South Wales Echo

LONDON LETTER. ) [SPECIALLY WIRED.] [BT OUR GALLERY CORRESPONDENT.] LONDON, Thursday Night. New Year's Day has long ceased to be a date associated with the anxieties of years ago so far as the complications of European politics are concerned. President Grevy, in receiving the Foreign Ambassadors to- day at the Elysee, was all smiles and com- pliment, and was happy to bear testimony to the friendship uniting France with all other nations. The generation is passing a).y which retains a remembrance of New Year's Day under the Empire, when on.one memorable occasion, six and twenty years ago, the Emperor Napoleon spoke a few words to Baron Hubner, the Austrian Auibaasador, which in a few hours sent down the value of stocks in the European markets £ 100,000,000 sterling. Then followed the formation of the volunteer army of England in the fear that the fate of Austria in being attacked might be ours, and I suppose there are few who recollect that nearly half a generation has now elapsed since the sovereign who was then described as the arbitrator of Europe was laid to his rest in the church of a Kentish village, having died as an exile in the land which had called upon its citizens to arm against the military forces which, as the master of legions, he had at his com- mand. Much thin satire has been expended to- day over the announcement that the Queen's consent to the betrothal of Prince Beatrice was given on condition that her Royal Hiorhness should continue to reside with her Ma jesty. The idea of a bridegroom taking up his quarters with a mother-in-law has been subjected to some obvious ridicule. But looking at the constant companionship between the Queen and her youngest child, the stipulation which her Ma- jesty has made does not appear so unreasonable after all. Princess Louise ieft home to be married nearly 14 years ago, in March, 1871. Princess Beatrice was then 14 years of age, but such has been the constant companionship between mother and daughter, that although the latter has long entered the state of womanhood, the Queen, in the letter which she wrote to her people expressing the thanks for the sympa- thy shown to her when an attempt was made upon her life by Maclean, spoke of Princess Beatrice as her beloved child. The Princess was less than five years old when her father died, and since then seven of the Queen's children have been married and two have followed the Prince Consort to the tomb. In all these changes Princess Beatrice has been the daily solace of her mother, and as there is no necessity for the Royal couple to live out of England, her Majesty not unnaturally wishes that the last of her children to be married shall still be with her. It is satisfactory to know that Mr Forster, who had an operation performed upon his foot a few days ago, is making good progress towards recovery. Some years ago, when obtruction in the House of Commons had not reached its present stage of perfection, Mr Forster declared that although an old man, hu was quite prepared to sit up all night in order to prevent the success- ful development of the new system. That was in 1877, but even now Mr Forster can scarcely be described as an old man. We should. not so call Sir Stafford Northcote, who was born in the same year which witnessed the birth of Mr Forster, 1818. Sir Stafford Northcote is indeed as well preserved a man as is to be seen on either of the front benches. The soft breezes which blow over the county of Devon thoroughly agree with him. Whatever course Mr Gladstone may adopt after the general election—whether he will remain to lead the Liberal party, or retire to spend the rest of his days in well earned leisure— one thing is definitely settled. He wfll not undertake the task of furthering the cause which the Liberation Society have at heart, and to which they intend to devote their energies in the :0> coming year, and in the new Parliament. He has, in a private letter to one of the leaders of the movement, plainly intimated this de- cision. It would, indeed, be difficult, apart from circumstances pertaining to thirst for rest, for Jl r Gladstone to enter upon a crusade, the declared end of which is the disestablishment of the Church of England. In a memorable passage which is probably cherished in the notebook of many a fervent Churchman, he has spoken of the disestablishment question as affecting the Church of England in terms that cannot be misunderstood. He does not deny that the is inevitable, nor dispute its near ap- proach. But he does most emphatically '•eciare thai if Church of England is to he disestablished, it must he through other inc:. h' 'L.}. rJVr-' iillaj sjjtjtjun lUtfcUC siX or seven years ago, and it is true that a very significant I thing has happened s^ice then. When the Premier wa3 in Scotland in the autumn, he granted an interview to a deputation repre- senting the views of the Free Church ,,f Scotland, in itself a orisiderable advance, as he had hitherto scrup,joljg]y re- frained from touching on the Chuu^ ques- tion in Scotland. 1 happened to in Edinburgh at the time, and was abu to communicate to you the purport of he reply made to the deputation by thv Premier. He was still exceedingly reserved, and would not give any pledge, or even offer any opinion on the question, narrowed as l was by the deputation to the fate of the Church in Scotland. But he adviseu, it may bo aJuiost said authorised, the deputa- tion to remove the ban against demanding pledges on the Disestablishment question, which had hitherto I)i,i laid upon tne Liberal confltllellces with the object of pre- venting fissures. That was a lnng step in advance, the importance of which can scarcely be over- rated. Dining Mr Gladstone's election campaign in Midlothian, the question of disestablishment was by general consent tabooed, it beinij known that Mr Gladstone was not prepared to give a pledge on the subject. At the next general election this restraint will be removed, and it is certain, however things may go in other parts of the United Kingdom, that in Scotland disestab- lishment will be made the test question, a prospect not to be viewed without apprehen- sion by Liberals pure and simple. It will lead to much cross voting, and here and there a Tory may in consequence fetch a Liberal seat. Mr Gladstone himself cannot fscaufc the general rule, and will have to declare for or against disestablishment. But perhaps he does not mean to stand again for Midlothian, and had this determination in mind when he gave the advice.

THE VERY- BEST! | vecRTABLS P1LU5. 1 entity their composition to b» r.ur^y vpcet-i.br I have also irieri their e<f*et, awl .Onsi,itr them one of the l'et Aptvicut Vills consiti- {SurneJl, .K !TN I'.AI.BIRN'I: M.A M.T> — — JOSA oy all Clkr'aiits, ;:i 7jii, in i 94 boxo<34

