Evening Express

TO-DAY'S SHORT STORY.] The Derby of the Dead. "The assumed name of Mr. L. Sleeves has been registered." This announcement appeared regularly every year in the Racing Calendar. But long before the Jockey Club, in the interest of honest sport, had insisted on the registra- tion of aseumed names, it had been generally known upon the Turf that L. Sleeves" stood for "Lawn Sleeves," and that this was the fanciful nomenclature ¡. selected for himself by the Hon. and Rev. George Bing, one of the very last and best of the good, old-fashioned hunting parsons. I The Rev. George was a wealthy man. His eldest brother was a peer of the realm. Another brother went into the Army, and George, as a dutiful younger son, followed the correct family tradition, and went into the Church. Later, he was presented with the family living—also according to tradi- tion. He lived permanently in Yorkshire, amongst his own people. By them he was greatly beloved. For he hunted six d'ays a wook, and preached short sermons in a simple white surplice on Sunday. Being a Bing, sport was the breath of his nostrils. Being a sportsman, he could not bear to part with the pick of the thorough- bred stock that he reared with infinite judgment. He saw, as a sportsman should, in every whinnying colt that raced down the long, rich paddocks a.t sundown an embryo Derby winner. He never went near a racecourse, and he never made a bet. But his sideboard groaned with trophies. There was, however, one crumple on the roee-leaf of his success. Never in his racing career had the Fates given him a Derby; ever had the crowning triumph been denied him." Once, late in life, when the great race seemed at his mercy, he ran a red-hot certainty" that never got placed at all. Row this came abont no man may say, for the same colt romped home for the Leger, and came back to the weighing-room amidst a. blank and ominous silence that would have turned into a storm of groans and hisses had the jockey worn any colours save those of Mr. Sleeves." Even as it was, a section of the sporting press commented in veiled, but very sarcas- tic terms on the event. The thorn rankled in the sporting flesh of Mr. Sleeves." And thenceforward mystery began to enshroud his stable. He had hither- to courted the fullest publicity. He now detcTmined to keep his racing secrets to him- self. If the public kn&w nothing of his horses and their chances, he hoped that they would bet lees. As a fact, the contrary was the result, which is only human nature. Then quite suddenly he moved his horses from the public stable near Langdon Wold, farther north, to his own fine private estate of Crow- field. When a few touts tried to follow him, his keepers caught them, and they were proee- cu-ted and fined as trespassers. Notices declared the presence of man-traps and spring-guns. Finally, when repeated finee and threatenings failed to cool the ardour and enterprise of the more daring, the head keeper was admonished to take counsel with the head lad, and thereafter to ask no ques- tions. A tout with two black eyes was the result. He told an unsympathetic magistrate, of whom he demanded a warrant, that he had been suddenly sprung upon by unseen men, who pinned him down till they gagged and blind-folded him. Subsequently they tied him in an undignified attitude across a gate, and chastised him after the manner of infante, but more severely, with the buckle end of a stirrup leather. He said that as a result he could not sit down. And it was obvious that Ihe could not. The magistrate said: "If you do it again, you will probably get another thrashing, so don't." And he didn't. After that touting ceased. At last, therefore, in a measure, peace came •to the Hon. and Rev. George. It was well that it did, lor his doctor was becoming seriously anxious concerning his health, which was not improved by the commence- ment of his annual fret over the Derby. His two-year-olds had swept the board in the autumn. As three-year-olds, they came ou wonderfully in the spring. Anchorite won the Two Thousand Guineas by a couple of comfortable lengths. He had the exact measure of the form of the year, so far as it was publicly known. llnrl he had in The Friar a. maiden three-year-old who could give Anchorite a stone. The public were backing Anchorite, of course. But they fancied Trentham, too, for he had not run in the Guineas, and belonged to a smart division which rarely made mis- takes. The Hon. and Rev. George heard of these things daily and often, for he was not a man to lag behind the times, and a private telephane wire to the nearest town hnk him to civilisation. He also set up a clicking tape machine, which an enterprising news agency sought to push by giving brief dis- criptive accounts of popular events over the wire. Its failure to print correctly at oritical moments amused him. One day, however, he felt annoyed. The tape that spasmodically jerked out the latest Turf movements showed that Anchorite had gone back in the betting. Why? For one I irritable instant he raged at the thought that some sneaking tout had after all invaded his sanctuary and discovered the qualities of The Friar. Then he smiled as the tape clicked out the truth. It reported with regret that the well-known owner, Mr. Sleeves," was seriously indisposed. But even as he read, the smile vanished; lor the implication of the rumour was clear. Anchorite had gone back in the betting because it was thought that before the race could be run Mr. Sleeves might be dead. The Hon. and Rev. George set his teeth, btkI turned to the telephone. That night a clever yo-urig doctor left Lon- don, and was driven to the Towers in the morning by the family physician. I don't want a fuss," said the Hon. and 3tev. George. And no experiments. Patch me up till after the Derby, that's all." Mr. Ransome was installed at the Towers, and thoroughly enjoyed himself. He noted with the keen eye of a professional observer that The Friar and not Anchorite was the horse on which the heart of the Hon. and Rev. George was set. The Friar was rarely mentioned in the latest betting—when he was. odds were quoted at 66 to 1. The odds against Anchorite varied with the reports of his owner's health. The connection was explained to Mr. Ransome without emotion by the Hon. and Rev. George, who added That's why you must patch me up." Pondering there came to him a great temp- tation—66 to 1. It was wrong to make use of a secret imparted to him professionally by a patient, but—66 to If Young doctors have got to make great sacrifices to keep up appearances in the early critical periods of their career—66 to 1 in hundreds. Relief from debt, freedom from worry, position, fortune —66 to 1 in thousands. Sixty-six to one! That night he slept badly, and the figures danced about the ceiling and sat at the foot of his bed. Sixty-six thousand to one thousand! No more struggling and debt—if his last shilling had to go—" Ruin, or Harley Street," he said to himself. And temptation overcame his last scruple. Ho wrote a discreet 1,etter to a discreet friend, and gave the needful undertakings concerning the payment in the improbable event of loss. He was staking his all, and he tatew it. But the risk was so very slight. Nevertheless, it weighed with him, and shook his confidence in that application of medical science with the Eton. and Rev. George needed more constantly every day. He would not have doubted his power to save an ordinary life. Now he began to fear that he was fight- ing with Fate for a fortune. In London, the news spread that the condi- tion of the Hon. and Rev. George was critical. Betting men rather resented a dis- location of the Market hy the untoward cir- cumstance. We're layin' against the bloomin' Uoctor, not against the horse," said a fielder of the Anchorite. Which was true. Odds would have been shorter if the fielder had known why the doctor was trying tQ win. When the clicking-taps machine announced that the hors173 of Mr. S'eeve5" had safely arrived at Epsom, the Hon. and Rev. George had a, whole day free from pain. When they were alone the night nurse shook her head. On Tuesday morning, something went wrong with the telephone, and it was dumb for a couple of hours. The Hon. and Rev. George fretted and fumed. Mercifully, the bell rang soon, and out of the wheezing metallic crackle of the receiver came tho trainer's voice to ea-y that all was well. Excitement and irritation had induced exhaustion and prosUfation, however. The curses and Bansoiae nad an anxious after- noon and a still more trying night. Sleepless at his window, Ransome saw the first pale shadow of the dawn drawn like a shroud of amethyst over the purple splendour of the heavens. Slowly the diamond stars sank drowning in a golden sea. The black outline of the rolling' moor was lit and splashed with sudden glories. The tin!!lp. of a full sea wind was mellowed by the scent of heather and softened by the taste of clean, sweet earth. There was life in every breath of it. For a moment he forgot even his patient- forgot Epsom and horses, and that this was Derby Day. Then the door opened, and the night nurse beckoned him. In an instant he knew that the struggle had begun, and that this last encounter would be desperate. Patch me up," came the old supplication, "Only till three The Derby was timed to be run at three o'clock. Spar lor time," whispered the Hon. and

