BIRD'S I CUSTARD POWDER As an article of Diet. unrivalled for nutriment and delicacy of flavour. Dr. NANSEN'S crew consumed the whole of a five years supply in no more than three years. I
AMBER" ALL —— ALES & STOUT m CASK and BOTTLE SHEPT0H MALLET. STORES i PENARTH ROAD, Xy CARDIFF.
PUBLIC AMUSEMENTS. CARDIFF. fpHEATRE JJOYAL. Lessee and Manageress.Mrs. Edward Fletcher. Theatre Telephone. 362. THE ANNUAL "ROYAL" 17TH PANTOMIME. The Theatre will Remain CLOSED until FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24th, 1897 (XMAS EVE). When Mrs. EDWARD FLETCHER has the honour to announce THE GORGEOUS XMAS jp ANTOMIME, Written exclusively, entirely, expressly, and completely for the THEATRE ROYAL, CAR- DIFF, by Messrs. GIm RUE THORNE (the inimitable Comedian of the D'Oyly Carte Optra Companies) and F. GROVE PALMER, entitled- JJOBINfcON CRUbUE. MORNING PERFORMANCES MONDAY, Dec. 27 (Boxin2 Day;, i'UESDAY, Dec. 28, 1897, SATURDAY. Jan. 1. 1898. And Every Saturday until further notice at Two p.m. Early Doors at 1. Ordinary at 1.30. Additional Matinees will be announced in due course. The Company includes the following well- known Pantomime Artistes:- Miss Florrie Robina Mr. Tom Wallace Miss Barry Eldon Mr. William Benson Sisters Maude and Mr. Walter Stanton Lydie Montrose Mr. H. M. Clifford Sisters Kitty and Mr. J. W. Bradbury Jessie Burnett Mr. Carl von Benzon Miss Ernestine Walters Wee Johnny Miss Annie McBlane Mr. Arthur Ricketts Miss Charlotte The Evremond Troupe Hamilton Miss Nellie Sheffield And Specially-selected Chorus of 50 Trained Voices. Specialities by the Rose and Royal Quartettes, Atalanta, Skatinella and Delilia, Sibb and Slbb. the Lavender TrGupe of Bicyclists, the SISTERS NELSON, Lady Acrobats (first appearance in England), &c. EDISON'S PROJECTOSCOPE, the latest triumph of science, showing LIFE-SIZE Living Pictures of Local and General Interest. The Pantomime produced under the Stage Direction of Mr. E. EDMONDS the Entire Pro- duction being under the personal supervision of Mr. EDWARD FLETCHER. NOTICE.—During the Pantomime Season the Curtain will rise at 7 precisely-Overture at 6.45. Prices as usual. Early Doors Open at 6.0, 6d. Extra. Doors Open 6.30. Commence 7. Booking Offices at Messrs. Thompson and Shackell's (Limited), Queen-street, from 10 till 4. Telephone 521. 57249 RA N D THEATRE G Lessee & Manager, MR. CLARENCE SOUNES NOTICE.—The Theatre will be Closed until Boxing Day, Dec. 27, when will be Produced Mr. Clarence Sounes' Fourth Grand Xma.s Annual, JJOBINSON RUS0 E' By the Original Leopolds and their Grand Double Company of Pantomimists, making the strogest combination ever seen in the Principality. Pantomime pricesGrand Circle, 3s.; Stalls and Balcony, 2s.; Pit, Is.; Gallery. 6d. Sec-end Price at 9 o'clock. Early doors extra. Doors open 6.45. commence 7. Early doors 6. Box Office now open at Mr. R. Lane's, 3, Duke- Btreet. 57389 UCTORIA-ROOMS, ST. MARY- V STREET, CARDIFF.-D'ARC'S GRAND WAXWORKS.—Great Christmas Attractions and New Additions; all the latest and best. The Oldest Established Waxworks in Cardiff. The Madame Tussaud's of Wales.—Admission: —3d.; Children, 2d. Also Open on Christmas Day. 2660z22 g T I L L BOOM ING ELABORATE AND ARTISTIC PORTRAIT ENLARGEMENTS FOR THE READERS OF THhi "WESTERN MAIL." TAKE IT AT ONCE OR YOU MAY BE TOO LATE. WE CAN ONLY SUPPLY A LIMITED NUMBER. THE CELEBRATED JNDAO J30RTRAITS FINISHED IN CRAYON AND INDIA INK, BY the "AIR BRUSH" PROCESS. The Most Artistic and Permanent Portraits Now Produced. PRICE, SIX SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE. TRESE BEAUTIFUL ENLARGEMENTS MEASURE 24 BY 19 INCHES OUTSIDE A TINTED SUNK MOUNT. .'a^eral Hundred Complimentary Letters have been received ironi reuu- rs who lui, v e taken .Advantage of this unique offer. Writing from Newport, a gentleman says: — "Please send another entargement. Exceedmgly pleased with the one I received a fortnight ago. From Llanelly;—"Portrait safely received, and I am highly pleased with it. Please find P.O. for 10s herewith, and forward as early as possible frame No. 28i." From Merttiyr:Am delighted with the portrait Please send No 62 frame." From Neath:—"I have received the enlarge- ment from photo. and im very pletscd with eame. I now enclose cheque 20s.. being the price of one of yonr best lraraes." From Ebbw Vale;—"The enlarged Photos came to hand yesterday, and may say I am very pleased with them. I want a pair of frames, and I will thank you to send two tolid oak frames. No 22 Money enclosed." We could fill a couple of columns, but the above will give some idea of the satisfaction these pictures are giving. VjlHE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME. These Pictures, if ordered through artists, would cost Irom two to four guineas, but we are offering them to you at Six Shillings tuid Sixpence. Have no fear of losing your small picture; it will be returned in as good order af received. Have you FATHER, MOTHER. SISTER BROTHER, or CHILD'S PHOTO that you wish «n!-irsre;l—perhaps some dear one who has passed away. whose likeness is now fading, and should bo preserved before it is too late? We will enlarge and oopy it into a beautifal portrait for you. S HALL WE MAKE YOURS. You will get an unheard-of bargain by availing yourself of this grand offer, and wo are glad to be able to give it to you. We can copy from any ohotos. large or small, tin-types, or any kind of glass picture We copy all pictures bust style—head and shoulders only. IMPORTANT.—NAME AND ADDRESS MUST BE WRITTEN ON BACK OF EACH PHOTO SENT. 62203 PUBLIC AMUSEMENTS. CARDIFF. 