presently disappear before the march of the pioneer. Chili is going to colonise the island a'nd people it with fisher- men. The island of Juan Fernandez lies 400 miles west of Valparaiso, in the South Pacific Ocean, and can only be reached by special steamers, which make excursions there once or twice a year. In September of 1704 an English ship of 90 tons, known as the Cinque Ports, was sailing through the South Pacific Ocean. On board was a Scotchman, named Alexander Selkirk, who turned mutinous, and was given the choice of being hanged at the yardarm or left on the desert island of Juan Fernandez. He accepted the latter alternative, and lived on the island for four years and four months. Alexander Selkirk was at last rescued by the English privateer Duke, which was attracted to the island by a fire built by Selkirk, on what is now known as "Robinson's Crusoe's Look- out." There is a. monument to Selkirk on the Island of Juan Fernandez. It is a. marble j tablet set in the rocks at "Robinson Crusoe's Look-out." It 'vas placed there ly some Eng- lish naval officers about 30 years ago. The inscription reads as follows:- In Memory of Alexander Selkirk, Mariner, A native of Largo, in the county of Fife, Scotland, who lived on this island in complete solitude four years and four months. He was landed from the Cinque Ports galley, 96 tons, 18 guns, A.D. 1704, and was taken off in the Duke, privateer, 12th February, 1709. He died Lieutenant of H.M.S. Weymouth, A.D. 1723, aged 47 years. This Tablet is erected near Selkirk's look-out by Commodore Powell and the officers of H.M.S. Topaze, A.D. 1868. There are at present only fifteen persons on Crusoe's Island, but the Chilian Government has discovered that cod and seal abound off the coast, and soon a bustling, striving colony will be established on the island, where Alex- ander Selkirk spent the lonesome exile that was to give to the world its most famous story book.

PHILLIPS'S Is. 6d. TEA is a Triumph of the Tea Blending Art. It is distinctly superior to the so-called "finest teas." Have you tried it? e2 How is it after eating Stevens's bread you want to continue with it? 3d. per loaf, delivered. The Littie English Liver Tonic.—Kernick's Vegetable Pills: dose, one small pill; 'lid., is. lid., and 2s. 9d. per box.-Of all Stores. j. SPOTLESS COMPLEXION.-Sulpholine Lotion clears off all imperfections in a few lays. Pimples, Roughness, Tan, Uncomfortable Skin Oisugurements entirely fade away, leaving 4 beautiful skin. Shilling Bottles of Sulpholine everywhere. e—4 A FAIR. BEAUTIFUL SKIN.-Sulpholine 3oap givea the natural tint and peach-like bloom of a, perfect complexion, makes the skin imooth. supple, healthy, comfortable. Tablets averywhere. e-l IMPORTANT TO MARRIED LADIES.—Send Stamped Addressed Envelope for most ,'alnable Particulars and Testimonials (which tre guaranteed genuine under a penalty of r., -A. £ 1,000).—Beware of imitators.—A. DASMAIL, 30x 387, Langdale, Walthamstow, London. istatlished half a. century. e6966

TOO SHARP TEAr TIME. Sometimes school board officers are very officious and arrogant in manner. An elderly gentleman opened his door to one lately, and answered the following questions:- "Have you any children?" "Yes." .J 4 "How many?" M. "Three." "Are they all at school?" "No." "Are any of themP" "No." "We must see to that," said the man pom- pously, taking out a note-book. "Now, your name and address?" Given. "Your children's names?" Also given. "Now their ages?" "Well, let me think," answered the father o! the family, with a gleam of fun in his eyes. "Willie, the youngest, is thirty, and was married last week." "Thunder!" roared the officer, "why didn't you tell tne that at first?" "Because you didn't happen to aek me," answered the old gentleman quietly.

HER OVIST. IDEA. A little girl got in a very great rage with her nurse, tore her hair, kicked her, and spat at her. The child's mother gave her the necessary and proper sermon on her evil behaviour, and ended by saying she feared it was the devil who had put such evil deeds into her head. Yes," said the child, it was the devil who told me to tear her hair, and kick-but the spitting was my own idea!"