Empire Day Celebrations at Court Road School, Cardiff, (1) Saluting. the Colours. (2) Cheering the Colours. (3) Staff of the Boys' School, with Councillors Hr. Smith and Sydney Jenkins (seated). (4) The March Past.

LIFE OF A PIMPLE. I LONDON, Monday. 'I The dispensers of Cadum, the new skin dis- covery, aek that notice be given that no one ie urged to purcha.se it in quantities without first obtaining a 6d. package. Those who have tried it will find that the 6d. box on sale at Boots, Ltd., and other chemists, is sufficient to cure the worst case of eczema where the surface affected is not too large. The itching ceases on first application. It will also oUore acne, tetter, blotches, scaly scalp, hives, barber's and every form of itch, including inching feet. Being flesh-coloured, the presence of Cadum on exposed surfaces, suoh as the face and hands, is not perceptible. The regular eize sells at Is. The 6d. size alone is sufficient to clear the comip-lexioji overnight, and to olea.r the face of pimples. e7

For Women Folk. I HOMELY HINTS AND DAINTY DISHES I For washing day collect all scraps of soap, dissolve in water with two tabl?spoonfuls of ammonia liquid. When the mixture is quite f melted pour into a stone jar. A cupful used to I each bonA- of clothes saves the soa,po and I improves the washing. j Salmon Cakes for Breakfast Turn out a tin of salmon, remove the bciiK), and add to it some maslhéd potatoes, a little chopped parstl-ay, pspper and salt, j and a beaten egg. Mix a.ll well together, < make into round oakes, and fry in boiLinig fat until crisp and brown. These cakes are delicious for breakfast. I » To Cook Fish Take a deep piedish, butter it well, and lin-2 thickly with breadcrumbs or raspings. Cut the fish—preferably cod or hake—into pieces, place in the dish, together with some forcemeat balls. These must be small, or t.hey will not be cooked. Then make some milk an-d flour sauce, adding a few drops of lemon-juice and anchovy to taste. Season the fish, well with pepper and salt. Pour sufficient sauce into the piedish to cover the fell, sprinkle the top well wdth raspings, aind bake in a fa.irly hot oven for one to one hour and a quarter. How to Treat Woollen Goods Prepare a good lather by dissolving the scrapings of a g(Ad yellow soap or a small quantity of flaked soap in boiling water. Th-en reduce the temperature of water till the hand ca-n be used in it, and after shaking garments place them in the lather and work them up and down in it without rubbing either with the soap or in the hands. Squeeze (not wring) all the water out, and if neces- sa.ry put through a second lather in similar manner. Thoroughly rinse out all soap in warm water previously softened by the addi- tion of a little borax or ammonia. Then, rinse again in warm softened water slightly blned. Squeeze dry, shake well, and dry gar- ments as quickly as possible in the open air. Don't rub. Don't use soda. Never wring or I twist.

