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VO-OAYt SHORT STORY.] Uncle…

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VO-OAYt SHORT STORY.] Uncle Dudley's Aid to Progress. jr .————— By S. E. KISER. I (ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.) I It is not in Uncle Dudley Bostwick's nature to take things merely as they come. WTiile reading in his farm journal one day, his attention was claimed by an item con- taining the information. that cows are especially fond of the music of the bagpipe. "By playing a bagpipe in the barnyard," tfie writer explained, "cows can be induced to give more milk than they would otherwise, and they make less fuss about it than when they are operated on in the ordinary way. This is a fact that has been demonstrated ty science, and the time is probably coming when every well-regulated dairy_will have its corps of paid pipers." Uncle Dudley, who owns a profitable dairy a short distance from the city, was not slow to act. "1 don't believe," he said to Pomeroy, his hired man, "in waitin' for other people to take the lead. The man who does that never gets far ahead in this world. Look at the men that have done the great things. None of 'em ever waited for somebody else to do what they done first. Moees was the first that ever started out in his business. It was the same with Washington, Lincoln, and all the rest. If they'd waited around to let somebody else go ahead and try it, where would they be to-day? So it is a 1t through life. You can't ever be a leader from back behind somewhere." Pomeroy said he didn't believe in the bag- pipe theory, but he was silenced with logic 1 that was not likely to be put aside. "Why are you workin' here for me, Dave?" Uncle Dudley demanded. "It am t because you haven't had just as many chances in this world aa I've had. The trouble is, you haven't the go-ahead spirit. If you had the courage to try things before other people think of it. instead of bein' a hired man, you'd be hirin' people." Uncle Dudley went to a Scotch clothing ptore in town the next day, and found where I he could hire a piper who was out of a job. "I dunno," the old man said after he had t-aken a long look at Sandy, "whether you d best come with them kind of clothes on or not. Did you ever meet a cow when you was dressed that way?" "Hoot, mon! Gan awa' replied the piper, who was a native of Connecticut, "gin the maun come this way, I won't come at all." He had once played the Laird in "Trilby," but that was in happier days, before his thirst had become chronic. Now, the "hie- land" costume furnished by the clothing company was the only suit he possessed. His inclination to give it up was, therefore, due to no inborn prejudice. "It ain't the bare legs I'm thinkin' about specially," Uncle Dudley explained, "but I thought mebby if you left off that red petti- coat and the shawl, the cows might give down better. It's aJl right, though, if you can't play without 'em. Come along, and we'll see how it works. If this thing turns out proper, I'll probably want to hire you by the month. Couldn't you make it go all right with a pair of them long golf stockin's on?" The piper insisted that his costume was aJl it should be for the best results from the pipes, and he arrived at farm during the next forenoon, when he W'B4 conducted through the sheds and barns by Uncle Dudley. "There," the old gentleman said, nodding &t a barrel as they were passing through the carriage house, "is some of the best hard cider in this county. Of course, if you can't play as well without the red petticoat, it's all right. Do they take much to hard cider in Scotland ?" "Well," replied the piper, forgetting his dialect, "I never saw any over there." Uncle Dudley explained how much sugar and how many pounds of raisins were required to make a barrel of cider yield the best results, and then led the way to the milking yard, where the piper was to operate later in the day. "Do you have to have your legs bare when you're just learnin' the thing, too?" the old man asked. The piper explained that one might learn it up to a certain point with trousers on; and other matters claiming Unole Dudley s attention, Sandy was then left to amuse him- self as he pleased. If he had been watched, he might have been seen making frequent trips to the carriage-house; but every bod y about the place waa busy, and he therefore used his long ?traw undisturbed. Aunt Priscilla and her sister, Mrs. Weldorc, who had been peeping around corners at him. without permitting themselves to be seen, tihaugfrt Sandy remained in the vicinity of the aider barrel because of a native modesty be had not openly acknowledged. I s'pose," said Uncle Dudley's consort. he natoheLly feels shy with his bare legs I around where he knows there's women.