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MARRIED LIFE IN JAPAN

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RHYL DISTRICT.

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A MAN, when asked a few days since what in- duced him to make a lawyer of his son, replied Oh, he was always a lying little fellow, and I thought I'd humour his leading propensity." A SHOEMAKER was taken up for bigamy. "Which wife?" asked a bystander, will he be obliged to take ?" He is a cobbler," replied another, "and of course must stick to the last." THEY WERE MARRIED.â"How do you tie a love-knot ?" asked Laura, toying with a bit of blue ribbon. Oh, any way," growled Tom, behind his newspaper, just so that it will pull out easy." WALPOLE'S Duchess of Rutland was accustomed to say to her niece, when one of those apocryphal anecdotes of which the Courts of the Georges were so prolific came to her ears, That's a lie, my dear; but make a note of it; it will do for news in the country." ONE morning (says Phillips of himself and Curran) we met an Irish gentleman, who certainly most patriotically preserved his native pronuncia- tion. He had acquired a singular habic of lolling out his tongue. What can he poasibly mean by it ? said I to Curran. I think it's clear enough, said he, the man's trying to catch the English accent!" AN orator, holding forth in favour of woman âdear, divine woman," concluded thus Oh, my hearers, depend upn it, nothing beats a good wife!" I beg your pardon," replied one of his auditors, a bad husband does." THEY tell me you've travelled, Mr. Crimson- beak," said Miss Fussanfeather, during a lull in the conversation the other night. "Yes, I've travelled considerable. I used to travel for a dry goods house. I wish I was travelling now." "I wish you were," innocently rejoined the young lady, noticing that both hands of the clock were pointing upward. WHY don't you stir yourself andg et something to do ?" was asked of a lazy fellow. I don't know unless I'm too superstitious."Super- stitious What has superstition got to do with it?" "Well, I read somewhere once that I every- thing corner to him who waits,' and I don't want to do anything that will be liable to injure my prospects. IN a small town out West" an ex-county judge is cashier of the bank. The cheque is all right, sir," he said to a stranger, but the evidence you offer in identifying yourself as a person to whose order it is drawn is scarcely sufficient." "I've known you hang a man on less evidence, judge," was the stranger's response. "Quite likely," re- plied the ex-judge but, when it comes to letting go of cold cash, we have to be careful." NOTHING is ever lost by being pleasant and agreeable. You ask for two pounds of steak- no more, no less. One butcher growls that he can't out off just two pounds, and you leave him thoroughly vexed. At the next stall the man of meat hears your request with unruffled visage, cuts off a pound and a half, throws it into the scale and cuts again in double quick time, rolls it up neatly and says. with a sweet smile, Just two pounds, ma'am." Married Lady has most invaluable harmless Benei-* fo f,adie-. Stamp d addressed envelope for particulars.-HLRBIB, Ini more, Listewel, Ireland.