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VARIETIES. A PoaKR —" r don't what r-ni menn by not being Bo I n«< ui ii. .iHi-i t,ei.;l-n.an, who W:i"; about hiriti*; a bey "bot v011 were born ill Ireland." ■' Oeb, your honour, II that's all," said tin- boy, small hi.me to that. Suppos" vonr cut should have kitens in Ih" oven, would they be loaves of bread ?" AMBRTCAV VKBDfcr.— A man in Miclr'gin, nit long eir-ce committed suicide by drowning. As body could be found, the coroner field an in■;sie^.t on his hat and j ickrt, found on the bank of the lake. Verdict found empty." BEC.GING LETTERS.— Mr. S. the other day received a begging letter, which told a very piti dole tale. AM Irish fientlemin coming in a, the time, was asked what lie would f'o ii? such a caw. He replied. Why, writ? and say that, yon give liiin anything, ior you don't know his ad- dress." An American editor, speaking of a concert singer, says her voice i, delfcious—pure as the mcnnlight, and as tender as a three shilling c'iirt. There is a thriving Friendly 3oc¡,.ty in \1 al1(;h"st"r nnr1er ,1.1I11P\\I¡"t fuhidring- title of" Antedebiviari Buffaloes." TICKLING THE EARTH.—A Texas paper say that the earth is so kind in that S'.i!e, tfnt" just tickle her with a lioe she will laugh with a harvest." A LAWYER, the other day. went into one of nur barber's 1Ihops to procure a win. In taking the dimensions of the lawyer's head the hoy exclaimed ? Why how lonr/ your head is, Sir. Yes!" replied onr worthy friend," we laicyers must hiive long heads The b y proceeded in his voca' ion, but at length exclaimed Lord, Sir. your head is aa thief: as it is Ion i 1 Bbicn stone rr.izz'ed. How HARD IT IS TO ISB CONTENT !—A laundress who was employed in the family of i1 governor, said to him with a sigh 0: ly think, your excellency, how small a sum of' money would make rne happy."How little madam?" *'Oh dear sir, twenty pounds would make me perfectly liappy." It that :s all, yon shall have it and he immedi- ately gave it to her. She looked at it with joy and thank- fulness, and before the governor was out of hearing, exel lim- ed. I wish I iia(i -ai(i ior,y WHAT CONSTITUTES A GRNTr.KMAK.— A fine coat may cover a scoundrel, bot it never hid one. A man may have a hand as hard as a tanned hide—he may wear a home-spun coat, or no coat at all-h" may put a fashionable hat on his head, or one of or go bireheailed-bi- may wear boots, or clogs, or go without any thing on his IPet-if l'e is only right here, and here, and here (pointing to his hands, his heart, and his head) he is a gent\ernan.-Guuglt.s Oration at Glasgow. DISAPPOINTMENT.—Men are very seldo.n disappointed except when their desires are immoderate, or when thev suffer their passions to overpower their reason, arod dwell upon delightful scenes of future lioiiou-F, power, or riches, till they mistake probabilities for certainties, or wiid wishes for rational expectations. If such men, when they awake from these voluntas y dreams, find the pleasing phantom vanish away, what can they blame but their own folly? EXTREMES.— .Men are stoics in their early years, epicu- reans in their lattpr! social in vonth, eslfish in old age. In early life they believe all men honest, till they know them to be knaves ;in later life they believe all to be knaves, till they know them to he honest. Thus, somehow or other, men pass in the course of living, Irom one of those extremes to the other and from having thought too well of human natureat first, think at last perhaps too ill of it, A SEVERE LOSS.—An amusing occurrence took place in the bateries lately. A shell from tiie enemy dropped right into the muzzle of one of "ltr guns. It bursting there it shattered the gun, and made it recoil. A soldier, who was in the rear o --it, in a coil of rope, was tripped and fell. Seeing a man knocked over, caused, as usual, a shout for the doctor, who rushed up in great haste, and caught the man in his arms. What is the matter, my man ?" said — II Oh! stire, Sir," sai(i he, I've lost my pipe for which lie seeme I in agony of mind. EXCUSED.—A young man at a social party was urged to sing a song, lie replied that he would first tellastory, and then, if they persisted in their demands, he would execu'e a song. 11 When a boy," he said. lie took lessons in singing, and on Sunday morning he went into his father's attic to practice by himself. When in full play, be '> as suddenly sent for by the old gentlemen. 'This i" pretty conduct,' said tie'father, 'pretty employment for the son ot pious parents, to be sawing boards on Sunday morning, loud enough to be hpard I,y tbp lIeighbours. Sit down and t.ike your hook.' The young man was excused from singing the proposed song COMPLIMENTARY.