"A RACE FOR A DEANERY." I "WHEELING" (published by Harry Ethrington, 152, Fleet-street) is the title of a periodical devoted to bicycling; and tricycling. In connec- tion with it this year has been published an annual choke full of capital tales, most of them referring to adventures on the bike" or "trike." Mr Coleman and other handicappers have also prepared a list of the records for the year, together with a return of the winners of the various pro- fessional and amateur championships, with the times and distances. The Wheeling Annual" is one of the most attractive we have seen this year, We take the liberty of quoting one of the best of the tales it is entitled A RACE FOR A DEANERT." Take it all in all, there is no finer exercise than wheeling, and, unlike some doctors, I can speak from practical experience, for I have fol- lowed my own prescription for more than ten years." Such was the dictum of my old friend and col- lege chum, Walter Marsh M.D., to whom I had pleaded gullto to sundry misgivings that I was getting into a bad way through insufficient exercise, and yet could not make up my mind as to what kind of exercise would be best for me. "Yes, my boy, wheeling is the exercise for you buy a tri., and use it, and your doctor's bill will be considerably shorter than you have been accustomed to see it, and if this isn't disinterested advice, I don't know what is." Here the doctor paused to light a cigar, and I followed his good example. The silence, however, was of short duration, for Marsh had mounted his hobby, and was off again. By the way, did you see the announcement of my uncle's appointment to the Deanery of Aylcester last week Yes, and I was uncommonly glad to see it; worth about £2,000 a year, I fancy." "Well, what would you say if I told you the old boy won his preferment by a bi. ride, eh ?" "Oh I should say you were having a joke at my expense. Dr. Osborne on a bi., indeed, and racing for a deanery No, no I can't swallow that, old fellow." Don't you put a wrong construction on a man's words. I didn't say he rode the machine in point of fact, I did the riding, and he gained the^ prize. Would you like to hear the story ?" very much, indeed," was my response. "Well, fill your glass; this is'Glencoe,, and this prime do Irish mix for yourself." Preliminaries having been arranged to our mutual satisfaction, the doctor commenced. Two years ago, I bad a very pressing invita- tion from my uncle Osborne to stay a month at his place in Devonshire you know he was vicar of Elmwold-a scattered rural parish, five miles from the railway station. I didn't feel over well at the time, and really required a holiday, so away I went, forwarding my luggage by rail, and following on my bi. I'm not going to describe my ride, more than by saying I enjoyed it un- commonly well, and met with very civil treatment en route. "My welcome, both from my uncle and aunt, was all that could be desired, and within a week I had found out all the picturesque spots within a radius of 20 miles. I was rather struck, though, with my uncle's pre-occupation whenever we were together, and his scarcely disguised eager- ness to seek refuge in his study, and I half sus- pected he was preparing to embark on the troubled seas of authorship. My aunt, however, quickly undeceived me on my broaching my suspicion to her. Is it possible, my dear Walter, that you have not heard that your uncle is to preach before the Ethical Congress at Ambluston, on the 21st I thought he had told you, if, indeed, you require telling. I am sure it has been announced in all the papers I have seen." Vh that is the secret of Uncle Frank's learned meditations. Well, I must confess I not heard of it, and I suppose the Lundoti news- papers omitted to publish the interesting fact, or I must have overlooked it. So the dear old gentle- man is going to edify the learned pundits. I sup- pose, by the way, you will be in attendance Of course, I shall be there, and you also I trust," was my aunt's reply. Well, at length the eventful day arrived, and the sermon (enfolded in a new case specially worked for the purpose by my aunt) had received its last finishing touch. A fly from the nearest inn was at the door, and shortly after eight o'clock wa were off. The nearest station, as I mentioned, was five mUes away, and the train that was to convey us to Ambluston started at nine, covering the distance to our destination in the wonderful time of 4-3 minutes, the said distance being no less than fourteen miles. In due course we arrived at the station, being about 20 minutes before the train. Those minutes seemed about the longest I ever knew the vicar fidgetted, Aunt Helen fidgetted, and both feared the train would be late. At last the wretched apology for a train rumbled into sight, and we took our seats, and presently were off. If you will excuse me,' began my uncle, 'I think I will just glance at my sermon,' and in another moment the MSS. was in his hand. A hasty exclamation burst from his lips, and the sermon fell to the floor of the carriage. In a moment my aunt and I had seized his hands, and were about to looen his cravat, fearing he had fainted, but he waved us off, and gasped out, The sermon, the wrong serman Before I could utter a word, my aunt had the sermon in her hand, and had grasped the whole situation. The grand discourse, in its new case, had been placed on the library table, near his old familiar one, containing his last Sunday's exhortation, and by force of habit he had taken up the one to which he was accustomed. Here was a pretty mud,ile I The savants would meet expecting an intellectual treat, and ex would be sent empty away, unless by some means the sermon could be placed in the preacher's hands by half-past eleven. I made a hurried calculation the train would stop at a station about three miles away, thence to Elmswold would be seven miles. Elmswold to Ambluston, by the nearest road, 16 miles, total, 23 miles, time about two hours and a quarter. Could it be done? I would try. 