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WHEN a woman becomes so absent-minded as to forget to hold her hand so that the light will fall upon her diamond ring it is safest for her husband to give her a wide berth. She is doing some dangerous thinking. FOR BACHELORS-" When does a man become a seamstress?" "When he hems and haws. "No." When he threads his way." "No." "When he rips and tears." "No." "Giveitup." Never, if he can help it." IT has been remarked that there was one thing about Baron Munchausen that should be set down to his credit, although nobody credits anything he says, and that is, that the baron never held himself out as a weather prophet. A COUNTKY preacher said he knew it was the proper thing for him to be poor and humble and brethren," he added, I know that I can confi- dently depend on you to keep me poor, and let us hope that the Lord will make me humble." CAN a man marry on ten dollars a week?" was the question propounded for discussion before the Young Men's Economic Benefit Society," and a female anditor shrieked ''Not if his girl knows that that's all the income he has THERE is a restaurant up town to which French people are in the habit of going. The proprietor- a good-natured Germanâhas a sign over the door which reads, French Spoken Here." A customer accosted him in French the other day, when he ex- claimed: Vot is dem vords you is shpeaking ? Vy don't you sometimes chpeak English ? But I thought you spoke French said the customer. Your sign says, French Spoken Here.pl, Yas, dat is all right. Der Frenchmans vot come here, dey shpeak French shust like so many hens." TIOKET COLLECTOR (to very seedy-looking indivi- dual, just getting into a first-class carriage)â"First class, sir?" Seedy passenger (gaily)â"Yes, thanks. How's yerself ?" "IT is a. curious fact," says an entomologist, that it is the female mosquito which torments us." A bachelor thinks, that it is not at all cu- rious.

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-=========== i WANTED—A…

IN BAD TASTE.

SELECTED HEADINGS.

THE SCARLET POCKETS.

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THE RECORD OF A TRUE MAN.

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1TIT-BITS.

:The Parade.