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vW vV,.v.r» -v >4 >4 >4 >4 \A M M X >' >T .VT >'■ ■■^ ')'■ f v :,v ?. »* »»r n* ? [Our readers are informed that all characters in thm ?cry are purely imaginmy, and  ? if the name of any living person happens to be mentioned no personal reflection .,J. is intended.] ? [ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.] t FOR KING AND EMPIRE J..1. By CAPTAIN FRANK SHAW. jf-r Author of "The Love Tides, "The Bondage of Hate," etc. OZ CHAPTER XVII (Continued); THB FIGHT IN THS UPFSB AIA. From somewhere underneath, am the Duck .(lrove forward, there came the spitting of orifle fire, and the two airships rose higher out of range as a few bullets tore through ,-the skin of the balloons. Then they seemed to catch sight for the first time- of the Duck ,.as it throbbed towards them. They spun around in the air, and towered high. As :they rose they sent a perfect fusillade of bombs downwards, and a huge section of the 'City burst into flames that spread like light- .11mg. Sir Edward pressed home a lever, and the Duck rose upwards on a long slant. It was the baronet's object to get the upper hand of the enemy, for he knew that having gained that, he could play with them as a cat with a mouse. And the mechanical -,wings of his airship gave him a great ad- vantage. The German airships could only :rise by dint of throwing out ballast, their ascent was. uneven, and though they steered straight for the Duck, yet as Sir Edward still kept the elevating lever pressed home, they fell into a lower stratum of air than jthe British airship. The sound of firing died away as both parties of combatants paused as by common "consent to watch this strange conflict in anid-air. Now here, now there darted the Duck, eluding the shells that were fixed at her by pneumatic guns as easily as if they ;were peas from a peashooter. Jack Tremont, watching from below, won- dered at his father's action in postponing a definite engagement. The baronet's object was to draw the two airships away over the not far distant common, where he could shatter them at his leisure, without inflict- ing damage on his own side. So after a while he deliberately turned tail, slowed .speed, and drifted—apparently aimlessly— towards the country. The two Germans fol- lowed like hawks after a dove. Once he had reached the spot he had iselected, Sir Edward looked behind him. The enemy were pressing determinedly after ihim, and he was within range of their guns, as a shell whizzing in between the flapping wings of the Duck warned him. The time 32ad come for action. The Duck sped upwards swiftly, turned "tJhort round on her heel in mid-air, as the two powerful rudders were brought into play, and then, without pausing in her stride, she tore down towards the enemy. "These ships could not arrest their flight 60 ■quickly as did their adversary; they threw out ballast, and tried to rise higher. But it was useless; wherever they went there was the dreaded Duck, her shadow falling full upon them. For a while Sir Edward gave those below a realistic exhibition of aero- nautics, for he was not averse to showing his country what a gift he had at its dis- posal but finally, with a downward swoop, e struck his first blow. A high-explosive shell passed across his bows as he darted upon the leading airship, but that ship never fired again. For as the Duck passed swiftly overhead Sir Edward fired an aerial torpedo, that cut through the balloon like a needle, and then fell straight into he middle of the hull beneath. There was a slight explosion, no more. But the vast bulk of the airship contracted and eva- porated like a pricked bubble; there came a scream of horror from a dozen throats, and then the chip fell down and down like a bolt from the blue. The second airship, seeing what its fellow had suffered, now made up its mind for flight. It discharged bag after bag of ballast, and rose proudly; but all the bal- last in the world could not have availed. It might have been that Sir Edward would kave disabled the craft and captured it, but AS the flying airship passed over a small village a petrol bomb was discharged into the very midst of a crowd of women and children, who, with wide-open eyes, were watching the strange duel. Instantly they were enveloped in flames; some led shriek- ing, but more died where they stood. Sir Edward gritted his teeth at the piti- ful sight, and then, with his heart hot with anger, drove the Duck straight at her cowardly opponent. Without firing a single shot, though dynamite bombs were flying about him like hail, he increased speed to the full, and went on. A terrible roar of rage and fear rose from the doomed airship J as the keen bow of the Duck tore through the envelope of the balloon and rent it to ribbons. But before the craft could fall Sir Edward had turned again, and once more that fearful ram drove on, tMs time j right through the centre of the German'. 