Veteran Cwm Couple. I FIFTY YEARS OF MATRIMONY. I Mr. Andrew Her ridge, aged 76, and Mrs. Herridge, aged 69, of 98, Marine-etreet, Cwm, near Ebbw Vale, celebrate their grolden wedding to-day, for thiey were married on May 25. 1859. They have had ten eons and MR. AND MRS. HERRIDGE. I daughters, and of their descendants 33 grand- ¡ children and three great-grandchildren are I living to-day. Mr. Herridge worked for the Ebbw Vaie Company for 50 yeans, and re- tired into well-earned rest oo December 31 last.

A GIANT ELK. I The illustration herewith is that of the I bead of a giant elk shot recently by Mr. W. J. Stroud, formerly of Mountain Ash. I i The venue of the hunt was the Grovont River, Jackson's Valley, Wyoming, l**i.A. The trophy is considered to be the finæt ellc head in the world. The spread of the horns is 5ft. 5in., length of beam 4ft. llin., and measurement around the butt 14jin. There are twelve points, the shortest being llin. long and the longest 27in.

MINIATURE RIFLE SHOOTING I Nelson, 1,386; Southerndown, 1,386. I

"ADVICE TO MOTHERS."—Are you broken la your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain by cutting teeth? Go at o-no9 to a Chemist and get bottle ot ldrii. Wixislow'g Sootiiing Syrup. It wtll relieve the poor suiferer immediately. It is pleasant to taste. It produces natural, quiet sleep by relieving the child trom pain, and the little cherub awaJwa as bright as a button. 01 ail Clwmigta, li. lfd. fIC be"-

ABERAMAN HORSE SHOW In delightful weather the eighth annua-l show of horses was held at Aberaman Park on Monday. The number and quality of the entries exceeded all previous records, the number being 67 more than last year's figures. Speaking at the luncheon in responding to I the toast of The Judges," Captain E. J. Wilkie, Cardiff, secretary of the Glamorgan Territorial Association, said he was sorry that the Army remount class had had to be I abandoned on account of lack of support by the War Office. He hoped that this would not occur again The War Office was bound to do something to get horses for Territorial purposes. We were sadly deficient in this. Captain Wilkie furthe,r said he had adver- tised last week for 300 mounts, but he had not yet received a single response. The reason was simply that Glamorgan had no horses for the purpose. They had been obliged to buy horses in London for artillery work. He hoped the Aberaman Society would take such steps as were necessary to secure the support of the War Office in encouraging the class for Army remounts. Chief awards:— OPEN CLASSES. Mare or gelding, harness and vehacle: 1st, W. Whiting, Industrial Farm, Old Field Drayman"; 2nd, T. Hill, Mountain Ash, King" Draught mare or geldi. ng, led in harnæs: 1st, W. Whiting, Old Field Drayman 2nd, T. Hill, "King." Draught mare or gelding, harness and vehicle, merchants and general hauliers, for horsetj that have not won a first prize before: 1st T. Hill, King 2nd, Jos. Duns-tan, Aber- aman, Cornwall Lad." Mare or gelding, suitable for underground work. 15.0 and under: 1st, D. Davies and Sons, Ferndale, Nondes" 2nd. Messrs. John Davies and Sons, Buttry Hatch Farm, Maesy- owmmer, Rival Turk." Mare or gelding, working underground for three months previous to show: 1st and 2nd, D. Davies and Sons Orby'" and "Eider." Milk vendor's turn-out: 1st and 2nd, David JQn-es. Woodland-street, Mountain Ash, "Lady Jones, and Lady May. Bang and" Lady May." Cob mare or gelding, harness and vehicle, need for general trade purposes, any height: 1st, Jsbez Go ugh. Mountain Ash, "Royal Guest 2nd, D. Davies and Sons. Dandy Dinmont." Champion Pony Class.-Pony, harness and vehicle, 13.2 and under, to be driven: 1st, Miss G. Burston, Taunton, "Mol Valley Sp.ring Ohicken"; 2nd. Thos. E.. Jerman, Dowlais, Nomination." Grocers' turn-out, mare or gelding, harness and cart: 1st. John Evans, Merthyr, King of the South 2nd, Thomas Thomas, Dow- lais, M arquess." Butcher's turn-out: 1st, Richard Evans, Pen* ygraig, "Bravo"; 2nd, T. E. Jerman, Dow- lais, "Nomina,tion." Champion Harness Class.—Mare or gelding, harness and vehicle, to be driven: 1st, Miss G. Burton, Taunton. "Heathfield Squire"; 2nd, Jabez Gough, Mountain Ash, "Royal Guest. Mare or gelding, harness and vehicle, 14.2 and under: 1st, D. Rees Jones, Aberdare, Bromley Belle"; 2nd, Miss G. Burston, Massey Dot." Fishmonger's turn-out: 1st, —. Collins, Mct- tjiyr; 2nd, E. Fennell, Cardiff, "Hendfre Lad." P-. n mare or gelding, 13.2 and under, to be ridden: 1st, Adam Matthews, Swansea, "Naughty Naiad"; 2nd, Miss G. Burston, "Mel Valley Sporing Chicken." Cob, to be driven, 14.0 and over: 1st, T. H. Davies, Aberdare, "Maggie C"; 2nd, Thos. Williams, Green HiH Stud Farm, Trecynon, St. Fagan's Boy." Cob or hack (riding), open, any height: 1st. D. Rees Jones, "Bromley Belle"; 2nd. Adam Maw8, New Creation." Tauuem: 1st. Miss G. Burston, Ma«»sey Dot and Mel Valley Spring Chicken 2nd. Adam Matthews, Oornhill Creation" and "Naug'hty Naiad." Yeomanry turn-out: 1st, Corporal D. Cran- don, Mountain. Ash, Black 2nd, Trooper F. W Mills, Mountain Ash, Hodder." Galloping handicap, about a miJe a-nd a half: 1st. Evan Rees. Caerphilly, "Little Rose"; 2nd, Thos. Richards, Merthyir, Cwmglo Nancy." Trotting handicap, about a mile and a half: 1st, Hugh Powell, Aberdare, "Betsy"; 2nd, Thos. William*?. Trecynon, "Tommy." Jumper: 1st, Glencross Bros., Frome, "Nomi- nation 2nd. Percy Jones, Merthyr, Rufus."