'Uncle, I said, cheerily, 'don't be too sure ( that you will disappoint the pundits. Tell me exactly where the sermon is (and the text to prevent mistake), and I think I can undertake to put it into your hands by half-past eleven, if that will be early enough.' "'No! no You can't do impossibilities; there are no more trains till the evening.' "No trains' but you forget my bi. at Elms- wold. See, uncle, the train is going to stop, tell me quickly where I shall find the sermon." Oh my boy, if you could do it—but no Again my aunt's good sense came to the rescue. There is a chance, Frank, let us try it. Give Walter your keys, and tell him where you left the sermon.' On the library table, and the text is Paral- lelisms of Thought in the Writings of Ancient Greece and the Sacred Scriptures. teeizing tho keys, I leapt from the train before it had come to a standstill, and hurried out of the station. My object was to borrow a horse at the '■virest hostelry, ride as speedily as the animal y->ld s;o, to the vicarage, and thence by bi. to 4. *uck would have it, I managed to *a>wible horse at the Langley Arms, and within ufe,v minutes was galloping towards Limswooa. Fortunately, I was tolerably well acquainted tho road, and knowing the importance errand, I had no hesitation in Urfi'a?umyi R fe-o the utmost of his powers. The clock ini JJ church tower struck 10 as I rode up to th £ ° tloor. { fancy j see now the astomsh*^ depicted on the homely countenance of old Perkins, my uncle's servant, as I burst upv vjew, my horse covered with foam, and si,. hv his heaving flanks how severe his task "'Don't say a wordJPerk^, j cried <but send this moment for Teddy Cfr d ]et him nib down the horse, and then t*^ back to the Langley Arms, at Langley Abb«.mlu '< In two minutes more [ had t, ecioUs sermon in mv pocket, and was busily V scanning my trusty bi. Yes, it seemed tho^ f )y sound a little oil might not be amiss, amA* for the race—16 miles m 30 minutes. At first the roads seemed very fair, and j made good progress, causing, however, no litL scandal to the stolid country folk wending their way to ciiurch or etiapel. In After the first three miles my difficulties began an ugly cross road, deep in ruts, and heavy with stones and mud, intervened between me and the high road to Ambluston. To ride my machine, would be, I plainly saw, out of the question. There was no alternative but to walk and push my machi ne. The wretched lane seemed interminable, but like most things, it came to an-end.. i_- i_ With a sigh of relief, I gained the high road, and within five minutes had the satisfaction of passing a milestone, indicating 11 miles to Am- I T) t t < i spd.l, a-> it a kingdom's .=>».'<•'i.y_lit;>i,■ upon .MV succpss; and now tho old da,r:ng feeling i j of recklessness aod exhilarating sensation that I i had io often experienced whenridins-tr) haunls, possessed ie. The ne.it five miles was covered in little mor than 20 r¡¡ititt;S, and that the An- j them was just begun. If I could but keep up the pace, I should have a few minutes to spare. A steep hill now presented itself, and I elected to dismount and walk my machine up the incline rather than expend my muscular energy in riding. From the brow of the hill I had a fine view of my road for nearly a mile. In a moment I was in the saddle, and dashing along at racing speed. Three miles to Ambluston, and, bar- ring accidents, plenty of time to accomplish my task. I could reckon on 17 minutes at least. Presently the stately spire of the old church appeared in sight, and I imagined the Litany would now be well in hand. In turning a corner I almost ran into a gipsy encampment, and earned, or at least gained, a sandwich of oaths and curses, accompanied by a few stones, which, fortunately, did no damage, as I was out of range by the time the missiles were sent after me. "As I rode up to the church door, I saw a decent looking countryman strolling about the churchyard, who readily took charge of my machine, while just within the sacred building my aunt was seated, with one eye on my uncle and the other on the door. The gospel was just concluded, and I took advantage of the people rising to place the important sermon in my aunt's hands. Such beaming gratitude as she looked I never wit- nessed before or since. A discreet verger was close by, and by his agency the MSS. was speedily in mv uncle's possession. I was rather disappointed at first with the discourse, but when I saw the close and intelligent attention the savants bestowed upcn it, I began to think that possibly I was not so competent to appreciate a learned sermon, as to convey it over a distance of 16 miles (walking and riding), in an hour and 12 minutes. Well, the sermon was fully reported in the Guardian, and led to a learned correspondence between my uncle and the Premier. A great deal of ink was used, and much Greek quoted, and the deanery followed. Take another glass, and don't forget my advice, buy a machine and use it.