V-"U. ■HIJIW ■ 4-- f'RAINDROPS." As they eoftly fall, They're so very small, Those little drops of rain;' To do any good They surely should Be twice as large again* Yet it ia not go, Because, you know, God made those raindrops small f He uses them too, •' His work to do, E'en the smallest drop of a.U- They have work ta do, And so have you, Never mind if the work is small* The raindrops don't ask For a greater task, Their part is just to fall. No matter the size In God's loving eyes That is not what He looks to sett; What He asks of you Is His Will to do, He needs just your service free. He settles the place. On the great earth's face, Where each raindrop is to fall. So for you and me A place there'll be, Our part is to fill it, that's all. -from "On Service."

THE REAL MARK TWAIN. When in the covrse of his talking tcur round the world Mark Twain visited the famous Towers of Silence, one of our party desired to "snap- shot" the scene, but. permission was peremp- torily refused. Curious to discover why what had readily been accorded to others should te so sternly denied to us, I asked a Parsee friend, who happened to be there, what he imagined to be the reason. Without hesitation he replied, "They are afraid Mark Twain wants the picture for the purpose of making fun of the Towers." Such is, to use Professor Brander Mathews's phrase, "tho penalty of humour." I shall not be guilty of any indiscretion in say- ing that Mr. Clemens not infrequently feels the role of humourist intolerably irksome, and, further, that he would prefer to be remembered by his more serious works than by his purely humorous. Probably, if a plebiscite of his admirers were taken, a huge majority of votes would be cast in favour of "Huck. Finn," as Mark Twain's masterpiece. That also is my own opinion. In my case, "The Prince and the Pauper," and "Joan of Arc" would not stand high on the poll, yet they are the favourites of their author. This marked and peculiar pre- ference has always appeared to me a positive indication of the basic seriousness of Mr. Clemens's temperament. Indeed, very often the suspicion is provoked among those who know him intimately that his antic disposition is largely assumed, and that fundamentally the author of "The Innocents Abroad" is a sedate savant who had been seduced from the paths of high seriousness by a fatal sense of the ridi- culous.—"The Pall Mall Magazine."

A FACE STUDY. So much has been written on the different features of the human face that the subject seems to be pretty well ehausted; yet while the traits of character revealed by the eyes, nose, mouth, ears, chin, teeth, and even wrinkles, have been so exhaustively treated, an- other subject replete with interest, has appa- I rently escaped the general epitomising. .Were a line drawn directly down through the centre of the face, the two halves would dis- cover marked differences. The outlines of the forehead where the hair begins to grow will vary materially, giving decidedly distinctive outlines, adding in many casej at least one half-inch to the height of the forehead. In many faces, too, the difference in the eyebrows is hardly perceptible; yet were they measured mathematically the curves would show variations of outline. Of the eyes, a careful analysis will discover the right one not only larger, but differing in ex- pression as well as in colour, in some instances. The difference also in the slanting of the orbits will be noticeable. It is in the eyes that the greatest lacli, of similarity is likely to be found. The upper lids differ materially from exact drawings, and below the eyes the under lids are even more pronounced in their variations. A careful study of the nose will discover the nostrils decidedly different. One is often larger than the other, or will extend below a line drawn diametrically across the face. In fact, if carefully scrutinised, the entire nose will be found different on either side. So it is also with the mouth. It is often the case that the movements of the under lip on one. side of the mouth when a person is speak- ing is in direct contrast to the movements of the lip on the other side. This peculiarity indicates an unsteady, untrustworthy nature. The cheek on one side of the face will, in many instances, be considerably more rounded than on the other, and the difference in the position and general contour of the ears is often startling.—"Cassell's Saturday Journal."