FOOT RACE AT NELSON. I A good race took place at Nelson on Monday I evening between Frank Riley and Tea Harley, both of Nelson, for a stake of JE5, distance 130yds. The former won easily.

For soups and gravies, meat and game, The nicest sauce that one can name. Is made by Hoe's, and you will find Hoe's ^Bauce-the beat of allita-kiiad. e590

I Shipping Intelligence. I I LOCAL OVERNIGHT CHARTERINS. I I OUTW AEJ)—STEAMERS. I Cardiff to:- Monte Video, 10s 7id, Leitrim (Cory Bros. and Co., Limited) River Plate, 118 6d; option Rosario, 13s, Braruham, 3,500 tons, early June (Wilson, Sons, and Co.. limited) Hong Kong, 10s 3d, f.d., Lismore, 5,000 tons (Admiralty) Campana/Villa Gon^titucion, lis 6d; option Rosario, 12s, 4,000 tons, mid-June (Bell, Symondson, and Co.) Marseilles, 7f 50c, 3,500 tons (Pyman, Wat- son) Naples/Leghorn, 6s 3d, 5,300 tons (Krieger and Schliemann) Chatham, 2s 7id, f.d., Thames, 1,500 tons (Admiralty) Chatham, 2s 7, f.d., Tees, 2,000 tons (Admi- ralty) Portsmouth. 2s 4Jd, f.d., Boscawen, 3,000 tons (Admiralty) Devonpo-rt, 2s M. f.d.: option Portsmouth, 2s 4. Fernhill, 3,800 tons (Admiralty) Devon-port, 2s 3d, f.d., Bangarth, 2,800 tons (Admiralty) Newport to:- Genoa/Savona/Spezia, 7s, Cristoforo Vagii- ano. 4,400 tons, M,ay Z5 (Higginbotham and Co.) Genoa/Savona/Snezia., 6s 9d. 4,400 tons, May 27 (Italian State Railways) ¡ Swansea to:- Honfl-eur, 4s 9d, Stokesley, 1,250 tons (Thos. Williams, Sons, and Be-henna) Rouen, 5s, Petri ana, 950 tons (Harrison, Tidswell. and Co.) Dublin, 3s Ed, 320 tons (T. P. Rose Richards, Limited) LONDON FREIGHT MARKET. I LONDOX, Monday. There is a moderate inquiry for tonnage. Azo/s and Districts are quiet, and quotations weaker. River riatc-s' and Easterns show little clian^e. Americans continue dull. Fixtures: Azof to United Kingdom or Continent, 4,500 toi,,5,, 7- 6d, May; SAilina to United Kingdom or Continent, 5.000 tons, 7s 3d, May; Car- di!T to Port Said, 5.000 tons, 5s 9d, May; Karachi to picked port, 5,703 tons, 14s 6d, June.

I LOCAL TIDE TABLE. ø I is  « I s I I 5 ^*• 8 I S | S j h £ § ? ? & S 5 ? 49 I I.;I I 17. 'lues- i M. 10 2 10 20 9 53 10 2 10 47 10 49 day. < E, 10 24 0 43 10 16 10 25 .11 9 111 My.25 Ht 29 2 20 4 25 4 23 0 27 4 ? 26 S Wed- ( M. 10 50 iriTw« '050 11 34 I 11 M d?.? E. 11 14 1135'11H1117 — My.26 Ht 28 3 18 11 ?24 01 26 9 26 4 25 6 'I h- FAl 11 4.i 44 11 46 0 zi 0 37 'l h'rs- i M. 11 43 — 1144 11 46 0 i 0 1 ??-.?E. — 0 4 — 0 34 0 37 My.27 ? Ht 28 0 17 11 3 7 1 .10 25 1 24 2 1 10 1 13 J-ri- liki. | Olo 0 34 ¡ 0 Hi 0 16 i 1 10 1 13 Hay, ?. 046J15 0 51 047 1 47 150 My.8 Ht 28 0 11 9 1 23 7 ',56 25 1 24 2 fcatur- |M. I 1 21 I 1 ;8 1 2T1 1 .:C 24 2 26 u)t<  E. 1 56 I 2 10 1 56 152 2 59 3 0 My.29fHt,287!l710247J 266 6 1 25 4 day. 1 H£ t 28 7 i 17 10 24 7 [ 26 6 S6 1 I 35 4 eun- (M. 2 29 2 42 i a 25 i 2 24 3 li Jh2 day. 1 E. 2 57 71 3H 2 52 2 55 127 9 4 2 My.30CHt I 29 7 18 7?26 0 ¡ 28 1 127 9127 41ou- i M. 3 23 .3 4 3 18 3 <4 I 4 28 4 29 day. J E. 3 47 48 .3 42 2M 4 52 4 54 )AEl. 3 47 7 19 3 4 9 27 5 29 5 29 .4 28 11 My.31 ? Ht 30 7 19 9 27 5 29 5! 29 -4 28 11 I E. Dock SilL t Koatlx Baam. I Alexandra Dooà.

