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Cigarette Papers.


Cigarette Papers. Whistling. This is an age of revolutions. Russia is already in the throes of an upheaval, and gory stories are related by the doings enacted in the streets of Moscow, Jttiga, and other more unpronouncable names. It LS, however, a little consolation to hnd that the petty Republics of South America who make revolutions much the same as we make demonstrations, and sometimes it is easier even than that, it is some consolation, I say, to hnd that they have not acted up to any of their old tricks; but, hue good Christians, they celebrate the present Christmas in the spirit of Christmasâthat of peace and goodwill. But 1 do not wish to dwell on that, specific kind of revolution. I am at present dwell- ing on the changes which are daily made by those in the know about what we should do or not do for the sake of our health. These latter people are called health faddists"âa term with which I am not concerned-and it is the dictates oi these Samaritan-inclined people which shall occupy the space devoted to this honoured column this week. Glancing at the columns of a daily contemporary the other day, I was astonished to find the following injunc- tion:â"We are to whistle for health." I rubbed my eyes, thinking that perhaps my occult, faculty had been deceived; but no, there it was in the coldest of cold print, We ;must whistle for health." And thia is the latest discovery of the health faddists I Centuries upon cen- turies have rolled away into dust, and, notwithstanding the flood of enlighten- ment which loved those ages, they, poor souls, knew nothing of the bene- hcial properties of whistling. True, a certain kind of whistlingâa kind of stand- offish style, if I may so term it-has been indulged in during that time," but that was not the proper way-that kind of whistling was not the one calculated to bring health and strength in its train. That was merely whistling for amuse- ment or by force of habit perhaps, and sometimes the practice was indulged to the no small chagrin of those unfortu- nate enough to be within the sounds of the sweet melody. But this later kind of whistling is a new brand fashion, and must be adhered to with as much fidelity as you do your morning bath, or your doctor's concoctions. It is no warbling matter j it must be a. downright, honest sort of whistling. To proceed, we are. told that every morningâand at intervals during the day -we are gravely to purse our lips (soli- tude will be necessary for many of us, or we shall 4augh), and whistle the burden that we love. Papa in the bath, mamma at her uressing-table, the children in the nursery, Mary Jane and Emma in the kitchen, all whistling, a little out of tune, for dear health. You should hear them whistling," as a pantomime song of the 'eighties chanted! I hope the reader has followed the in- structions closely. We are distinctly told that it is to be a daily whistle, not just now and again as the fit may be, but every morning," and the practice must be indulged in oftener even than that, for are we not told that we must, also whistle at intervals during the day? I would also beseech my readers to note the ring of sincerityâthe gravityâof the whole thing; it is not a laughing busi- ness, for we are told that we are gravely to purse our lips (solitude will be necessary for many of us, or we shall laugh), and whistle the burden that we loive." We are to go about it with a serious air, with minds intent on the beneficial results that are to follow. We are not even to smile; it is a health pre- scription, and who would dream of smiling when taking doctor's medicine? Further, this unique prescription has the advantage of being specially appli- cable to members of both sexes and of all ages. Papa in the bath, having his customary douche, can comfort himself with a thrilling rendering of, say, Just one girl," while mamma at her dressing- table may surpass herself while combing her back hair with a delightful lip per. formance of Down by the Old Bull and Bush." Even the children in the nur- sery may warble in sweet swelling sounds" the magnificent refrain of "Take your umbrella with you, John," while Mary Jane and Emma in the kitchen may woo the bloom of health by a stentorian whistle of "Just like the ivy I'll cling to you." They may certainly be a little out of tune," but then, when the human organ is a little out of tune, what does it, matter, when by whistling they may regain the lost blooms, and perhaps lost lovers. Indeed, I see no end to the many ad- vantages to be derived from this latest fad, if it may be called a fad. For my part, I would be inclined to hail it as one of the most pleasant and least cum- brous ways of seeking health. Surely, it far surpasses the old method of going to overcrowded seaside resorts, where YOIU may incur the danger of sleeping in a damp bed, or where you are certain to meet with that most opprobrious and hateful document-the landlady's bill. All you have to do is to open your mouth the first thing in the morning, and whistle away for dear life. Various individuals have been proclaiming the inestimable benefits of walking tours, swimming, boxing and the many other forms of exercises, but to my simple mind, the gentle art of whistling surpasses them all in convenience, and also as far as results are concerned. Then another point worth considering is the fact that you may whistle at whom you like, or at what you may please. Your employer may impose upon you some arduous task, or he may tell you something that you don't exactly relish; you can whistle when he turns his back. Should he wrathfully turn around and ask you why do you dare to whistle, why you may tell him that you do it for the sake of yoiur health. I have heard boys and others whistling at a political meet- ing or in a concert or eisteddfod, and I always characterised the practice as most annoying; but now I find that I was mistaken. Those boys and others had long ago found out the health properties of whistling, and they practised it in all sorts of stuffy places. It cannot be that they whistled from motives of impropriety or discourtesy. No, of course not; they whistled for health. FAGITJS.


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