'Tis not in mortals to command success, but we'll do more-deserve it." THE E M P IRE. Managing Director OSWALD STOLL. TO-NIGHT 1 THE DAIRY MAID, A Comical, Musical, Rustic Sketch enacted by MISS GRACE BOND. MISS M. MONTGOMERY, MISS KATE REEVES, ALEC G. PEARSON. WALTER EMRO, EDWIN KEENE, And 12 CHARMING LADY DANCERS 12 PERMANE'S COMIC BEARS, Animals of Remarkable Entertaining Powers. PROFESSOR DUNNING, Ventriloquist. THE WEBSTERS, Comedy People. KENNEDY AND FOY, Two American Comedians, whose jokes go down. MISS NELLY NAVETTE, A Dancer of Exceptional Skill. DUNNING AND KAHN, In Manifestations of Magic. The Inimitable FRANK, WILLIE, and ALBERT BOISSET TROUPE, In "THE BRICKLAYERS." Next Week: — "JOLLYBOY'S JUBiLEE," A Xmas Rib-tickler. Box Office open daily from 10 to 4; Saturdays, 10 to 1. Also from 7 to 10 each evening for book- ings for subsequent dates. Two Complete Performances Every Evening between 7 and 9 and 9 and 11. IPHILHARMONIO HALL, ST. MARY-STREET, CARDIFF. ONE WEEK ONLY. BOXING DAY, -) THREE TIMES MONDAY, December 27th, ( DAILY. and At 12.30, 4 o'clock, TUESDAY, December 28th ) and 8 o'clock. And on WEDNESDAY, December 29. THURSDAY, December 30. TWICE DAILY. FRIDAY, December 31. }• At 3 o'clock and 3 and I o'clock. SATURDAY, January l.J Complete Representation in Animated Pictures on the Veriscope of the CORBETT AND FITZSIMMONS FIG H T For Fifty Thousand Dollars. 65,000 PHOTOGRAPHS AND TWO MILES OF FILMS Pass before the eyes of the spectators, re-producing THE ENTIRE FIGHT As it took place at Carscn City, Nevada, on March 17th, 1897, a special State Law having been passed to permit it. NOTICE.—This is the Original Exhibition which has attained such phenomenal success at the ROYAL AQUARIUM, LONDON, AND WILL NOT APPEAR ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE DISTRICT. The Public are Cautioned against Counter- feits and Colourable Imitations. Prices of Admission:—Circle, 2s. 6d.; Stalls, Is. 6d.; Pit and Balcony, ls. 57426 NEWPORT. THE E M P IRE. Managing Director OSWALD STOLL. TO-NIGHT! A SPANISH BULLFIGHT AND PANORAMA OF JERUSALEM On the S.O. CINEMATOGRAPHE. PALLES and CUSSICK, The Laughable Burlesque Men. MDLLE. EMMY'S FOX TERRIERS On Electrical Apparati. Varieties by other Artistes. L~Y~C E UM~ N E~W~P O R T M Proprietor.MR. CLARENCE SOUNES THIS EVENING, AT 7.30, ARIZONA JOE'S COMPANY, THE JJLACK TTTAWKS. Prices 6d. to £1 Is. Box Office open Daily Ten to Four. Telephone 158. Nat. Next Week: The Successful Comic Opera, "LA POUPER." 55694 CHRISTMAS ANNOUNCEMENTS. XMAS PRESEN TS WHAT MORE USEFUL PRESENT THAN A SEWING MACHINE, WASHING MACHINE, WRINGER, MANGLE, MAIL CART, PERAMBULATOR, BABY'S FOLDING CHAIR, FOLDING CRADLE, or COT? WHAT COULD PLEASE THE CHII DREN BETTER THAN A DOLL'S PERAMBULATOR, DOLL'S MAIL CART, ROCKING HORSE, TRICYCLE HORSE, EXPRESS WAGON, WHEELBARROW, Or SWING? A nice Rug fcr the Perambulator or Mail Cart wonid be a very acceptable present at this time of the year. All these are to be obtained in great variety at SPENCER S BABY CARRIAGE WAREHOUSE, jgT- JOHN'S £ JHURCH-OQUARE CARDIFF °7347 Alortimer's Mixture For Cfoup. Whooping Cough. Coughs, & Colds Of all Chemlsta. Price. 1/1M THE EVENING EXPRESS CAN BE OBTAINED EVERY NIGHT OF THE FOLLOWING NEWSAGENTS- CENTRAL.- SEYMOUR, WOOD-STREET. MRS. DENISON, 7, WOOD-STREET. HELLIER, BRIDGE-STREET. J. JAMES, 31, BRIDGE-STREET. E. GILLARD, 5, CAROLINE-STREET. BAKER, THE HAYES. J. HOGG, QUEEN-STREET. CANTON— EVANS, LOWER CATHEDRAL-RO\D RICHARDS, LOWER OATHEDRAL- ROAD. DOWN, POST. OFFICE, CLARE- STREET. REES, 55, COWBRIDGE ROAD. DOWN. POST-OFFICE, COWBRIDGE- ROAD. HUGHES, 64, COWBRIDGE-ROAD. KNOWLES, 102, COWBRIDGE-ROAD. LEWIS, 152, COWBRIDGE-ROAD. BAKER, 166, COWBRIDGE-ROAD- WILSON. 194. COWBRIDGE-ROAD. RIORDAN, 212, COWBRIDGE-ROAD. ROUND, 3, KING'S ROAD. WEBB. 13, KING'S ROAD. W. T. CLEVES. ROMILLY NEWS- AGENCY, SEVERN-ROAD. WILSON, 12, CLIVE-ROAD. SMITH and CO.. ATLAS-ROAD. W. WHITE, la, SEVERN-ROAD. < BOATH EVANS, 47. ALBANY-ROAD. TALBOT, 52. BROADWAY. ROBERTS, 28, BROADWAY. FLEMING. 61, BROADWAY. MORGAN, 119, BROADWAY. WHITE, 120, BROADWAY. REES. 49, METAL-STREET. THOMAo, 3, CLIFTON-STREET. ROPKE, 16, PEARL-STREET. D. F. MORRIS, 209, RICHMOND nOAD. LOCKE, 8, MACKINTOSH-PLACE. LA^ivLXCE, 14. CASTLE-ROAD. ROWLEDGE. 78. CASTLE-ROAD. PADFIELD, CASTLE-ROAD. DAY AGE, CASTLE-ROAD. MUMFORD, CASTLE-ROAD. MRS. KING, 7. CASTLE-ROAD. ELLIOTT, BANGOR-ROAD. CATHAYS.- WILLIS 14, MUNDY-PLACE. A. HANCOX, 80, SALISBURY-ROAD. STODDARD. 55, UPPER GEORGE STREET. ROSS, 49. LETTY-STREET. C. STEVENS, 136, WOODVILLE- ROAD. WILLIAM GREGORY, 7, THE HEATH. W. GREGORY, 7, ALLAN'S BANK- ROAD. DOCKS— RUSSE1.L. STUART-STREET. J. SWAGE. 150. BUTE-STREET, TYLER, 38, BUTE-STREET. SALTMEAD.- JOHN, 58, CLARE-ROAD. I Å GENTS CONTINUED. GEANGETOWF.— PARSONS, G. W., HAIRDRESSER, PENARTH-ROAD. "THE DON," 140, PENARTH-ROAD. SHELDRICK, 1, AMHERST-STREET. HART. 49, HOLMESDALE-STREET. MISS J. FRANCIS, 142, PAGET- STREET. NEWTOWN— FISHER, 2, ADAM-STREET. DA VIES. 29, ADAM STREET. XOORS.- C. W. HUTCHINS, CARLISLE. STREET. FLEMING, SPLOTT-ROAD. MORGAN, 18, PORTMANMOOR- ROAD. THOMAS DAVIES. NOAH'S ARK, PORTMANMOOR-ROAD. HIVERSIDE-— MRS. LONG, ELDON-ROAD. TURNER, 68, ELDON-ROAD. THOMAS, TUDOR-ROAD. MRS. THOMAS, TUDOR-ROAD. A. E. MATHER. 58, TUDOR-ROAD. A. BLUCERT, 89. TUDOR-ROAD. ELY- PITTARD. LLANDAFF.- Mrs. WOOD. ST. PAGAN'S'— MILDON. WHITCHURCH. REYNOLDS. LLANISHEIT.— Mrs. ROBINSON. COGAtt.- GODFREY. JOSEPHS. PENAETH— MRS. PASEY. GLEBE-STREET. HALL, GLEBE-STREET. BABBYi— F. C. MILNER, POST-OFFICE, HIGH- STREET. BEDINGFIELD AND CO., NEWS- AGENTS, &o. BA.RRY DOCK— W. H. SMITH AND SON, RAILWAY BOOKSTALL. COUZENS, THOMPSON-STREET. T. EVANS, HOLTON-ROAD. D. JONES, BARRY DOCK POST. OFFICE. CADOXTON.