ATTEMPTED POSTAL FRAUDS BY A CARDIFF MAN. Sentence upon the Prisoner. At the Bristol Quarter Sessions on Thursday, Frederick Johns, alias Lewis Jones, aged 27, described as a commercial traveller, was indicted for unlawfully soliciting, inciting, and endeavour- ing to procure Walter Fisher and others to forge and counterfeit a dye and plate and also a stamp at Bristol and Cardiff, during the months of October and November, 1884-. The accused, who had formerly resided at Cardiff, wrote about October last to Mr Walter Fisher, a printer, carrying on business in Broadmead, Bristol, ask- ing him if he was in a. position to print some postage stamps for him from a dye which would be provided. Prisoner quoted the price which he was prepared to give per thousand and said that if Mr Fisher could give satisfaction he would be able to give him a large order. Prisoner further said that he had disposed of large quan- tities throughout the Rhondda Valley among tradesmen and shopkeepers, at 78 9d per thousand. The suspicions of Mr Fisher were aroused by the prisoner's letter, and he communicated with the police, the result of which was that, after further correspondence with Johns, who was then living at Ferndale, in the Rhondda Valley, he was induced to come to Bristol, when he was apprehended. In the meantime it transpired that he had been in communication with an engraver, named Glass, residing in St Mary-street, Cardiff, with the object of obtaining a die froui which the stamps might be printed. A true bill was found by the jury, and the prisoner, when indicted, pleaded guilty. The Recorder, in passing sentence, said that the pri- soner had been guilty of a very grave offence, and must have well known what he was doing. He was liable to two years' imprisonment, which was very severe punishment. He very much doubted whether he ought not to give him the full amount, because he said, in order to get Mr Fisher to commit this offence, that he had been doing it for five years. Mr Poole, who was retained to prosecute by the Post Office authorities, said that inquiries had been made in the Rhondda Valley, for the purpose of ascertaining whether any stamps had been sold there, and as to whether any such person existed in Birmingham as the manufac- turer described by the prisoner as having made the dies and stamps, and, as far as could be ascertained, these statements were entirely false. His Honour said lie was glad to hear the statements were false, but whether they were or not, the prisoner represented them as a reason why the prosecutor should be induced to commit this great crime against the Post Office. It was one of the most impudent offences lie had ever heaid of, as well as one which was very prejudicial, as tending to destroy the confidence of the public in the Post Office. He must impose upon the prisoner the sentence of 18 months' imprisonment, with hard labour. His Honour said that he believed such cases as the one just disposed of were very rare. Mr Osborne, solicitor for the prosecution, said that it was the first case I which had ever occurred.

CARDIFF CABS COMMITTEE. A meeting of the cabs committee of the Cardiff Corporation was held at the Town Hall on Thurs- day, with respect to the question of the construc- tion of a cabstand insfde the railings in front of Pembroke-terrace, Crockherbtown. which was suggested by a deputation at a special meeting of the cabs committee on the 4th December. It was now decided to allow the matter to stand over. It was resolved to allow fonr cabs to stand at the Town-hall end of the cab- stand, constructed opposite the County Club. It was likewise decided to recommend the council to permit the construction of a cabstand between the Parade and the end of Richmond-road, the stand to accommodate from four to six cabs. It was resolved to recommend that a cabstand be made between Lower Cathedral-road and the union, for six cabs. A proposal to allow three cabs to stand at the pier, opposite the bottom entrance to Bute-terrace, was not adopted.

I A CARDIFF APPRENTICE DROWNED AT SEA. I The following is an extract from a letter re- ceived from Capt. Edwin L. Da vies, of the barque Caroline, of London, on a voyage from Cardiff to Colombo:—"Colombo, 24th Nov., 1884.—On October 24th last one of the boys, Albert Downey, lat. 40, 30 S., long. 25 E., at 7 p.m. We were taking in the mainsail at the time, when the vessel shipped a sea. It is sup- nosed he was washed overboard with it, but no one saw him go."