WHY SHOULD THIS BE. certain hotel in the north was recently re- opened "under entirely new management." The outgoing landlord, in the course of a friendly chat, had given his successor the benefit of his experience of the house and its customers. "There are some shady ones among them," se said. "Whatever you do, keep your eye on J-. This individual prides himself on his oratorical powers; but that isn't the worst of iiim. He'll run up a score and then leave the house until it is once more 'under new management.' He has done it with the last three landlords, to my knowledge." "He won't do it on me," said the ingoing tenant. "I'll soon shift him." As many of the frequenters of the house had expected on thfe very first night J- was there. He seized the 4rst opportunity to make himself heard. "Ah, friends," he said, addressing the com- pany in general, "the way of the world is pecu- liar. Call a man a puppy and he will knock you down. Call him a gay dog, and he will grasp you by the hand. Why should this be?" No answer. "A man will walk three miles in three hours through a thunderstorm alongside a girl. Twelve months after he won't walk off his own doorstep with the same girl till the shops are closed. Why should this be?" No answer. The landlord: "I'll set you one. A man has visited this house three times, at long inter- vals, has run up three scores, has paid none of them, and won't be trusted again. Why should this be?" No answer. Mr. J hurriedly left.

Mr. David Hopkins, who has been for many years in the public works department of the Cardiff Corporation, died from typhoid fever early on Saturday morning at the sanatorium. Deceased, who leaves a widow and several chil- dren, was well known, having been intimately associated with Church work at St. Catherine's. The funeral will probably take place to-morrow (Tuesday).

CADBURY'S COCOA is absolutely pure, and is, therefore, the best Cocoa. It is a refreshing, stimulating drink, and a nutritious food, con- taining no foreign substances, such as kola, malt, hops, Ao. The fact cannot be too strongly impressed that Cocoa must be unadulterated to assure its fullest beneficial effects. Always insist on having- CADBURY'S—sold only in Packets and Tins—as other Cocoas are often substituted for the IIÚUI at extra profit, a3A3$-&

ITALY IN LONDON. Many Londoners have heard about the Italian district which lies in the neighbourhood of Theobald's-road and Hatton-garden; and some with inquiring minds have strolled up Leather. lane and watched the Italian ice-cream vendors and fortune-telling women with pretty love- birds, intermingled with the dirty, noisy, street hawkers, common to all London slums. It is amusing to watch the old padri making pur- chases of meat and vegetables for the Sunday's dinner, or a young Francesco and Madalena choosing a "gold" ring with which to plight their troth. "0 che allegrezza! allegrezza! alle- grezza!" (oh, what joy!) cries the young girl as she slips the ring on her finger and gazes at it with admiration, surrounded by a little group of sympathising friends. Then she blushes and cries. "Oibo! 0 vegogna!" (Oh, fie, for shame!) when Francesco slips his arm round her waist and gives her a hearty kiss, which the friends applaud with "Bene! Bravo, bravis- simo!" It is amazing to learn how these Italians crowd together in the poky little houses of the court and alleys. Generally a house is hired by an old padrone, who sublets it to as many of his countrymen as he can respectably squeeze in. The cellars are utilised as sleeping apartments, and in the morning as many M twenty, even thirty, men will emerge from the bowels of the earth, blinking and winking in the daylight after a night spent in the cel- lars under one small dwelling-house. A whole family, consisting of a husband and wife and eight or nine fanciulli of various ages, often sleep in one small garret or cellar.—"Ludgate."

WIRELESS TELEGRAPHY ANTICIPATED BY SAVAGES. It is amazing to learn from Colonel George Earl Church, writing in the "Geographical Journal," that the telephone was anticipated by Indians in the valley of the Amazon. Their machine consists of a hollow piece of hard palm wood filled with sand, rubber, pieces of wood and hide, and fixed in a socket of sand, hide, resin, and rubber. This is struck with a club of wood coated with rubber and hide. One of these instruments is hidden in each habitation, these being about a mile distant one from the other, and all on a direct line north and south. The instruments are en rapport with each other; and when struck with a club the neighbouring ones to the north and south, if not above a mile distant, respond to or echo the blow. To this an Indian answers by striking the instrument in the habitation with which it is desired to commu- nicate, which blow in turn is echoed by the instrument originally struck. Each habitation has its own series of signals. Outside the building it is difficult to hear a blow. Conver- sations by these instruments appear to be carried on in a kind of Morse code.