1 hull. In many places, shattered and com- pletely overcome, the airship dropped through the air, fall with a resounding II crash, and blew up like it4r fellow. But. the work had not been done without loss. Two of the bombs had found billets on the Duck's pinions, and she had lost a great measure of her speed. But she was good for much useful work still, and ten iniiiiit,e.s later he was fairly over the Ger- man forces, and heading for thp besieged mill. A further company of Germans had been thrown against the mill, and the building was ablaze in several places. General Marchmont, seeing the plight of the defen- ders with the dawn, had detached a relief party of Territorials and Regulars to attack the attackers; but the new drafts were sub- jected to a heavy artillery fire from the German rear. It seemed as if nothing could save the gallant fellows at Munson s mill. But just as an overwhelming rush was made at the tottering structure, there was a flash and a roar, and a whole company of German infantry was blotted out without a Bing-Ie soul escaping. "Well done, pater!" screamed Jack loudly; and then he turned again to the de- fence. CHAPTER xvm. I If ANCHJSSTBE AT BAT. I Swift as retribution had come upon the Invading Germans, they were not te men' to surrender unconditionally at the loss of a few men. Though Sir Edward Tremont's missile had swept away an entire company, though the ground was littered with the slain, yet there were thousands more to take the place of those who had perished. A. bugle sounded loudly, another answered it, and the attacking force ran for cover like rabbits; but as soon as they gained the pro- tection of a hundred cottages and sheds in the vicinity they recommenced their gall- ing fire on the mill. Simultaneously with the renewal of the attack a machine gun of an automatic type was laid in position, sloping at a sharp angle. A shell struck one of the wings of the Duck as it poised in readiness for a downward swoop, and the wonderful aero- plane was moving round in unequal circles and making for a higher altitude. A bomb from the Duck blew the machine gun out of existence and its attendants with it; but from a dozen different points more guns were levelled, so that a furious fusillade of shot and shell poured like hail upon the eireling craft. Jack watched his father soar upward with something of a groan. He knew they were in a desperate case, for the mill was on fire in a dozen places, and their position was rapidly becoming untenable. Nearly half his men were killed or wounded or, which was even worse, charred to death by the advancing flames. Ted Tremont was bleed- ing from two wounds, but Jack had escaped wonderfully, considering the reckless manner in which he had exposed himself. And now ft new sound was added to the awful turmoil of way-the seething roar of angry flames. Now and then a dull crash heralded the fall of some beam or pillar, and clouds of sparks flew broadcast. "If they don't relieve us soon, said Jack desperately, "we'll have to sally out and tr 7 to cut our way through. Its our only hope now, Ted. Look, the roof's 011 fire, and it will fall in a few minutes. And those beggars are coming on again." .They were. The clear note of a bugle seemed to draw untold numbers of men from the ground. They came on like a roaring torrent—a torrent that was tipped with steel, that belched forth name and lead. Sir Edward Tremont, from far above. launched one of his death-dealing missiles, and wiped out a few men in the rear; but the height of the Duck above the raging combat was now too great, for he had been compelled to soar out of range for the time being. At that great height it was almost impossible to distinguish the two parties of combatants, and the utmost the baronet could do was to try to pick off a few of the outlying men. Once, as the Germans swept forward to the mill, Sir Edward did, indeed, launch another bomb; but, as if in instant answer, a large section of the wall fell with a crash, and the baronet groaned in his helplessness. He rather thought he had hearsl Jack's clear young voice above the sounds of war, and it occurred to the baronet that if Jack had, indeed, escaped from the clutches of the enemy when the ambuscade almost caught his motor, this was just a forlorn hope adventure as the warlike soul of his son loved. "But I can't do anything just now," said Sir Edward. "I'll have to leave the lad to fight it out at his own leisure." And so, as there was nothing to be done about the mill, the Duck was turned, and swept swiftly, though at much diminished speed, up to- wards the main attack, which was being Sressed home ?n the southern suburbs of Manchester wim desperate determination. Here it was easier to distinguish friend from foe, and a few well-placed shells speedily gave the Germans momentary pause. Sir Edward was in his element now, for he had a wide field in which to act, and no more shells struck the elusive Duck as it tore here and tore there, now spinning up- wards like a wayward kite, now dropping like a stone until within five hundred yards of the enemy's position. And by this time the defenders had got most manfully into the stride. They were fighting for their homes, for those they held most dear, for the honour of the Mother- land. Far away to the west of the attackers' line two powerful guns had been posted on a slight eminence, and from this commanding position poured in a deadly fire of high ex- plosive shells that, soaring in wide arcs over the barriers and hastily dug teenches of the Manchester men, dropped into the city and caused dreadful damage. At this time there were no cavalry regi- ments stationed in Manchester, but a few companies of yeomen, the mounted branch of the Territorials, were mustered behind an embankment, ready for a charge when a charge might the more readily be pressed home. Colonel Wilberforce, who commanded the yeomen, saw the heavy guns as the day broke, and he realised in a moment that un- less they were silenced Manchester must in- evitably suffer frightful damage, or be com- j pelled to surrender in the interests of humanity. Therefore, without waiting for orders from his senior officer, he