THE WELSH PAGEANT I Lady Llangattock to Appear I As oapping the engagement of Lord Tre- degar for the part of Owen Glymdwr, the announoement was made on Monday evening that Lady Llangattock has consented to appear as the wife of the princely hero. Ladies' Work-room at Penarth Arrangements are now practically com- pleted for opening a ladies' work-room at Penarth for the ladies of that suburb of Car- diff who are assisting in the work of the Pageant. The loom selected is that now being used by the ladies of All Saints' Church, Penarth, for their Monday sewing meetings.

IN THE PRESS. THE CHILD'S BOOK OF THE PAGEANT Specially written for School Children by OWEN BHOSCOMYL. Published under the auspices of the Education Committee of the National Pageant of Wales. All orders t. A. W. Swash, Hon. Bee., Pageant House, Cardiff,

CARDIFF EMPIRE. I Notwithstanding the sultry weather, the ventilating arrangements at the Cardiff Empire are so excellent that it is probably the coolest spot in the city during the even- ing performances. This is a. refreshing fact in more senses than one, because crowded houses are expected throughout the week. owing to the remarkably strong cast in the sketch, Number 9," which ie being staged by Mr. Lawrence Brough and company in place of Miss Marie Lloyd, who was billed, but is unable to appear. Number 9, founded upon Sir Francis Burnand's farce, "The Lady of Ostend." is a sketch that has not a slow period in its whole course, and the very marrow of it is presented ih a tine piece of acting by Mr. Laurie de Frew ("Dick Whortles"), whom Cardiff theatre- goers will remember as starring in "A mas is" during that wonderful play's last presenta- tion in the city; by MissMabel Sealby ("Doily Whortles." his wife) Mr. Percy Marshall ("Joseph Oarbury," his father-in-law); Miss May Singleton ("Matilda Carbury," Ilig mother-in-law); Mr. Eric Hudson ("Toby Krockitt," his enemy); and Mfr. Lawrence Brough ("Baron de Longueville"). it will be at once conceded that a stronger combina- tion of such far-famed actors could hardly be found, and the Empire management La worthy of the highest praise for embarking upon so expensive an engagement. Mr. Brough, as the gay French noble, fashions his impersonation in his best style, coupling perfect mannerisms with a natural acting of a most laugnable part- In Mr. de Frews around whose escapades and ill-luck the sketch revolves, the company possesses a clever and very popular artiste, whilst each of the other members of the cjtst is equally successful. Number 9" is one of the smartest playlets ever produoed, and it was never produced more effectively than at the Empire on Monday night. All the other turns are also of the highest order and variety. George French gives two sketohes which mark him as one of our fore- most comedians. His football turn is too funny to descrioe in words, for the grotesque- ness of the thing ca.nnot be conveyed second- hand. A most daring and original set of cycle evolutions is presented by the Australian Daunton-Shaw Troupe. One of the riders does some very remarkable feats, quite out- side the usual run of such performanoes. All is and Oassati combine, in song and dance, with much success, to the delight of the audience; the other artistes on the card being Arthur Gill. the versatile yovel; Billy French, the wooden shoe dancer and singer, Peggie Lemtie and Walter Hast, in a poetic fantasy entitled, "The Sea Nymph"; and Bert Weston, the comedian. The programme concludes with charming pictures of the mid- night sun and other scenes in the Actic regions.

Passing Pleasantries. I "Papa, why do brides wear long veils?" "To conceal their satisfaction, I presume, my son." "A case of love at first sight, eh?" "No, second sight. The first time he saw her he didn't know she was an heiress." She: She's the third housemaid that you've kissed! Re: That's a result of your constantly changing the servants. "Does Mrs. Peck's husband command a good salary?" "He earns a good salary. She commands it." 1 Mrs. Day: Do YOUl know when you've had enough ? Mr. Day: No, when I've had enough I don't know anything. Perkins looks very happy these days." He has reason to be," Brown replied. After his wife and children had been fitted out with their spring costumes, he found there was enough left to have a new collar put on his overcoat." The country 'parson was condoling with the bereft widow. Alas!" he continued earnestly. "I can- not tell you how pained I was to learn that your husband had gone to heaven. We were bo-om friends, but we shall never meet again."