YANKEE YARNS. Too-ToOTLIC.-This is the way a New York weekly journal describes a newly-arrived aesthetic lecturer-" He stands six foot two in his stockings, has a pair of shoulders like a prize-fighter, wears his hair like a Crow Indian, emulates Signor Marra, the photographic colourist, in the lowness of his shirt-collar, and suggests rather the solid Muldoon of the nineteenth century than a pen- sive and frenetic Florentine of the fourteenth." A GOOD IDEA. A member of the race of Moses who keeps a hand-me-down store on Main street, near the depot, wears a gorgeous diamond pin in his shirt front. Last Tuesday a Christian gentleman went into the stores and made a small purchase. He noticed the pin, he admired it, and he ex- pressed his admiration. That is a very costly pin you wear," he remarked. "Yah, dot ish von tine pin ?"' Do you know what I should do if I owned such a pin ?" Veeping Rachels, vot you does if you owns dot pin, eh ?" I'd wear a clean shirt so that it might have a better setting." And the believer in the Trinity just reached the door in time to avoid the scissors, which Mr Moses threw at him. THE COMIC SIDE OF POLYGAMY. There is a comic as well as a pathetic side to Mormon polygamy. Among the Mormon women in Utah was one who accepted in full faith the polgyamic revelation. She had found in poly- gamy an ample compensation in the supposed right of the first wife to choose her husband's succeeding wives. This was her argument—"If the first wife selects the other wives, it has the effect of showing them that the husband thinks much of her judgment, and is willing to abide by it, and that they will have to do the same. This is, of course, as it should be. But, if she lets her husband choose his own wife, he is almost certain to take a fancy to some one whom the first wife does not like at all, and consequently her autho- rity is undermined. The first wife ought to have all the power in her own hands" The sequel of this lady's story is extremely ludicrous. After she had chosen two other wives for her husband, he was so perverse as to choose a fourth for himself, the fourth being not at all to her liking, as she her- self admitted. This is her own account of the matter—" I tell you,' said I,' I'm quite disgusted with you-a man with three wives-and me one of them—to go talking twaddle to a clattering hussey like that,with her cat s eyes and red hair Gold- en hair, my dear,' he said Charlotte's hair is golden.' I say red-it's straight, staring red- red as red can be, I told him and then we had a regular fight over it. I don't mean that we came to blows, but we had some hot words; and he went out and left us two alone. Then that young hussy was impudent; and I don't know how it was, but somehow, when we lett off our conversa- tion, I fouud some of Charlotte's red hair between my fingers and there, she said innocently, hold- ing OUG quite a good sized tuft of auburn hair— there-I put it to you, Sister Stonehouse-is that red, or is it not?" FILIAL DEVOTION. Not long ago a young man married and started for California with his wife. On leaving the old home his father bade him good-bye and gave him the parental blessing. My son," said the aged sire, shaking with emotion, "remember these words if you never see me again, Never go into a place where you would not take your wife." The couple settled in Mariposa County, and within a year the old man went out to them. He proposed a bear hunt, and they were fortunate enough to track a grizzly to his lair among some of the boul- ders in the chaparral. As the two approached, the bear roused up and sent forth a growl of defiance which shook the trees. Go in there and kill 'im said the old man excitedly. The son held back, further acquaintance with the bear seeming in some respect undesirable. Count me out," he said. "Have I crossed the seas and settled in America to raise a coward ?" shouted the father, brandishing his gun. "I but recollect your ad- vice when I left home." was the reply. How can I forget your sage precepts ? Didn't you tell me never to go into a place where I couldn't take my wife? Now how would Sal look in there with that bear?" The old man clasped his dutiful son to his bosom, and, as the bear issued forth, ex- claimed, Speaking of Sally, let us hasten home our prolonged absence might cause her iieeedles:, alarm." in about, fifteen minutes they had reached the ranch, the old man a little ahead, and the distance was about four miles. A NEAl SHAVE. 11 what 1 am about to relate," writes a travel- ler, happened in a rough mining town in Colorado. There was a grand ball at the ranch of Whisky Jack, a well-known character in the 4 diggings'an(I the (lite of the district responded to the call in full force. The party was held in a rickety old barn belonging to the host, and, with a few red strips of flannel, a grotesque accumula- tion of mountain roses, and a row of dripping candles, the appointments of the place were per- fect. My first partner in the giddy dance was the wife of the man who killed the village postmas- ter because he refused him a letter she was fat, fair, and forty, and danced with the grace ot a cow. My next partner was the daughter of this charming pair, a young girl just bursting into the loveliness of womanhood she was badly freckled, and sported a wart on her nose. My next part.-d ner was a blooming grass widow, a fresh arrival; and then I rested. I began to comment on new fzice5 in the room. My companion in this plea- sant pastime was a heavy-bearded miner, uncouth, roughly dressed, tobacco-slobbered, and very pro- fane. This was our first meeting, and I hoped it would be the last. There goes a hard-looking case,' I whispered, as the wife of the man who killed the postmaster sailed by; 'she's a Vad'un'. 'Yas,'replied the man, 'I'd hate to have the crit- ter stop on me. What an elegant target she would make for a poor inarksinan l' 'Yes,' I said, and turned my eyes 00 a tall raw-boned creature sailing towards us, supported by a little man with sandy whiskers and red-top boots. Here comes the boss.' 'How?' 'The boss, I say ain't she-a lovely phimpanzee?' A what ? Chimpanzee He glared ait me a moment and then reached for his revolver. 'What is a Chim- panzee?' he growled fiercely, his red eyes. grow- ing large. I saw that I had made some mistake, and hastened to explain. Why—why>' I stam- mered, backing off, 'a chimpanzee is a lovely creature found in Africa—nothing so gorgeously beautiful as a chimpanzee That is the highest compliment a lady can receivo.' 'Oh!'and the man looked relieved. 'Yas, I think so myself stranger she is a lovely chimpanzee. She's my wife.' I HAD TO WATCH HER. An old man and his wife were waiKing aiong the street. The wife persisted in looking back every time she passed a woman. What makes you carry ou that way ?" asked the old fellow. 1 reckon I want to see Dan'l." But you don't hafter act like a cow that's bothered with boss flies. Folks'll think you never was in town before." Well, now, jes' shet your mouth. I come here to see. You're allus a fussin' an a fussiD*, and nobody can't have no peace with you. If I want to see how a woman's dress sets it ain't none o' your business, so there." Wall, if you must set1 how all the dresses set, let's stand here till everybody grits dun goin' by. It's distressin' to me to see you twist your neck round that way." Dan'l, for the goodness sake, hush. Folks will think that we live like cats an' dogs. I do think a man is the beatenes' thing 1 ever saw. Fuss, fuss, from mornin' till night. Now, look at you, what air you gazin' at ?" } Lookin' at a set o' harness hangin' up thar. Folks will think you are crazy if you carry on that way." Don't mind me," said the old man. An' don't you mind me," replied his wife. I have to mind you when you twist your neck and hold your head to one side like a goose. You're in danger o' hurtin yourself, It's business with me, for I am lookin' out for a set o' harness." ,f Meeting a fashionable dressed lady, the w1 looked baok. but striking an uneven place on sidewalk, fell sprawling on the ground. mov. Thar exclaimed the old man, withoot mak- ing an effort to assist her. Oh, the Lord fetches everything 'round all right! My goodness said the old Woman* ar-ising I with difficulty, it mighty nigh killed me- "Of course it did, an' it sarves you exactly right. Reckon you'll know how to actj10^' 3 ding it. Gape an' gaze; gape an' gaze all "me, it is a wonder that you ham t Dee" Klilea, "Dan'l, for the Lord's sake, don't scold. You, don't do nothin' but fuss an* fuss all the ti1??- The old man did not reply- He was a" a saddle hanging out in front of a shop. Stepping on a piece of orange peel, his heels flaw lp and he came down with an awful thump. Good gracious, are you hurt, Dan'l The old man groaned, and scuffling to his feet said: Hurt? that's a putty question to ask a dead man. Wall, this the last time you ever come to town with me. You keep a body watchin you so close hp ?<V5 h.,w 1:" wi* Dan'l don't Come on. Lot's git them mules an' git outeu here. I never saw sich a woman :n my life."