called to his own officers, and held an animated con- ference. Then with white, set faces the officers took their positions as the colonel rtde to the fsont of his men and addressed them in soul-stirring tones. "Those guns have to be taken, men," he cried in a loud voice. "We are going to take them. Trumpeter, sound the trot." It was a noble attempt, gallantly carried out. Movinrr slowly at first, the yeomen made a wide detour into the open country, and then, though seen and fired upon at ftce, they set spurs to their horses, charged like a whirlwind through an outlying flank- ing regiment, cut a bloody passage into pre- carious safety, and so rede on. Never since the immortal Light Brigade charged at Balaclava had there been such a charge. The British blood was fired by what had passed, and though a withering fire broke out upon the yeomen as they raced forward, still at the bugle call, the men opened out into wide array and again pressed forward. It was nobly done. Such an effort, ani- mated as it was by the utmost courage and patriotism, could not but succeed. The yeomen cut their way through a defending regiment at the foot of the hill on which the guns were posted, leaving a red and drip- ping track behind them, and though the Germans formed up in their rear, the Bri- tish force went on. Five minutes later they were in among the gunners, and the long swords fell to work in grim and deadly earnest. The guns were taken. But at a terrible cost More than half the yeomen had gone down; the countryside about was dotted with riderless horses and dead Britons. But for the moment Manchester's precarious position was relieved. A sharp order sent the yeomen to the ground, and the captured g-uns- were in- stantly turned against the advancing Ger- mans. Half a dozen rounds of shrapnel mowed loner lanes through the cavalrv. and a volley from the yeomen's carbinei gave them pause. A wing of infantry was flung forward to support the Germans, but the gun decimated the men as they came for. ward, and the British troops behind the bar- riers made a desperate sortie that turned the scale of the battle. But even with these advantages Man- Chester was far from being out of danger. Freah German troops were being hurried up as fast as rail and motor-cars could bring them from Liverpool and Chester, but the Duck once more proved her invaluable merits at this juncture. A troop train, crowded with Germans, was in sight, racing in towards the German main depot, when a heavy charge of Sir Edward's new explosive blew the engine off the rails. The train was wrecked with terrible loss, and when the survivors of the accident came out of the carriages a second hail of explosives dropped amongst them, so that they did not know where to seek cover from the terror of the air. At half-past nine that fearful morning a scout cycled in and reported that heavy firing had been heard away to the extreme south-west, and half an hour later another came in with a report that a heliograph message had been received to the effect that British supports were being pushed forward as swiftly as they could move. The good news restored the fainting spirits of the defenders, and it was determined to hold out until the last shot was fired rather than surrender to German might. I CHAPTER XIX. I I HOW THBY WON TO BAJTtTT. I Jack wrapped a handkerchief about his left arm, where a bullet had grazed him, and looked around. The men were weary and almost spent, their faces were black- ened and scorched by the near-approaching fire. "Fire one more volley into them," said our hero grimly, "and then stand by for 1 sortie. We can't stay here any longer." A few of the garrison carried the wounded down into the cellars of the mill, which were practically fireproof. It was all they could do for the poor fellows, alas! To stay meant the inevitable death of all; to go meant almost as certain death; but there was just the chance to die fighting. "How do you feel, Ted? he asked his soldier brother, who sat in a comer of the burning room. "Feel? Fit for anything yet. I'm blessed if you're going to leave me in the cellars, Jack. I've got an arm for a sword yet, and I'll help cut my way through with the rest of you." A final volley now crashed from the burn- ing mill, and was followed by a sinister silence. The attacking Germans came on with renewed vigour, for they considered the garrison had capitulated. On they tore like yelling fiends, their faces Bushed, their eyes bloodshot with rage and the fighting lust. "Stand by there!" shouted Jack. "Drag those machines away." It was done; the doors remained closed, but a touch would open them. "Now throw the doors opeul" With a clatter they flew wide, and the Germans fell back a little at sight of those desperate men. "Fire!" Jack's voice rang out like a clarion above the horrid din, and the crash- ing volley answered it like an echo. "Now charge!" With a cheer the little knot of valiants, each man a hero, dashed forward. They were in among the Germans be fere the latter had recovered from their surprise. A sharp volley from the refilled magazincG sent the enemy down in scores, and hard on the heels of the whirring lead came the cold steel. Almost breast to breast, with bayonets dripping red, the de- fenders of Munson's mill fought on. Jack and his brother Ted led the wedge at its sharpest point, and the stout young arms grew weary from the constant rise and fall of the keen swords they held. With their revolvers spitting, hewing like Trojans, sabring wildly at the sea of grim faces that pressed about, the two