CIGARS. OIGAHETTfiS.—Med. Navj Cut, 20 4,0. Warcollw. 2d. each: fujabs. lid —°Dly Nelson can do it* uej).8 add Mattr-MMx _l. Minoy-et. Cat nay* L -—————-—— Printed and published ty Tuomaa Jones for the pro. prietors, at 68a, St. Mary-street, in the City of uaj. difl, by iainea Norman, Castle-street, Swansea; by R. G Williams, Glebeland-street, Merthyr Tydfil; at the (hop of Mr. Wesley Williams, Brl.dgend-a.U ta the County of Glamorgan; by Jabez Tbomaa, 22, High-street, Newport; at the shop of Mz. J. p. Caffrey, Monmoutb-both In the County of .QQ. mouth; at the shop of Mr. David John, Llaneuy, m the County of Carmarthen; and at the offloea of Mr. T. A. Davies, The Bulwark, Braooa, la tÅ8 County of Brecknock. TUESDA.Y. MAY 25r 1909.

Yesterday's Golf I AMATEUR CHAMPIONSHIP CONTEST I The play in the first round of the amateur championship at Muirfield on Monday gene- rally resulted a-ccorddng to anticipation, but the loss on the very threshold of the com- petition of our distinguished golfing visitor, Mr. Jerome Travers, has removed a distinotl personality and a decided attraction from the event. British golfers are too good sportsmen to rejoice over the defeat of the American. and not only in the clubhouse of the Honourable Company, but amongst the general run of spectators, there was the very greatest regret that the young champion should be vanquished so early. The first round results furnished some capital golf, an(Î., apart irom the defeat of Mr. Travers. the chief occurrence was the overthrow of Mr. Angus liambro, the English international player, by a local amateur, jJr. Whitecross. The amateur champion and the runner-up scored very good victories, and. the Hey. Mr. Gannon, the EMM? Catholic ciergymanwho in,: th''n? Prominence a year ago by reach- In,' the final of the South of Ireland chain '?'o n P achkveù an intereatins victory. T'he ,?ther wa,s again delightful, a light breeze tempering tha heat, and a lar?e crowd watchc>d the alay. The &ocond and tdii d roro-uunndas s wwiiln l bhe f pl!ayeJ d to-dav. t??, Tm.- THE HOLDER'S VICTORY. 'W tw I the round generally followed !?wnf< nJ? ? ? ? ?..?n Mr. L?sen and Mr. wPanfnJr L^ r.althoug.h rcoont form has indi- ca tffi that the York-hireman is well able to defend his title, yet Mr. Palmer ? such I Variously hard match ?h?r that a I keen and intcrestin? contest was looked for,  in this the ?P-Mtators were in no way j • 7, J°in' di<¡ap.pointecl, the game being brought to WTth?VP ,a hoe from home. The opening hole i'i1 j 3. To the second Mr. Lassen miaa  brassie, but through putting wJTv1 i, Mr. Palmer allowed him to get a half in 5. more haJves in 5 and 4 fol- ?T?_eJ .d At the nfth Mr. Lassen was short it-h Lhi- s Second, and Mr. Palmer gQt down in to 5, and took the lead. It was oniy momentary however, as a fine putt of about six yards by the champion on the sixth gereen for a 3 brought the ma.tch square, and at the seventh green he got a hole ahoad-a lead which he never relinquished. Mr. Palmer at t.i1,18 liole was short, a-nd played two more on the green. The eighth proved a lucky half in 5 for Mr. Palmer, Mr. Lasseu, after being in the hunker, putting weakly. The lanth was halved in 4, and Mr. Lassen turned 1 up. It was the same ding-dong battle after this s't.age, and hole after hole was played with the same evenness until Mr. Lassen be0ame dormy 2. Going to the seventeenth hOole, he played carefully for a half, and in this he was successful, securing the match by 2 up and 1 to Diav- AMERICAN CHAMPION'S DEFEAT. W hen Mr. Travers went along with Mr. iiendersom practically everyone on the links went with them. To the Brsthcle Mr. Hender- f„„ drove a clean ball between the bunkers + to the green, while Mr. Travers was very short, and Mr. Henderson was safe for a 3. Mr. TravNs did not manage the long putt and lLo?st '? the hole. The second the American played very badly. He did not ?et his brassie properly away, and he landed into the bunker. He played two more to reach the green, and, down in a perfect 4, Mr. Hender- son drew further ahead. At the third the Scotsman missed a short putt, and -after a half   vef<K,rth, the American squared at i wbere his opponent was trapped on his iron approach. The remaining holes to the turn were halved, the match turning square. M,r. Henderson won the tenth, the American champion being very weak in putt- iug. The eleventh was evenly divided in 