- E. TOWNSEND, BARRY-ROAD. F. FAIRBAIRN, 55, VERE-STREET. TREFOREST.- RICHARDS- HILL. BA.RRY ISLAND— T. POWELL. ALL SMIT H & SON'S BOOKST ALLS. i r • in • i_ « i j. :—i. PREPAID ADVERTISEMENT. "EVENING ÈXPRESS." ONCK. TKREB SIX TIMES. TIMES 0 Words 0 6 1 0 16 30 Words 0 9 16 2 40 Words 1 0 2 0 3 0 50 Words 3 3 0 3 6 Notice to Advertisers. IMPORTANT.—Advertisements to be classified must reach this office by 10.30 a.m.; but they can bo inserted up to 4.45 p.m., under head- ing of TOO LATE FOR CLASSIFICATION. The boxes provided for answers to Advertise- ments appearing in the ''Evening Express" are not intended for any other purpose whatever, and cannot be allowed to be used for Lhe distribution oi printed or written advertising circular or announcements of any. kind. The above cuarges apply only to consecutive insertions of thp following class of advertise- ments:—Situations Wanted or Offered, Apart- ments. Money Wanted, Partnerships. Lost and Found. Miseellftinnris Wants Ptisinesses, Honses. Shops. Offices to Let or Sell, Specific Articles for Sale Privately. Name and Address to be counted. Orders sent through the post, to be accom- panied by Postal Order or Halfpenny Stamps. Advertisements are received also Cot the following srib-offlces: — NEWPORT TEET>F(rA'R-RT'RFET SWANSEA CASTLE-STEEET MERTHTK VICTORIA-STREET. PONTYPRIDD 4a. TAFF-STREET. HEAD OFFICES: CARDIFF: ST. MARY-STREET. POULTRY. POULTRY.—If you want your birds to pav -L you write for prices and samples of food to Noah Rees and Son, Hay, Corn. and Seed Merchants. Cardiff. e6115 BICYCLES. SPECIAL Clearance.—Six Solid Safeties, kJ 38s. 6d.; 4 Cushions, 60s.; 4 Pneumatics, £ 5; cash only.-Morris Bros., Cycle Works, Ponty- pridd. Repairs, Platiuj, and enamelling promptly. e!947 DRESSMAKING, I DRESSMAKING.—Ladies' Tailor-made and Braid Costumes. Wadding and Evening Dresses. Mantles, Ac., Made in the Latest Style; fit guaranteed.-Address Lewis and Evans, 78, Wyndham-crescent, Cardiff. e5836 MISCELLANEOUS. I TOBACCONISTS Commencing.—See Illustrated T Guide (259 pages;, 3d.—Tobacconists' Out- fitting Company, 186. lSuston-road, London. Hairdressers fitted. Manager, Henry Myers. el0566d EARTHENWARE- and China.-Seconds £ 2 Crates; best £ 3; or will send IS dozen Seconds Articles for 17s. 6d. Write for Lists.- Webbe and Co., Longton, Staffordshire Pot- teries. e6034 IS Tour Watch Wrong? The Best and Cheapest Shop in Cardiff for the Repair of Watches of every description, English or Foreign, is 38, Castle Arcade (third shop from Castle-street), by James Keir, for ten years with Mr Spiridion. Clocks and Music Boxes Cleaned and Repaired. e4209 MISCELLANEOUS LALES. FOR Sale, large-sized Kennel, in excellent con- dition, cheap; can be seen any time; no use to present owner.—Apply A 1, Evening Express, Cardiff. e6546 1 000 Business Cards. Memorandums, or Bill- i heads, 3s.; 10,000 Useful Handbills, 2s. 6d.: samples free.-Fisher and Co., Machine Printers, Broadmead. Bristol. e4418 FIREWOOD at Cardiff Union Workhouse, 2s. per Cwt.; delivered in any part of the borough.—Orders to Master, Workhouse. e6574 LARGE Assortment oi Christmas Cards Now on View.—Stationery Department, Wes- tern Mail, Cardiff. e53430 PARLOUR Games, Is., post free; Obstacle i. Race, Quoits, Japanese Billiarcte, Chinese Bagatelle, and the Latest Novelty. "The Penalty Kick Table FootbalL-Stationery Department, Western Mail. Cardiff. e50430 '^O'J Thick Buff Copying Sheets; extra strong; O specially adapted for typewritten letters; letter-size, 2s.; foolscap. 2a. 6d.—Stationery Department. Western Mail, Cardiff. 50430 SIXTY Years a Queen.—Part I. Now Ready; C3 6d., postage 2d.—Western Mail Limited, Cardiff. INVOICE and Letter Files. All the leadir,cc stvles.—"The Sequence File," "The Warwick File," "The Standard File," "The Common- sense File "—Stationery Department. Western Mail. Cardiff. 50430 "QAVE Time" Letter Cards, 25 for 4td.. post O free; an improvement on the Govern- ment card.-Stationery Department, Western Mail. Cardiff. 50430 THE "Handy" Book Marker, 3d., post, free.— Stationery Department, Western Mail, Cardiff. 50430 lLB. Cream Notepaner and 100 Envelopes, is., -L in Two Sizes, Private or Commercial.— Stalbnery Department, Western Mail. Cardiff. MILKSELLER'S Delivery Book, Is.— stationery Department, Western Mail, Cardiff. 50430 THE New Game, Table Football, Is., uost free.—Stationery Department, Western Mail. Cardiff 50430- ADHESIVE Linen, Tape for Repairine Music, .*c., 3d., post free, per roll.—Stationery Department, Western Mail, Cardiff. 50430 AUTOMATIC Constant Level Inkstand; Is. 2d., A post free.—Stationery Department, Wes- tern Mail, Cardiff. 50430 1 000 Page Letter Copying Book; half l.ound > calf, 5s.; special line.—Western Mail Sta- ticrery Department, Western Mail, Cardiff. mHE "Trvpograph" Copying Apparatus; pro- X duces thousands of copies from one hand- writing or tvpewriting.—Price list on applica- tion to Western Mail Stationery Bepartmant, Cardiff. 50430 r +Vio "A" Af +h", u-inc1v mnnstpr n.s miiolflv r APARTMENTS TO LET. LARGE Front Sitting-room, One or Two Be$» rooms, with or without board; close t# town and stations.-9, Park-place, Cardiff. zM OO Charles-street, Cardiff.—First-class Apart* ments; central, near stations, tramsu good cooking and attendance. 2514z?.4 FIRST Class Apartments—Drawing-room ani One or Two Bedrooms.—56, Cathedral-roai (close to Park Entrance), Cardiff. 2491z23 PENARTH.—Lansdowne Private Hotel; extend P sive Channel view; superior accommoda- tion; moderate qhai geg; special terms to per- manent boarders. 