gallant lads pushed forward, and every step they took their no less gallant men crowded hard on their heels. That solid human wedge forced its way through the Germans as the steel prow of a battleship cleaves its way' through a tropic sea. The enemy fell back before that resist- less advance; they darted forward again, thrusting savagely with their long steel bayonets; but their steel clashed on stouter steel, and they fought now with a weapon 1 that the Briton had made his own. It seemed incredible that the little party could survive. Seen from a distance, thoy appeared but a minute speck in a vast sea, and yet charge after charge was beaten back. They marked their places by bits of charred stick or stone on the ground, and when they fell back, as more than once they did, they kept an eye steadily on their mark, and hewed their way back to it with grim persistence. Even the fanatical Germans became convinced that these were no ordi- nary men. Jack saw them waver, heard their cries of consternation, and suddenly gave the word to open out and force 1meir way through the hesitating Germans. Like the sticks of a fan, the two sides of the wedge parted and spread into a line. Then, with a rousing cheer and a clang of steel, with Jack hewing for dear life and his brother seconding him, they charged. Men went down fighting; other men, their rifles dashed from their hands, sprang out- wards at German faces, grappled, and went down among the scuffling feet. It was ter- rible, but it was magnificent as a specimen of British valour. Suddenly the enemy drew back, breathless and panting, and a mounted officer spurred forward. Surrender, gentlemen!" he cried in French; "and we will give you the honours of war." Jack looked at his men swiftly. One or two shook their heads, the others re- mained impassive. We do not surrender!" gasped the boy; and the German officer saluted with drawn sword. Then he reined back and waved on his men for the final onslaught. Then came the sound of a withering volley, and the long line of Germans crumpled away like dusft before a storm. Another volley crashed and rolled, and then there came the roar of a British cheer. Jack shouted aloud in his joy, and as he shouted his bugler dropped at his side with a bullet in his brain; but our hero snatched the bugle from his nerve- less hand, and sounded the long clear call to charge! And so the stalwarts of Mun- son's mill went forward, to find themselves plunged into the middle of half a regiment of cheering "Terriers" and Regulars, who welcomed them as men back from the grave. (To be Continued.)
IIF THE SEA ROSE 600 FEET.I
I IF THE SEA ROSE 600 FEET. If the sea around the British Isles were to rise 600 feet the present islands of Great Britain and Ireland would be transformed into an archipelago consisting of many islands, both large and small (says a con- temporary). These islands would represent the parts of Great Britain at present more than 600 feet above sea-level. Where Scot- land used to be we should have two large islands, separated by a long, narrow strait. These islands would represent the north- western and Grampian Highlands. The mountains of Westmorland and Cumberland and the Northern Pennines would be cut by deep arms of the sea, and the hills above 600 feet left towering up in isolated grandeur. There would be very little left of Yorkshire save for a group of islands representing tne Yorkshire moors and wolds. A great broad strait would cover the present counties of Lancashire and Cheshire. Then there would be a somewhat large compact island repre- senting the highlands of Wales. A big sea would separate the southern portion of Wales from Cornwall and Devonshire. Of the two latter counties, comparatively little would be left but several small islands representing Exmoor, Dartmoor, and Bodmin Moor. Nearly all Norfolk, Suffolk, and Lincolnshire, and large parts of Kent would be completely gone, being repre- sented by a few little ridges and islands consisting of the Kentish Downs. A small part of Sussex would remain, but only those hills and downs above 600 feet, and there would be a ridge of chalk hills representing the Cotswold Hills and the Chiltern Hills. ,Ireland would merely be a scattered archi- pelago, consisting of a northern and southern group of small islands, with a big broad sea cutting between the two.
HUMOROUS EPITAPHS.
HUMOROUS EPITAPHS. In the churchyards of this country are to be found many peculiar and humorous epitaphs. Here is one from a Pembroke- shire churchyard:— Here lie I, and no wonder I'm dead, For the wheel of a wagon went over my head. In Westerham churchyard, Kent, there is to be found an epitaph in which grammar has been neglected for the sake of rhyme:— Cheerful in death I close my eyes; Into Thy arms, my God, I flies. An epitaph on a man of the name of George Denham runs as follows:— Here lies the body of Geordie Denham; If ye saw him now ye wadna ken him. An epitaph in Wolverhampton churchyard reads as follows:— Here lie the bones Of Joseph Jones, Who ate whilst he was able; But once o'erfed, He drop down dead, And fell beneath the table. When from the tomb, To meet his doom, Ho rises amidst sinners; Since he must dwell In Heav'ri or Hell, Take him-which gives best dinners. From Canterbury we have an example written by a sorrowing widower:— Of children she bore twenty-four; Thank the Lord, there will be no more. In Worcester churchyard may be found t.he following:— Mammy and I together lived Just two years and a half, She went first, I followed next— The cow before the calf.