HAPPY THOUGH STOMACH- LESS. Recent surgical operations give absolute evi- dence that human beings can exist in compara- tive health without stomachs. MM. J. Carvallo and V. Pachon have also experimented with view of determining whether some of the func- tions of the stomach,can be discharged by other parts of the digestive apparatus without detriment to he organism generally. It was found that dogs, owing to anatomical con- siderations, were not adapted to such experi- ments; but they were able to present to the Societe de Biologie a young cat from which the stomach had been entirely removed, and which had not only increased in weight three and c. half months after the operation, but was able perfectly to digest proteids in the form of cooked meats, starches, and fats. The diges- tion of raw meat was less perfect. They specially draw attention to the indisposition of both the dog and the cat to take the trouble of feeding themselves after the operation, and they believe that the stomach plays an im- portant part as a peripheral sensory organ.

THESE WICKED MEN. "We don't care," she said, glancing at t1 two figures far down the beach. "Of course not," he replied, promptly, draw. ing nearer. "Why should we?" He locked at her admiringly. Her eyes were following their late companions. We shouldn't," she replied, hastily, with a little catch in her breath. "Only-" She paused. "Only what?" bending so that he could look into the downcast eyes. "Well, I thought that you might care." "Nonsense!" taking her hand. "Just because I've been thrown with Miss Chilton a good deal you think Lhat I'm—well, never mind. But I'm not" Her eyes drooped. "In fact, I'm very well pleased with this arrangement." She laughed a cilvery little laugh. "It is nice of you to say so," coquettishly. He looked offended. "I mean it, of course," gravely. "Indeed, rve been wanting just this chance to see you," he went on. "Apworth has been a monopolist long enough. I-I don't believe in monopolists, do you?" "No," she laughed; "not in some kinds." Sho tried to withdraw her hand. He held it fast. j It is a temptation to be. sometimes. I grant. A very greats temptation," he added, as she looked up at him quickly. Then he bent and kissed her. Printed by the Proprietorg, Western Mail Limited, and published by them at their offices, St. Mary-street, Cardiff; at their o ocs. Castle Bailey-street, Swansea; at tne shop of Mrs. Wesley Williams, Bridgend-all in the County of Glamorgan; at the "Western Mail" Offices, Newport; at the shop of Mr. J. F. Caffrey, Monmouth, both in the County of Mm. mouth and at the shop of Mr. D. Da vies. I4aaelly. in the County of Carmarthen. MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1898

[ "W OUR MAGAZINE PAGE FOR MEN, WOMEN, AND CHILDREN.