2803d I in .gag SHOP ASSISTANTS WANTED. A DVERTISERS are Cautioned that Post- masters are Not Allowed to Deliver Letters Addressed to Initials or Fictitious Names at any Post-office. Letters addressed to Initials or Fictitious Names must bear the address of the Advertiser or one of the Offices of the Western Mail. WANTED immediately, by Tondu Co-opera- tive Society, Manager. Grocery and Boots; 160 members; Welsh necessary; state salary and experience.—Apply, by 29th inst., Secretary, Co-operative Society, Aberkenfij R-S;0- 2687z24 GROCERY.—Wanted, to Manage Branch; must have exceptionally good references. Als<| good Provision Hand.-Apply, stating age antt salary, Knoyle, Llanelly. 2676z29 BOOT and Shoe Department.—Wanted, good Saiesman for Boot Department; thoroughly experienced; one abie to execute own repairs and take charge.-Apply Co-operative, Cross Keys. 57423 SHARP and willing Boy Wanted for Counter. S -Apply 59, Tudor-street, Cardiff. 2642z23 WANTE*D immediately, thoroughly expe- rienced Ynung >ien for Drapery and Dresses.—Apply W. Edwards, Draper, Swan- sea. 2628z28 C^HOOLA Tea Ccmpany.—Vacancy for smart J Youth, 17, some experience, or Apprentice, without premium; Penarth. Also Lad. out- doors; good openings. 2607z28 DRAPERY.—Wanted, Two Young Men, im- mediately after Christmas, Flannel and Linen Departments; about six years' expe- rience; medium trade; permanency.-Roberts, 86-90, St. John's-road, Clapham Junction, London, S.W. 2615z27 GROCERIES.—Wanted at once, Young Man Well Up in Groceries; good wages to good man.—Apply Davies, National Stores, Barry Dock. 2597z22 LEWIS LEWIS r.nd Co., Swansea, have L Vacancies for Two experienced Young Men for the Clothing Department; Welsh; personal application preferred. 2579z22 WANTED immediately, pushing Salesman for Boot Department; good window-dresser and stock-keeper; one competent to overlook repairer.—State age, wages, &c. (outdoors). Manager. Co-operative Society, Abertillery. [z24 GROCERS.—Wanted, smart up-to-date Junior immediately after Christmas.—Rampore Tea Company, 2, Commercial-street, Newport, Mon. 2543z24 GROCERY and Provisions.—Wanted imme- diately after Xmas, Single All-round Assistant; willing, quick, and obliging.-Full particulars first letter, Young. Barry. 2510z23 GROCERY a.nd Provisions—Wanted, good C- Junior, at once.—Apply Heal, Salisbury- road, Cardiff. 2442z22 CLERKS, etc., WANTED. ADVERTISERS are Cautioned that post- masters are Not Allowed to Deliver Letters Addressed to Initials or Fictitious Names at any Post-office. Letter? addressed to Initials or Fictitious Names must bear the address of the Advertiser or one of the Offices of the Western Mail. RESPECTABLE Boy Wanted for Office Work; hours 5.30 p.m. till '.11.30 p.m.—Apply at once, Advertisement Counter, Western Mail Office, Cardiff. 57427 OFFICE Boy Wanted; able to write short- hand.—Apply, bv letter, with references, to J. Trevethan, 20, Working-street, Cardiff. z24 (1IVIL Service Appointments.—Numerous J Vacancies and Good SalM-ies; brilliant successes May, 1897; passed 604 last year; full particulars free—Mr. Skerry, 4.A., Y.M.C.A., Bristol. f 7420 OFFICE Boy Wanted at once.—Apnlv, between 10.30 and 11 To-day (Wednesday), at Adver- tisement Counter, Western Mail Office, Car- diff. 57390 JUNIOR Clerk Wanted in Office at Docks; must write a good hand and be quick at figures.—Address, stating age, present employ- ment. and wages, to L 53, caije of Lennox, Docks, Cardiff. 2626zZ3 POSTAL Telegraph Clerk HFemale) Wanted, for January 1st; understand single needle; live in.-L 52, Western Mail, Cardiff. 262Jz23 Pupil Wanted in the Office of Civil and AMining Engineer.—Apply L 43, Western Mail, Cardiff. 2575z27 Pi .—An Income of 12s. 6d. to £ 1 per Week c&JL Can be Earned in Spare Hours or Even- ings by Either Sex who can Write.-Proof sent free anywhere to anyone sending self-addressed envelope to T. Smith and Go. (Department 9 B), 79, St. Helen's-gardens. North Kensington, Lon- don. L12562 CLERKS, etc., WANT PLACES. ADVERTISER Wishes Re-engagement as General Clerk (knowledge of shorthand and book-keeping) in Solicitor's in Cardiff; highest references.—L 28, Western Mail, Cardiff. z22 AGENTS, etc., WANTED. A DVERTISERS are Cautioned that Post- A. masters are Not allowed to Deliver Letters Addressed to Initials or Fictitious names at any Post-office. Letters addressed to Initials or Fic- titious Names must bear the address of the Advertiser of one of the Offices of the Western Mail. CANVASSERS.-Wanted., a Few intelligent, C well-educated Men, principally for Evening Wcrk.—Apply, by letter, or between nine and ten a.m., to S. Hern, 94, St. Mary-street, Car- diff el0571z27 WANTED. Agents for South Wales, Exley's Acetylene Automatic Gas Installation.— Original patentees and makers, Exley and Co., Byram-street, Huddersfield. 2659z29_ WOOLLENS.—Messrs. John Fisher and Sons, W Huddersfield, are Open to Engage Repre- sentative for South Wales and Part West of England.—Address first place Norton Pearce, Aberthaw House. Barry. 2641z23 A A WANTED, an energetic Agent who Under- stands the Business, and is in touch with Principal Confectioners and Buyers, to Represent Us in Cardiff, Newport, and Dis- tricts.—Apply. giving full particulars, to Baker and Co., Wholesale Manufacturing Confec- tioners, Cork. 2614z24 AN energetic Man, with some spare time, is Wanted; a good and constant income is assured to suitable man.—Address L 45, Wes- tern Mail, Cardiff. 2572z27 A GENTS Wanted Everywhere, Canvassing A Shops, Hotels, and Principal Families, in Town and Country; liberal commission and salary: good reference.-Apply, by letter, U 12, Western Mail Offices, Swansea. 2498z23 WANTED, by a Firm of Brewers, a good Traveller, with experience in Carmar- thenshire, Pembrokeshire, and Cardiganshire Districts; good salary; references required.— Address L 31. Western Mail, Cardiff. 57315 I the Drosnpnh of hav-inc Pliil Snmlilpcrwa.
