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WE think it should be lawful for one, when he meets a human snake, to bruise the serpent's head. CARLYLE meeting a young man walking alone, asked him with what his thoughts were occupied. Sir," said the young man, pompously, I am speak- ing with myself." Take care always, young man, that you do not talk with a bad man," quietly re- 'joined the old Scotch philosopher. A LADY who had her front teeth filled, was mortified before company," one day, by her little iiece, who, on seeing the gold filling shining as the lady smiled, gravely remarked, Aunt Mary, I wish I had copper-toed teeth like yours." WIFE (who has become an amateur painter): What do you think of the sketch, dear" Husband: Well the drawing of it involved no breach of the lecond commandment, for it is not the likeness of toy thing that is in the Heaven above, or in the earth beneath, or in the waters under the earth. THE BANE AND ANTIDOTB.—I stuck to my tesolution nobly all that evening, and Went to bed tober for the first time since I got out of long clothes. On waking the next morning I by for a few foments Wondering what made my mouth taste so funny, and Mentally resolving to begin with a cold water cocktail to" freshen my nip for the day but concluded ftrit, in accordance with my usual custom, to look ovr the morning paper. The first heading that! struck my attention was Developments Spring Valley Water—Bugs, Snakes, and other Reptiles i Swarming in it—The Lives of our Citizeng Endan- geisd by Drinking it.' I As I read, the full mag- nitude of the new danger I had incurred in trying to esdtpe the old one gradually dawned upon ma. I had aHays known thatall water contained micros<;0piclife, bu1 here was a new revelation. It did not require a I miroscope, so the article said, to see the life in Spring Valey. Monsters of varied forms were visible to the nafed eye.' There were bugs, hair snakes, fleas, lice, nafed fyp.. There were bugs, hair snakes, fleas, lice, anl God knows what not monsters sporting in the j grat reservoirs, and crawling, hopping' and swim- m&g through the pipes of the company, and worse j tbln all, amongst the hideous mass of insect life thus brought to the attention of the public was a quad- ru»ed, centipede, or some other kind of a pede, called a Cyclops." That rather got me. In my school days j I J1.d read of the Cyclops as a race of monsters having butoneeyeia the middle of their foreheads. and fabled to hvve been the bastard sons of the god Vulcan, who obt;ined a permanent job as blacksmith in the burn- ing b>»t l3 of Mount Etna. The Lord save us," thinto I, if these fellows are any relation to that crow(, what a mess I've made of it in dropping whisky for wLter. They'll kick up a worse bobbery in my bowe) then their big brothers did in tbose of Mount Etna. There'll be an eruption As if to make my words good, I began to feel a suspicious sensation all throujjh my inwards," and, jumping out of bed, I rushei to the sideboard and seizing a jog wWch con- tainedabout a gallon, more or less, of Old Rre whisky, I drailed it to the dregs. I began to feel a little better then, trid after dressing and breakfasting I sat down with the two papers before me and re-read each trticle, calmly and dispassionately- I then gave ttyseif up to profound meditation for tile, rest o the day, which was, fortunstellv, Sunday, and fnally came to the sensible »nd reasonable concision that after all everything was ordered for tho best and the community was saved. I decided that at We use one poison as an antidote to another, I had tie remedy right in my own bands. By a judi- cious fixture of whisky and water, the whisky would effectually kill the bugs, "Cyclops," etc., "while the animal organisms in the process of being*11 ed wouid doubtless absorb and neutralise the poisonous ingro- j dients of thfl wiisky, and thus the balance of powef" would be preserved aDd all over- come., Since then I have religiously followed up this idea 4ith the happiest results, nnd I propose to write an article for the Daily Wriggler," elucidating my theory In full, and placing it alongside Pleasl\nton's "'Blue Q-lass Theory," as one of the grand scientific discoveries of the age. A fasrr TO THE MAN IN THE Moon*—-Their attention Was suddenly called off by Jaques etching sight something that looked like a ne"tnreep>nny. piece, and in another second like a big fv'ni»ig tin plate. What's that ? said Jaques. Whue'he was sayiDg this it had grown as big as a dram. "«rhaps it's a giant's dish," said Ranulf. It wae now as big as acireaa. ies getting +oo big for that,ooidJ aqaes. By this time it was as large as a raceeourse, a°°ln *»other second it was too great to be like anyflbi?^' -^orval, who bad been thinking, was just g01?^ 0 say, '♦ Perhaps it's the moon," when the Man in Moon put bis head out at one side. and looking a,, Stumpy as possible, called out-" Hi, you rase8" • what do you tfant here?" He had evidently been wllkened out of a nap by the whirr of the bicycles, for he wore a big red night cap, and had got oniy ODe eve wore a big red night cap, and had got oniy 6ye open. We aren't rascals, said Jaques. « you say that, we'll tell papa." "Oh," said Nor*ah are you the fellow that came down too soon 7" Banulf broke in—" I think you've got up too soon this morning By the bye, did you ever find the way to Norwich, ? The Man in the M jon got quite red with rage at this, opened his other eye, and aimed a bio* 6 ■KaHulf with » b'g stick. "Ha! said Jaques, "thBt8 of the sticks you gathered on Sunday, yoU J1 a)n As hIs arm made the blow, it came nearer the boys and the stick, which had locked only like a porridge-stick got as big as as Nelson's Monument. BaDulf would have been knocked to pieces, but the little man at the back of the bicycle gave a sudden dart to one side the Man in the Moon overbalanced a°j V 18 wife had not caught him by the legs he would av» tumbled off the moon altogether. In strUggling to get up again his night cap fell off, and a breeze of wind carrying it away, left it sticking on one of the moon s horns. They were now getting 80 near the moon that they began "to wonder how they were to pass it. "Jump over, to "be sure," said Jaques. u at would be a tremendous jump!" rephed Itanut. Not at all," said Norval; you know the cow over tbe moon, so it can't be very difficult alter The bicycles began to move a little slower, and the boys bought they were going to stop, but ittuf:ned ou the little men were only gathering themselves og like good hunters, for the spring, for in a moment they gave a whistle, as a train does when it goes into a tunnel, and tbe bicycles bounding UP' r'^ over the top of the moon, the boys keeping their sea in a way that it would be well if some be" or Parliament could imitate. As they passed, too in the Moon, who had come up after bis mgbt cap, shouted "Don't you come here again! and pic e up a stone as big as four hayricks to throw alter t em. But before he could do so hi3 wife, who had come behind him, and wbo had a nose »s big as a s 'P9 long-boat, eyes like paddle-boxes, and a mout) 1 *-e the entrar.ee to a harbour, seized him by the ar,"» hoxed bis ears, and said in a voice loud enough to e heard hundreds of miles off Would you hur dear little things, you old villain ?" .HT1/ villain villain!'iliain .lain! Ian !'ln • cried the> ec in the stars. The Man in the Moon dropped the big stone on his own toes, and muttering, ieticoa- government again pulled his night cup over bis ear. shrugged his shoulders, and went home meekly to brftumt.- Our Trip to Blunderland, oy Jean Jamba**


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