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MARINE TERRACE.

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CHURCH AND CHAPEL.

IN MEMORIAM.

- " LIFE ON THE OCEAN WAVE."

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I AMUSMENTS FOR YOUNG. AND…

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I AMUSMENTS FOR YOUNG. AND OLD. j CHRISTMAS SHADOWS. In the gloaming of the morning, Ere the faintest ray of dawn, Whence these ghostly little figures; Stealing silently along ? With their white and trailing garments, With their noiseless feet and bare, With soft eyes that gleam like diamonds, Masses bright of unkempt hair. Through the hall, so long and darkened, Weirdly glide the airy throng, Broken laughter floating'round them, Like the fragments of a song. Can we lay these restless roamers ? See! at mother's door they pause. Ah I have a charm to still them Gently whisper-" Santa Claus 1" Little witches now I've caught you Susie, Baby, have a care There they go, rough roll and tumble," For the stockings on the chair. AFTER DINNER AMUSEMENTS. THE RAISIN TORTOISE. ..f the conversation begins to Bag over the walnuts Jnd the wine," or if the cup which cheers and does not inebriate ceases to fulfil its mission, a few of those choice muscatel raisins, which have escaped the grasp of the younger branches of the family, will afford pleasure if made into a raisin tortoise. The muscatel raisin forms the body, and small portions of the stalk of the same fruit the head and legs. With a little judgment in the selection of the pieces of stalk and the mode they are thrust into the body, it is surprising what a lifelike tor- toise may be thus produced. If the young folks are not satisfied with the tortoise they may be with THE LEMON PIC. The body of this celebrated pig consists of a lemon. The shape of this fruit renders it particularly well adapted for the purpose. The crease or shoulder at the small end of the. lemon being just about the right shape to form the head and neck of the pig. With three or four lemons to choose from, you cannot fail to find at least one which will answer the purpose exactly. The mouth and ears are made by cutting the rind with a penknife, the legs of short ends of lucifer matches, and the eyes either of black pins, thrust in up to the head, or of grape or plum stones. THE PASSENGER WHO DOES NOT LIKE THE SEA. Not much is required to illustrate this touching pic- ture—only a pockethandkerehief or soft table napkin, and a wineglass. The orange is first prepared by cutting in the rind with a penknife the ears, nose, and mouth, which the skill of the artist can compass, a couple of raisin pips stuck into the fruit supplying the place of eyes. A pockethandkerchief is stretched lightly over the glass, and the prepared orange laid thereon. The pockethandkerchief is then moved backwards and for* wards over the top of the glass, imparting to the orange a rolling motion, and affording a laughable but striking caricature of the agonies of the seasick passenger. CONUNDRUMS. When do flowers become highwaymen ?-When they show their pistils (pistols) and stamen (stay men). Why ought Hannibal to have fought like a bull ?— Because he was the son of Hamilcar (a milker). What great man might have been called to make a fire ?—Philip the Great (fill up the grate.) What flower would make the best piano?—Rose would (rose wood). When does a blacksmith make a row in the alphabet? —When he makes a poke-r and shoved. Why is a hare easier to catch than a heiress ?—She has an eye (i) and the hare has none. Divide a hundred and fifty by nothing, add two thirds of ten, so ends my riddle.—C.O.L-en-so (Colenso). What is the difference between a farmer's work and and his wife's ?-He sows wheat, and she sows tears (tares). Why is a thrifty housewife the farmer's enemy ?— She often sows tears when he is asleep. When should bread he served out to soldiers ?-At roIV call. A TILAlK-F.iN vvuitKm '0' UI married acquaintance, and said to her How do you contrive to amuse yourself?" Ampse said the other starting, "do you not know th" t I have my home- work to do ?" "Yes" was the answer; 1 see you have it to do but as it's never done, I conclude you must have some other way of passing yoar time." HAVE you any old clothes, mum, as you could give a poor man who has a sick wife and six small children to support ?" inquired a dilapidated person at the door of a West End residence. I've got a coat with but three buttons pons, and a pair of pantaloons that have had but a small patch behind, which I guess you can have," said the good woman, after i-he had examined her closet. Is the coat double-breasted, with a velvet collar?" enquired the poor man. "Are the pantaloons of a plaid pattern, and cut with spring bottoms of twenty-two inches: "No, sir." "Then you needn't trot "em ou t," said the poor man; they ain't my style, and I don't want them." S I R EDWARD SmŒRN having been reproached by some Whig members with the fact that his father had been an hairdresser, replied, "You are right, my father was' a hairdresser, and I myself am now going down to the House to give the Whigs (wigs) a dressing A BELATED husband hunting in the dark for a. match with which to light the gas, and audibly expres- sing his disappointment, was rendered insane in an instant by his wife suggesting, in a sleepy voice, that he had better light one and look for them, and not go stumbling around in the dark, breaking things. THREE little boys were thrown from a waggon recently, and, strange to fay,escaped uninjured, although the suits thev wore were all kilt. IN the fairest village of Western New York, the "cullud pussuns," in emulation of their white brethren, formed a debating society, for the purpose of improving their minds by the discussion of instructive and entertaining topics. The deliberations of the society was presided over by a venerable darkey, who performed his duties with the utmost dignity, peculiar to his colour. The subject for dis- cussion, on the occasion of which we write, was, Which am de mudder ob de chicken-de hen wot lays de egg, or de hen wot hatches de chicken ? The question was warmly debated, and many reasons pro and con were urged and combated by the excited dis- putants. Those in favour of the latter proposition were evidently in the majority, and the president made no attempt to conceal that his sympathies were with the predominant party. At length an intelligent darkey rose from the minority side, and begged leave to state a proposition to this effect: "S'ppose," said he, dat you set one dozen ducks' eggs under a hen, and i dey hatch, which am de mudder—de duck or de hen ? This was a poser, was well put, and rather nonplussed the other side, and even staggered the president, who plainly saw the force of the argument, but had committed himself too far to yield without a struggle; so, after cogitating and scratching his wool for a few moments, a bright idea struck him. Rising from his chair, in all the pride of conscious superiority, he announced, "Ducks am not before de house; chickens am de question; derefore I rule de ducks out And do it he did to the complete overthrow of his ooDonents.

TREGARON. *"j

-----------WAS SHE FALSE 1",

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--NEWQUAY.

METEOROLOGICAL REGISTER,

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