/Esop Illustrated. THE WOLF AND THE KID.
NURSEMAIDS AND SERVANTS WANTED. WANTED, an experienced General Servant; r, no washing.—Apply Mrs. William Jones, 14. Oakfield-street, Itoath, Cardiff. 2673z29 CARDIFF Union.—Ely Schools—Wanted at C once, an experienced Kitchenmaid; wages £12, rising to jE15, subject to Poor-law rules.- Apply to the Matron. 57373 G1 OOD Plain Cook Wanted; £ 30; four ladies; r kitchenmaid kept; quiet situation. House- maid; £ 20.-92, St. Michael's-hill, Bristol, r.29 EXPElilENCFir Cook-General Wanted ;g^d 20 to 30; business house (not a registry-); wage3 £ 14.—Mrs. Ellison, West Bromwich, Staffordshire. 2681 z29 EXPERIENCED Cook-General Wanted, for I London; washing put out; £ 20; comfort- 1 able situation; private family; two others kept; fare paid—71, Park-street, Bristol. z29 WANTED, good Plain Cook; single-handed: family two; £ 28. Also experienced House-Parlourmaid; £:;2; assistance given; small house.-71, Park-street. Bristol. 2694z29 WANTED at once, General Servant; aged about 19.—Mrs. Harrington, 216, Mackin- tosh-place, Cardiff. 2645z23 TXTANTED at onco, Laundress; well accus- V f tomed to' shirts and collars; good glcsser; constant work —Apply Laundry, Wes- tern Mail, Newport. 2691z24_^ ANTED, Cooks, Housemaids, Ilarlour- VT maids. Great Many General Servants, Nurses immediately.—Mrs. Pedle" s Registry, 17, Pembroke-terrace, Cardiff (late of Charles- street). 2644z28 EXPERIENCED General Servant Wanted. E After Christmas; able to cook, wash, and iron.—Apply, with references, Mrs. Richards, 23, Parade, Barry. 2621z28 WANTED, Cook-General and Housemaid for Small Family, about middie January; good references required; good wages.- Mrs. Pearson, Brunswick House, Bradford- place, Penarth. 2623z23 WANTED, General; good plain cook; over 20; no children; references.—Apply Mrs. Williamson, 15, Glynrhondda-street. Cardiff. z23 ANTED, Itfeginning January, good General W Servant for Small Family; nurse kept; good wages to capable girl.—Bellingham, Wood- lands Villas, Swansea. 2632z23 WANTED immediately after Christmas, a t. f respectable and experienced General Ser- yant -17. Howard-gardens, Cardiff. 2625z28 WANTED, after Christmas, experienced rV Cook-General; good wages.—Apply Mrs. Wilson, Heathcliff, Plymouth-road, Penarth. 2563z27 HOUSE Parlourmaid Wanted, in January, -H for Ccuntry Situation; state age, wages; must have good references—Mrs. Brain, Caerau, near Cardiff. 2569z27 WANTED, experienced General, not under 25; plain cooking, little washing, quiet country place; family two.—Mrs. Davies, Goytre Rectory, Abergavenny. 2571z27 REQUIRED at once, experienced General Servant; must have good references; aged not under 25.—Apply, wages required, 85, Cathedral-road. Cardiff. 2539z24 GENERAL Servant, Wanted for January 2nd, not under 20. Able to Do Plain Cooking; housemaid kept; large washing out; wages JE16. —Mrs. Jones, 28, Victoria-road, Penarth. z22 SELECT Registry Office. Brynmill Post-Office, S Swansea.—Miss Jones has Vacancies for gocd Servants in All Departments. Ladies Quickly Suited. 1827d 'WA.N,MD imniediately. a good General Ser- >T vant; able to wash, iron, and do plain cooking.-Apply Mrs: Powell, De Winton Hotel, Tonypandy. 2689z29 WANTED immediately, a good Cook.—Apply Talbot Hotel, Newport. 2542z28 WANTED, gpod Woiking Barmaid at once, with reference from last place.—Apply to Mrs. Griffiths, Navigation Hotel, Merthyr Vale. Mrs. Griffiths, Navigation Hotel, Merthyr Vale. J663z27 NURSEMAIDS AND SERVANTS WANT PLACES. EXPERIENCED Maid; good plain dressmaker, hairdresser, and packer; good reference; comfortable situation valued more than high wages.-Address Moore, Brecon. 2664z24 A S General (after Christmas); cook, wash, iron, il wait; strong and healthy; long character £ 12.—Annie, 9, Radnor-road, Canton, Cardiff. 2557z21 SITUATION Wanted as House or Kitchen k) Maid, early in January; honest, clean, willing; aged 20; good reference.—Apply E. David, Post-office, Abergavenny. 2523z24 LADIES Suited with All Classes of Servants; L Situations Secured for Servants. Fee, ls>— Miss Walters, 30, Page-street, Swansea. z23 COOKS, Housemaids. Parlourmaids Kitchen- maids, Generals always Disengaged. Ladies suited daily.—Mrs. Stuart, Queen-street Registry. 2, Frederick-street (near corner Queen- street), Cardiff. 2482z23 GOOD General Disengaged; aged 22; two years' very good character; can cook well; good-class servant.-Maggie, 92, St. Michael's-hill. Bristol. 2474z22 MISCELLANEOUS SITUATIONS VACANT. WANTED immediately, Non-Union Iron Moulders; top wages paid for first-class men -Only good men need apply to Stothert and Pitt (Limited), Bath. e6609 WANTED, Youth as Grocer's Haulier; gene- rally useful.—State wage, experience, Fred Evans, St. Athan, Cowbridge. 26722z27 rpo Butchers.—Wanted, Young Man to Do X Rouryl and Assist in Killing; board in, sleep out.—Apply, stating age and salary required, Russell, Swansea. 2630z28 WANTED, steady Married Man as Driver and Salesman; to take charge of stores.— Apply personally Hansard, Merthyr. 2633z23 WANTED, a young and active Man as Store- keeper in Sliip-repairing Works: must have had previous experience in same position. Also a good Man as Donkeyman; one used to tugboat preferred.—Apply, with copies of testi- monials enly, to L 35, Western Mail, Cardiff. 