FACTS ABOUT BRAZIL.
FACTS ABOUT BRAZIL. The Federal Republic of Brazil is the largest State in South America, and is greater in area than European Russia, Austria-Hungary, Germany, France, Nor- way and Sweden, Denmark, Italy, and Greece together. The population of Brazil is estimated at about 16,000,000, including 1,500,000 Italians, 1,000,000 Portuguese, and 250,000 Germans. Brazil was formerly an Empire, but .at the revolution of 1889 the Empire became a Republic, and Don Pedro II., the then Emperor, was exiled. The National Congress, the legislative authority of Brazil, consists of a Chamber of Depu- ties and a Senate, which meet annually, but no laws can be passed without the Presi- dent's sanction. The army of Brazil con- sists of 40,000 men, besides 20,000 gendarmerie. Brazil is the naval power of South America. —————- —————-
[No title]
One penny an hour advance has been awarded the London building trade workers by the arbitrator. The men claimed an in- crease of 2d. an hour when engaged on munitions work. Around Derryfatten, a village in co. Ros- common, there has been a good deal of ex- citement caused by a cyclist who carried a Sinn Fein flag and discharged a number of revolver-shots as he passed along the public road.
I FUN AND FANCY.
I FUN AND FANCY. "How sad!" exclaimed one blade of a pair of scissors to the other. "How sad. We only meet to sever." Orderly Sergeant (to men messing): "Any complaints?" Chorus: "Potatoes are bad." Orderly Sergeant: "That's not a complaint; it's a disease!" uOur minister used to be a prize-fighter in his early days." "I see. He's an ex- pounder, as it were." Milton: "Gibson doesn't seem to be get- ting rich at poultry raising." Bilton: "No; but he says his hens have taken to eating their own eggs, and he has hopes that they'll become self-supporting." Philanthropic Visitor (to jail-bird): "My friend, may I ask what brought you here?" Jail-bird: "The same thing that brought you here—the desire to poke my rose into other people's business. Only I used gener- ally to go in by way of the basement window." Doctor: "What seems to be the trouble?" Patient: "My train of thought keeps jump- ing the track." Doctor: "Ah, nervous wreck Ella: "There are some men who are always looking at their watches." Stella: "There are others who couldn't do it, unless they spent their time round a pawn- broker's." Tommy: "What is a retaining fee, pa?" "A retaining fee, my son, is the money people pay to us lawyers before we can do any work." "Oh, I see! It's like those slot chocolate machines. The people have to put in their pennies before they get any chocolate." Miss Rattle: "Yes, that's a photo of my maiden aunt. Perhaps you saw her name in the papers last winter. She frightened away a burglar." Mr. Winkler (closely in- specting the portrait): "Did she? Well, I don't wonder at it." Diner: "Is this genuine vegetable soup?" Waiter: "Yes, sir; nine carrots guaran- teed. "Your son, I believe, made some experi- ments while at college?" "Yes, he dis- covered what he calls his Scientific Para- dox." "Indeed! What is the nature of it?" "He succeeded in demonstrating that debts are expanded by contracting t em." "Hasn't Bliggins a motor-car?" "Yes." "But you always see him walking." "He's too lazy to bother with the motor-car." As the coach careered towards the edge of the cliff, the timid tourist gazed anxiously down at the brawling stream 300 feet below. "Do people fall over this precipice often?" she asked. The driver clucked to his horses. "No, madam," he returned placidly, "never but once." "Why so sad and downcast?" "My wife has threatened to leave me." "Cheer up; women are always threatening something like that, but they hardly ever do it." "That's what I was thinking." "I'll learn ye to tie the kettle on the dog's tail," Tommy's mother yelled in her wrath. "It's not our dog," cried Tommy. "No, it's not our dog," almost shrieked his mother, "but it's our kettle!" A member of Parliament, seeing one of his supporters emerging from the local post-office, thought he would have a little joke over the man's thriftiness. "Halloa, Sands!" he remarked, "I guess you've been in there to buy more war savings certifi- cates." You're wrong, sir," was the quick reply. "I've only been in to fill my foun- tain-pen." "Are you snre that the room you have to let is quiet?" asked the timid young man. "Ah! Rest assured of that," said the land- lady. "There is a singer in the next room, and it must be quiet, or she couldn't prac- tise. The Father: "If I give yer some money ter spend while ye be in