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AGRICTURE.I i

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HI NTS UPON GARDENING. --

ATTEMPT To MURDER A NON-COMMISSIONED…

1SPORTS AND PASTIMES.

DR. LEECH IN CONSULTATION…

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DR. LEECH IN CONSULTATION ON THE CASE OF MR. GRASSHOPPER. During the summer and autumn, when disengaged at the theatre, Mr. Grasshopper was permitted to hire out his musical services at open air entertain- ments, more especially at cricket matches; and when the winter season came round again, he was found sticking to his post in the band at the Royal Bandbox. In pursuing his avocation, he caught a cold; and though he tried to make game of it; yet it settled upon his cheat both in and out of the Bandbox, and affected his lungs so much that his playing became very hard work. His daughters endeavoured to per- suade him to give up, but he held back from doing so. thinking that he might fight off the attack by Boxing Night. But one evening, during the performance, when his fife ought to have given out a shrill note, as the signal for the pet of the ballet to bound on to the stage, his breath failed him, and the note was merely a promis- sory one, that was dishonoured when it should have come to maturity. Instead of issuing the note, Mr. Grasshopper only gave a gasp, partly from pain, partly from fright, for he felt that this failure of his blow was a great blow to him. The pet of the ballet, in a great pet, complained to the manager, who at once gave Mr. Grasshopper a note of warning for his missing note, and told him that al- though he had engaged him to assist in; Raising the Wind, yet that he did not wish him to enact the cha- racter of Jeremy Diddler. Mr. Grasshopper might have excused himself on the plea that he was taking a bar's rest; but he felt that this would be a bar to the rest of his engagement, so he contented himself by promising that his mistake should not be repeated da capo. Nor, indeed, was it; for the very simple reason that he never again took his seat in the orchestra, and buckled to his work in the band. And, the next 'even- ing, when Lucinda and Leonora appeared in peri costume in the great development scene (by Darwin) of the Lustrous Lake of the Peerless Periwinkles." their father was not present on the other side of the footlights to mark the time with his fife for the peris' periodical movements; for the state of his own wind- pipe obliged him to lay aside his professional one. His cold passed into a cough, and he was unable to leave his room. His daughters told him that he should have the best advice; but Mr. Grasshopper said, Doctors are so expensive; we cannot afford them." Oh, but we can," said Lucinda. We have got a *ise in salary. That scene where we are sent up on a lift has given us a lift." "And," said Leonora, "you know, papa, that we shall never succeed in our profession unless we bestow every care on our pas." So the good girls sent for Dr. Leech; and that use. ful member of society came and felt Mr. Grasshopper's pulse, and looked at his tongue, and shook his head, and said that he would see him on the morrow. Was there any danger P" asked Lucinda, as she escorted Dr. Leech to the door. Yes; there was great danger," replied the doctor. In the morning he came again, and again shook his head. Leonora proposed further advice, and asked Dr. Leech if he would object to meet Dr. Sucker in oon- sultation. Not in the least," replied Dr. Leeoh. And, no sooner had this been agreed upon, than the manager of the Royal Bandbox Theatre proposed,, to send his own medical adviser, Dr. Oupper, to pay proper attention to a member of his orchestra, so that he might aid in his recovery, and make him able to come again to the play. Then the three doctors met together in consulta- tion on Mr. Grasshopper's case. Bad cold, is it ?" said Dr. Cupper, as he felt the patient's pulee. But a warm-hearted man-so the manager tells me. Like Wendell Holme's clerk, who had 'a glow in his heart and a cold in his head.' Well, well, we shall soon make you well again, and you will Deleft all right. It is more than a mere catarrh and bronchial affec- tion. Does that hurt you ? asked Dr. Leech, as he made a lunge at the lungs of Mr. Grasshopper, at which the patient somewhat impatiently flinched. How is your appetite ? asked Dr. Sucker. Ah! his physique looks as if he needed physio. His shrunken limbs have made his coat a great-coat; and what a length of leg! He might be nick-named 'LongshaBks. I think that I should exhibit small doses of ipeca- cuanha or nitric ether. Either would do." li Ishriuld prefer the carbonate of iron," said Dr. Cupper, with irony. I should prefer taking a little blood. There is nothing like blood-letting," said Dr. Leech, who,l n his earlier days, had been one of the young bloods at the Prince Regent's court. And then the three doctors held a consultation, in which, though they disagreed, as doctors would, yet they all eventually were of one opinion as to the benefit that their patient would derive from a little loss of blood. Mr. Grasshopper thought that he had none to lose, and so, also, thought his two daughters, who determined to shut the door upon the doctors, and not to apply any of their leeches, but to give their invalid all the nourishment and support that they could procure for him. When we are not dancing at the theatre, we will dance attendance upon you," said his daughters, "and we shall soon get you well again, and into your old place in the orchestra." But although, with their care, Mr. Grasshopper got tolerably well again, yet he was never strong enough to resume his post in the band at the Royal Bandbox Theatre. He could not say with Macduff, I'll to Fife!" for he was too ill to fife; but his daughters made such rapid steps in their profession that they were enabled to keep him in comfort for the rest of his days; so that, when he became weaker, he had reason to be grateful to those followers of Terpai. chore, Lucinda and Leonora Grasshopper, or, as they were named in the play- bills, The Sisters Grasshop- perini.Gomical Creatures, or Sketches in Social Zoology, in Cassell's Illustrated Familg Paper."

CHARGE AGAINST A FRENCH BANKER.

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FACTS AND FACETIIS. --+-