57334 WANTED, for Manchester District, good Non- Society Pattern Makers. Fitters, Turners, Mnchinemeft, and Blacksmiths; to good men constant work and good wages—Address, stating references and further particulars, to B 75. Wes- tern Mail. Cardiff. 55335 \\TANTED, a sharp Lad, about 15, to Clean IT Boots and Make Himself Generally Use- ful About a House.-Protheroe, Dolwilym, Hebron R.S.O., Carmarthenshire. 2666z29 WANTED, Groom-Coachman; not under 21; must ride and drive well; be well up in his work. and make himself generally useful; live in.—Apply, with references, stating wages, to D.Swansea Club. 2580z27 WANTED, a Handy Man as Groom and Gar- dener; to make himself generally useful. —U 14, Western Mail. Swansea. 2561z24 ARDENER Wanted, Willing to be Generally J" Useful; state wages, with and without house, &c.: no application considered without fullest particulars of experience, Ac.—L 33, Western Mail, Cardiff. < ji 2479z23 MISCELLANEOUS SITUATIONS WANTED. WANTED, by a strong, active Young Man, Situation as Single-handed Gardener; can be well recommended.—Full particulars on application to H. Pitt, Nurseryman. Aber- gavenny. a 2665z24 T ATE Steward Aberavon Constitutional Club 8 i wishes a Situation as Butler, Steward, or Jny Place of Trust; first-class references.— Lucas, 67, Tydraw-street. Port Talbot. 2647z23 WORKING Farm Bailiff, married, Seeks Situation; life experience n all L 44, Western Mail, Cardiff. 2574z27 BUSINESS ADDRESSES. PIONEERS OF ARTISTIC TAILORING For both Ladies and Ceqtlemen. THE West End Tailors In Duke Street, CARDIFF Who Guarantee Stylish-Fitting Garments 25 per cent. lower than local prices. Telegraphic Address: National REVOLUTION," Telephone, Cardiff. No. 834. Patterns Post Free. TOOTHEZIA REGISTERED. FOR TOOTHACHE. e6406 J AMERICAN TIENTISTRT. JLJ GENUINE & PAINLESS AMERICAN TVENTISTRY. XJ GENUINE & PAINLES THE AMERICAN DENTISTS' CO., Reg., 4, QUEEN-STREET, CARDIFF (Nextto Masters's, Corner of H. Jolui's-square). TEETH Complete Set FJLEETH QNE G UINEA Six Years' Guarantee Given With Every Case. AMERICAN TWENTISTRI. \J GENUINE &PAINLESS SPECIALISTS! SPECIALISTS Public Testimonials from Leading Doctors and Patients. THE AMERICAN DENTISTS' CO REGISTERED, 4, QUEEN-STREET, CARDIFF Next Door to Masters's, Corner St. John's-square, CONSULTATION TREE PUBLIC NOTICES. 0ARDIFF FOOTBALL CLUB OXFORD UNIVERSITY v. CARDIFF, WED NESDAY. December 22nd. Kick-off 2.30. Gatej open Two Plit. e57406 Cratie ftottres* ART DECORATORS. W DAVIS AND SON, • I'AI.VTEuS. GLASS, OIL. AND PAPER-Ii A NGING MERCHANTS, li, QUEEN-STREET, f DYEWORKS, ETC,, i IF YOU WANT YOUR CLOTHES NICELY CLEANED, GO TO HOBBS. DYER, 1. NELSON-TERRACE. FURNITURE, EVAN & COMPANY, LIMITED, THE CARL I FF FURNISHERS," ST. MARY-STREET AND DUKE-STREET. r- HATS. ARSLEY'S HAND-MADE HATS, 2s. 9d. and 3s. 9d.—15, Wyndham Arcade and 40, Caroline-str.eet. BUY FROM THE MAKER. e904 RHEUMATIC CURE, FOR FULL PARTICULARS APPLY TO PHIL PHILLIPS, 24, ST. MARY-STREET. THE GREAT BLOOD IURIFIER THOMPSONS BURDOCK PILLS Overcome the worst forms of diseases, and the foulest state oi the Blood. Stomach, Liver, and Kidneys; they go to the core of every disease, where no other medicine has power to reach. In Boxes, at Is. lid. and 2s. 9d. each. Sold by all Chemists, or from the Burdock Pill Manu- factory. 44. Oxford-street. Swansea. HT ANUFACTCEEE. HORSFORTH. OFFERS M HIS OWN GuODS DIRECT from the LOOM at MILL PRICES, viz. Serges. Fancies, Cashmeres, Biejea. Meltons, Man le Cloths. Patterns sent free cn application. Save all intermediate proi' Special Lot of Dress Meltons, all shades, at vard. Phil PhUIips' Toothachs Cure (R. For Toothache & Neuralgia. Acts Like Kagie. 1/- per Bottle, of all Chemists. Or from Sol* Manufacturer, 24, St. Diary Street, Cardiff ■ 1 J»
"BULAWATO JACK," OR LIFE AMONG THE MATABELE KOPJES. » A STORY FOUNDED ON FACT, BY RICHARD N. HALL, Author of "Gilbert Vince, Curate," "Owen Tregelles, Bank Clerk," &c. L All Rights Reserved."] SPECIALLY SET FOR THE EVENING EXPRESS. CHAPTER III. JACK VISITS BULAWAYO. 'Twas a good sixteen miles from Som- hlegwa into Bulawayo. There was a shorter cut through the Hillside property, but this Thursday, as Fletcher was not anxious to stay in Bulawayo longer than lie could possibly help, and as he was setting out earlier than usual, he chose to ride along the road from Tuli. On his way he overtook a goodly number of Dutch farmers from the Transvaal, trek- king up with their ox, mule, and donkey teams, inspanned and outspanned, to settle in the new colony of Rhodesia. But he noticed not the incidents of the road. His mind was all engrossed with the de- cision cf the previous Sunday and for the "ate in store for the letter which he carried so carefully in the breast pocket of his shirt. As he crossed the bridge by the park he saw the Union Jack flying over Lyons' News Agency, and mis aware the English mail had arrived. He was in Bulawayo only ten weeks before, but how the place was grown! Beside the electric-light stan- dards, the fire engine and traction engine were altogether novel features and lent the place quite a civilised appearance. The market square was well occupied, and the voices of the auctioneers and team-drivers rose above the general hum of business. He off-saddled, having sold the last of his mealies for a good figure, and ordered a supply of provisions for the farm, and set off for the post. It was mail-day and the Poste Restante was crowded, and what a study in human nature it provided. A mass of settlers, -0.