COMPLETED STORY. Misadventures of Melville Jones-No. 15. BY J. LOUGHMORE. Author of "The Dells of Castle Grange." "Mickey Morgan," Ao.. & MB. JOYES IS FOUND. b. Lighting a huge torch, the guLI-j entered the caves, followed by Charley Richards and myself. W' j kept on for some distarce without speaking a word, peering into every corner and behind th- immense pillars which looked like those of a Gcihic cathedral. We twisted and turned among the ma.iv devious waj's, but could see among the ma.iv devious ways. but could see nothing that would indicate to us the presence or otherwise of the lost Jones. The guide, who paid very little heed to our anxiety, was more intent on showing us the beauties of the place than of assisting us in our search. And in this, of course, he was. not to be blamed. He was fully convinced that no one but ourselves were at that moment inside those caves, and he looked upon our prying into insignificant co-rers as so much waste of time. The very places that we wanted to see he wished to pass by. and it was only by the aid of an antici- patory tip that we got him to fall into our ways. After we had been about half an hour I inside we began to shout, waiting after every cry of Jones," in hopes of hearing a response. But not a sound beyond the echoes of our own voices reached us. At last we had, according to the guide, explored every corner of the caves, and were about to return, when my foot came in contact with something which gave a metallic ring. Asking the guide to lower the torch, I picked up a cigarette case, which I at once recognised as belonging to Jones. A stilt further search brought to light a gold stud, which I knew to be like those worn by Rios, and, putting the two things together, it was easy to see that we stood on the scene of a recent scuffle. Even if the whole ground had to be retraced we could not now leave the cave without a further, and, if possible, still more exhaustive search. As it happened, we had not much further to seek. Inside a crevasse, the entrance to which was scarcely big enough to admit a man. I found Jones bound, gagged, and apparently lifeless. Not only were his feet and hands manacled, but he was tied firmly by the arm-pits to a. stout pillar, so that any kind of movement was impossible. With some difficulty wo get him into the main shaft of the caves, and soon had him in the open-air. He was not dead, and a few minutes served to restcre him to consciousness. When he was able to speak he looked at :ne with a quiet smile, and said.— "A tight shave, old man. but I thought you would find me." I was quite touched by Jones's confidence in me. and had to turn my head away. 'Ihe full account of his adventures I shall give you in his own words. After reciting the letter already quoted. JonM decided to keep the appointment with. as he thought, the charming I Seoorita Blanco. He had no suspicion of foul 1 play, aa thought nothing of the apparent improbability of a self-respecting young lady writing a letter of the kind. "In order not to be recognised," he went on, "I took with me a false beard, which I put on in a quiet corner outside the town, and then made my way to a small station about three iriles from Palma. where I took a ticket for Manacor. Before I arrived there, however, I lock eff the beurd, as I thought it improbable that anyone would recognise ;ne so far away, and I did not want the senorita to see me in a disguise. Scarcely had I stepped out on the platform when a man approached me and told me he had a coach ready. It was a tartana, so that when I chose I could hide myself completely from all passers-by. This I did. for the most part, and I do not think anyone taw me from the time I left the station at M&nacor until we reached the caves at Arta. Arrived thre the driver tied up his horse and offered to conduct me to the young lady. There was 80 guide about at the time, but my com- panion evidently know all the ins and outs of the caves, for. pulling a torch from some h'ding place, he walked straight in. with me at his heels. I thought it an extraordinary place for a rendezvous with a young lady, but then I remembered her desire for secrecy, as well as the hints she gave me about being able to tell me something to my advantage. Who could tell but that she knew the secrets of some liidden treasure, to be found in these very 'caves. I followed my guide, getting more nervous at every moment, until in the end I refused to go any further. Then he gave a whistle, extinguished his torch, and the next moment I fonnd two or three men around me, holding my arms and endeavouring to put something over my mouth. I managed to get loosa, however, and to give some pretty Lard knocks to one or more of them, but I could do very little in the darkness, and was finally overcome. Having been securely tied, I was dragged forward into the hole where you found me. unable to move or to utter a word. For some time my captives remained in the neighbourhood, apparently listening, but now and again whispering in such low tents that I was unable to hear a single word. Nevertheless, I