5. Going- to the twelfth Mr. Travers topped his tee shQt into the lon? grass. He got well out, h? Mr. Henderson was in perfect line all the wav,, and was on the green in two wooden shots, Mr. Travers requiring three to get there. In putting the Scot gave nothing away, and was again 2 up. Halves took the game to the sixteenth. The American was now in a critical position, Mr. Henderson being donmy 2. Driving to the seventeenth bein Scot endangered his position by pulling his tee shot. He landed in the rough, and his maehie just got him out. Off his a.p- preach, he landed six yards to the top side of the hole. Mr. Travers with his second played a beautiful cleek, and on the green the American ran round the rim of the hole for a 3 He lay on the lip, and, amidst intense excitement, Mr. Henderson holed his long putt, and halved the very hardest of holes, and won a well-deserved, victory. Results:— FIRST SOUND. Major Williams (Harewood Downs) beat Hugh Alex- ander (Dumfermline), 3 and 2. Eo Lassen (Lytham) beat C. Palmer (Handsworth), 2 and 1. Major Fleming (Royal and Ancient) beat C. Deane (West India), 3 and 2. J. Brown (Tor wood lee) beat Norman Orr (N-ew Club, Korth Berwick), 3 and 1. D. Crowther (Hudderafieid) beat.George Spencer (Royal Blackheath), 1 hole. Boosevelt Scovel (Royal and Ancient) beat Captain Green (Murrayfieid), 3 and 2. A. Murray (Purley Downs) beat J. Lubbock (New Zea- land), 6 and 5. Bobert Harris (Acton) beat Harry Orr (Prestwfck St. Nicholas), 5 and 4. John Gairdner (Tantallon) beat J. Abercromby (Man- chester), 8 and 7. Captain Armstrong (Brighton) beat Maurice Copland (Stajimore), 1 hole. Clement Dilke (Brighton) w. o J. Tomkinson (Woking) scratched. R. de Zoote (Royal St. George's) beat R. Middleton (Royal St. George's), 5 and 3. Harold Hilton (Royal Liverpool) beat John Fair'ey (Royal and Ancient), 3 and 2. Capta.in H. Hambro (Royal St. George's) bea.t Angus M'Don a Id (Edinburgh Burghs), 5 and 4. F. Furgusson (-New Zealand) Beat J. Inglia (Black AVatch). 3 and 2. i J. Jenkins (Troon) beat Edward Tipping (Goiirock), 5 and 3. John Sutherlajid (Royal Dornoch) beat W. Ross (Zailes), 2 ho'es. Harry Colt (Sunningdale) beat W. Sivewright (Scottish University), 7 and 6. Geo. Wilkie (Leven) boat Jas. Mitchell (Musselburgh), 3 and 1. Sidney Try (Felixstowe) beat R. Graham (Lytham), 4 and 3. Frank Peebles (Prestwick St. Cuthbert) beat Ferrier Kerr (Iloval and Ancient), 1 hole. P. Quilter (Felixstowe) w.o., the lIon. Evan Charter's (New Club, North Berwick) scratched. W. Wright (Wednssbury) beat Stuart Nicholson (West India), 3 and 1. C. Lake (Rochester) beat Trevor Prince (West Essex), 3 and 2. Thomas Tuliy (Xeasden) beat Horatio Roes (New Club, NoHh Berwick), 3 and 2. William Walker (Leaowe) beat R. Riddell ).Weeton- super-Mare), 3 and 1. Gordon Lockhart (Prestwick St. Nicholas) beat John Todd (Xorth Manchester), 4 and 2. O. Dixon (Formby) beat T. Jenninge (Cork), 3 and 2. Horace Hutchinson (Royal North Devon) beat Cecil Barcrcft (Rcyal Dublin), 5 and 4. J. Liw?on (Murrayfieid) beat J. Healing (Richmond), 4 and 3. S. Healing (Richmond) beat J: Clarke (Richmond), 1 hole. Bernard Darwin (Woking) beat O. Bevan (Bletch- ingley), 5 and 3. W. Hen,1er?on (Rpyal and Ancient) beat Jerome Travere (Montclair), 2 and 1. Richard Whitecrose (DirVeton Caetle) beat Angus Hamhro (Royal St. George's) at the nineteenth hole. Archie Aitken (Prestwick) beat Dr. Williamson (Rich- mond), 8 and 6. Alexander Armour (FAiinburgh) beat Claude Hutchison (Prestwick), 5 and 3. Gordon Simpson (St. Andrews University) beat H. Duncan (Hawick), 8 and 7. P. Gannon (United Services) beat F. Low (Leven Thistle), 2 holes. E. Bell (Royal North Devon) beat Christopher Taylor (Chislehurst). 3 and 2. W. Crawford (St. Andrews University) beat W. Glover (Roval Liverpool), 2 and 1. D. Soulby (Birkdale) beat P. Dodd (Bramshott), 3 and 2. H. Taylor (Richmond) beat F. Wood (Lothian), 5 and 3. Burhill Professional's Victory I The 72-holes home-and-home match for £ 10 between Janies Hudson (Wembley) and Jack Boes (Burhill) was concluded at Wembley on Monday. Ross started with a lead of fifteen holes, gained at Burhill a few days pre- viously He maintained his excellent form, and won easily by 12 up and 10 to play. The winner is a son of L. G. Ross, of Droitwich, and nephew of Jack Ross, of Newport, ex- professional champion of Wales. He is assistant to C. H. Mayo at Burhill.