- miners, and youths, all dressed alike in the colonial garb, waiting their turns to inquire for letters from home! "What name?" calls out the clerk. "Johnson," eagerly responds the inquirer. Down are reached the letters from the pigeon-hole marked "J." The clerk runs through the pile while anxiously and nervously watched by the would-be receiver of a letter. "No letter this mail," observes the clerk. "Are you certain? Would you mind looking once more P" The clerk obligingly com- plies and again runs through the pile, but with the same result, and the inquirer, downcast and disappointed, goes outside under the veranda to collect his thoughts. He, perhaps, has been disappointed many weeks in succession, but he will wait till next week and try again. How many in Bulawayo one sees every Thursday who are thus doomed to disappointment! And some are painful incidents. But the settler, whose expectations are fulfilled, how happy he is as he clutches his treasure! And outside the office one can plainly read in his face the fact of his having heard from home. John Fletcher's turn came at last. "Yes, there's a letter for you. Been lying here two months. Newspapers not sorted yet. I'll put your's in the Hope Fountain bag and so you needn't wait." Fletcher tore off the envelope before he reached the door. it was from an old chum at Bath, and one sentence caught his eye. "Phil has owned up to the forgery and been forgiven. All is being kept private. He must see you, and talks of sailing in a fortnight's time in the 'Norman.' He says he can't rest until he* has told you all and sought your forgiveness. He looks fear- fully ill. and if he is not careful I fear he won't live to get to Somhlegwa. Lilian has not been told yet." "Poor old Phil! Dear old Phil!" ex- claimed Fletcher so loudly that several who were standing near reading their letters looked up in amazement. "I say, Newman!" called out Fletcher to one hurrying past with his arms full of papers. "What line does the Norman belong to?" "Union." "Thanks! Where's their agent?" "In the Exchange Build- ings." "Thanks again captain!" The office was soon found, on the door of which was the usual enamelled plate. "Door closed on account of dust. Please come in," so he entered at once and asked the clerk when the Norman would be due at Cape Town. "The Norman! She arrived last week, and this is her mail," replied the clerk. What was to be done? Perhaps Phil was arrived, and he ill, and unable to find Somhlegwa. Should he run round the hotels and examine the visitors' books? No, he would go to Zeederberg's Coach; Office and ascertain if he had arrived from Monarch., So. muttering to himself "Dear i old Phil! he'll want looking after," he started off at a long stride to make for the coach office. In the Market Place what a dust! In a sudden outburst of wind in an otherwise quiet and sultry atmosphere, a "twister" (whirlwind) had risen and was crossing the I square. The brown, narrow, spiral column of dust rose fully 200 feet straight into the air. People were hurrying away from the course of the windy monster as quickly f as legs would carry them. It spindled away provoking the amusement of trades- men standing near their doors, who were ready to rush in their houses out of its way, but John Fletcher heeded it not, it was not travelling in his direction. Mr. Zeederberg, as fortune would have it, was standing under the stoop of his office, and was willing to do anything to assist "Bulawayo Jack." The lists of passengers were searched, but there was no Philip Devant. At last, after Fletcher had explained that Mr. Devant was his friend, that he was ill, and that Matabele Wilson's was the place for him to alight for Somhlegwa, it was -rranged to wire this direction to the coach oihc9 at Monarch, and, further, to wire to Bulawayo when any passenger of that name booked his seat up-country, Mr. Zeederberg under- taking to send a native out to Somhlegwa immediately on having the wire from Monarch so as to enable Fletcher to be at Matabele Wilson's in time to meet his friend. Re-crossing the square, Fletcher was hailed off by John Sampson to inspect '^Vliss Gwanda, his lioness cub then he must call on "Matabele Wilson," hare a i talk with Dawson (he wiio brought in Alan Wilson's bones during the rebellion), who was laid up at home. and talk with Smasher Parsons about ooor old Stitfv s death, and put his head :nto the marktt master's, office, and have a chat with Freeman Thomas, ex-trooper (C troop) of the Rhodesian Horse, and in a five minutes' visit to the camp get Major Bodle righteously and eloquently indignant with everything Teutonic, from the Kaiser down to German tinned vegetables. N othwithstanding his excitement con- ceriii"^ Phil's confession, this delight at » the prospect of having Phil at Somhlegwa, and his anxiety concerning his friend's health, he was aware that some of those he met who knew him seemed to regard him with a listless curiosity unendurable to y his natural pride, and he felt it instantly and keenlj". Was the story concerning the policy out ? ana was the charge against him, baseless as it was, public property in Bulawayo ? The pride of his old life rose again, and he was more moved than his dignity would show; still, an angry flush reddened his cheeks. He had made him- self a public character during the Laager Days, and, of course, anything wrong about him would be freely discussed. However, he must keep the best face, yet was he pained and mortified beyond measure, and he feit sick at heart and was filled with the serenity of despa;r. Yet, he fancied, there were unmistakable signs that people thought evil of him, but John Fletcher had, by his self-imposed