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FACTS AND FACETIAE. .+- Charge of the Oil Brigade.-By Tom Talks of Talkertown. O'er the bars, in the cars, O'er the bars thundered- Thundered with anxious haste, Stockholders One Hundred. There rode those anxious men, Greedy One Hundred, Encrer for oil in vein; The oil it still slumbered. Hark! there is a sound fromroDe Hat! to that greasy hum From each and every one Of the unotious One Hundred. Into Oil Creek they pitch; Grasping old brokers; For up comes a rumour which Pleased these new croakers. Forward the Oil Briga.de Take the wells," Barnum said Tnto "He," undismayed, Pitched now the lie Brigade," Pitched the Stock Hundred. Forward the Oil Brigade!" Gods what a charge they made! Each handled pick and spade, None of them slumbered. Their's but to got their ile," Their'a not to let it spile. Aye, yes, they must make their pile, Speculative One Hundred. Derricks to the ripht of them, Derricks to the left of them, Derricks in front of them, All named and numbered. Nobly they sought a well, There many met a sell," Covered with "ile" and dirt, Dirt that of "ile" did small, Scented One Hundred. Raised now each shaft in air, See! what is under there ? A drill, which sinks, God knows where, To strike ile for the Hundred. Mortleager the Brigade grows, Bluer each seeker's nose, For nary" ile" there shows, The pump only water flows, Disappointed One Huudrpd Derricks to the right of ft: cm, Derricks to the left of them, Derricks all around them, Deserted aud sundered. An ordey now came so quick To countermarch up the creek, That in each hat a brick Could be found in that Hundred.. When they got home again, Both pocket and limb did pain, No sane person wondered, Pity the Oil Brigade." Bankrupt One Hundred! Wby is England the richest country in the world ? —Because it has a Deal more on its coast than any other country. A contemporary, alluding to the Oceanic Tele- graph, wonders whether the news transmitted through salt water will be fresh. Ö Why is the suspension of the Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland beneficial to the Fenians?—Because it quickens their apprehension. We hava heard many women complain of their husbands' neglect of home. A spoonful of honey will keep more bees in the hive than will ten of vinegar. Wise men make their enemies their instructors: fools become enemies to their teachers. ITothing is more easy than to do mischief; nothing is more difficult than to suffer without complaining. However little we may have to do, let ua do that little well. An ingenious housekeeper that we have heard of, used to sweep her chimney by letting a rope down, which was fastened round the legs of a goose, and then pulling the goose after it. Rust tells us that the sermon of Taylor excited the wonder of Laud. It was bey0-;1 >;late tnongui him too young. -HUB t'ne great youth humbly begged his grace to pardon that fault, and promised, if he lived, he would mend it. Mosquitoes are tolerably largo and somewhat ferocious in the Mississippi country. A man who went out one day to look for his cow, found her skele- ton on the ground, and a large mosquito on an adjacent tree picking his teeth with one of her horns. "What is the difference between a volunteer who shoots wide of the target, and a husband who blackens his wife's eyes ?-The one misses his mark, and the other marks his missis.—Melbourne Punch. A French writer, in describing the trading powers of the go-ahead Yankee, said:—" If he was cast away on a desolate island, he'd got up the next morning and go around selling maps to the inhabitants." We have a book before us called A Bundle of Epigrams," consisting of some seventy epigrams of four lines each. There are some of them which puzzle our brains to make out, and we submit a couple for our readers to form their own judgment upon them:- "TELEGRAM FROM THE TUILEITLES. No, really, my lord, we couldn't agree, With Mazzini's bag at the Admiralty A post for Stanafeid Certainly not— Poste-restante fits him, the sans culotte "SOLED AGAIN. (A Winter Recipe.) A lass, with holes in tender heels, Should into lambs-wool pop 'em; And Dufferiah sanguine feels, Calk soles would neatly stop 'em! Emperors and editors of newspapers are alike in one respect—they get no holiday. Ordinary people may go away for a month abroad, or by the side of the sea; but Emperors and editors must stop at home to attend to the business of this big and bothering world. Napoleon Ill. was to have been at Nancy, but finds it necessary to forego that pleasure; and the matters that keep him at home are not exactly of an agreeable character, so that but for the fact that he is a very great man, he would grow weary of his work, and sing- I wish I was at Nanoy, I do, I do! The question of negro suffrage was submitted to the voters of the state of Wisconsin at the annual election. The law required the ballots to be writen or printed, for negro suffrage." Those who opposed the measure were required to have written or printed on their tickets after suffrage the word No." An Irishman who, it was supposed, wanted to oppose negro voting, was seen to vote in favour of it, and also to be busily engaged electioneering in that direction. Finally, he was accosted by a person of likeeentiment, to know his reasons for so doing. By Saint Pat- rick rejoined Pat, and ain't they niggers-then let them suffer! When the late Wiseman waa plain Dr. Wiseman, of the Sardinian chapel in Lincoln's-inn-fields, a pious friend knelt to him in confession. After the process he retired to a quiet corner, and lost himself in an ecstasy of contrite fervour. When he rose from his knees at length, his hat was gone. He searched far and near, but nowhere could nannd it. Finally he be- took him to Dr. Wiseman, 11 Father I have lost my hat, I fear somebody has taken it. And what were you doing when it was taken ? Praying." "Ah! my child," said the doctor, with a quiet smile, "ysu know what the Scriptures tells us, we must watch as well as pray." An Old Story Ro.enacted.-As the story goes, when a stump orator was haranguing a meeting of his Confreres, an ass began to bray, when the chairman interfered, and addresemg himself to the speaker, aaid, very complimentary of course, "One at a time, gentlemen, one at a time! The other day when the learned Lord leaves was about to divide the athletic prizes to the competitors, he had only uttered his first rounded period when he was greeted with the loud hurrah. prompted by the instinct of an excited Gposy gander" nibbling on the other (aide of a nigh adjoining wall, joined a hoarse continued croak, waioh tamed the hurrah into a loud unmitigated laugh, in which the staid judge heartily Concurred. He ventured no further, humorouely observing, It seemd 1., too, have got a competitor" (renewed laugh- ter and more croaking). "Let us at onog divide ths prises (Loud cheers).