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EPITOME OF NEWSI

AGRICULTURE. -+--

HORRIBLE AND MYSTERIOUS OCCUR,RENCE.

CHARGE OF PERJURY.

EXTRAORDINARY SUICIDE OF A…

ROBBERY BY A SON.

A TICKET OF LEAVE.

EXTRACTS FROil "PUNCH" & "FUN?

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EXTRACTS FROil "PUNCH" & "FUN? In this Old Hat. IN this old hat Policeman X Has guarded London well; In this beguiled the female sex, And wooed each area-belle To fight and fray. by night and day, From Kew to Camden-town, That shiny top has put a stop, Obedient to the Crown. At parting from the friend of years Deep sighs disturbed his belt; His dark blue eyes, brimful with tears, Attested what he felt: The helmet now upon his brov, He paces slowly by, In doubt how cook and Jane will look- When it arrests their eye. Policeman X, Sir Richard bless With all your might—and main, He apprehends the style of dress That pleases cook and Jane For over tea they both agree- You captivating dear- With such a casque you need but ask, To have incessant beer. A Curiosity. In this hot, thirsty weather, this announcement seems to us to be uncommonly alarming:- A GENUINE BREWER'S HOUSE, Esses. Rent free- il_ good trade warranted; cash, £ 100. A genuine brewer's house!" Gracious powers! Can it then be possible that there are brewers living who are presumed not to be genuine P We suppose, of course, the epithet is intended for the beer, as"well as for the brewer, and the advertisement appears to favour the idea that elsewhere than at this brewer's house, the beer sold is not genuine. This is an appall- ing thought to men with thirsty throats AN EXHIBITION OF FELINE.—We have had a donkey show, and now we are to have a cat show! All we can say is that we trust the exhibition will be held at Islington, which is a distant district, for any nearer locale would be indeed a cat-astrophe. It is purposed—we beg pardon, purr-pussed-to present wedding-rings to the proprietresses of the successful com-pet-itors, as it is presumed that most of the exhibitors will be unmarried ladies. PRINCIPLE—AND INTERESTING.- We live to see strange things! We read in a contemporary that the Austrian Government intend to recognise Greece on principle' solely." Well, if Austria is anxious to regain her credit, she cannot too soon prove that she has a principle." No one has had any cause to sus- pect her of possessing any for many a long day. Principle would be almost as fine a capital as Vienna. SHORT WHIST.—" Short whist," says a descendant of Mrs. Battle, whose opinions on the game are very generally known, "is a rubber, where two, out of four, are hard-up players, unable to settle their losses. This is very short whist. "Long whist," adds this excellent matron, is Mr. Battle's constant excuse for coming home from his club at four o'clock in the morinng." A FASHIONABLE CIRCULAR.—The upper circles of Austrian fashion have protested against those under cir jles known as crinolines. Hoops are bowled out by being prohibited from entering the salons of the nobility. We have always held that there was room for improvement in this article of fashion, but this step will'certainly be an improvement for room. TIME, WANTED.—A correspondent writes, com- plaining that if he could only fincl time, he would do anything for us. Another writes word, that he has been keeping late hours for several years. Surely the latter must have a stock by him. One correspondent will doubtless be able to oblige the other with a few spare minutes. A LITTLE TOO HIGHLY SEASONED.—A contem- porary relates that a Norwegian brig laden with salt went down in the Channel the other day, but that ae- soon as the salt dissolved she rose and floated about the Channel. Our contemporary must have fallen a victim to some salt-seller. We delina to receive the melting tale unless it be cum grano. ROUGE-ET-NOIR AT HOME.-To those who are un- able to visit Homburg this year, we are authorised to state that, though ordinary gambling is clearly illegal, yet, on parts of the Rivers Thames, the authorities permit any amount of punting." NUTS TO CRACK.—Some navvies working on the Llauelly and Swansea Extension Railway, a few weeks since, unearthed at Pontardulais a large basinful of nuts in excellent preservation. Attempts have been made to discover how long they have been thus buried, but we venture to prophesy it will not be found out hazel-y. TIT FOR TAT.—The working men of Bradford re- ceived Lord Palmerston on his visit to that town in profound silence. This is beating Paiii by following suit with his own cards. He refuses them a voice in Parliament, and they refuse him one out of doors. A CATCH.—Some gentlemen are reported to have caught a sunfish five feet long in Mount's Bay, Pen- zance. If they could manage to catch a rainfish, it would be much more like what is wanted this dry weather.