isolation and concen- tration of thought within himself, just placed himself in that position which would induce morbid fancies and cause him to magnify an unfounded suspicion into well- grounded fact. Had he known what was said of him during the previous month at the Bulawayo Club, the camp mess, and at the hotel dinner tables only amounted to this, that John Fletcher was not "Bulawayo Jafck's right name," he would not have had so much cause for perturbation, but he fancied the curious glances cast towards him to be those of suspicion of wrong- doing, and nothing is 'so terrible as the unknown. His head ached from the sun. and a racking pain darted through his temples, and he reeled slightly as he led his horse round to Tattersall s Hotel, where he was to pick up his parcels. He tad stayed much longer in town than he intended, so he, though jaded and weary, rode quietly home to the stillness of his own dwelling. He was no coward, moral ^or physical, aud the suggestion of 'pet'ite^pilule d'ov.bli' as a release from the public charge which he fancied had followed him to Bulawayo. never once occurred to his mind. And it. was borne in upon him now afresh how his relatives had hastily concluded that he was guilty of the charge against him, and had callously reminded him of the dis- grace which fell upon them how several who once protested their warmest friend- ship had suddenly dropped him. and were conspicuously silent in his hour of trial. Since posting his letter to Lilian he had somewhat lost faith in its probable effect upon her; still, as he rode home in the darkening evening, he buoyed himself up with the vague hope that all might yet come right, but at any rate he should now have Philip with him to nurse and care for. Love was tugging at his heart-strings. Shaking himself as a retriever might, he resolved to put himself heart and soul into his farm work, so as to shorten the weary period of waiting till a reply could come from Lilian. The next day his Matabele folk were astonished "baas" should be so energetic, but then they excused him, he was an I-ngisi (Englishman). He rode round the kraals and inspected his live stock, picked out spots for new and extra plantations for mealies, examined all his gold-claim beacons which lay along the veldt portion of the farm, and arranged for the more dilapidated to be re-erected, selected the spot on the spruit to where the new bricks for his new house should be made, sounded the well, and decided to sink a further ten feet and erect a windmill pump, and early the next j morning he would ride over towards the Khami River to collect a span of salted oxen. Late in the afternoon as he was cleaning his guns and revolvers and testing their sights against a biscuit box, stuck up on a boulder, and watched by an amazed circle of naked Matabele, he congratulated him- self on having started sufficient projects to keep his mind well occupied till he could receive Lilian's reply. But there was now another scheme in prospect, which would demand his serious attention. He possessed ten blocks of ten gold mining claims each on his farm. and stray bits of quartz assayed at the Standard Bank at Bulawayo panned out a sufficient number of pennyweights to the ton to prove that. given ordinary facilities in working, the auriferous reef was a payable one. Cer- tainly he had just done sufficient sinking to maintain his legal rights, but nothing more and for many reasons he was in no need of money, and could wait till his neighbours on the same belt had sechred an output; further, though water, and wood were plentiful, the cost of mea lies for the Kaffirs and of transport were then too high, but perhaps the most potent reason for his delav in exoloiiing lay in his fear lest his well-beloved seclusion at Somhlegwa should be broken into by the establishment in its vicinity of a mining camp. He had experience of gold-mining at Felukwe and Bolingwe. and knew gold when he saw it. although it might not be in the shape of a sovereign, and was con- vinced, as were several exports in Bulawayo, that gold underlay portions of the Somhlegwa farm. So with these undertakings inaugurated he could bide his time till the hoped-for letter should arrive. (TO BE CONCLUDED TO-MOEHOWK
Quips and Cranks. "Do you think that stimulants would lnirfc me, doctor P'' "Not if you leave them aione. "Have you seen those noiseless baby-carriages yet?" "No. What I want is a noiseless baby." As Far as She Knew.—He: "Darling was there ever a love like ours?" She "Well, not in my experience, at least." "y ou know what a hatred Brown has for a crowd?" "Yes, indeed: what of it?" "His wife presented him with triplets yesterday." Admiring Cabman.—"Gold old 'orse! That's the fourth time he's fallen down to-night, and blowed if he ain't upset a cyclist every time." Mrs. Fatpurse: I'm very sorry to learn that you've been ill. Had you to keep your bedP Workless Wiliie: No. mum. I had to sell ifc "Doesn't your brother Tommy ever give yom anything, Johnnie?" "I should say he didt He's the one what give me the mumps and the measles." "Well. I'm not going to run any such risk, my dear." "That's just like you, .John! Ever since you got your life insured you've been awfully tfraid you'd get killed." "I can tell e\ei'ythinsr tha tman writes," re- marked the discerning citizen. "How?" "If it's poetry, he begins each sentence with '0,' and if it's prose he begins it with 'I.' "It is a touching sight when a little child learns to stand alone," said the sentimental boarder. "And it is also a touching sight when a man stands a loan, too," replied the cheerful idiot,