London you won't go to no music-halls or gamlin' places, or drink champagne with it, will ye?" Son: "No, dad." The Father: "Well, then, here's a shilling, an' mind ye keep yer word." His dog was a fierce Airedale, which could whip, and had whipped, every other bow-wow in the neighbourhood. Then he clipped his coat. "Yes," he said to a friend, "the clipping was my own idea. I believe it made him look better, but it was very awkward for the dog!" "How was that?" queried the friend. "Oh, the other dogs didn't know him. He had to fight 'em all over again!" An old Scotsman was threatened with blindness if he did not give up drinking. "Now, McTavish," said the doctor, "it's like this: You've either to stop the whisky or lose your eyesight, and you must choose." "Aye, weel, doctor," said Mc- Tavish, "I'm" an auld man noo, an' I was thinkin' I ha'e seen about everything worth seein' Jones: "What's the string round your finger for, Brown?" Brown: "My wife's idea, so that I wouldn't forget to post her letter." Jones: "And have you posted ?" Brown: "No, she forgot to give it to me." A gentleman whose hearing is defective is the owner of a dog that is a terror in the neighbourhood in which the gentleman re- sides. The other day he was accosted by a friend, who said, "Good morning, Mr. S.—; your wife made a very pleasant call on us last evening." "I am very sorry," came the startling reply. "I'll see that it don't occur again, for I'm going to chain her up henceforth.
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I CLUB WINDOW.
I CLUB WINDOW. Amongst Dr. Macnamara's large budgel tf stories relating to schools and scholars the following is exceptionally good. A lady teacher was addressing her class on the subject of kindness to dumb animals, and calling to mind the cruel custom prevalent among dog-fanciers of cutting off certain dogs' tails, thought it a splendid oppor- tunity to point a moral. "Now which of you little girls can tell me why it is cruel to cut off puppy-dogs' tails? she asked. For a moment there was no answer. Then a small child put up her hand. "Well, Mabel, can you tell us?" "Yes, teacher," piped the small voice, "because of the text. 0 0 0 Sir Frederick Bridge, the famous organist of Westminster Abbey, has a keen sense of humour and delights in telling the following story: He was once at a dinner-party when he was much bored by a loquacious guest. At length the stranger became so bumptious that Sir Frederick asked him if he knew much about music. "Rather; I should think I do," was the reply. "Come, now," said Sir Frederick, "tell me what are the four resolutions of the dominant seventh?" "Tell you what are the four resolutions of the dominant seventh?" echoed the ignorant one, haughtily. -Ab, I could not give away the secrets of our craft in any circum- stances. President Wilson was asked to write a limerick once, and wrote this one—about himself:— "As a beauty I am not a star; There are others more handsome by far; But my face, I don't mind it, For I am behind it! The people in front get the jar!" Dr. Page, the American Minister in Lon- don, is housed in a quite modest way (for an Ambassador) at Grosvenor-square. The official headquarters of the Embassy are in Grosvenor-gardens, but it is non-residential, being in effect little more than a glorified suite of offices. As a matter of fact, the United States Government has never taken much interest in the housing of its Ambas- sadors, and when Dr. Page first arrived in London, in 1913, he had to find rooms at a hotel like an ordinary tourist. Soon afterwards he set out one night to see the sights of the metropolis by moon- light, and while strolling slowly round Trafalgar-square he was accosted by a sus- picious policeman, who inquired his name. "My name is Page," was the reply. "Well, what are you doing wandering about here? Hadn't you better go home?" "Home!" ex- claimed the doctor, with mock solemnity. "I have no hbme." "No home!" reiterated the puzzled policeman. "Then who are you?" "Oh, I'm only the American Ambas- sador," replied Page sadly. < < Mr. Seymour Hicks, the actor, was originally intended for the Army, but lœing confidence in his ability to pass the fin? examination he abandoned the idea of a career as a soldier and went on the stage. He was nrst engaged as a super, and for -B in %hilling3 a week he had t? take five different parts nightly. The Rev. Silas Hocking, the writer of so much popular fiction, tells an entertaining story of his second attempt to speak in public. It was at a school anniversary, and he had