thought I recognised Bios's voice, and began cursing myself as a fool for having allowed myself to be led into such an evident trap. But they went away at last, and the voice I took to belong to Rios muttered the words, "Senorita Blanco," in a harsh, guttural voice, followed by a. Mephistophelian kind of laugh. For a long time I consoled myself with the thought that my friends would be on the look-out for me. but as time went on. and I remembered the trouble I had taken to hide my movements, I began to face the possi. bility of being left alone to die. It was not a pleasant place to die in, nor was the manner of my death at all to my taste. I began to think of home and the quiet churchyard in which the bones of my family reposed, and to envy my father and those other old friends who could enjoy the comfort of breathing their last with their relatives around them. And then I began to reproach myself for the mannpr in which I had lately treated my parents. Ever since I set out on that unfortunate expedition to Templedare I had not written to them, and for anything they knew I might be already dead. I was supposed to be studying sociology-a most mysterious subject as far as my kind parents were concerned, but instead of study, ing I was getting into all kinds of scrapes, and was now going to bring grief to their remain- ing days by dying far away in the land of the ttranger. Then I would make fierce efforts to burst my cords, or to get the gag away from my mouth, but all such efforts were in vain, and I became more exhausted every moment. Not only so. but my limbs began to ache so much that at times the physical pain I suffered made me even forget the doom which was awaiting me. But once more my faith in the efforts of my friends to find me would conquer all other feelings, and for the moment I would feel almost happy. Even emotions of this kind seemed to have the effect of exhausting me, and. in spite of everything during the thirty hours or so I had been in the cave, I managed to have several good snatches of sleep. Of course, I had no idea of the course of time, and if I were to measure by my sensations, I should have calculated that my captivity had lasted a fortnight. Towards the end I grew somewhat delirious, occa- sioned, I believe, by the terrible thirst which I suffered. Hunger did not trouble me much. as I believe is usually the casq in ex- periences of this kind, but, even if assured of rescue, I would have given ten years of my life to have been able to drink some of the sherry which I had in my pocket. At length I found myself fainting away altogether, and must have been some time in that state when found." We drove on to Manacur, and. after par- taking of a good dinner and a liberal quantity of champagne, we were able to catch the train back to Palma. Charley Richards wired to the chief of police telling him that Jones had been found, and that Rios should not be allowed to escape. That night our ex-interpreter spent in the lock-up. We got back in time for the evening's per- formance, and when the populace s.aw Jones's familiar face once more, there was such enthusiasm as had never been known in Palma. Through the agency of the police the whole story got w?!1 around, and Jones became ten times a greater hero than before. Thousands crowded round the coach in an effort to shake hands with him, and quit-3 £ 200 worth of remedies were despatched from the cart. Miss Blanco was in her usual place, looking radiant, but somewhat shamefaced; and I noticed that Jones did not forgst to pay her the usual share of atttention. That night was a great one at the hotel. Without the least notice three bands, includ- ing the principal military band of the town, camj to serenade u-. W neIl on!' had done the other would begin, so that for over two hours, in the presence of at least 15,000 people, the mu.ic went on. Then, following the Morzah custom, we invited the musicians to partake of refreshments, including a. cold supper. A fourth band made its way into the patio or courtyard, and, whilst their comrades were en- joying themselves inside, they kept up the concert. But before the festivities were over, the chief of police came to us for instructions regarding Rios, who. we now learned, was appealing to us for mercy. The Spanish police are very obliging, and if the prosecutor does not wish to push a case too far, they are always ready to stretch the law a. little. Rios sent word that if we did not prosecute he would promise to leave the island and never trouble us again. What with the effect of champagne and the general cheer Jones was inclined to agree to this, particularly as,. ha could not be absolutely certain as to whether Rios was one of the men who attacked him in the cave. But even without Jones's evidence, I think we could have suc- ceeded in convicting him. In the end we took the lenient view, and the fellow was sent off by the first boat to Barcelona. Our next adventure of any importance was in connection with the theatrical company with which we travelled to Palma, but that must be left for another chapter.