KAY'S CCIMPOUID, for COUGHS and Colus, i equally serviceable for Horses and Cattle, Sjd, Is ljd, aad 2* 9d.

FACTS AND FANCIES. Why should artists not affect slouched hats ?— Because chimney-pots would make them draw better. A homely young girl has the consolation ot knowing that, if she lives to be forty, she will be pretty old girl. Spavin says that the assertion Time is money is false, for he often has lots of time on his hands, but no money. A little child was addressed by a gentleman the other day. "How old are you, my dear?" he asked. "Old!" said the child indignantly. I'm not old at all; I'm quite new That's what I call a finished sermon," said a lady to her husband, as they wended their way from church. "Yes," was the reply; "but, do you know, I thought it never would be ?" It is hard to tell which is the more ridiculous, the young fool or the old fool; but the old fool has this advantage—he will never be a young fool, whereas the young fool may some day be an old fool. There is an awful state of affairs in a little Michigan town, where a compositor substituted the word widows for windows." The editor wrote-" The windows of the church need wash- ing badly. They are too dirty for any use, and are a disgrace to our village." "A friend of mine," a correspondent writes to to Truth, recently entered a barber's shop in Spa, and in the course of conversation inquired of the proprietor whether it was a good season. 'No, sir,' replied the man; 'not that there is any fall- ing off in the number of visitors, but they are mostly ladies, and they do not require shaving. Jeems is very fond of his little joke, but he sometimes goes a step too far. On a recent Sun- day evening he was escorting home a young-lady acquaintance who is not ovenvhelmned with ad- mirers and. as ihey passed Columbia Market, a policeman and two or three young men wer.) peering in at the closed gates, one of them remark- ing, "I wonder who's in the market?" You are, I'm told," said Jeems. I won't trouble you to walk any farther," said the fair one, now they meet as strangers. Ay, John," said a Scotch preacher to one of his flock, whom he had missed for a good many Sundays from the Free Church, "so I'm told you've begun to think that we're not in the right road, and that you are going back to the Estab- lishment ?" "Weel, sir," was the reply, "I winna deny but that hae been ganging that gate, and I canna just say that I've ony serious thought o' turning back in the meantime but dinna think, minister, that I hae ony fault to find wi' your road. It's a braw road doubtless, and a safe road but, och, sir, the tolls are awful dear An old Irish song embodies the superstition that the answer given to the question in baptism what the child's name is to be, however absurd, is sacred, and must be held to be the true name. In the song a dosr, answering to the name" Dennis," was making himself too busy at the christening, and had to be checked by the mother, with the result described. "What's his name?" says the priest. "Down, Dennis!" says she. So Down Dennis Bulgruddery they christened me." A similar incident is mentioned in a recent report of the Registration Courts. A claimant at Ilford was found to ba registered Michael Sir Shep- herd," and the explanation given was that his mother, at his baptism, on being asked to" Name this child," responded respectfully, Michael, sir." Accordingly Michael Sir" was his name. A small boy with vague notions of know- ledge but a settled conviction that he was per- sonally to blame for most things that happened, there being not even a cat in the house to share responsibilities with him, was sent most un- willingly to school. In due course it came to his turn ttl answer questions. The master, a stern- looking man, with a voice rendered harsh and grating by perpetual fault-fiudine and scolding, looked straight at him and thundered forth, "Now, sir, new boy, who made the world ?" No answer coming from the startled lad, the question was repeated with .still more emphasis. Still no reply from the new-comer, who trembled visibly on his seat. The master, losing all prttience, brought his rule down with thundering violence and shouted once more, "ViII you tell me, sir, who made the world ?" It was too much with deadly conviction of his own enormities, the boy sobbed, Please, sir, I did but I'll never do it again The Berlin Musik Welt says that an eminent pianist was presented, during his late visit to Switzerland, with the customary Gewevbeschein— legitimation of craft—of the Canton le Valais, the tenour of which runs as follows Legitimation for strolling handicraftsmen and artists.—The Financial Department grants permission to Mr to pursue for one month his industry as pianist." Then follows the description of the individual, with the reminder that the bearer of this paper must be prepared at any time to show the same toa police-officer whenever asked for." At the foot of this formidable document the qualifications of the "strolling artist" are more particularly specified thus-" Strolling artists: comedians, singers, musicians, photo- graphers, circus-riders, tightrope-dancers, jug- glers, &c. also panoramas, menageries, and other exhibitions of art and of natural curiosities, thirty francs per month, and one franc extra for the stamp." The possessor of the Gezoerbesekein is moreover enjoined to have it viséd, before every performance, at the local police office-cost, 25 centimes-not to mention numerous other minor regulations of a similar nature. THE MAN WHO WATCHED,-One day recently, soon after the hour of noon, an individual who seemed to be labouring under considerable excite- ment entered a grocery-store on Michigan Avenue, Detroit, and asked for a pri vate word with the proprietor. When the request had been granted, he explained, I believe myself to be an injured husband, and I wtnt to verify my suspicions by watching a house in the next street. This I can best do from the rear of your store. Have you any objection to my taking a seat at the back there by the open window?" The grocer granted the favour, and the agitated stranger walked to the back and took a seat on a box of cod-fish and began his watch. His presence had been almost forgotten, when he returned to the front of the store with hasty steps and quivering voice and said, "By Heaven, I'll kill her Yes, I'll shoot her through the heart 11 Your wife?'' Yes, my idolised Mary I can no longer doubt her guilt, and I'll be a murderer in l.ess than ten minutes The grocer tried to detain him, but he broke away and rushed rouvd the corner. Not hearing anything further of iiiii, for half an hour, the grocer began to investigate 5 and he discovered g' that fourteen rolls of butter, f^ock of lard two hams, and other stuff had the back end[ of the store by way of the wind^at which the watchful husband had been stati**116"- A TYPE-GRUBBER.1S of,^B brother of Douglas Jerrold—j^enry—that, although he did not possess the incisIve wit of his brother, he could be elaborately sarcastic at times. Some twenty-five yea.s aS« ho ?bt^u caS"al employ- ment at a prh.cmg-ottice in Melbourne from the overseer, and* Harry had just finished one of his overlan^.tra™Ps' his appearance was neither sweet nor inviting. He was hirsute, grimy, raarged, a,.d sun-embrowned, and his eyes had the gleam of insipient insanity. The boss of th" shop, a dainty finical person, came in end stared at the new hand very fixedlyi after which he indulged in several abrupt uneasy sniffs, contorting his visage into an ex- pression of deep disgust. Finally he ordered his foreman to dismiss Jerrold; but, as they were short-handed and pushed for assistance, the fore- man declined the task; so the master-printer himself, with a deal of sniffing and lordly affecta- tion, interjected to Harry, I say—ah, you are discharged—go!" Jerrold, who had been no unobservant spectator of the other's antics, glared contemptuously at the speaker, and waving his hand, bawled, "Away you agglomeration of diseased cat's-meat! In the language of Colonial magpies, I demand-who are you ?" The printer replied irascibly, ia a transport of turkey-cock indignation, Ha, dash it, this is too much Fellow, I am the proprietor "The proprietor!" echoed Harry, slamming down his stick on the upper case,and striking a splendid theatrical atti- tude. "The proper rioter Gracious Heavens"— modulating his voice for a tragical display— wonderful and inscrutable are the ways of Providence Verily this is an annus inirabilis-- or, to bring down my intelligence to your paltry level, it is an age of marvels. The world is turned upside down since here, at the Antipodes, am I, the brother of the renowned Douglas Jerrold, grubbing up type ;or a. mountebank jigmarec, a semi-civilised chimpanzee, I believe. Go—go yourself to Jericho Then, bursting mto au operatic bravura, "All is lost !'he sang so exceedingly well that his employer, who had I musical crass, was stricken with astonishment, asked Jerrold c. pardon, and requested him to stop as long as he liked. Jerrold replied with a Shakesperiaa quotation, but when ho got an aa- vance of ready money in: disappeared, aad hi& hrair.e was to let'' ú"J,:1J,