WORDY WARFARE. I I. The war of words between Mr. J. F. Byrne. of the Moseley Football Club, and the Rugby Union Committee continues In reply to Mr. Byrne's last circular to the clubs. charging the Rugby Union Committee with not j properly carrying out the laws relating to professionalism, lir. C. J B. Marriott, on behalf of the latter, has issued a lengthy statement, from which we extract the following:—"In the case which the commis- sioners referred to as one where a jXHmniary inducement had probably been offered to players, the evidence furnished was most contradictory, and the accusers came* from the Northern Union. The findings of the commissioners as to the lavish expenditure' by certain clubs in the Midlands and the pay- ment by one of those clubs of the weekly travelling expenses of one of their represen- tatives did not amount to a charge of pro- fessionalism against any of those clubs, but the expenditure in question was indicated as be- in,g undesirable, and was put a stop to. As to referees, the rules defining what are to be deemed acts of professionalism by indi- viduals were originally intended to reter to players only, acts of professionalism by indi- viduals other than players not being con- templated. The committee are propounding new laws as to referees' ex-penses in order to remove this difficulty. The player referred to as having accompanit ed the team to New Zealand under an assumed name was sus- pended immediately the committee were satisfied as to his identity, as were also the two other players mentioned by Mr. Bvrne as soon as their g-uilt wa.s fully established. No proof has yet been furnished that Smith, Jackson, or Matthews played for Leicester after it was known to the Leicester Club officials that he had signed a Northern Union form or received money from the Northern Union."

ADVANCES IN WHEAT CHICAGO, Monday. Owing to various causes there were sensa- tional advances on the wheat market to-day. and fresh high records in quotations were established, as the market closed strong, with May 2 cents and July a cents higher. May clo&ed at 134J.—Renter.

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Rev. George. He used the almost forgotten slang of the prize-ring, and smiled faintly. Ransome smiled response, and glanced at the clock. Three hours. Sixty-six to one. I Sixty-six thousand pounds. Every nerve was straining—every sense alert. The patient was helping the doctor in the best way that he could. Effort goes far to recovery in illness. The Hon. and Rev. George was waiting for his last Derby, as became a true Christian, with proper resig- nation, but, like a good sportsman, with determined hope. Two o'clock. Then came the second race, and then the telephone. Eansome answered it. A fussy and punctilious member of the Jockey Club felt it his duty, in face of an alarming rumour I that had reached the course, to inquire whether- Ransome said sharply that he was the medical adviser of the Hon. and Rev. George, who was certainly alive and waiting to hetr the result of the Derby. There was cause for anxiety, perhaps, but nothing more. He rang off, and went back to his patient. The next minute he took the nurse out of the room. He gave her some very exact instructions, and told her to wait till she was called. She looked at him rather curiously. But he closed the door, and faced bis ordeal alone. He looked up at the cloudless sky, where a little kestrel circled screaming above a couple of wheeling gulls. He stared blankly at the empty moor. He glanced at the tick- ing clock. It wanted fifteen minutes to the hour-ftft.een endless minutes. The clock! ticked louder still, and- There is only one I' such silence. Ransome knew what it meant. There was no need to look and examine. Peacefully the spirit of the fine old man had passed, and Ransome knew that it was his honest duty to tell the truth over the tele- phone before the great race was run. But 66 to I. And a certainty. I In fifteen minutes t There might be delays at the post. There Vas certainly just time—if he epoke at once, and Sixty-six to one! A turgid reporter had turned himself loose upon the tape. Mechanically Ransome read that the course was clearing, and a police- man was chasing the Derby Dog. To his nostrils came the reek of the surging crowd. The clocS ticked on. He ought to call the nurse and telephone at once. Sixty-six thousand to- He gave way, and sat down feebly. It was a ghastly viil! The dead man lay so quietly. The tape clicked again, then clattered on. Ransome rac. weakly for the writhing ribbon. They're off." He stood up and looked at the clock. No false starts. In his head beat the thunder of hoofs, and he heard the "prip- rip-prip of silken jackets. At the Bushes -Anchorite, Trentham." He could see it all. The sudden tailing off of beaten horses at the milo post, the kaleidoscopic changes down the hill. At Tattenham Corner, cross- ing the road, Trentham takes first place, Anchorite next." Click, click. The machine paused for a-n instant, and the sweat stood out on Ran some's orow. Click—at last! "At the. Distance The Friar suddenly challenged on the outside coming with a wet sail, and-" Then followed a maddening blank, And then: Result, XXX77. ABAXXX second. ANBBAXX third. Others beaten off." He beat on the pedestal with his hands. He plucked wildly at the tape. This threw the machine out of gear. It clicked spas- modicaily, and. stopped working. Ransome gtoan-ed alo-ild under the refine- ment of his torture. Then he reeled to the door, for the nurse was tapping. He w-as wanted on the telephone at once. What's won?" snapped Ransome. He was hoarse, and his lips felt like wood. NVhat- what's won?" The Friar-" Won?" No. What?" No, sir dog ran out between his feet close home crossed his legs come right down, nearly—Lomax rode won- derful picked him clean up only one stirrup come again he'd have won in another yard beat very short head Trentham first Anchorite third. Birr—r—r. Your time's up." Birr-r-r. Sixty-six to one. If he had told the truth, the nomination was void, and all bets off. He would have lost nothing. As it was. He went back slowly to the silent room. For an instant he fancied that a grim smile sat on the mouth of the quiet corpse. The luck of the Hon. and Rev. George had held good to the end. It was written that he should never win a Derby. The relatives were not generous. The family physician deprecated the strenuous and drastic methods of modern medical science. Patience and port wine was his pet prescrip- tion. So there were no large fees. Ransome sold his practice and his furni- ture. He paid his debts, and with the email remnant that was left, tried South America. He is doing fairly well. The Spaniards love horses, and there is some decent racing now and then. He likeq it. But he never bets.