— A country carpenter hiving neg- lected to make a gallows that had been ordered to be erected by a certain Hay, the Judge himself went to the man, and Sitid, Felloe, how came you to neglect making the gibb> t that I ordered?" Without intendirigany sarcasm, the man replied, ;iTu m-ry rv for if I bad known it was lor Jour Lordship, vt»shouid have hvt'f1 done immediately." DOMESTIC DF.Yi.NITIONs.-Love.- .The, fulfilling <>f the law. Courtship,—S-> eetme«ts nt once confectionary. A Ba- ck far s Sovj,—The voice ol one crying in the wilderness. S'arT7"ff^.— A voyrge of discovery, perhaps to the Equator. T^rhans re the Pole. A Little Family. — Fledges of affection for sentiments upon pincushions; the world's recruits, very nam to train; the small beginning of which there is no end*. a'cn'a^'e wlint may be accomplished in everything t'n Jjfe by moderate beginnings and judicious perseverance. AHOMET —A reformer, a s'etesman, A general, a con- N, qnerer an orator. Mahomet compiled and adapted to the ° cnunt'ymen the Judaean, Grecian, and Ghristian i eas ne had collected during his travi- Is with bis caravan or from the pilgrims *() Mecca, and his Christian acquaintance a lira, the Arabian monk, and Djab' r, the Greek goldsmith, I." ^ears' ^r°IT) 'he ajre of 4U to .'JO, he tried to accom- I'ls, "V;e,rTs ''J* preaching in Mecca find its lIeighbour- 'i0'" being nmrly stoned to death, his spirit or his 'i C 'ie reso!v,1d to enforce his ideas by the join the enemies of hu tribe and city at el e rl^v, ^gf^ciatitins opened with him byChri?tians were p",P.f t Is e,np'i1'ic rejection of tile divinisy ot Jesus I Christ: Although publishing the Koran verse by versp, according to circumstances, he never afterwards swerved rom is gospel n'>r aposi le and bis gospel was deism, and ls apost.e the s;ihre. Mahomet was pitifully weak in 1°,r Up 10 ;he age of 5!) he was the irre- proHt.,ab.e hasba' d of cyt-c wife, who was older than hunself; 'I tiring the last 16 years of his life be was continually JJ^rrj ing young wives, ;m<) spent the intervals b"l .veen am li g its, in quarrels in his harem, dci lainations in the emp e and copfint5 in ihe battle-field. P nssibly A great man ma, be a hero to his valet but after 50, or indeed at any age. It is, impossible' to be anything but a f "'l in a h rem »b '"tWIVes>. Ajvsha was his favourite. Mahomet pre- nff r ■ r,eC(-'ve guidance from angels in his domestic mV' e aPP'■lrs'° have been treated like an ordinary y tne blind Lrod and a cunning beauty.—Eclectic Jievteiv, January, 1855. ■rpm»\'w').DY BLT A I'!trxtkr."— Suc'i was the sneering a Prison witidii our hearing, while referring to the in "sooth" Wr'°"w P^de. "Nobody but a printer," veins .n'l m:,kes run rampant through our ,IPtA i ltJ<lr snt:il 'Xpressions fail fr in the hps ol those fi,i» mm, reP,1bl" aii soil. N ohody hut n printer, any- !'■' 1 s Beujuntn Franklin? "Nobody but "a lit r fT a ,Was illiatr. Caxton, one of the la'hers ot UrP j but a printer." Who is the Earl nl n'°Pe 'Nobody but ,t printer." Who was Samuel Uoodworth? -Nnb,ly but printer." Who WH< (l,- Y^ir°rr> ernf Fensyjvfl-.i,;a ? >7obo<fj- bnt a printer." 'i, orr's. James Harper, Thin b>v Weed, Horace Nilo*s' "k<v u' ^ars' a! Senators, Dix Cameron and own P IWA*1 '1,iv 'HU prioters." VV ho 's G"v>- ri.or of our "er V|rrn'' ? VVi,y Bigle, Nobody but a pria- /•! l° hirtb as the l>riK-ht particular star in the "'Htlf! Chilntbt'r ot Ser.rrlmtc'Pto ?-thp yoting and brilliant maru i -«obo-(y but a printer." Who erected those o. R' HCes w'"ch adorn our mctrop.olis of the Pacili: iamentrrirplr!f' Nobody '>ut» printer." Who was the Washin 1"irrt< whom the people of C11if• raia sent to Uashln^ton as their first renrese.native? "Nobody Out a P -n e Une ^h pg is evident, every one that thoo-es can't ea printer, lii-ams are necessary. — Caljumia Payer.

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H AVEIIF()RDWEST TOWN COUNCIL.

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OFFICIAL DESPATCH FROM It…

VICE-ADMIRAL SIR CHARLES NAPIER.…

BRITISH PRE vl I li R S.

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T II E P II E M I E R'S POSITION.

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IMR. MECH I ON FARM DRAINAGE…

LTME AS A FERTILIZER; !

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---THE LONDON MARKETS.

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POTATO MARKETS. —MONDAY, FEB.…

HOP MARKET, MONDIY. FRB- 12..…

TALLOW TRADE.-MONDAY. FEB…

tWOOL MA RK E I'S. —MONDAY,…

)MANURED.—MONHAY, FEB 12..…

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