"SHE-N O-FORGET-'IM." A Mr. P., in a town near San Francisco, had a Chinese cook named Sam Lee. Sam was in love with an almond-eyed damsel who lived in the Chinese quarter of the town, and one day when Sam was going to visit his sweet- heart he begged Mr. F.'s youngest daughter to make him a bouquet of flowers to take to his adored one. "Missee, you makee Sam bckay llowns? Heap good bokay. Heap good bokay fo' Sam lil girleÚ" Muss F. willingly consented, and soon gathered a hunch, of choice roses and heliotrope, which Ehe took to thi expectant Sam, whose countenance was covered with a broad grin at the sight thereof. But on a closer examination of the bouquet his mouth commenced to droop, and his face assumed a moat lugubrious pxpression as he plaintively wadied "Da,t bokay no good. missee; Same want bokay allee samee white man! You no put in some 'she-noforget-'im' After Miss F. h3. dfound out what Sam meant, that worthy was made jubilant with a huge bunch of forget-me-nots which he bore off in triumph. laughing and saying audibly to him- self-.—Heap good bokay: Heap good! Sam allee samee white man now!"

OUTWITTED. It is weil-known that diamonds are subject to duty wheu imported into tho United States, and, of course, smuggling is equally common. As a general rule 'he Customs citie-a-s are alive to the various devices, few of which are particularly novel. But recently a certain Mr. B was a trifle to.i clever for them. They hid received information that he would pro- bably try to smuggle some diamonds, and, of course, were on the look-out for him. Every- thing seemed plain sailing, especially when he was found to be wearing an immense plaster, ostensibly over a big wound. Protests and cries of pain werd alike unavailing. The officials temoved the plaster, and. as they expected, found a number of fine-looking stones. Of course. B- was promptly arrested, while the booty was pent off to be valued. Then cams the sequel. Th? stones wtre glass, and so the man had to be set fre3 with apologies. It seems hardly necessary to add that the parcel of real diamonds of which the ustoms people had been advised had been duly passed through by a. confederate without any difficulty.

NO WONDER THEY GET WHACKED. "Papa," -aid little Johnny, "whit is an old saw—not the saw you saw with. but the kind this pa,per speaks about?" "What old saw docs the paper speak about?" "That's what I want t ) know. It say-;¡:Everybody has beud the old old saw. Never look a horse in the mouth.' I want to know where the old saw comes in. 'Well, there's your old saw. An old saw is an old proverb." "Why. shouldn't you look a gift horse in the mouth?" "Because—because it's in bad taste. It's ungrateful, and all that sort of thing-" "All what sort of thing?" "Why. to look a horse in the mouth that has ben givei to you shows that-it shows that you are not thinking of the giver, but of the value of the gift." "What would anybody want to look a hcrse :n the mouth for?" "To tell how old it is." (After a pause): "Papa, can you tall how old a saw is by looking at its teeth?" Then things became lively.

How is it after eating Stevens's bread you want to continue with it? 3d. per loaf. delivered. John Henry Eeynoa, a child of four years of age, son of Thomas Beynon. 61. High-street. Aberdar^ was drowned in the feeder at Cwm- hach o*. Saturday. Prevention is better than Cure. When Brain and Bcdy are overtaxed, the system should be Kept thoroughly "up to the mark" by taking Gwilym Evans' Quinine Bitters. In Bottles 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. each. e4919—2 PEPPER'S QUININE AND 'IRON TONIO. 2s. 9d. and 4s. 6d. each. e4919-2 PEPPER'S QUININE AND ,I;RON TONIC. embracing, vivifying, sustaining, dispela depression, curea indigestion, neuralgia, and; all aches or puns. Pepper's, the only real tonic. Shilling bottles. «—e I .-¡.