* I don't see why he can't put trousers on when I be ain't PlaYin', though." "Well," th? other lady replied, "these musi- ci- are -cgtly ecentric one way or another. Yoa alwa3?s hear of 'em wea.rin' long hair or dressn' peculiar, 30 maybe this is just his way Off bein,, a genius." Uncle Dudley had approached while they were discussing the subject, and he explained that piping was an a,rt that demanded bare kneee. He had trustworthy information to that effect, and scouted his sister-in-law's theory. "Seems kind of strange, though," Aunt Priscilla said; "pipers must have their lungs in the same place other people have, ain't tney ?" Uncle Dudley didn't stop to discuss the sub- ject, but, going out to the carriage-house, he found Sandy sitting in the back end of the spring waggon, with his bare legs danglings I down. "Of course," said the old man, "you know more about this pipin' than I do; but if you think trousers wouldn't interfere with your piaym, I could lend you a pair, just as well as not." Sandy grunted, and began to pipe mourn- fully. "Or we could let you have & sheet or a blanket, or something that would come fur- ther down than the petticoat, if that- rhe piper emitted a blast that Uncle Dudley interpreted as a sign of displeasure and, returning to where the ladies were, he )aId: We've got to let him have his own way about this thing. It's wrong to interfere in professional matters a body don't under- stand, anyhow. I S'pose if we hire him steady, we'll get used to it in time." The piper continued to imbibe hard "iff. until niilking-time, when Uncle Dudley found him leaning against the barnyard gate, laughing softlv to himself. The cows were d"e' up from ?? pastures, and Pomerov, ana T the boys he had to help him, got their pails ready for action. "I want to milk one of 'em myself," Uncle Dudley said, "so I can see just what effect the music has. I guess I'll take old Spot there. She s always been a hard milker. If she gives down easy to-night, it'll be a sure lign that the plan works. We could still arrange about a blanket or table-cloth, or Ktaiotbing to hide the red petticoat," he said turning to Sandy, "if you think it would be be6t. Hadn't you. better stay outside the fence? Mebby. the cows would rather have their first pipin' not too close." "No," said the piper, who had staggered through the sate, "'m goin' to play 'n here, 0,' 1 won't play 't aU. I'll shew you some pipin' uiat 11 make you 'n the cows think of the bonnie hrown hills far. far awa'. "All ready, boys!" shouted Uncle Dudley, 88 he sat down beside old Spot. "Go ahead, ■anag! There was a long, low, plaintive wail from the pipes, which gradually became louder, a.nd assumed the general charts- teristies of the noise produceti by seven eats on an empty shed. Aunt Priscilla Molld her sister looked on from a safe distance behind the horse-barn, and a dog that had been decenrtly following a team down. the road came bounding into the yard barking furiously. Then Sandy, in the full Itiory of his hiand" costume, began to stride in and out among the cows, playing S' deox li-te. ? oooasMnaAly whcoping like an Indi;an   seconds from the t?nne tttearst note was so?ind? thirty cows were -2sbing hith- and thither. bellowing Uke mad. Unole DlWil€y kicked over ? Partly disabled, but by crawling beMnd the pu.mp he -ed bå.mse!f. T tWD milk- hig boys mana?l to get into the barn with- oat suffering senous injuries, and Pomeroy rushed for the fence. ou-jl ? the dog barked, stbli ATm?? Pritscilla ?od M?. Weldon scr?m?dM every- thmg they could tim? of at such  notice, and still Sandy pip? ? yS''ed nmMI a big bnndle cow with horns tw were made for better timn?a. crazed eitW" [ by t?e mU9ic or the piper's costume or bo?. rwbed at him, with her head ?owu 8tnd her tail up. "Look oo;t!" yelled Pomeroy from behind the femee; but t-he warning was too late. The wailing ceased suddenly. Tile bagpipe tie. tine" way and the pipeor another. He landed on top of a small straw stack, where he remained, more sober than he had been for years, until they had driven the cows down the lane and rescued Uncle Dudley. Some parts of the pipes were never found. "Dare," said the old ma'D, when they bad h«fep€<d him into the bouse, don't ever go try=, to be a leader. The happiest people i,. th, world age them that ain't merer hea.rd of for what they-ve done. When a man Zeta to bem, great, the saddest days of his life coaKmeeoe. YoWIl find a lot in the books llife Ute tro?Mes of C:esar and Cromwell, ¡¡.bool. much about a?7 fun they ever bad. b you'd write a letter to the fool I. of tha farm paper tellin' him to atop edi1,or 0 '1w my *ub-riiptim. zigbt away."

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