CARDIFF SCHOOL BOARD. A Question of Grants. I A monthly meeting of the above body was held at the Town-hall on Thursday, Mr Lewis Williams presiding, and there being also present the Revs. C. J. Thompson, Vincent Saulez, G. A. Jones; Messrs J. Cory, J. Gunn, T. Rees and Drs Edwards and Wallace. GENERAL PURPOSES COMMITTEE SCHOOL GRANTS. The report of this committee stated that in the last Government schedule of grant to Severn-road board school a sum of JS95 3s was shown to have been deducted from the gross grant earned by the school under article ll4 of the new code. In calculating last month the 2-5ths payable to the teachers, the sum withheld by the Government was, with the sanction of this committee, first de- ducted, and the teachers were paid 2-5ths of the residue only. The committee, on re-consideration, were of opinion that it would not be fair to the teachers who had worked well during the year, and obtained the "excellent" grant, to subject them to a loss for which they were not responsible, and it was therefore resolved to recommend that they should receive two-fifths of the full grant. Applications from candidates to fill vacancies of the teachers were examined, and it was resolved to invite the following to attend the board meeting :—Wm. George Powell (Bargoed), Samuel Davies (Fochriw), Wm. James Hole (Canton), Dan Burn (Roath), James Davies (Blaina), and J. D. K. C. Davies (Cwmavon).—A letter, dated 19th December, from the Great Western Railway Company, was read. The company ask the board to sell them a small corner of the Wood-street playground, about 2 square yards in extent, for the purpose of improving at the turn a new road proposed to be made from the bridge at the end of Wood-street to the railway station.— It was resolved to recommend the board to com- ply with this request. In consequence of objec- tions made by residents and owners of property in Romilly-road to the proposed site, the com- mittee agreed to recommend the board to adopt another site in Pembroke-road, or near thereto, subject, however, to the following conditions That the owners consent, to sell without a provi- sional order, and that all necessary roads and sewers be first made. After seeing the candidates for the vacant teacherships, the board appointed the following Messrs Powell, Hole, J. Davies, and J. D. K. C. Davies. The report of the committee was adopted. I THE HIGHER GRADE SCHOOL. I The higher grade school committee suggested in a report that the following should be subjects of instruction in the higher grade s.chool :-Boys chemistry, mechanics, animal physiology, physics, (i) sound, light, and heat, (ii) magnetism and elec- tricity girls botany, animal physiology, and domestic economy. The CHAIRMAN mentioned, with respect to the opening of the school by Mr Mundella, that he had received a letter from Lord Aberdare, whose guest the right hon. gentleman would be, stating that Mr Mundella would visit Cardiff on Tues day, the 13th inst., to open the school in the afternoon, and address a public meeting in the Public hall. Queen street, in the evening. Intimations of the exact time at which the ceremony would take place—he thought about 2.30—would be sent out, and he hoped all the members of the board would attend. The opening of the school, he thought, would be formal, and that Mr Mundella would reserve him- self for the evening. The Mayor was very anxious that the town should show its appreciation of Mr Mundelln's efforts on behalf of education, and he had decided to give a banquet on Wednesday afternoon, to which members of the school board were to be invited. The report was adopted. I SCHOOL GRAKTS. The Rev.. C. J. THOMPSON, in accordance with notice, called attention to the 114th clause of the new code of the Education Act, which he called a fining clause. A school might earn a large grant as the result of good management and great efficiency on the part of its teachers, but ac- cording to this clause the grant must not exceed the greater of two definite amounts. One was the capitation grant of 17s 6d on the average attendance. If the grant made by a school was in excess of that, then it was knocked off, but there was a saving clause—that if the iucome of the school, minus the grant received, was equal in amount to, or greater than, the amount earned, then the whole grant might be received. This pressed very hard on all schools, he said. The I Severn-road School had been mulcted, after the last, inspection, ia a sum of 995 on the grant earned, the result of which was a ioss to the management of the school whilst it led to some- thing like a misunderstanding between the board and its teachers. Inasmuch as the government grant was intended to encourage good work in a school, and to support the school every school, he contended was entitled to the full amount of what it earned. The clause seemed to him to put a premium upon inefficiency, extravagant expenditure, and acted as a dis- couragement. He moved This board present a memorial to the Education Department setting forth the hardships resulting from the operation of clause 114 of the new code, and praying for its repeal or such a modification of its existing pro- visions as will allow an efficient school to receive in full the grant it earns in examination." The CHAIRMAN asked Mr Thompson whether it would not serve his purpose to oppose that motion upon the effect of the change on the Severn-road school. Mr THOMAS "REES, who seconded Mr Thomp- son's motion, felt very strongly on this matter, and thought the arrangement imposed by the clause most unwarranted. There was one satis- faction, and that was that the Education Act as well as the code were tentative in their character, and he thought that possibly a strung representation as to the injustice and impolicy of the clause might lead to its alteration. It was quite out of harmony with the Education Act and its intention, it was not a pleasant thing by any means for a board or school management to contemplate earning £1 Os lOd for every pupil presented, aud then to receive only 17s 6d. He regarded it, in the words of Mr Thompson, as putting a premium upon inefficient teaching. The CHAIRMAN thought Mr Thompson would recollect that there was a discussion in the House on this clause, and that the idea was to maintain and increase the efficiency of the schools. He thought it was a part of the compacu made when Mr Gladstone was asked to give an extra 25 per cent. to the voluntary schools. He knew it was shown at that time that the clause was a sateguard, and referred principally to the voluntary schools. The clause had come into force since the voluntary schools obtained an increase of 25 per cent., and the view then taken by the education advisers in the House was that without such a clause many of the schools would be dependent solely upon the children's pence, and what could be got from the Government grant, and that unless there was a qualification such as this, efforts would not be made by managers of the so-called voluntary schools to get up subscriptions. As far as they were concerned he thought the reason for the course taken with respect to the Severn-road Board School was indicated clearly if they referred to the Government Inspector's report upon it last year and this. It stated last year, The teaching staff would bear strengthening." That was in the boys' school. This year the report said, There have been vacancies in the staff which were not promptly and properly filled up." He (the chairman) took it that the 114th clause was intended to keep up the efficiency of the schools the department thought that otherwise schools might secure the grant by merely teaching the three R's. He again suggested that Mr Thomp- son should deal with the Severn-road School on its own merits. Mr REES thought the remarks of the chairman called for his attention, as those which referred to the staff at Severn-road School reflected upon him. The CHAIRMAN It is not a reflection upon yourself.. • Mr GUNN said it would 'not be creditable to them as a board, and it would not be justice to the ratepayers to punish people who had worked so admirably as the, Severn-road teachers. There might be cases in which it was necessary to keep the teaching staff up to a standard of efficiency by such a clause as this, but in the present case the circumstances were wholly different. If lVIr Thompson would confine his resolution to the particular case of the Severn-road School he would support it, but he thought it would be rather cut of the province of the board to express an opinion upon the working of the clause else- where, as they were not familiar with it. Mr REES said Mr Greig's school was referred to as being somewhat understaffed. According to the inspector's report, he found there was an average attendance of 297 boys there were occa- sionally to be found in that school about 305 boys possibly. Now, so long as the board provided .!10 staff which the department demanded as a mllll- mum, what could the department say ? He was prepared to say that the board had gone a long way beyond this. He gave particulars of the teaching staff, and said that 360 boys were pro- vided for, which was a long way be- yond the Education Department minimum. | Then why should th-y be charged with keeping a low staff? 'With respect to the I girl's school be granted that there might have been girl's school be granted that there might have been j times when the staff hinged on the minimum, but it could not be helped when teachers were in a'ld staved away. Teachers were not Kept on u shelf labelled and ready for use. Notwithsland- ing ail this, charges such a? in tha inspector's report were moie. He said they \V8ft all nonsense, and that they were "1?iade by into who wanted to justify their existence- In tW course of some other remarks, it was mentioreo that the Severn-road School was themostsuccessfu in Wales, it having passed 100 per cent., and obtained the highest possible grant. The Rev. C. J. THOMPSON remarked that there were four fining clauses, and that if the Severn- road Board School had been fined for inefficient of the staff, it would have been fined, not unde! clause 114, but under another clause, and, there1 fore, the remarks of the chairman with respect to the inspector's report did not apply. After some other discussion, and an amend' ment having been proposed by the chairman an^ duly seconded by Mr Gunn, the Rev. C. J' Thompson so altered his resolution as to meet the views of the proposer of the amendment, and thi resolution which was adopted read as follows "This board having had,before it the lastreport or the Severn-road School (according to which that school suffers a deduction of 295), and clause 114 of the code, and having considered the question generally, present a memorial to the Education Department setting forth the hardships resulting from such clause, and praying either for its repeal or for such a modification of its existing provisions as will allow an efficient school to receive in full th# grant it earns in examination.' There was no other business of public interest