carefully written out and committed to memory a speech of which he was very proud. "As ill-luck would have it," he says, "no sooner had I uttered the wor& "Mr. Chairman" than I caught sight of my father among the audience, and in a second my memory became a complete blank. For- tunately, a story which was to come at the end of my speech occurred to me, and I plunged blindly into it; and once started, I remembered other bits of my oration, which I delivered with the most comical disregard to sequence. On the whole I got two-thirds of my speech out, and then sat igno- miniously down, feeling as though I had been boiled." MT. Joynson Hicks, M.P., is by profession a solicitor, possessing an extensive clientele in London. It is said that on one occasion, when addressing an audience, he remarked: "The Government have not fulfilled their pledges. There is one charge especially that I wish to make. What is it? And he paused in order to lend impressiveness to his argument, when straight come the reply from one of his hearers: "The charge? Six- and-eightpence, I suppose, as per usual." < < Mr. Rudyard Kipling's diction is so vivid that it is curious that he is an inveterate adjective hater. After he has written his copy for the first time he goes through it again very carefully, and it is an unusual thing for a single paragraph to escape ex- tensive alteration. The feature of the cor- rections is the wholesale excision of the ad- < jectives, which, upon mature consideration, the great author invariably condemns. Lord Milner is a man of many gifts and accomplishments, apart from all those which won him fame and high place so rapidly. He is a linguist of very unusual gifts, and can read and speak fluently the chief Euro- pean tongues. He is familiar with all the recent literature of France, Italy, and Sweden; and his favourite English authors are Matthew Arnold and Robert Louis Stevenson. • • • Mr. George Bernard Shaw is nothing if not unconventional, and even in the days when he was comparatively unknown he used to love to do things that took people's breath away. In those early days he wrote dramatic criticisms for a certain paper, and, as he had a hatred for wearing evening dress, he was sometimes looked on askance by theatrical managers. One night, Shaw turned up at a certain theatre in his day- time clothes, but he was stopped at the en- trance by an official. "You cannot come in like that, sir," he said. "What do you object to-my velvet jacket?" asked "G. B. S." The official nodded. "I will remove it," said Mr. Shaw, and a moment later he stood in his shirt sleeves. The official gasped with horror. "That won't do!" he cried. "Won't do?" echoed Shaw. "Do you think I am going to take off any more? I should like to see this play, but I am not going to run the risk of being mistaken for a Society dowager." And before the astonished official could recover from his surprise, "G. B. S." had put on his coat again and quitted the theatre. Sir Guy Calthrop, controller of Mines, is one of the most brilliant engineers in this country. Since 1914 he has been manager of the London and North-Western Railway. Sir Guy began his experience on the London and North-Western in 1886 as a junior on the staff of the superintendent of the line. It was not long before his remarkable organising abilities were recognised, for two years later he was made superintendent of Crewe Junction and Works—a very respon- sible post. The Rev. Thomas Horne, known far and wide as the "showman's parson," has, as might be expected, a wonderful budget of stories relating to the show-folk he ministers to. Here is one that concerns the proprietor of a certain travelling menagerie. He had struck a streak of bad luck, having lost a number of valuable animals by accident and otherwise. Therefore, it was with sym- pathetic mien that one of the keepers undertook the task of breaking the news of another disaster. He began thus: "Mr. Smith, you remember that laughin' hyena in cage 9?" "Remember the laughing hvena?" demanded the owner angrily. "What the deuce are you driving at?" "Only this, Mr. Smith, he ain't got nothin' to laugh at this morning!"
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Lord Moulton, Director-General of Explo- sives Supply, Ministry of Munitions, has been nominated for election as president of the Institution of Gas Engineers fur the ensuing year. A leakage of ammonia in the basement of the Dairy Supply Company's premises, Avonmore-road, West Kensington, necessi tated the attendance of the fire brigade with smoke-helmets.
