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Mary Ann's Adventures in London.

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Mary Ann's Adventures in London. Star.' Speshul Echo.' All the winners.' 'Paper, sir?'" The scene was a street in West Lon- don, not very far from Piccadilly Circus. There was a little mist, that threatened now and again to assume a thick pallor of a dark brown hue. The sun struggled valiantly to shine through the pall, but his efforts were not very successful. Everything incidental to the time of the year was to be seen. The streets, pre- sented a lively aspect, and every gallant young fellow sported a mistletoe in his buttonhole. The 'buses were crowded with holiday passengers, and, a strange thing at this time of the year, most of the passengers rode outsideâsuch was the mildness of the weather. On this par- ticular day, also, every 'bus driver sported Lord Rothschild's colours, for every 'bus driver is the recipient of a handsome Christmas box from the generous Baron on Christmas Day. Entirely oblivious of their surround- ings, Mary Ann and her young man, Percival, the marine store dealer's appren- tice, stood staring vacantly into one of Lockhart's cheap dining rooms. They had arrived early this Christmas morn- ing, having made the journey from Car- diff in an excursion train which left the Welsh Metropolis on Sunday midnight. What'll ye hev, May?" inquired Per- cival, softly. "Oh! I don't know," returned Mary Ann; Oi don't feel up to much." Let's go in and see wot they got for a, feller to eat," proposed Percival. Orl right," assented his partner. Waiter," ordered Percival, "'and us the menniew card ? The menu card was produced, and Percival scrutinised it half a dozen times up and down, but finding nothing to tickle his taste he handed the pasteboard to Mary Ann to chewse wot yer loike." The lady returned the card, nodded a significant "humph," and remarked: Oi see nawthin' pertikler in the blessed thing." "Na,iv, ther' ain't," assented Percival. Turning to the waiter, he said: "Waiter, hev yer anyfink else to chew besoides that wot yer got on that menniew ? That's all we've got, sir," replied the waiter. And a foine lot, it is, too! snapped Mary Ann. The waiter picked up the despised menu card, ruminated over it for a moment, and addressing the lady, he asked: "Do you like fish, miss ? Bah! snapped Mary Ann do yew tak' us for Yarmouth bloaters ? We hev some mashed potatoes and sausages," remarked the patient waiter. Pickled fry and cabbages," retorted the indignant lady. Poached eggs on toast," ventured the waiter. "Wot d'ye say to that?" asked Per- cival. It's better than nawthink," replied Mary Ann. Poached eggs on toast, waiter, for two, and don't be a month abaht, it." Something to drink ? queried the man of the cloth. "Fathead, of course!" snapped Mary Ann "coffeel" This sumptuous order having been duly served, both Percival and Mary Ann set to replenish their Little Marys," and this no small task having been at length accomplished, Percival proposed a visit to Madame Tussaud's, which. was duly accepted. Thoy took a 'bus, and after a ten minutes' ride they alighted at the portals of the great waxwork exhibition, ancf after paying at the turnstiles they passed inside. Mary Ann, though a Londoner, had never seen Madame Tussaud's before, and she was considerably bewildered at the figures which stood around them. Seeing a, lady with a programme in her hand, Mary Ann proceeded towards her, and handing her a coin she was non- plussed at the obstinacy of the lody, who absolutely refused to take the proffered coin. Mary Ann waxed considerably, until, finding that she was the object of much amusement, she discovered to her horror that the "obstinate" lady was a model." So chagrined was she at this outrageous event that she threatened to leave the bloomin' show" there and then. By reason of much coaxing, Per- cival succeeded in appeasing her wrath, and by the time the whole exhibition had been visited she had regained her usual composure. There was one place, yet to be visited. It was the Chamber of Horrors. Mary Ann did not cherish the idea of visiting the chamber at first; but, desiring to impress her "daring" upon her young man, she consented to "do" this fearful abode of crime relics. But no sooner had she commenced to descend the stone steps leading to the chamber than the sight of a murderer doing his victim to death" completely unnerved her, and she fled precipitately back to the entrance, followed by Percival. The next place visited was the Zoological Gardens, and here considerable amuse- ment was afforded the couple by the per- formances of the denizens of the monkey house. From there they proceeded to the National Gallery, but Mary Ann scon got weary of looking at the masterpieces, and an adjournment for dinner was declared. After dinner, Mary Ann evinced a sin- cere desire to "sit down," and Temple Gardens being the nearest, open space at hand, both wended their steps in that direction. Oh, Lor! what a blessing," ejaculated the lady, when seated. "I am really tired after looking at, those 'orrid pic- tures." "An' so am Oi," responded Percival.

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