THE RHYMNEY RAILWAY EXTENSION. The new line of railway between Cyfarthfa and Quaker's Yard, which places the Cyfarthfa works and collieries in direct connection witb the Rhymney and Great Western Railways, was opened for ulineral traffic on Thursday. MJ Evans, the traffic manager of the Rhymney Rail- way, was at the new line on Thursday. The firsit mineral train consisted of 21 mineral wagonS from the Cyfarthfa collieries. These were brought direct to Cardiff, and shortly afterwards trains ol empty wagons went up and a regular service established. The new line will send an important addition to the minerals carried on the RhymneJ Railway, as the whole of the traffic from tlid Cyfartbfa works and collieries will be carried over the new line, either by the Rhymney or the Great Western Railway Company, who are joint, owners of the line.

LANTWIT AND BLACK VEIN COLLIERY, CAERPHILLY. Our district mining reporter, writing on Thurs- day night, states :-A great amount of conster- nation was created throughout Caerphilly on Wednesday evening, by a report that 100 hands had been dismissed at the above colliery. This rumour unfortunately proved to be true. Wheii the men came to the surface on Wednesday after- noon a list was posted at the office, containing the names of those not required for future working. The reasons for such an action on the part of ths company is quite a mystery to the men.

ALLEGED EMBEZZLEMENT AT MONMOUTH. At the Monmouth borough police court —before Messrs George Griffin, Thomas JameSi and T. W. Oakley, and Alderman HyanJ —George Thomas Filton was charged on twO counts of obtaining two sums of 15s and 12s 6o respectively from Walter Henry Worth. Th0 prosecutor is an agent for the Royal Live* Friendly Society at Gloucester, and appointed prisoner as his sub-agent for Moiim nith. Prisone* had sent him the two weekly returns produced) each accompanied by a letter. The two siun3 named were advanced by prosecutor owing to the returns made by prisoner, which were after- wards found to be entirely fictitious, no single insurance having been effected. Prisoner waS committed for triitl at the quarter-sessions on each charge. He applied for bail, which was grantedi but he was removed in custody pending the sureties being forthcoming.

VOLUNTEER INTELLIGENCE. Presentations at CHckhowell. It being the desire of the volunteers that ther< should be a public presentation of the silver teS, kettle subscribed for as a token of the respect 01 the C Company for their captain, on the occasiot of his recent marriage, the Crickhowell volun- teers, with a number of friends, were invited to a cold collation at the Bear Hotel, on Nef Year's eve. Captain Davies occupied the chait. and was supported by Col. Gwynne, Assistant' Surgeon Hill, Lieut. Whitting, Mr R. H. A. Davies, Mr R. S. B. Sladen, and Mr R. Camp' bell. Orderly-room-Sergeant Evans was the vice- chairman. Among the ladies present were Mr E. G. Davies, Mrs Gwynne, Miss Ellen Gwynne. and Miss Bell. The usual loyal toasts having been duly honoured, Col. GWYNNE said that he felt it a great com' pliment to be allowed to present this tea-kettle to both Mrs Davies and her husband as a marriage present from the past and present volunteers ol the Crickhowell Company. The tea-kettle bore the following inscription Presented by Col. Gwynne, on behalf of th< past and present officers and members of thi Crickhowell Company of the Breconshire Volun, teers, to Capt. and Mrs E. Gratrex Davies, ot their marriage, November 26, 1834." Mr R. H. A. DAVIES, the secretary of the local cricket club, then presented Capt. and Mrs Davies on behalf of the club with a silver salver as 9 token of regard. He said Capt. Davies had been the leading spirit of the cricket clut for many years—indeed, since its forma' tion. The salver was inscribed as follows Presented by the members of the Crickhowell cricket club to Capt. and Mrs E. Gratrex Davies on their marriage, November 26th, 1884." Capt. DAVIES said it was with the greatest pride he returned thanks for those handsome pre' sents from his fellow volunteers and cricketers. The CHAIRMAN then proposed the Health of Col. Gwynne," who responded, and, in conclusion) begged them to drink the Health of theit worthy Captain," who again replied. Other toasts followed, and in the course of the evening several songs were sung.

THE WELSH IN LONDON. [FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENT. J The members of the newiy-formed Camb Briton Society met on Tuesday evening at th6 Devonshire House Hotel to elect officers and to consider matters of detail. After a hot discus' sion, it was decided that the weekly meetings of the society shall be held at the Cannon-street Hotel. The attractions of the meetings, which will be devoted principally to the reading of papers and debates thereon, are to be increased by the admission of light refreshments and per' mission to smoke. An attempt to introduce alcoholic drinks was frustrated by the strenuouj opposition of the temperance party. The elec' tion of officers proceeded by nomination and ballot. Dr. Morgan Davies, of the Londoi1 Hospital, was appointed president, and Mg Robert Parry, B.A., son of the Rev. Griffitb Parry, Aberystwith, vice-president; for the first session- Mr Maurice Williams, M.R.C.S., Finsbiiry-square, was elected treasurer, and Mt T. J. Davies, B.A., son of the Rev. Griffith Davies, of Cardigan, was appointed honorarj secretary. The first general meeting of the society will be held on the 23rd instant. On Wednesday evening a lrge number of the, Welsh poor of the East End. was treated to a tea at the Zion Schoolroom, "techapel. A public meeting was afterw»rti?, held, Mr H. Lloyd Hughes in the chair.. Addresses were delivered by several gentlei»0p^nte^ested in Welsh mission work in London »nd *he Welsh missionaiies. Mrs Watts Hughes and her pupils added to the interest of the evening by contributing severalt songs. Considerable satisfaction is expressed i London Welsh circles at the fact that! Professor Rhys has been selected to give thai Hibbert Lectures for 1885. The subject chosen, viz., is also one of the greatest intent to Welsh people. "fhe Rev. John Evans (Eglwysbach) has just completed the publication of the first volume of sermons preached by him at the City Road Chapel. The volume contains twelve discourses 011, amongst other subjects, the death of Hiraethog and of the Duke of Albany, on the Temperance question, and on Religious reform as a political good." I am given to understand that the Welsh Wesleyans are making strenuous efforts to signalise the stay of Mr Evans amongst them 1:>1'. completing the payment of the debt yvt on tiib chapsl duriug the period of his ministration in London. j Prilltcél and Published by UI< iJro;a-.etori,i at their Steam Priutiu Works,76aad76,St. Mary-stree;, and Weatgate.stKftfr in the town of Cardiff in th* Cwaosy or GiamorgM I