THINGS TEGB&HTFUL <
THINGS TEGB&HTFUL < I THE UNIVERSE. Can any man cast me out of tbq Uni. verse? He cannot: but whithersoever I may go, there will be the sun and the moon, and there the stars and visions and omens and communion with the gods. -Epictetus. I TRUE ART OF LIFE. The true art of life is in the just recog- nition of its essential worth and the placing these values in proper relation to action, tc the development of character and in casting aside the merely accidental as chaff, un. worthv of use. Devoting one's self con- scientiously and continuously to the propa- gation of essential things. Weakness, im- becility, is shown ever in disregarding the real values, and in spending strength, time, and opportunity, just as a Sort of joke to be laughed over and regarded inconsequential. I ONE THING IS NEEDFUL. "One thing is needful," said the world's greatest teacher to a certain well-meaning person, whose care of him and desire to pro- vide an ample fare stood in the way of real promotion and advancement in the fine art of real living. It is the chief business of life to seek after those things which purify the heart, elevate the mind, clear the men- tal being with such conceptions of essential things as to eradicate it of all erroneous and misleading ideas, so as to give proper ratic of attention toward making good in the es- sential verities of being.—A. W. Armstrong. I TO-DAY. Old yesterday is with the dead, To-morrow is as yet unborn; To-day is all that lives and breather Of glamour and of prom ise shorn. "I was" is but an old man's sight "I will be" is a dream, at best; "I am" alone is plain to view- "I am is manhood's vital test. The sun of yesterday is set, To-morrow's SIll may never rise; The sun to-day, alone, is yours— But every moment westward flies. The day that was is now no more, The day to be has never been; To-day's the crisis of your life, And on it must you lose or win. THINGS NOT NECESSARY. The greatest part of what we do 01 say being unnecessary, if a man. takes this away he will have more leisure and less un- easiness. Accordingly, on every occasion a man should ask himself: HIs this one of the unnecessary things?" Now a man should take away not only unnecessary acts, but also unnecessary thoughts, for thus super- fluous acts will not follow after.-Marcus Aurelius. ENDURANCE. Existence may be borne, and the deep root Of life and sufferance make its firm abode In bare and desolated bosoms: mute The camel labours with the heaviest load. And the wolf dies in silence—not bestow'd In vain should such example be; if they. Things of ignoble or of savage mood, Endure and shrink not, we of nobler clay May temper it to bear-it is but for a day. —Byron. SACRIFICE. Sacrifice is the secrct of beauty, culture, and character. Selfishness eats sweetness from the singer's voice as rust eats the edge of a sword. St. Cecilia refused to lend the divine touch to lips steeped in pleasure. He who sings for love of gold finds his voice becoming metallic. In art, "When the brush grows voluptuous it falls like an angel from heaven." Fra Angelico refuses an invitation to the Pitti Palace, choosing rather his crust and palate in the cell of the monastery. The artist gave his mornings to the poor, his everings to his canvas. But when the painter had worn his life away in kindly deeds, men found that the light divine had been transferred to the painter's canvas.—Newell Dwight Hillis. 1 SELF-SATISFACTION. The self-satisfied person who always knows he could have done better than the one who was present in time of some special trouble or danger, is seldom the person to whom anyone turns when help or advice is needed. Too much self-confidence has a way ciif awakening distrust in others. SONG. Rarely, rarely, comest thou, Spirit of Delight! Wherefore hast thou left me now Many a day and night? j Many a weary night and day 'Tis since thou art fled away. How shall ever one like me Win thee back again? With the joyous and the free Thou wilt scoff at pain. Spirit false! thou hast forgot All but those who need thee not. —Shelley. THE PRESENT. Let no man extend his thoughts, or let his hopes wander, towards future and far distant events and accidental contingencies. This day is mine and yours, but ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For he that by a present and a constant holiness secures the present, and makes it useful to his noblest purposes, he turns his condition to his best advantage.—Jeremy Taylor. —————— i CHINESE PROVERBS. I Do not be afraid of going slowly, but of standing still. t Wealth is as dross, righteousness is worth untold gold.. If one does not learn in youth, what win one do when old? If you do not scale the mountain, you cannot view the plain. Time flies like an arrow, days and months fly like a weaver's shuttle. The instructor leads to the door, but aptitude rests with the individual. CHRISTIANITY. I If Christianity does not change a man'a heart it has missed its calling. As soon as we understand the teachings and love of Christ, and let them live in our hearts, we will feel ourselves great and free. Let spiritual and intellectual culture advance; let science extend and grow, and the human mind expand as much. as it can, it will never surpass the sub- I limitv and moral culture of Christianity as it shines and is taught in the Gospels.— Goethe. j UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD. 11 God has taught in the Scriptures the lesson of a universal brotherhood, and man must not gainsay the teaching. Shivering in the icebound or scorching in the tropical regions; in the lap of luxury or in the wild =Od of the primeval forest; belting the globe in a tired search for rest, or quiet- H ing through life in the heart of ancestral woods; gathering all the decencies around him like a garment, or battling in a fierce raid of crime against a world which has, disowned him, there :s an inner humannese which binds me to that man by a primitive and indissoluble bond. He is my brother. and I cannot release mvself from the obliga- < tion to do him good.—W. Morley Punshon. j
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Mr. William Harpur, Cardiff city engi- neer, who has died had a national reputa- tion as a sanitary and town-planning ex- pert. A recruit for Newport police force is John H. Haig, sixty-six, an ex-soldier, who waa r with Loid Roberts on the march to Kanda- har in 1880. Flag-Commander Arthur Kemmis-Betty, R.N., who has just been awarded the D.S.O., is the third of the sons of the late Colonel J. F. Kemmis-Betty, R.A., to be awarded that honour during the war I