N COMICALITIES—ORIGINAL AND OTHERWISE. What do they do in bucket shops, papa?" Mr. Bloobumper: You should say, "Whom do they do in bucket shops?" They do the bucket-shoppers. How long is it going to take to get through with this case?" asked the client, who was under suspicion of housebreaking. Well, replied the young lawyer, thoughtfully, "it'll take me about. two weeks to get through with it, but I'm afraid it's going to take you about four years." Thackeray, who lost his mother when about five years of age, was taken charge of by his aunt, Mrs. Ritchie, who was alarmed on finding that her husband's hat fitted the ooy. She accordingly took him to Sir James Clark. After an examination the popular physi-:ia.M said. Don't be afraid; he has a large head, but thert is a great deal in it." Thackeray had not onlv a large head. but he was tall and large alto- gether.. He used to tell his own story of the travelling showman whom he found one day sitting disconsolate by the roadside, because he had just lost his giant. Thaekeray asked whether he might do for the place. Critically and seriously the showman examined him, and said, Well, you're nigh tall enough, but I'm I afraid you are too hugly." Patron: I bought some batter here last we<k you remember. Grocer: Very well, indeed, sir. Didn't you find. it to be as represented? Patron: I did, sir, and that's what I've come to complain of. You told me it would outrank any butter in the market, and it did. "You remind me so much of my poor, dear, first husband. You remind me of him altogether too much, my dear." Ethel (gently but firmly): N-no, George, I cannot be your wife; but-you must not lose all hope and ambition in life just because I am obliged to refuse you." George: Oh, no; I won't do that." Ethel: "Nor take to drink?" George: "Oh. no; not at alL" Ethel: "N-nor commit s-suicide, George?" George: "Not on your life." Ethel: "Nor resolve never to love another woman?" George: "Well, I should say not. What do you take me for?" Ethel: "Humph! I'll take you for better or worse, George—kiss me." A shadow flitted across her face; tears gathered in her eyes. It's positively wicked in me," she exclaimed, to be purchasing so tnuch costly experience for myself when dear Alfred does so need a new straw hat!" With that she rose hurriedly and left the auction, although at the moment there was being offered for sale a chair worth ten shillings and the highest bid only a pound. In a carriage on a Scottish railway sat a number of gentlemen on the way to business in Glasgow. Conspicuous in the company were two-one an old man with a very bald head, and the other a young fellow with a great crop of red hair, whose fiery hue would outrival the setting sun. When well on their way most 01 the travellers put down their newspapers and began to yawn and look out lazily, awaiting the arrival of the train at their destination. Tiring of this prosaic silence, the young man with the red hair selected, the old man as the butt of his wit. I say," he remarked, rudely. Nature surely had no hair in stock when you were made?" She had, sir, she had," replied the old man; but it was all red, and I would not have any of it!" "And are the divorce laws so very liberal in your section?" Liberal? Say! They are so liberal that nobody ever heard of a woman crying at a wedding out there." Young Journalist: I would like to have some advice as to how to run a newspaper. Veteran Editor: Sorry, my lad; you've come to the wrong person. I am only the editor of this paper. Better consult one of my sub. scribers. Maud: Jack and I were out driving last night, and I had to drive all the way. Clara: Why, what was the matter with Jack? Maud: Nothing. You don't suppose he could drive with his feet, do you? Merchant (to applicant for position): Hava you had any experience as entry clerk?" "I have indeed, sir." "Where?" "At my last place, sir, in a boarding-house. I stood in the entry to keep fellows from stealing the boarders' hats, sir." A gentleman and his dog were walking along the street, when the dog jumped up and licked the face of a lady who was passing. The gentle- man at once apologised by saying, Madam, 1 deeply regret my dog's bad manners, but I can- not but admire his good taste."

THE NEW WOMAN AND THE OLD It has been the fashion the last year or two to talk largely of the New Woman, as if it were previously an unheard-of thing that women should emulate men in art, science, or explora- tion; but that this is an entire mistake a few instances will conclusively prove. An astronomer almost as eminent as the great Sir William Herschel himself was his sister, Caroline Lucretia. Herschel, who was born 147 years ago. on the 16th of March, 1750. Many of the comets, nebula;, and clusters of stars mentioned in her brother's catalogue were described from her original observations; and in 1828 she was awarded the g:)ld medal of the Astronomical Society. Amongst the very first batch of the forty Royal Academicians was Angelica Kauffmann, born on the 30th of October, 1741, who became famous as a painter of classic and mythological pictures and as a portrait painter, and was be- friended by Sir Joshua Reynolds. A woman explorer accompanied the famous Bougainville expedition in 1766. She went dis- guised as a man, having taken the name of g Charles Thomas Barr. and acted as servant to the botanist of the expedition.

A PORTABLE RAILWAY. Germany's latest military device is a port- able or field electric railway. This is a track consisting of easily trans- ported rail frames, made of two rails of the usual field railway profile and connected together by several crossbars, the middle cross- bar extending a few inches beyond the rails on either side. To its ends is bolted an iron yoke, or frame, in shape an inverted U. the top of which is high enough to be well clear of the car. The overhead conductor is supported at the centre of the upper horizontal part of the yoke, the yokes are placed closer together at curves, and at the sharpest curves it may be necessary to fit every rail frame with a yoke, in order to keep the overhead conductor sufficiently near the centre of the track. For running the trolley wire a special truck been devised. On it are a pair of ladders, lean- ing toward each other, and between them, on the floor of the truck, is a reel containing wire, and it the top, i,here their upper ends meet, is supported a guide pulley. By means of this truck a long field line can be run out in a surprisingly short space of time.